Chapter Theme Music: Crystal Skies ~ Nigel Stanford
Chapter Theme Mix B: Dance of Statues ~ G.B. Draghi(Reconstructed by Peter Holman) (Locke: Psyche)
Chapter Theme Mix C: Dance of the Elizian Princes ~ G.B. Draghi(Reconstructed by Peter Holman) (Locke: Psyche)
<02/02/2019 - 21:33 | Link Street (Park), Marietta, GA, USA>
Planning out some of the most amazing dates in advance is something I've gotten good at over the years. Though I don't mention it too often, not everything goes according to plan. As things stand now, where I'm able to go, what I'm able to do becomes limited entirely by lack of transportation, or more specifically, lack of funding. Even knowing this in advance, it didn't stop the both of us from getting our hopes so high for what we had long looked forward to, and it was the reason now why Lumina was letting lose a fit.
"That sucks! There must be something you can do. I really wanted to go there!" As we could clearly tell, her tantrum was akin to that of a child.
But it was actually a little surprising to me. Normally, if ever a planned date gets canceled, moved, or changed around, annoying and sad as it is, Lumina silently mopes while I lean further into a bad mood for the day. Even when there are circumstances outside of our control, ultimately, whether or not Lumina gets to have any fun at all on these dates or adventures is entirely up to me, and it's not that way because I want it to be.
Even if I suddenly get the chance to leave the state or go somewhere cool, there's another, often stronger chance that Lumina won't be able to tag along for it, usually due to the weather on my end and the negative properties of telepathy. Imagine all that there is to see and experience in this world. Now remember all there is to experience and see in her world, compared to mine. Lumina has already seen plenty of Karnak, according to her, and it's not as if she ever gets much of a chance to land there and run her legs through the snow. In her world, it's often boring, being trapped on the same starship year after year. If Lumina wants to become part of any field trip, any sightseeing, any unique fun or entertainment, or even a classy date, all in the presence of earth, the presence of me, it is only possible when I'm to act as her medium, her node to experience it all.
I could go anywhere in this world, do anything I want, whether or not I get the chance to show Lumina the same journey. However, she does not have the same freedom as I. Many times I've understood this and felt so bad for her, even though she assured me it was okay given all that I do. I make sure to involve her into almost every aspect of my life, down to the last detail, and all without thinking about it anymore. I've since learned that even if we see a horrible movie or a date somehow gets ruined, she's still happy with such a day, because what she looks forward to most is spending so much time with me. It isn't always easy being someone's entire world, but Lumina has always remained patient and passive whenever a hiccup occurs here and there.
Therefore, this small amount of outspoken defiance and upset blew my eyes wide open; it's really a first. I knew it was going to upset her. Hell, I'm not even over the bad news myself. I'm still fully pissed off that I can't go to Biltmore like I planned it. I won't be able to go there at all, simply because I still don't have a car (purposefully to avoid too many expenses at the moment), and also because I don't have the thousands of dollars it would cost to Uber there or partly Uber there while hopping flights and such, along with the outrageous hotel night and all.
"I know Lumina, and I'm sorry. Don't forget I'm every bit as upset about this as you are." For literally a whole month now, after getting into a strange mood of loving and absorbing so much culture of the Victorian era, I discovered a place called Biltmore in an accidental search, later to find the ads and plenty more. I've since been planning a trip all the way over there with Lumina in tow, a winter moment we can share for three days and three nights. When I showed her this place online and what it had to offer, she was thrilled to be part of the experience, even though I warned her I wasn't sure if I could make the trip work out. When I showed her the costume I planned to arrive there in, well, let's just say we both found a new level of spirit to cling onto.
It isn't something totally new, nor is it some passing phase. Since as long as I can remember, many things about the Victorian time period fascinated me, and still does to this day. Times were very different in the 1800's. Sure, there was the total lack of technology, less complete medical science, and plenty of issues with personal freedoms on small and large scales, depending on location. It doesn't mean that time period was totally forfeit.
One aspect I love about this time period is much of the artwork. I'm not talking solely about paintings and such, but every visual aspect about the world during the time. Many interior housing designs, decoration styles, and especially the fashion and clothing people wore, while likely uncomfortable, is all something I wish would have stayed forever. Some of the outfits people wore back then, especially the rich class in the estates, ohohoho!
