According to the internet, Body Dysmorphic Disorder is defined as a mental illness involving obsessive focus on a perceived flaw in appearance. I said I'd look it up, didn't I? Apparently, people with body dysmorphia focused intensely on their appearance, checking the mirror constantly for much the same reason one would pick at a scab. That didn't sound like me at all. I tried to avoid my reflection whenever possible, since I could barely stomach it. So I guess I didn't have it, case closed. But... It also said one of the symptoms was avoiding social situations and photos, which certainly applied to me, but probably also fit like, every introverted teenage boy. Ugh. Didn't like being reminded of that. Still, I felt a weird kind of kinship with the people suffering with body dysmorphia. Like, I could empathise with feeling like shit because you don't like the way you look, feeling that there was some other way you should be, that you aren't right. For a second, I allowed myself to wonder if there were other people who felt the same as me, who had the same crushing desire to be something, someone else, but I tamped down on it quickly.

Cool, an online test for it! I'll quickly fill this out and... it says I have body dysmorphia. That doesn't sound right. I'm pretty sure I just decided I didn't. Oh well, better fill out a few more just to be certain. Ah, see. This one says I don't. I thought not. Those other five are probably all hack fraud websites anyway. Well, glad that's sorted. Now, what was I doing? Oh, yes, distracting myself so I don't have to deal with a social situation. Maybe I should look into related disorders to see if there's a name for-

"Grace! Earth to Grace! Do you read me?" Maddie's voice was playful, but loud almost to the point of discomfort.

grace:

loud and clear ma'am
what seems to be the issue

"Did you hear any of what I was just saying? You haven't typed anything for like, ten minutes." Ten minutes?? That was a long time to zone out for. I sure hoped I didn't miss anything important. But first, play it cool. Act like there was some urgent thing you had to run off and do which provides a reasonable explanation for why you weren't responding.

grace:

oh ye
sorry i got super distracted on purpose
bc i didnt wanna deal with a social situation

At this point, I really shouldn't be surprised. My hands have some kind of preternatural ability to tell the truth against my best interests. At least this one wasn't too embarrassing.

An unfamiliar laugh. "Maddie, I gotta hand it to you, this girl is really somethin'." This voice was deeper than Maddie's, but cute in its own way. It came with the shadow of an American accent, the kind that told you its owner watched too much TV as a kid. I glanced to the side of the screen, and confirmed that the voice belonged to Bridget. "Anyways, Hi, I'm Bridget. I introduced myself when I joined the call, but I assume you weren't listenin' then. She/her pronouns only please."

That's a weird thing to say. Of course the correct pronouns to use were she and her. She was a girl. Did she think I didn't understand basic grammar? I guess Maddie's habit of saying weird things that didn't make any sense was a common thread in this group.

Maddie jutted back in. "Ok, now introductions have been dealt with for the second time, are you ready to play? Bridget's already all warmed up so we can jump right into a game!"

grace:

im happy to if you two are
did i miss anything cool while i was zoned out

We started queueing up for a game. "Nothin' super important. Just me being worried about my voice, but Mads said you were cool and I figured I could always use more practice. I got super anxious when you didn't respond for a while, but it's chill now I know you were just hyperfocusin' on somethin' else." Okay, time to think of a perfect, eloquent response. Maddie knows you're insecure about your voice. She also said Bridget was insecure about her voice because she was 'like you', whatever that means. You can work with that.

grace:

your voice is really pretty tho!!!!!
but i totally understand
i feel the same way about my voice :p

That elicited a giggle from Bridget, which was a very pleasant sound. Oh dear. "Y'hear that, Mads? She thinks *my* voice is, and I quote, really pretty!"

"So? Girl's a useless lesbian, Bridge. She collapses whenever a pretty girl says anything. Watch." She paused for a second, and I heard a series of bumps which could only be a microphone being adjusted. Then, Maddie's voice, beamed directly into my ears, taking on a far huskier tone than I'd ever heard before. "Good girl." I felt my soul leave my body. I didn't just melt, I sublimated. Her voice was a blazing sun that turned me to ash. I couldn't move a muscle. Well, save for my seemingly enchanted fingers, which managed to type an extremely eloquent reply.

grace:

kshjskhskdjk
ahksjhdfkjdhs
kahuiwhfkajsfhaks
hjklfhkgdhjksa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"Maddie, I think you broke her."

"She'll be fine. She enjoyed herself!" I could hear the victorious smirk in Maddie's voice.

"She better recover pretty damn quickly, we just found a match!" Ah, yes, the match. Something I could focus on. Something I could direct my energies toward, to prevent me from thinking on the way my entire body feels beet-red. So I wouldn't have to think about the way it felt to have Maddie's voice in my ear, to think about her being that close to me in real life, which definitely wasn't made all the more real by finally having a face to put to that voice, and certainly wasn't exacerbated by thinking about her-

The game. Playing the game. Thinking about playing the game. Don't be a creep. If that display was anything to go off of, she's definitely into girls. And she's into me as a girl. Well, she thinks I'm a girl, at least. But she is into me. The person I'm pretending to be, that is. So it would be weird and creepy and manipulative and predatory of me to think of her like that, even though in the scenarios I'm imagining I'm definitely more of the prey but- . Getting off topic again. Direct your thoughts back to the game. Throw the proverbial ice bucket on your head. You've spawned in now, just focus on the game and- . Shit, I forgot to be paying attention to the conversation.

