Hi, it’s Penny. That last chapter was really emotional for Michelle to write, so she asked me to step in while she takes a break. So just as a refresher, my name is Penelope, or Penny for short. I’m a trans girl who went to college with Tara. When she introduced me to her “brother”, we became fast friends. I’ve been helping Michelle along with her journey with gender, while also going through my own transition. It’s been wonderful watching her grow into her own like this. But without further ado, let’s get this started.

One cold, January day, the house was fairly quiet. My folks were downstairs, watching TV, my brother was in his room playing games, while I was in my own room, using a new drawing tablet I had just gotten for Christmas. Michelle was still feeling bad about her breakup, so I offered to draw her something to cheer her up. My art skills may not have been fantastic, but I was decent enough to do this much at least. It would be a picture of her, wearing a pink dress and with long hair, done up in pigtails. 

She really enjoyed stuff like this, but her natural hair sadly wasn’t very long. Part of still being in the closet I supposed. Admittedly, she still didn’t know what her identity was, but I was confident she’d find the answer eventually. She told me she had made friends with another trans girl while at the anime con, named Erika. Funny enough, that was a name I had considered for myself, but it just never worked out. Nice to see someone got some use out of it at least!

As I was drawing, my hand accidentally brushed my chest. Yikes! A surge of pain shot through me, knocking me out of my chair! I let out a loud yelp of pain, and within moments, my brother came rushing in.

“Penny! Are you ok?” Shawn asked, moving straight to my side.

“Ow, yeah, I’m fine. They weren’t kidding when they said my chest would be sensitive on HRT. I barely touched it and it hurt like hell! Geez, I had no idea it was gonna be this bad.” He offered me his hand and I took it, letting him help me up.

“That hormone stuff must really be working its magic then, wow. Are you sure you’re gonna be ok?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. My chest is just gonna be sensitive for a while, but I’ll live. A little pain, but nothing serious. Thank you though.”

“Well alright, if you’re sure. Just be careful, ok? I want my little sister to be happy and not in pain. I got your back, no matter what.” With that, he gave me a gentle hug and went back to his room. It was nice having such a supportive brother. He certainly wasn’t perfect, he did still slip up and call me by my old name sometimes, but he usually corrected himself or took a slight nudge from me. No matter what, I at least knew he cared.

My parents hadn’t been so easy to convince. Mom had a crisis of faith and ended up having a long talk with our priest. Lucky for me, he had nothing against the LGBT community and told her that she could still keep her faith and support me at the same time. Dad wasn’t quite as difficult, but unfortunately he was disabled after a bad car accident some years back. We were all concerned about him, especially his heart. But after some time, he came around and accepted me.

Originally, I had never even wanted to come out to them in the first place. I knew I had felt like a girl since I was little, but everyone told me it was wrong so I pushed the feelings down and tried to be a normal guy. That lasted until high school, when I couldn’t deny the feelings any longer. But I had been subject to rampant bullying in the meantime, causing me to develop certain issues. Mainly, germ phobia and some OCD tendencies. Mind you, I was never formally diagnosed with either one, but the issues were there.

During my senior year of high school, I finally broke down and came out to my family. I had tried to do something, regrettable, but my dad caught me just in time. It felt like I had no future, that if I couldn’t be a girl, there was no point in continuing to live. Dad stopped me though and just held me in his arms for a long time, while I cried my heart out. I had to tell him how I felt, no matter how it would turn out. He took it about as well as could be expected. He didn’t outright reject me, but said he and Mom would need time to understand how I felt.

So for a while, we took things slow. I would have “girl days” and “boy days”, with the latter being much more frequent. At the start, I’d get one day a month where I could go “girl mode”. I could wear feminine clothes, temporarily color my hair, and my family would do their best to refer to me by my chosen name. It was slow going at first, a difficult change for all of them. But with time, they started to get used to it.

