Ping breathed deep as he walked down the streets once more, sorely after being released by the medics. Shaking his head to clear his muddled thoughts he pulled out his phone, grimacing at the newly for cracks in the screen. Quickly typing in his passcode he pulled up his contacts, tapping a few times to bring up his mom. Hesitating for a moment he tapped the call button.
Riiiiiing…. Riiiiing… Riiiiing…
“Hello?”
“Hey mom, how are you?”
“Good! How are you sweetie?”
Ping winced, “Uh well, I’ve been better.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I almost got hit by a truck.”
“...WHAT?!”
Ping cringed as he hurried to reassure his mom, he could have gone about this better, “I’m fine! I’m fine, I got out of the way in time, the ambulance people cleared me not to long ago.”
Ping’s mom breathed a sigh of relief, “You can’t worry me like that Ping! My heart can’t take much more of this!”
Ping smiled to himself, “Sorry mom, I’m perfectly ok I swear I just got a couple scratches really.”
Ping heard his mom huff, “Don’t let it happen again.”
Ping rolled his eyes fondly, “I’ll certainly try.”
“Love you sweetie.”
“Love you to mom.”
“Anyways how was your date with Basil?”
Ping gulped feeling his face heat up, “Oh haha look at that your-- br—Ing-- up.”
“Ping, no.”
“Byyyyyyyyye!”
“PING!”
Ping cut the line, face hot. “Please someone hit me with a truck.” Ping prayed cringing from the embarrassment as he hid he face in his hands. His mom was wayyyyy to interested in his love life.
VrroooooOOOOOOOMM
Ping looked up in alarm. Eyes wide.
“IT WAS A JOKE--”
CRASH!!!
For the third time the world went black.
--------------
Ping landed on his back, legs pulled up to his chest, head tucked in, and arms spread out to brake his fall.
“Aw what the hell…” He muttered to himself, blinking his eyes open as he sat up. “It’s you!”
The man across from him raised his eyebrow, “Quite.” He agreed.
Ping stared blankly for a few moments longer. “...smash.” he muttered under his breath.
The emperor stared him down, Ping however, has no fear of god nor care for his own life.
“So uh, who the fuck are you?” Ping asked as he got onto his feet. Using this time to observe his surroundings, “Is that a furry?”
Ping squinted at the site of seven foot tall wolf like people hold large spears standing not far off. The furries stared back.
“What this a furry?” The emperor questioned, glaring down at Ping.
“Uh…” Warning sirens went off in the back of Ping’s mind as he contemplated explaining furries and by extension, probably also the internet to this unnaturally attractive guy or simply throwing himself out the nearest window… again.
Ping choose the window
clickclickclick clickclickclicklclicklclick!!
“Huh, its locked.” Ping surmised stepping away from the window.
“Yes, after your last escapade we locked the windows--”
CRRASHHH!!!!!!!
The glass shattered.
Ping had chucked a table at the window.
The window that had not, in fact, been reinforced.
“WHAT THE--”
“THAT’S NOT--”
“GET BACK HERE!!!!!”
Ping jumped out of a window for the second time in an hour, plummeting to what would probably be certain death. That is if Ping was subscribed to the laws of physicals and biology. Which, apparently, he was not.
Damn, sure hope I don’t actually die from this. Ping mused as braced himself for a hard landing.
--------------
Ping felt his feet hit the concrete, followed by this forearms and hands, successfully braking his fall without braking his limbs. A great success. Ping recovered quickly significantly less thrown off than the first time. Popping back onto his feet he took a quick look around spotting nothing and no one that hadn’t been there before he almost got murdered by a truck for the second time.
“What the actually fuck just happened?” Ping backed away, quickly turning on his heel and aggressively power walking away. “Nope nope nope nope nope.” An idea, Ping didn’t have many of those, “I’m being hunted down by a murder truck?”
A second idea hit him, “Am I immortal?” He stared down at his hands, amazed.
His amazement was quickly cut off by the glaring bright lights flooded his vision. “Aw, fuck me.”
CRAAASH!!!!
--------------
“You couldn’t have waited ten minutes.” Ping groaned from his spot on the marble tiled ground. “Why am I even here anyway?”
“Ping Winfield, you are here today to fill the your part of the deal made on October 7th 2001.” A deep booming voice announced as Ping was hoisted onto his feet by a pair of ridiculously strong arms.
Ping’s brows furrowed as he did quick mental math, “… I was five.” He concluded as he stared down the tall man standing beside the emperor reading from a scroll.
“Yes and the deal made on--”
“Who the fuck decided making a deal with a five year old was a good idea? That sounds illegal, I was a literal toddler. Did I even know how to talk at that point?”
All eyes turned briefly to the blue haired man sitting on a throne.
“… As I was saying--”
“I don’t even remember this!”
“WOULD YOU BE QUITE?!” The man snapped.
Ping’s mouth snapped shut.
“… The deal--”
Ping ripped his arms away from the guards, their grip becoming slack as payed attention to the unfolding situation rather than their prisoner.
“BYE!!!” He called sprinting across the room away from the emperor and his subjects, ducking and dodging grasping arms as he ran. His shoulder collided with the door as his hand moved to turn the handle leading to him barreling through the heavy wood door. His feet thudding as he rushed to the stairs chucking himself across the spindles and down… down... down... down… d o w n . . .
--------------
Ping tumbled onto the street rolling to a stop. His head swiveled around as he took in his surroundings. Hopping to his feet he took off running. “Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!” His legs burned as he rounded the corner to his apartment building busting in.
“Mr. Winfield--”
“Hi Mrs. Johnson!” He called behind him as he dashed passed her and up the stairs.
“MR. WINFIELD!” She called once more.
Ping ignored her, pulling out his keys and jamming them into the key hole opening the door in moments. Shutting the door behind him he quickly locked it, pressing his back against the door as he slid down it, the adrenaline slowing flowing out of his system.
“What did I do when I was five?” He whispered to himself, mildly horrified.
--------------
“...Your majesty--”
“Not another word.” The emperor hissed standing up from his throne to his full height. “Try again in the morning, I will be off to bed now. Next time LOCK THE DOORS.” he commanded, magic swirling and rolling off his body in malicious waves curling around the emperor, the promise of harm to anyone who dared cross him at that moment.
“Yes, your majesty.”