Nobility and attention to 'scholars' was also very important to most back in that time period. People, mostly knights, nobles, and sages, had an exceptional level of honor and integrity within them, especially in the way they spoke the language, something that can seldom be said on modern society and culture. I wasn't as sure about it back then, but I am now; if I were to be born and brought up in the 1800's instead of our current era, I would have fit in very well, and likely ascended very quickly given how much I can focus on aspects of life. It would have been an amazing life, one where I could wear something besides a crappy T-shirt and jeans, sipping tea at a delicate decorated table, sharing stories or rumored gossip to others in leisure, rising the ranks by performing favors for others instead of tossing around slop over a deep fryer for cash, getting attention from others using my stellar writing skills in means other than just fictional entertainment, and perhaps becoming influential in manners that would benefit as many people as possible, peacefully of course.
Maybe it's not that simple or realistic to think of it that way, but I just can't help myself. I love nearly everything about that era, right down to the exact dialect. It's got me to read specific books that have a sense or feel to this frame of window, and it's also got me interested in trying on special outfits that carry the same theme level, basically cosplay.
I'm really not lying when I said I planned to not only go to Biltmore, but also to show up there looking the part, dressing like a nobleman, or in my case, possibly a retired French Army man. I'm sure if I were to make it there, I'd be the only guest looking like that, probably getting laughed at by others, though of course I also don't care. That's my dedication level to all of this.
I showed Lumina the outfit in a mirror the other day, unwilling to hide the surprise and excitement from her... Yeah, she laughed for bit, but soon after, she complimented how well I pulled it off for hours on end, begging me to show her again and again. I don't know how, but the cosplay, this specific one anyway, grew on her quickly. Part of this experience was feeding into the present moment, at least, until it all came crashing down into a new level of despair.
"How long must I wait in life to go to such an extravagant place of perfection?" There's those slogan lines I knew she would guilt me with sooner or later.
"It isn't my fault Lumina. I promise you, I really tried to get us there from every possible angle. Unless you want me to hitchhike and risk me getting kidnapped, it just isn't going to happen." The expense of the transportation is oddly the biggest one of them all, right next to the hotel cost. Of course, I knew in advance my parents would never-ever act as my transportation and get me there either. Although, I wasn't too thrilled about the prospect of them accepting that offer either. The reason for that is, unlike before, if they did take me to Biltmore, given what would happen there, I wouldn't be able to hide the elements of Lumina's presence as easily as before. If anyone, family or friend acts as the guide to get me to and back from Biltmore, tagging along, they would in the same instance realize something about me is off. Hiding Lumina in the instance wouldn't be possible unless I were to skip the outfit and mute my emotional projections, which I already decided I would refuse doing anyway...
Maybe today isn't the day to finally tell my parents about Lumina, but I get the feeling I won't be able to avoid it forever. Even so, both sides of my family have a few money problems, and going to North Carolina is already very far from where I'm at now. Biltmore would have been especially classy too, an estate open to the public. However, no matter what I try, I can't get the means of cheap transportation there in the time frame. It would have to be during this winter too, not just any time at random. If I can't bring Lumina along, even for a cost of zero dollars would I refuse to go at all.
"What are we supposed to do then?"
"We'll try for Biltmore another day, when I have a car. In the meantime, I'll just come up with a different way to spend time together."
"..."
"You okay with that?"
"Yeah, great. I still can't believe Biltmore is ruined."
As I stated before, I know exactly why Lumina is this upset. Have you ever gotten your hopes up for something before, risen so high that no unrelated bad news could affect you, only then for something to swoop in and eliminate what you were hoping for? It's a devastation we're all familiar with. In her case, despite my warning to her that this moment was a possibility, she ignored it entirely and put all of her spirits into a dependency shaken down by a paywall.
We were both blinded by our own excitement to this vacation, a disheartening reminder about the way the world really works. I was already an hour beyond my own ranting and venting, just in the process of explaining it all to her, and now I suppose Lumina was up for the same response. We felt the same way, but I've had more time to calm down from it all, which is why I was managing to keep my cool and do what I could to turn this around. "Don't get all bent out of shape. Amazing as that place is, it is still just a good vacation at the end of things; it isn't everything."
"I know, but—"
"Look at me." My soft command followed my eyes, trailing the front end of the same outfit I mentioned earlier. "I still have the costume, and I don't need some estate as a single-use excuse to get my money's worth out of this thing. If you and I can't go to Biltmore, maybe we can do something else instead, something similar enough."
"Like what exactly?" Still ever so doubtful, Lumina waited tensely for my response.
"Perhaps a picnic is in order. I doubt I would be able to find some random ball I could go to for a dance in such elegance, at least in this crap town. But, if I can't find a good place nearby to spend time with you, I'll just have to invent one instead. If I throw a picnic, I should be able to see if I can bring some kind of discount assets with me, making it look like an elegant tea party, or something." I was inspecific on purpose, since I owned no such assets, but also since I didn't have the exact ideal location in mind to throw a picnic, though I knew I could research it later.