Mom still wasn’t thrilled about all of this, but I slowly gained more girl days. First it was an extra day or two a month, then once or twice a week! By the time I started HRT a few months ago, there was no more limit. I could just be me, all the time! And now I had hormones to help.I was sure I was on the right path. I would finally become who I was meant to be!

About an hour later, I was called down for dinner. I had made some decent progress on the drawing, but I was getting hungry. So I made my way downstairs, where mom had prepared some chicken and rice. Basic, but it looked good. Shawn had made it down there before me, and had helped to set the table. It was rare for all of us to have a home-cooked meal together like this, but it was nice. We could have some family time together for once.

As we ate, Mom and my brother both discussed their days at work. Shawn had worked from home that day, he didn’t have to go into the office all the time. Even with that, he still worked hard and got what was needed done. Mom, on the other hand, had to travel a decent way to and from her work. She had to head out near Boston, about a 45 minute drive. But the pay was really good and it helped keep us afloat, since Dad was on disability. He wanted to work, but after the accident, he physically wasn’t able to do it anymore. Not without putting his health at serious risk. So now he got disability pay from the government.

After dinner, I made my way back up to my room. When I looked at my computer, I saw some messages in my group chat. It was my friends from college, the ones I had made at the GSA. Jarod, Lilith, Samantha and Tara were all there. Even if Tara came in later, she was still a valued member of the group. Lilith had moved out to California with her girlfriend after college, while the rest of us were still around. I opened up the chat to see Lilith had sent a new selfie of her and her girlfriend.

QueenofHell: Hey girls (and Jarod)! Your girls out here looking fabulous! {selfie}
ToyMaster: What, am I not pretty enough to be one of the girls? Lol
QueenofHell: Ha! Just trying to respect your gender my dude. Or should I say, m’lady. {smirk}
GuardianAngel: Dang, you two look great! Big date?
QueenofHell: Nah, just out having fun with friends. Raven is training to be a makeup artist though, so I let her use me as a practice dummy.
ToyMaster: You certainly fit the bill as one! XD

Seemed like they were having fun. Lilith loved calling herself the queen of Hell because of where she got her name. Jarod was ToyMaster due to being a manager at a toy store and collecting old school action figures. Tara picked GuardianAngel because of how much she cares for and protects our little group. Samantha was just a big music fan, so she went with GreenDay182 after two of her favorite bands. I was AmberFairy, a previous name I had tried, combined with fairies which are beautiful mythical creatures. How could I not? And there was no way I was letting them have all the fun!

