I always liked playing the healer in video games. I don't know why, I guess I just like taking care of people. Consequently, I never liked playing as a damage-dealing class. I just don't want to hurt anyone! As a result, I never really developed much by way of aim in first-person shooters, which meant when the new hit class-based shooter LookOut! (exclamation mark included) came out, I didn't have many options if I didn't want to be an anchor. I could try playing one of the tanks for which aiming wasn't important, like the big muscular knight character, or the funny monkey man, but neither of those really appealed to me. The thought of being completely covered in hair made me shiver, as did the idea of being covered in muscles. So my choices were even more limited. So limited, in fact, that I only had one option left.

Grace. The angel-themed medic who could gracefully (pun intended) fly about the battlefield, dispensing healing from her caduceus staff which automatically locked on to friendlies, completely dispensing with the need for silly things like "aim". Sure, she was a girl, but it's not like that was a big deal. I played girl characters in video games all the time! And it helped that she was really pretty, and her voice was really soothing. Sure, some of my friends gave me some shit for it at first, but when they saw me try to play characters that required aiming, they were convinced she was the best fit for me.

We always played in 4 or 5 stacks, based on how many of us were online at the time, meaning having a one-trick on the squad wasn't that big of a deal, seeing as we were only getting 1 or 2 randoms on our team a match. And the rest of my friends were pretty well-rounded, so our team composition generally worked out fine. Sure, I felt a bit bad for being a onetrick of a character that was in all honesty not very strong, but it was that or not playing the game at all, and the complete social isolation that went with it. I wasn't exactly the most sociable person. Besides, on the occasion that the randoms we queued into actually joined voice chat, they would assume I was a girl based on the character I was playing, which was. Funny. Yeah, it was funny. That's what that feeling is. I never had the heart to correct them, and it would totally ruin the comedy of the situation if they stopped thinking I was a girl. Besides, my teammates would usually correct them for me, which was really thoughtful of them, even if it did ruin the joke.

One day, we queued into a 2-stack, who automatically locked in as Grace and Rockette. Rockette was another flying character, who, as the name implied, wielded a rocket launcher. Due to the synergies between them, as well as the fairly-obvious underlying romantic tension, strategies employing Grace and Rockette in tandem were fairly popular. Unfortunately, due to understandable-for-balance but annoying-for-me reasons, the game only allowed one person to play each character on a team, which meant my teammates would have to ask the Grace player, whose username was "Bridget420", to switch. I wasn't able to do it myself, on account of my crippling anxiety, low self-confidence, and general hatred of my voice.

My friend Teddy, the most confident of us, was the one to deliver the grim news. "Hey, sorry about this, but our friend is kind of a Grace one-trick, and literally cannot play any other character. 'Zit cool if you switch?"

The reply came in text chat, despite Bridget420 (probably just Bridget) being in voice chat. Though I suppose I'm not one to throw stones, seeing as I needed my friends to ask someone to switch for me. It simply said "k". This Bridget was clearly a wordsmith.

She switched to Nova, the buff, pink-haired russian tank lady. Then came an unfamiliar voice, which, judging by Bridget's seeming unwillingness to use voice chat, must have been her queuemate. And oh my gosh, that voice. It flowed like a waterfall! Why did every girl who played this game have such a pretty voice? Ok, maybe not just in this game, pretty much every girl I encountered had a voice that could make me swoon, but that didn't mean this voice wasn't an exceptional one. Also, guys weren't supposed to swoon at girl's voices, so there was definitely something wrong with me. Alright, pull yourself together, you haven't even processed what she said yet. And she's already finished talking, great, now you'll have to ask her to say it again.

Ok, it's just a message, a simple request for her to repeat herself. She won't think you're creepy, unless you for some reason were to say the reason you weren't paying attention, which you definitely shouldn't do.

grlpwerd: Hey sorry I was distracted by your voice and didn't actually notice the words you were saying please can you say that again

Wow. Literally how did I manage that. If there was a putting-foot-in-own-mouth competition I would certainly be nominated. Not that I would win, but it would be nice to be recognised nonetheless. Now this girl thinks you're a creep and she'll probably leave and your friends will get mad at you for costing them the match and- Giggling?

"Thank youuu! I was just saying that since you made Bridget switch and cost me my pocket healer, you better take responsibility and pocket me this match! It was mostly a joke though so please don't actually feel pressured to!"