"A private picnic, just you and me?"
"Yeah. See, this way, I can still take steps to make it look and feel as elegant as I'm going for, to really bring out more of the Victorian era in us both." I could tell from our link alone, that as I was pitching this Plan B, Lumina's frustration was already being replaced with eye warming solace, not from the idea of the picnic, but to the fact that I would even go as far to ensure we would spend such time together no matter what. Of course, I have to be thankful to myself as well, especially to such speed my background thought processes have. All during my ranting, some of my background thoughts were going off in tangents to rectify the situation somehow, some alternate activity I would enjoy instead.
"Hm..." I could hear Lumina breathing pretty strongly in her wait to consider my words, breathing this way because she was literally on the verge of a full meltdown. Even as she was accepting the idea now, it made me remember just how important spending so much focused time with me meant to her. "It's okay I guess... But you have to wear that outfit. I require it."
"Fine, but you better wear something nice too."
"No fair! We don't have clothes we can wear up here, silly."
"Right, I knew that." I didn't give it much thought before, so I must have forgotten about that fact so quickly. I wonder if me wearing these outfits makes her jealous, since the Altiri have no clothes they can try on or wear. Unless an asteroid of yarn crash-lands their planet, I think the closest they're ever going to get to wearing clothes is a dress they can sculpt out of solid ice, and I get the feeling a frozen dress would not be as comfortable. I need not the reminder that, despite this fact, none of the Altiri are technically nude either, at least not by default.
"Sure you did... Do you promise you'll spend the entire day with me then, when we do the picnic?"
She's already declaring it into doctrine, the picnic not even optional anymore. "I promise. It will be a moment for just you and me... You really adore every second spent with me, don't you?" I knew I didn't need to ask, but it was still strange seeing her this way. Of course, I'm no different most times. The long summers especially remind me just how horrible and empty life can feel without her voice, without her words, without her presence. There are days when I'm so relaxed with her that I take the moment for granted and play everything by ear. Then there are other days, where I need to inhale every second of time shared with Lumina just to survive without a panic attack. I wonder if Lumina is having one of those days right now.
"Why would you ever think I wouldn't Reed? Every second I spend with you means the world to me... Even now, instead of staying pissed off about the news, you're trying to make me feel better instead, and it's working, just as you intended."
She doesn't realize that I don't always plan things out that far ahead. Though, I always strive to have a backup plan for anything. I've learned to be this way about every aspect of my life, mainly as a means to avoid ever being in a situation where a UAD attack could trigger. "Listen. If all you want to do is spend time with me that badly, you don't have to squirm around me to do so. Just say the word Lumina, and I'll do whatever you want. I'm not always going to have a proper date for us even when I try; it's harder than you think to rig one to work out so well, to recreate those magical moments we sometimes have."
"You don't have to revive the past to—"
"I know that, though that isn't what I meant anyway. Wahsega, the aquarium, Six Flags, the go-kart place, Atlanta, all of it! It's not that I'm trying to relive a moment in the past when I'm with you. It's just, there are moments we sometimes have, incredible moments that are so romantic we could melt into each other, or moments where you and I understand each other so much that we literally bleed our senses together, or mental synch as we call it. Some of these moments together with you just feel magical, something that can't be created from half-assing anything. I still want to try to make more of these moment with you. Even if I try and fail, I'm going to keep going at it until you feel like you're the most special girl in the entire world."
"I already do," She whispered through a sniffle, rubbing her eyes from tears of love we weren't expecting tonight. "Knowing you, purging you, and marrying you made me feel more special than you'll ever know. I love you that much Reed."
It's not that I doubted her or anything, but after what she said, or rather the sincerity of her voice, she left me breathless for a decent few seconds. I've been with Lumina for many years now, so I've never had any doubts about how much she loves me and how much I love her. Even so, it's moments like these which remind me just how deep this love can go, swallowing every inch of our surrounding, to show us a sensation beyond infinity and doubt. At last, for the first time today, I could let myself smile again, all thanks to her words. "In that case, I have nothing to worry about. If I'm able to make you that happy, then I'll be happy too."
Our words together might not always sound deep as we mean them to, but it was a moment like this one, born from perfect honesty and harmony between us that made this short moment magical as I wanted to. This would actually happen often between us. When Lumina and I call each other to go on a long walk and talk, we quickly run out of general news to talk about. Even so, we still try, forcing ourselves to communicate with each other further. So, instead of giving each other updates about the happenings in our lives, we start from any random point, deliver our thoughts, and expand on those thoughts further.