"-besides, she's probably too caught up in some private train of thought that she hasn't been paying attention to anything we said past 'good girl'." That's kind of rude of you, Maddie. True, but still rude.

grace:

hey!
i heard that!
rude!
what were u talking about though
i only caught the tail end of it

"Hah! Thank you very much for proving my point, Grace. But there's no need to worry your pretty little head about it, we were just talking about how adorable you are." How dare she? Where does she get off, calling me pretty and adorable like that? Doesn't she know that I'm a proud, strong-

grace:

shakhdjkfshkjf
bully!!!!!
I am not adorable!!!
u dont even know what i look like!!!!!

"Grace, if you want her to stop teasin', you probably shouldn't keep actin' so adorable." Bridget's voice took on a tone that I could've sworn included a wink, "Buut I'm guessin' that's not what you're after." They were lucky the game had already started, or I would've really given them what for. And we were kind of steamrolling the enemy team, so I wasn't dying at all, which meant I wasn't getting a chance to. And they didn't exactly make it easier, relentless as they were in their compliments of me. After the first round of the match had been won, I took the short break to write a minor rant.

grace:

you two are incorrigible!
ur lucky were in game or i wouldve given you what for earlier
but this is seriously unfair
i can handle maddie doing it
but you two double teaming me like this? its too much

I got the sense I had said something wrong when Maddie broke out laughing. Bridget snorted, her voice breaking and letting out a much deeper laugh than she normally had. It was cute. I felt a blush spread on my cheeks at their reactions to what I had said. Whatever it was, it was clearly very funny. I felt proud. After about a minute passed, the round had begun and the two of them regained their composure.

Maddie spoke up first. "Grace! You really caught us off guard there! I didn't know you had it in you!" Had what in me? Again, I got the feeling I was missing something. "I mean, god damn. I knew you had the hots for me but you haven't even known Bridget for an hour!"

Bridget started giggling again, her higher, practiced giggle. "It's alright, it's alright. She was clearly just ribbin' us. Giving back a little is only fair after how hard we've been goin' at her."

That elicited another laugh from Maddie. "Bridge! Don't you start doing it too!"

"I didn't mean it like that!" They had both broken out into giggles again. I felt completely clueless. Was this some in-joke I was missing out on? Conveniently, it was at that point I died in-game, so I had a chance to inquire further.

grace:
what are you laughing about???
i dont get it
whats so funny?????

"Oh my god, of course you don't. Gosh, you're precious. Mads, I see why you like this girl so much." This was frustrating. Why was it so important to these girls that my face remain red? Luckily, an exit window had presented itself in the form of my mum knocking on the door and very abruptly telling me that dinner was in 5. And of course she used my name, because why wouldn't she? I could only hope Maddie and Bridget didn't hear. The rest of the match was a thankfully clean sweep, meaning I could expeditiously extricate myself. Before I left the call, though, something peculiar happened. In the #general channel, May, who had just popped back online, sent a string of messages.

may~!:

ill be ready to hop on in 5!
godddd i have got to talk about egg classmate
i just want her to hurry up and hatch already

I guess saying weird things unprompted really was emblematic of this friend group. Where was she even coming from here? How could an egg go to school? They wouldn't even be able to get between classes!

"Oh, May was tellin' me all about her this arvo." Hearing Bridget say a classic slang word like that was jarring, given her odd accent. "Talkin' 'bout how today she seemed even more depressed than usual, and the only time she saw any light in her eyes was when she called her June." Huh. That's. A really funny coincidence. A pair of girls. Named May and June. Who share a class together. What are the odds of that. "It's really cute how much of a crush she has on that girl. Honestly, I can't wait for her to hatch either, just so I can meet her and see what all the fuss is about." Huh? But weren't the two of them dating? Wouldn't Bridget be jealous of May crushing on another girl? I decided that getting lost in my own head being confused about stuff wouldn't do any good, so decided to ask Bridget directly, back in the #voice-chat channel.

grace:
shouldnt you be jealous?
like, if shes crushing on another girl
wouldnt you be worried she could leave you?

"Ah, I see you haven't yet been introduced to the wonders of polyamory. Well then, allow me to explain." Before she could continue, my mum knocked on my door to tell me dinner was ready for real this time. I hurriedly left the call, and went to eat dinner.

grace:
ah beans sorry i gotta go for dinner like rn

When I returned, I saw that the three of them were now all in a call together. I figured it was best not to disturb them. I'd already met one new person tonight, I ought not to push my boundaries any further. At least I had another lead though. Whatever this "polyamory" stuff was, it might help me get to the bottom of why these three acted in ways I couldn't yet explain. It was a mystery to be sure, but one I was willing to solve.