AmberFairy: Hey guys!
ToyMaster: Penny! You made it! Nice to hear from you girl.
GuardianAngel: Hi Penny! How are the hormones treating you?
QueenofHell: Oh yeah you’ve been on HRT for a few months right? Spill, you must have seen some progress by now!
AmberFairy: Actually yeah, I have! Very painful progress! I touched my chest earlier and fell over cause it hurt so much! I thought they were kidding when they said it would be so sensitive! {crying face}
QueenofHell: Ouch, been there girl. Just keep at it, it’ll be over in a couple months and then you get to the fun part, actual boobs! {hug}
AmberFairy: Can’t wait for that! So how are you all doing?
GuardianAngel: Things are fine with me, my students are doing well. A decent bunch of 10th graders, considering their age.
ToyMaster: Doing good here, I actually just added a new toy to my collection. A vintage 1980’s HeMan action figure. Way cooler than any Barbie my parents gave me growing up.
QueenofHell: I’m awesome, as always. Raven says hi btw! One of these days, I’m gonna make her join our chats and stop being so shy about it.
AmberFairy: Keep us updated!
GuardianAngel: Samantha, you’re awfully quiet tonight. Is everything ok?
GreenDay182: …No, not really.
GuardianAngel: What’s wrong?
GreenDay182: {sigh} my girlfriend and I broke up.
QueenofHell: What??? Why? You two seemed perfect for each other!!!
GreenDay182: She and I just had different goals. She wanted to move to Chicago for a new job opportunity, but I’m happy here. This is where my life is. I can’t just up and leave everything at the drop of a hat, you know? So, we broke up.
GuardianAngel: {hug}
AmberFairy: {hug}
QueenofHell: {hug}
ToyMaster: {hug}
GreenDay182: Thanks everyone, I appreciate the support. I’ll be ok, eventually. I just need some time.
GuardianAngel: Do you want me to come over? I have a day off tomorrow, I can swing by.
GreenDay182: That would be nice, I haven’t seen you in a while. Come by around noon then, I’ll be here.
GuardianAngel: Great, I’ll see you then!
QueenofHell: Anything more we can do to help from here?
AmberFairy: We always have your back Samantha, you’re a good friend.
GreenDay182: Thanks guys, but can we change the subject? I’d rather not dwell on this.
AmberFairy: If you say so. I’ve been playing Pokemon X lately, since I got it for Christmas. It’s so much fun! I love all the different clothing options they give you! I may have scoped out all the clothing stores for the past week, just to make sure I’m getting the best deal possible before I buy more outfits…
GuardianAngel: Geez girl, you don’t go halfway on anything, do you?
AmberFairy: Nope! {smug}
ToyMaster: I should really pick up a 3DS one of these days, you make it sound so fun!
AmberFairy: You do work at the toy store, you should be able to get a discount!
ToyMaster: I can, but it’s a matter of being able to spare that much money. They don’t exactly pay me really well and my partner only just started a new job. Maybe I’ll get one soon, we’ll see.
AmberFairy: Let me know when you do! We can exchange friend codes and play together!
ToyMaster: Sounds like a plan!
QueenofHell: So Tara, how’s your sibling doing? Still not over the breakup?
GuardianAngel: {sigh} Sadly, no. She’s taking it pretty hard. She put a lot of trust in that girl, only for her to break her heart. I feel bad, I wish there was something I could do to help. But she still doesn’t know who she wants to be and it’s not like I can force her to choose a side. Do any of you know what her deal might be? Cause I’m stumped.
ToyMaster: There’s lots of non-binary identities out there. Perhaps she’s on the feminine end of the spectrum, but not fully a girl. Femby if you will. It means feminine non-binary. Totally not specific, but broad enough it might help.
GuardianAngel: Huh, I’ve never heard that term before. I’ll mention it to her next time we talk, thanks Jarod!
ToyMaster: Happy to help! {grin}
QueenofHell: You should do your own research too, just to be on the safe side. This gives you a good starting point at least.
GuardianAngel: Not a bad idea, I’ll do that as well.
GreenDay182: Just for the record, I think your sibling would look hot as a girl! XD

We all had a good laugh at that. This was why I enjoyed talking to them, they always made me feel good. Part of me wanted to invite Michelle to the group, and I knew Tara probably felt the same way. But this just wasn’t the right time. The girl needed a chance to heal. Still, it couldn’t hurt to check in on her at least. So I opened up a new chat and shot her a message.

AmberFairy: Hey girl! How’s it going?
HHHFan91: Ugh, can you not do that?
AmberFairy: Do what? {confused face}
HHHFan91: Call me “girl”. I can’t do this anymore. I lost Mel cause I got too comfortable pretending to be something I’m not.
AmberFairy: Michelle please, you can’t blame yourself for this. It wasn’t your fault. I know you’re hurting but you can’t give up what makes you happy over it!
HHHFan91: It was my fault though. If I hadn’t been so wishy-washy about what I wanted, maybe she would still be here. It was stupid of me to think I could be a girl. I’m not trans, not like you. You always knew you should be a girl, even if you hid that. I can’t decide whether I’m a boy or a girl. So I’m picking a side, just like she said I should. And I’m picking “boy”. I’m done with this.
AmberFairy: {hug} Please don’t give up girl. I know everything is difficult right now and that seems like the easiest option, but it’s not the right one. I’ve seen your pictures of you dressed up, you looked so happy. It’s hard to contain that kind of joy, I should know. I may not be big on skirts and dresses but when I’m wearing my girl clothes and falsies, it feels amazing! I’ve seen that same joy in your eyes as well. Please, don’t give all that up over one bad experience.
HHHFan91: What’s the point? I was fooling myself, thinking I could be a girl. That’s just not who I am. I realize that now. I can’t do this, not like you. I have to accept that I’m just a guy and nothing more. Maybe with a crossdressing kink, but plenty of guys have that. I’d make an ugly ass girl anyways.
AmberFairy: That sounds a lot like gender dysphoria. Look, why don’t we meet up tomorrow? You need someone to be there for you and your sister already has plans. I’ll get a ride from my brother or something and go over to your place. That isn’t exactly easy for me, but for you I’ll make an exception. Just don’t do anything drastic before then, ok?
HHHFan91: Fine, you can come over. Not like I have work tomorrow. But I’m not changing my mind on this, am I clear? I’m done with pretending to be a girl.
AmberFairy: Alright, I’ll see you then. Take care Michelle.