The cycle repeats itself, until there isn't a hint of missing information or misunderstanding between each other. What could begin as a joke to a particular life style could slowly evolve into a three-hour discussion about the benefits, downsides, and reasons for such a life style. The mentality however applies to every aspect of our words, our emotions, our love; all of it. For this reason, because we can talk to each other for hours on end, delving deep into ourselves in the process, Lumina and I are most often in synch after enough time, and it's the reason why we hear each other so well. We spend so much time being deep about every little thing now, that there isn't a single part of each other we don't comprehend anymore, even though there are moments where we might forget who we are for a while.
All of this and more is the reason I can look deep into Lumina's eyes, and fully synchronize what she feels with myself, the connection between us far more involved than mere telepathy and words. It's the reason we understand each other so well, the reason we no longer get into any fights, the reason we can be on the same page so often, and the reason we can both make each other cry tears of bliss.
"Oh? So happy that you'd go shopping in that outfit if I told you to?"
"W— well..." Crap! I got Lumina all chipper now, but I didn't think she would still want the joy of humiliating me... Still, in this outfit, though I'm sure people in a Walmart would point and laugh at me for wearing this, should I really be ashamed of it? Thinking on it some more briefly reminded me of that one guy with his channel, Shadiversity. That guy is passionate about every aspect of the medieval era, especially when it comes to his favorite suit of brigandine armor. I remember so well because, the first time I saw the channel, I too laughed like an idiot at the cringe I projected onto him, but before long, I wound up eating my own words, watching countless hours and becoming absorbed in the interest of the era. It doesn't matter how different people are and what they can nerd their way into; we like what we like. There certainly isn't any law prohibiting me from wearing something from the 1800's to a Walmart, even if only for Lumina's entertainment. Therefore, "Fine, I'll do it."
"You mean it? Seriously?!" She was about to choke on her own excitement.
"Yeah. I'll wear it to the store, see what happens." I already know what will happen, and how likely it will be that Lumina will fall to the floor laughing uncontrollably. Even so, this is a humiliation I must get over. For one, there isn't anything wrong with expressing how much I like about this outfit or the prestigious and honorable aspects of a time once forgotten by most. Also, I kind of owe it to Lumina for how poorly this month has gone. It's as if she has already forgotten her sadness entirely. Even if it expends my sanity a little, I'll be here for her.
"Haha! Onward, count of the royal estate!"
"No way," I argued adamantly. "There's no way I would be a count. Those guys are just, stuck up and bad luck... To this day forth," I hollered aloud in the night, "I shall be regarded as the elegant nobleman of the south! I shall ask once for your hand of guidance, as we attend the stuck-up marketplace unified in our quest for sustenance. What say you, fine dame?"
Laughing some more, Lumina actually allowed herself to get into it some more, though I was simply glad to be here at the park all by myself. If anyone else were here right now, the cringe could still kill me at this stage. "I shall address you as Reed, nobleman of the south. Forsooth, I will standby, waiting for your congregation of a formal tea party, for may we dine in a perfect place of serene, elegant fashion."
Yeah, as if anyone would dine with us.
"What was that?"
"Eh, nothing Lumina." I didn't mean for that to slip out, but am I wrong to think that? I know she wasn't serious, but hell, if anyone would ever join a real tea party as I planned it in my mind, with a couple of idiots like us, I'd be so shocked that my brain would break.
"The nobleman disappoints. Such crude dialect and lack of faith in our tea party should only be met with dismissal or disdain. Should I look forward to the festivities, when one lacks the veneration they hath displayed before me?"
"Are you making fun of me?" It's hard to tell sometimes. I'm actually surprised Lumina of all people can speak the ancient dialect so well; actually...
"Nay, you jest young nobleman. Resurrect your forgotten honor and the glee discovered in holding this tea party together with your betrothed. I beg of thee."
She actually isn't kidding, nor is she doing a poor job of speaking so refined. It was only now that I could suspect the reason why. Lumina has had so much time to watch and listen to humanity as our race grew up over thousands of years. Surely has she been exposed to the culture of the Victorian era on her own, including the language. It's actually impressive, and inspiring. "I offer thee my humblest apologies, and also my gratitude. Should I fail to behave in a manner suited myself, I can count on your unwavering willingness to forestall my balance and pride. In reparation, I offer to you a request to dance. May we?" I could get into it just as much as she was doing, and I've recently seen how some of the people of this era would dance too. Even here at the park by myself, I'm too fully immersed in this new setting and world we've helped create together, and there could be no further joy, than sharing the skill of an elegant dance with my beloved.
"Certainly, though only on the condition in which you will uphold your promise, and reveal to the others your formal choice of attire."
"Curses!"