Luckily I managed to actually process what she was saying that time, there was no way I could build up the courage to ask her to repeat herself again. Just because I was able to understand her this time doesn't mean I wasn't still blushing at the sound of her voice. Not that I was blushing in the first place! Anyway, since she went out of her way to repeat herself, I should probably answer her.

grlpwerd: Oh yeah absolutely. You're probably way better than my friends anyway lol

She replied in turn, this time in the text chat.

xX_MaddieSin_Xx: I hope not lol

Gosh. No. No, back up here. You cannot under any circumstances be catching feelings for this girl you just met online, who you barely know, who definitely doesn't know you.

Just as a quick aside, for posterity, my username is "grlpwerd". It's like that because one day back in like year 9 I was taking the bus back from school with a friend of mine, and he was trying to take my phone, as teen boys do, and it was on the enter password screen so in our scuffle we wrote "grlpwerd", which is a nonsense word with no meaning, and I took it as my online pseudonym because I thought it had a nice ring to it. Unfortunately, most people online misinterpret it as a shortening of "girl powered", which certainly doesn't help with the whole "people online thinking I'm a girl" thing. Unfortunately, I'm far too attached to the name to change it. Besides, some people think it's short for "girl p-word" which is hilarious.

Anyway, back to the sort-of-present. It turns out she was actually a pretty good Rockette, and had the gold damage medal for our team the whole time, which was probably helped by me damage boosting her even when we had teammates in desparate need of healing. But she asked for a pocket, so that's what she got! At one point in the match, she was perfectly lined up to get a quadruple kill with her ultimate attack, but she got picked off by the enemy Ladykiller before she could get it off. I managed to swoop in at the last second and use my resurrection ability on her, which let her get the multikill, winning us the point, maybe even the match. By the time the match ended, it had gotten pretty late, I decided to head off to bed, leaving my friends to 3-stack. When I left the queue and returned to the main menu, however, I saw a friend request waiting for me, from an account named xX_MaddieSin_Xx.

She probably just had a good time playing with me, and wants to be able to recognise me if we match up against each other again in the future. It's no big deal. Sure my chest is swelling with excitement, but it's no big deal. After I accepted, because of course I accepted, I'm not stupid, I was immediately greeted with a personal message from her.

xX_MaddieSin_Xx: Hiii! You were a really good pocket just then! I gotta go to bed now but I'd love for you pocket me again sometime :p

grlpwerd: werent you queueing with a grace main?

xX_MaddieSin_Xx: Bridget doesn't actually like playing Grace that much, something about stereotypes, but I managed to convince her to tonight since we were duoing for once

grlpwerd: oh is she swiss?

xX_MaddieSin_Xx: Haha no. Different kind of stereotype! But yeah normally I trio queue with Bridget and her girlfriend, and it makes me feel like kind of a third wheel lol

Wait. Bridget and her girlfriend? That's... So cool!! It's always cool to see lesbians out and thriving. Wait, if Maddie (presumably this girl was named Maddie) was hanging out with a pair of lesbians, would it be too much to hope that she was also gay? Wait, why would I be hoping that? Oh, yeah, because if my friends found out I was hanging out with a girl they'd try to tease me about having a girlfriend, and if she was gay I could shut their teasing down. Though despite my best efforts I do find myself increasingly into this girl, despite barely knowing her. Maybe her being gay would be a bad thing for me in that case? Aw, who am I kidding, it's not like I'd have a shot with her even if she was straight, I'm not exactly Casanova. Oh jeez. Got so lost in my own thoughts I forgot to reply to her message.

xX_MaddieSin_Xx: Not that I'm coming onto you or anything! I just meant it would be nice to have another person there!

Yeah, of course you aren't. You barely know me and even if you did, you're probably gay. And even if I was in your dating pool, which is to say a girl, I probably wouldn't even be a pretty girl.

grlpwerd: haha thats alright i didnt think you were lol

grlpwerd: but i dont really like to use vc so i doubt id be much fun to play with

xX_MaddieSin_Xx: I wouldn't be asking to play with you if I didnt think you were fun to play with, silly

grlpwerd: are you sure

grlpwerd: im sure you could find someone way better to hang out with

xX_MaddieSin_Xx: Ok that settles it

xX_MaddieSin_Xx: You're queueing with me tomorrow night

Oh. She really wanted to hang out? Look, brain, don't get too ahead of yourself. Don't overthink this. It's just queueing in a game together. If a guy was saying this stuff to you, would you think he was interested? No, so don't be misogynistic.

xX_MaddieSin_Xx: Only if thats ok with you? np if not

grlpwerd: ok... only if you're sure

xX_MaddieSin_Xx: Good girl

Oh.