With that, I switched back to the group chat. Tara needed to know what was going on.

AmberFairy: Hey Tara? I think you should talk to Michelle.
GuardianAngel: Why? What’s up?
AmberFairy: She said she wants to give up being a girl because of what happened with Mel.
GuardianAngel: Wait, what??? Are you serious right now?!
AmberFairy: I’m afraid so. As much as I don’t normally like doing this, I’m going to see her tomorrow. Don’t cancel your plans with Samantha, she needs your support. I’ll handle Michelle.
GuardianAngel: Are you sure? I know how your germ phobia acts up when you go to someone else’s place.
AmberFairy: You’re not wrong, but I’ll deal with it. Probably just gonna take a shower when I get home. It’s been a little better as of late anyways, maybe the estrogen is helping.
GuardianAngel: Well alright, as long as you’re ok with it. Be safe girl and make sure Michelle knows what she’s getting into. Maybe you can tell her about the femby thing.
AmberFairy: That’s what I was thinking. She said she doesn’t want me to talk her out of this, but too bad. She needs someone to snap her out of this! Maybe having a word for it will help.
GuardianAngel: We can only hope. I just want my sibling to be happy, no matter their gender.
QueenofHell: That’s the best way to view it. Don’t force her, either of you. This has to be her choice. I know she seems happier as a girl, but if she decides to go back to being a guy, that’s her right. None of us can decide that for her.
AmberFairy: Yeah, you make a good point. I’ll keep that in mind. I’m pretty sure this is just dysphoria, so hopefully I can help her move past that.
QueenofHell: Tread carefully girl, good luck.
AmberFairy: Thanks Lilith, I’ll let you all know how it goes tomorrow. Goodnight!

And with that, I logged off for the night. I had other things to attend to, including wiping stuff down with sanitizing wipes, getting some laundry done and unloading the dishwasher. Hopefully once all that was done, I could find a little time for gaming. It would be a good way to unwind until it was time to get ready for bed. I needed to be out of my family’s way when I did my nightly bathroom routine, as I kind of hogged the good bathroom. But they were used to it by now.

The next day, I was up early to meet with Michelle. I had never been to her place before, so this would be an interesting experience. After a quick breakfast, I hopped in my brother’s car and we set off. It was a decent ways, as I lived a couple towns away. As we drove, my brother and I chatted, mostly about where I was going and why. I kept it simple, as not to out her, telling him that I was going to help out a friend. He understood and a little while later, we arrived at the address.

It was a nice house, certainly more modern than my own. I thanked my brother for the ride as I went over and knocked on the front door. After a minute, an older woman answered the door.

“Oh, hello. You must be Michael’s friend. Penny, right? It’s nice to meet you, I’m Janet, his mom,” the woman, now known as Janet, said.

“Hello ma’am, that’s right, I’m Penny. It’s nice to meet you as well. Is Michael around?” I asked, making sure to use his deadname so she wouldn’t suspect anything.

