1: Hello Truck-kun

Killed by a truck when trying to cross the street: Check. Meeting with god: Check. Told I’d receive a few cheats: Check. Not told enough details to avoid surprise when I begin my new life: Check.

Is this a story? Am I living in some low quality otherworld story now? *sigh*

So, let’s give a more thorough rundown of events: I was walking home from work, and while crossing the street, a truck hit me. I guess I was the only one not paying enough attention, because no one else was hit, and it was a crowded crosswalk. It’s always a crowded crosswalk. I’m honestly amazed the traffic was clear enough for a truck to be going that fast! Usually the traffic is so bad, that walking is faster than taking a taxi.

Well, after that happened, I then found myself in an empty white space, talking with a wizened old man.

“Actually I just look like whatever you find most comfortable and safe to talk to.”

I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, and that you actually are a wise old man. I’ve read too many stories with incompetent gods to want to see one of those young buxom beauties, with bigger breasts than brains.

“... I’m starting to regret reading your thoughts. Well, it’s a necessary step since you can’t talk right now, and I need to get you to a new life quickly, because there’s a lot of souls to deal with. Now, since you lived reasonably well, I’m sending you to go improve one of the newer worlds. I’ll give you a few cheats.”

Can I take my smartphone with me? I don’t want to lose access to the internet.

“No. I’ll try to see what can be done though.”

2: Waking up

The first thing I notice upon waking up, is that I feel funny. Trying to look at myself, I realize: I can’t move. I can look around, but it doesn’t feel like movement, and I don’t see my body. Am I a disembodied soul? Lost in a dark cave? … why can I see the walls if there’s no light?

System loading…

A blue message window appears. Uh… how long do I have to wait?

System loading… 

No progress bar? Nothing at all?

System loading…

This has to be the worst loading screen I’ve ever seen.

Welcome Dungeon 404 to the new Chat Network!
We hope you will enjoy your stay, and make good use of the many features!
Instant messaging!
Package sending!
Photo sharing!
Even more features may be coming in the near future!

A chat program? Well, exploring the new GUI I gained access to I found not just a chat program (I’ll get back to that later), but a full Dungeon Master game style list of options! Unfortunately, reading through the tutorials makes it clear that this won’t be as simple and easy as many of the stories I’d read. No remotely absorbing materials for instance. No free viewing of everything I control. Instead I basically am just a rock, and can absorb things that are within about two meters. 

If I want to build a massive and powerful dungeon, I’m gonna need minions to gather materials and deliver them to my room. I’ve got a few points to start with, but what sort of minions do I want?

At first I thought I’d get some slimes. They were super cheap, though also super weak. While they had no real intelligence of their own, this seemed more like a bonus than a penalty to me, as it meant they’d only do what I told them to. No risk of them attacking someone without me telling them to.

In comparison, other low cost options like Goblins or Kobolds seemed like a bad idea. While they were stronger in a fight, and could do work faster once equipped with tools, they were also aggressive. The description treated it as an advantage, since they’d attack intruders without needing to be told, and if I want to minimize the amount of attention needed to do things, that would make sense. However, I’d rather not become an enemy of everyone who ever enters my dungeon. I’d like to be able to make some friends.

In the end though, I spotted something I could barely afford that I rather liked: The fairy. Fairy’s have magic and are invisible. Mostly they just have illusions, but they can turn intruders away without harming them, and will automatically do so. Additionally, they are good at finding and harvesting plant resources, such as herbs, and good at helping grow plants too. It’s not as helpful as a dryad, but I can’t summon a dryad without unlocking trees first. Not sure how to do that.

So, I summoned one Fairy. I had a feeling this was probably a stupid mistake, but I couldn’t resist.

3: Trade

While I didn’t seem to have anyway to talk to the fairy, I could give orders through my GUI. Just like playing an RTS, I had a map window, and a bunch of buttons for giving orders. So I sent her off to go scout. I still didn’t know what the surrounding area was like. Thankfully, a basic scout order was all that was needed, so I can turn my attention now, to the chat room.

Emerald Fairy: As always, still looking for basic herbs. When training new recruits, we can never have too many herbs. Offering one low grade crystal per ten herbs.