“Oh yes, he’s upstairs in his room. Michael! Your guest is here!” She called up the stairs. Within a minute, she came rushing down to see me. She was in her normal guy clothes, so at first glance, you wouldn’t be able to tell anything was up.

“Hey, uh, Michael, good to see you. Been a while since we met in person like this,” I said, keeping the tone light for now.

She smiled a bit. “Yeah, it’s good to see you too Penny. Come on in, we can hang out in my room.”

With that, the two of us went up to her room and closed the door behind us. It was pretty nice, maybe a bit bigger than my bedroom back home. It seemed pretty neat, though the closet door was shut. Something told me she cleaned up in a hurry.

“So um, welcome to my home,” Michelle said. “I know your issues with germs, so I tried to clean up as best I could. Make yourself comfortable, you can sit on the bed there. I just put fresh sheets on it this morning.”

“Why thank you Michelle,” I said as I sat down. “You have no idea how much I appreciate you putting in effort like this to make me comfortable. Legitimately, no one has ever done this before. You wouldn’t believe the stuff I’ve had to put up with in the past.”

She blushed a bit, and I saw a slight smile cross her face, just for a moment. “Really? I thought people would be more respectful than that. Sorry to hear that girl. But I wanted to help you out as best I could, considering you came all this way to see me. I hope you didn’t have too much of a hard time finding the place, I know these backroads can be a bit of a maze to navigate.”

“Nah, it was fine. My brother made it here without any real issue. I just gotta call him about an hour before I’m ready to go, so he’s got time to get here.” I responded.

“Fair enough. Either way, it’s good to have you here. I know you wanna talk about what I said last night so let’s get it over with. You must think I’m crazy for giving up being a girl,” she said as she pulled up an office chair to sit in.

“I wouldn’t say that, you’re just hurting, that’s all. If you really do want to stop, that’s your choice. I can’t make it for you. However, I will encourage you to think this through. Are you really sure that’s what you want? To give up being Michelle and go back to being Michael? If it is, then I’ll respect your decision. I just want you to be certain before giving up something that clearly makes you happy.”

“What’s the point of it all though? I’m clearly not a girl. I would know if I was, wouldn’t I? So many trans girls just know from the time they’re young that they were meant to be girls, but here I am, just turned 24 years old, and I still have no idea what I am! It would be easier for everyone if I just let this go and just be Michael again.”

“Easier for whom exactly? Last I checked, you have friends who know about this and accept you for who you are, including me. And you know your sister loves you and cares about you. I’m sorry for what happened with Mel, I really am. It’s partly my fault. If I hadn’t hugged you at the mall that one time, maybe you two would still be together. That ended up being a pretty big and public fight after all.”

“Don’t blame yourself,” Michelle said. “This was bound to happen one way or another. That day opened my eyes, showed me that our relationship wasn’t as perfect as I’d imagined in my head. I wanted so badly to have someone like that who accepted me, but I realize now that she never did. She had her own vision of me that I didn’t fit. I just don’t think I can keep going on like this after such a disaster of a relationship. Something has to give!”

“Well, if something has to give, why can’t it be your male side? I learned a new term last night and wanted to run it by you. It’s called femby, meaning feminine non-binary. The way I understand it is, gender isn’t so black and white. It’s a spectrum of many different colors. If I’m pink for “girl”, you’re a light red. You’re on the feminine end of the spectrum, but maybe not fully a girl like me. You’d be somewhere in the middle. Does that sound right at all to you?”

She was quiet for a minute as she contemplated what I said. I could see the wheels turning in her head, spinning faster and faster. She was overthinking it, I could tell by the look on her face. Maybe it would be better to change the subject.

“Alright, tell you what. Just think it over, you don’t have to give me an answer right now. For now, why don’t we play some games? I assume that was the plan for today, right? Or were we just gonna talk the whole time?” I said with a sly grin.

“Ha! Alright, alright. I got a few games we can play together. I hope you don’t mind shooters,” she laughed.

So she loaded up her PS3 and got out a second controller for me. She even had some wipes for me to use! With that, the two of us started to play for a while. We went through a couple different shooters, including Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and Borderlands 2. Eventually, we both busted out our 3DS’s and played Pokémon together until we got called down for dinner.

When we got down there, I was introduced to her dad. He was an older man, maybe in his late 50s, named David. He insisted I call him Dave, and seemed to be very lighthearted. I told him about my issues with germs, so he let me take utensils straight out of the dishwasher. We sat down at the table and dinner was served. It was spaghetti with meat sauce, along with garlic bread. I’d probably pay for this later with my gut, but it looked really good! Apparently the sauce was an old family recipe of his.

As we ate, Janet and Dave asked me questions. Neither seemed to know I was trans, and I wasn’t gonna change that. Instead I told them about how we met through Tara and became fast friends. I mentioned how “Michael” seemed to be having a hard time after “his” breakup, so I came here to support “him”. They thought that was very sweet. Janet asked about my own love life, which I met with a laugh. I wasn’t interested in dating anyone at the time, I was single and happy. If it was gonna happen, that’s fine. But I wasn’t gonna rush into anything, especially since I was still unsure of my sexuality.

After dinner, I thanked them for the meal and washed my hands. Michelle and I went back upstairs and I called my brother. Since it would take him about an hour to get there, I didn’t wanna wait too late. The two of us sat down again. Michelle was quiet, she seemed to be deep in thought. After a few moments, she spoke up.

“Penny? I’m sorry about all of this.” she said.

“About what Michelle?” I asked, curiously.

“For making you worry, making you come all the way out here. I just, I’m so confused about everything. You’re right, I do enjoy dressing up as a girl. More than that, I enjoy being seen as a girl. If my con experience taught me anything, it’s that I felt amazing having people see me as a girl and nothing else. Not a boy, not a crossdresser, or a femboy, but an honest to goodness girl. What was that word you used earlier? Femby? Maybe that’s me then. I don’t know, this is all so confusing!”

“I get it girl,” I responded. “No one said gender identity was something easy to figure out. Even if I had some idea of who I wanted to be from a young age, it took a long time to come to terms with it and be able to express it to others. I’m lucky that my family has accepted me this way. You already have one family member who supports you no matter what, and your parents seem nice. Give them a chance when you’re ready, maybe they’ll surprise you.”

She sighed. “Maybe you’re right. But I wanna get a better grasp on this before I come out to anyone. ‘Femby’ sounds like a pretty broad term, and I don’t know if I like that. Maybe there’s a better term out there that I haven’t found yet. I suppose part of it is right though, the more I think about it, the more I’m pretty sure that I’m non-binary. I do wanna try HRT, but I don’t wanna get rid of downstairs. I wanna be seen as a girl, but I know I’ve never felt like one inside. I feel, feminine on the inside but not like a girl or woman. I guess I’ll have to keep looking to find something that fits all of this.”

“You got this girl, I believe in you! Wait, are you ok with me calling you ‘girl’ still?” I asked.

“Sure, you can call me that. It feels good and I suppose I should get used to it. I’m not ready to come out publicly yet though, not until I have a solid answer,” she answered.

“That’s great girl! I’m glad you’re finally starting to come around on this idea. I’ve been watching you since we met. You’ve always seemed a lot happier when expressing yourself this way. I’m proud of you for coming this far,” I smiled.

“Thanks Penny, for all of this. You’ve been a huge help. Do you mind if I hug you?”

I thought about it for a moment. “Sure, I’m gonna take a shower when I get home anyways.”

So she came over and hugged me. I couldn’t help but tense up a little from it, being so close to another person, but returned the hug anyway. It was the least I could do for my friend! I definitely felt dirty as we parted, but I didn’t regret it.

“So, since we have a little time left, I don’t think I’ve seen you dressed up outside of a couple pictures and that time at the mall,” I said. “Wanna show me some of your outfits?”