Eh? There’s a picture of an herb that matches one of the things in the list of plants I can create. It’s cheap too. I’m not sure what a low grade crystal is, or how much it’s worth, but I might as well give it a try. I send Emerald Fairy a stack of ten herbs. Soon, I receive a direct message, with a package attached. (I’m not too clear on how sending physical objects works, but it does.)

Emerald Fairy: Wow, these are in perfect condition! No damage at all! I’ve given you double the usual payment. I hope you can send more! ;)

Accepting the package, resulted in two stones appearing on the ground. They don’t really look special, just looks like low quality jade. I try absorbing them to convert to points, and I get… eh? I got enough points to buy another 50 herbs. Wtf?

So, obviously, I traded more herbs and got more stones to convert to points to make more herbs to trade for more stones and… yeah.

Emerald Fairy: Wow! I actually don’t need anymore herbs for the rest of this month! Thanks Dungeon 404!

I now feel rich. What am I supposed to do with these points though? I haven’t actually figured out the advancement system here yet.

4: Another Trope

My fairy minion has fully explored the surprisingly large cave I’m in. There’s not much here. A little bit of water, but not enough to be of use to anything big enough to be a danger. There is an exit, but I don’t want to send my only defense out of the cave yet. Since I have a surplus of points, I spent a few to get another fairy to guard the entrance, before letting the first scouting fairy minion go exploring outside.

Then I turned more of my attention to the chat again, to try and learn something…

I learned that everyone in chat is either crazy, or a bunch of cultivators. Since I’ve been reborn as a dungeon core, the latter sounds more likely. Except, everything I’ve seen so far in my world indicates a fantasy setting with goblins and orcs and such, not a cultivation setting full of mystic beasts. Did god connect me to the wrong chat room? I don’t think any of this will help me figure out how my own advancement system works.

An alert then interrupted my thoughts. My guard spotted an intruder. At first I thought I’d get to watch my fairy in action, but then I realized this was another classic trope: A young woman running away from a group of men. Unless this world is gonna start subverting tropes, she’s probably in danger. I issued an order for the fairy to divert the men, and not do anything to the woman. The micro required was a bit tricky compared to what I’m used to, and rather annoying. I never was any good at Real Time Strategy games. I always preferred turn based games.

When the men were finally safely moving in a different direction, having completely lost their target, I finally had time to find out what the woman was doing… she was staring at me. I, uh, wasn’t really expecting her to get so close so fast. Please don’t hurt me!

5: A new friend?

“Such a pretty stone… wait, I can’t stop now, I need a place to hide!”

Sorry, but there’s nowhere to hide here, and nowhere to run. This is the end of the cave. I was glad she’d stopped paying attention to me, but as she frantically searched the place, I couldn’t help but worry about her. I wish I had a way to talk to her. Heck, I can’t even talk to my minions. Basic game-like orders are so limiting. Can’t give complex orders at all.

I ended up deciding to summon a slime, and telling it to dig open a new room. It basically shoved itself into the wall, then pulled away, taking a piece of the wall with it, then repeated the process, occasionally taking the stone to me, where it’d dump it. I’m gonna have to figure out what to do with all the dirt and stone digging will produce.

“Eh? A slime? Digging? Where did it come from? I’ve never heard of a slime doing this.”

I honestly haven’t heard of it either, but it’s a minion I can summon that can dig. I’m tempted to summon more, but I don’t want to frighten her, so for now I’m letting it work slowly. Meanwhile… she seems to be taking the stone and dirt and building a hiding place in the corner.

“Why haven’t they found me yet?”

They aren’t coming. I made sure of that. Do I have food? I don’t have food. Why isn’t there food in the list? Do I need to unlock it or something? I suppose there’s a distinct lack of manufactured goods in my list of options right now. Perhaps I have to unlock it all.

It’s a bit annoying that this woman is still marked as an intruder, and the GUI is still flashing the intruder warning thing. I don’t see a way to mark her as friendly either. 

Watching the slime work, I learned something really neat: They can climb walls. I wasn’t expecting that. Makes the slime potentially really good, despite low combat stats. I guess they are the best builders? Well, no, the stone golems are supposed to be better.

I really need a better solution for defense, especially if I want potential friendlies to be able to come and go safely… also, why did she call me pretty? From the map I can see I’m just an octahedron made of some clear crystal floating in the air.