“You want me to dress up? Here, now? With my parents both home? What if they come in to check on us?” she asked, nervously.

“Relax, I doubt they will. And my brother will text me when he’s here. I think this is a pretty safe time to do it.”

“Well, if you’re sure. I guess I could at least lock my door to be safe.” she said, taking a deep breath.

“Ooh, a locked door. I wonder what your folks will think of that!” I laughed.

Michelle’s face turned red. “Oh shut up, you know we're not doing anything! And my parents trust me not to pull that kind of shit!”

“Doesn’t mean they can’t think it,” I smirked.

“Quiet you!” She started laughing and threw a pillow at me. She walked over to her closet and dug out a bin from the very back. “This is where I keep some of my clothes. The rest are hidden in my sister’s old room. No one goes in there anymore, so it’s the perfect hiding spot.”

“Excellent, are your falsies in here as well?” I asked, curiously.

“Yes, I have them here. I store them in an old shoebox, so no one’s any the wiser.”

“Great, why don’t you put those on as well so we can get the full picture here?”

I turned around as she started getting dressed. This part wasn’t for my eyes. After a couple minutes, she gave the word and I turned around.

“So um, what do you think? I don’t have my makeup or anything, but I got the clothes at least.” she said, shaking slightly.

I looked her over. She was wearing a black skirt with a pink shirt that had “Princess” written across it in glittery letters. She was clearly wearing a bra underneath, with the falsies inside.

“Oh that is cute!” I said, happily. “You should see yourself right now, you look amazing! Even without makeup, you make a cute girl!”

Her face turned a deep red. “You really think so? I mean, I look better with the makeup on and everything. It doesn’t feel complete.”

“Yeah but do you have makeup in here?” I asked.

“Um, no. I leave that in my sister’s room, just in case. That way, I have plausible deniability and can just say she must have left it here.”

“Clever! I like it. Makes sense why you wouldn’t keep it in here. It’s probably for the best that you don’t put any on anyway, cause then it’ll be harder to keep from your folks.”

She nodded and took out another shoebox, this one containing a pair of black, 2 inch heels. She slipped them on and stood up. They really added to the look! She walked over to a full length mirror that she had hanging on the back of her bedroom door.

“Wow, this is amazing! I feel great! Even without makeup, I feel pretty. I guess I really can’t keep denying this huh? This is who I’m meant to be. I wanna be able to dress like this all the time, not have to hide it. But I’m too scared to come out. I can’t do it without a real, solid answer to all of this,” she said.

“Well here’s one answer for you,” I said. “Like it or not, you’re trans. I know it’s a big step, but you have to learn to accept that you aren’t a cis guy. Trans is a big umbrella term, which starts the moment you stop identifying with your assigned gender. So no matter where on the spectrum you fall, you’re clearly a trans girl.”

She sighed and sat down in the chair. “I guess you’re right. This isn’t easy to accept, but I have to stop living in denial. If I want to live my best life, that means that I have to accept being a girl. I’m still scared though, what if I’m wrong? What if I’m just faking all of this and I’m really just a guy with a crossdressing fetish?”

“Well only you can determine that, but if you ask me, that’s just silly. You’re far past that point by now. Even with a fetish, a cis guy wouldn’t go this far. I mean, you still want hormones like me, right? Cause they’ve been doing wonders for my body and it’s only been a few months!”

“You got a point,” she responded. “A cis guy wouldn’t want to take HRT like this. I guess I’m just looking for excuses at this point. This isn’t exactly easy to accept.”

“Take your time girl,” I said. “You can do this. I believe in you!”

“Thanks Penny,” she smiled.

We spent the rest of the time chatting while Michelle tried on different outfits. Soon though, my phone chimed. I checked it and sure enough, Shawn was outside. She quickly put her normal clothes back on so she could see me out. I said farewell to her and parents and she and I shared one last hug. I waved goodbye as Shawn and I drove off for home. This had certainly been an interesting day!

Chapter 12 End