Soon I will be editing Chapter 9, the sex scene, into something more in the tone of the rest of the content. So look forward to that, or... backward. Whatever. See you at the end of the chapter.
A gust of wind swept into the clearing. From above a bone chilling anger had me shivering, goosebumps rolled over my whole body. Mara and Ingrid jumped down. The wind turned sharp and it gathered on her blades, and her eyes burned with a green fire, a bell seemed to sound as she used some type of power. She rushed in, ready to kill the Fox that was busy eating my innards, or at least that is what they had assumed watching on from the sky.
“Hey! I finished the Quest girls. Thanks for coming to save me.” I held out a hand and said.
Ingrid tripped on herself and ate a face full of dirt. Mara had already stopped, she was beat red. ‘Her power of foresight at play.’ Frey giggled out little Frey’s, the cutest thing ever to hear in real life, just like the anime. (You know what I’m talking about.)
“MYGOU! PTEW! Gabtur’d e’?” Ingrid spat the dirt she just crunched on. ‘Yummy.’
“She meant to say. You captured her?” Mara shook her head, half to mock Ingrid, and half to shake away her embarrassment and regain her regal façade.
“I did. I bonded with her as well. I am now maxed out at Four slots. Which I think is more than enough. Though one day I wish to get to six I think. It’s only appropriate.”
“How so?” Ingrid said, finally having cleaned her mouth and tongue, which seemed tough, for she had that rough spike like texture that came with feline and lupine tongues.
“It’s a reference to my world. Maybe we’ll go and watch it some day.” I had gotten up at that point. Only to realize I was still naked. “HOLY FUCK!” I screamed like a little girl and hurried to my pants. I turned away from them, giving them a view of the full moon, pale as can be, and rushed to put them on.
“Safe.” I sighed.
“We saw it all.” Ingrid.
“True.” Mara
“Frey~” Frey with a coy smile.
“They did.” Temesia.
“Guh. A four way attack. I’m dying.” I placed a wrist on my forehead and fell to my knees. “Woe is me.” I added and stood back up, joke was over. “What do you say, shall we go back for that reward? Then to the Guild for a new room and some good sleep? Oh, and Good food. My treat.”
They all nodded and we made our way back, on foot. The night was long, and there was no reason to burden Frey with four of us, though she could probably handle it no problem.
I went for a moment close to Temesia and said in a whisper. “Scratch that last thing happiness and me having reached the pinnacle. I guess infinity is the limit. Did you see Mara?” I giggled and she giggled and the other Guai looked to me, but I did not answer their unasked questions. Maybe in the future. I whistled out a tune with my hands up and behind my head. My wounds and scars forgotten, in fact, they had al healed. Even those she hadn’t placed her magical forest honey on. Which was indeed something to be coveted and I understand how a war could break out over it. As a last act of Egoism, I looked at my status, even though they didn’t call it this, I did, so. *Shrug*
Aether System
Name: Andras
Tier 1
Bonded Guai: 4/4
Titles: Otherworlder (2)
Perks:
Talents:
Attributes
Explosiveness: B- (!)
Mass: D-
Dexterity: C (!)
Tenacity: C+ (!)
Proprioception: A+
Focus: B-
Intent: S+ (!)
Impact: C+ (!)
Bonded Guai
Ingrid: Body Type - Fighting, Smithing - Tier 4 - Bond: Certainty
Mara: Nature & Mental Type - Wind, Foresight - Tier 6 - Bond: Worried Acceptance
Frey: Earth & Body Type - Steel, Blood - Tier 20 - Bond: Setting the Foundations
Temesia: Destruction & Action Type - Pyromancy, Sharpness, Seduction - Tier 12 - Bond: Healthy Dependence
******
We were back at the Palisade of Blue-Leaf village before the night was over. Two moons were now left in the sky. Gorgo, had already left, and her pale orange light fell upon the world no longer.
There were others at the hole left in the palisade, waiting, torches burning. Trainers with their Own Guai talking over what to do, with themselves, Old Crocket, and the Village chief himself.
We had decided to avoid all that hassle, having completed the mission and knowing that no danger would befall this farm any longer, we jumped over the fence half a kilometer away and strode onto our room at the second floor of the barn.
I let the Girls talk things out amongst each other, and fell asleep on a bed of hay covered by a single blanket, leaving the beds to them.
{COckoriKOO!!!} A Thousand roosters cried to the suns at the first sight of dawn, and I shot off up from my hay bed. My eyes twitched a bit in fear and anger at the overly unwelcome greeting. Though soon I mellowed down when I noticed that Temesia was wrapped around me, naked as the day she was born, again, her breasts smothering one of my arms, her legs wrapped around my own, her tails supporting my head and waist. ‘What a heavenly feeling.’
“No wonder I had such good sleep on a stack of hay.” I mumbled and she then seemed to wake, again, in the cutest way possible. Rubbing her two eyes and yawning with her cute little mouth. I gave her a peck and took her by surprise before ruffling the hair in between her two ears. In the light of day she looked just as stunning. Her raven black hair shone with life, the white tips of her every tail as resplendent as a pearl, and her eyes of deep blue could make one drawl and stare. Not to mention all her other assets and curves.
I woke the rest of them up, sending greetings though our bond, being as gentle with the messaging as I could. It was time to get that money. Down below I could hear Old Crocket waking up. I decided to wait for him to leave before coming down. I fixed up a little bit of breakfast for all of us, an option open to me in all of Old Crocket’s graciousness, yesterday upon our walk through his farm.
We then got Clothed, somewhat for I still had no real shirt, and we also needed to make Temesia wear something. “Ready to be out of this place?” Four nods confirmed. We walked out of the house and went to find the farmer himself. The other two Trainers where already there with him. It seemed they had stayed awake all night, patrolling the farm for any signs.
“Mister Crocket. Finally I find you.” I called out to him from a bit of a distance. I waved my hand, wide and at ease.
“Andras. You’re alive? I thought you a real goner.” The tree of a man came up to me and shook my hand.
“It was a hell of a Quest Sir. I almost lost my life, but I managed to Capture the culprit. Your farm will be safe from now on.”
Temesia had the clarity of mind to not look up at the farmer, she stared down as if guilty. This situation was always going to be iffy. When thinking of adventuring, and questing. The monster always dies, and the aggrieved usually have to deal with its corpse, not the living thing. ‘I wonder how they do this in times when real harm has been done, family members killed and such.’
“Well done young man! Excellent work. Not only did you not die, you even went as far as to Capture her for me. On the first night as well. Excellent work!” He pushed me aside and reached out to her. She gasped and stepped back.
I rushed and stepped in front of him. A smile still on my face, but it was failing.
“I Captured her, for you? The Quest said nothing of that sort. Besides, what could you possibly do with a Fox Guai in a Chicken farm?” Temesia stepped further back, behind Mara, Ingrid, and Frey as well.
“That was always the goal, and it is usual practice. I just didn’t expect any beginner trainer to be able to Capture her, so I didn’t type it up in the Quest, it costs extra for such things. Tell me, what Tier is she? No wait don’t I want to see when I bond with her. Sell her to me. I’ll buy her for 500 Feds.”
“WHAT!?” The other two trainers shouted in Unison. “Old Crocket. Why didn’t you state that Price in the Quest listing. You’d have been flooded with Trainers. That is FairyCo pricing levels.” One of them continued, he looked not only dirty, but also tired, and he was the most hurt by this ridiculous price tag placed on Temesia, he’d probably made some decisions that brought him late to the Village, he regretted those.
“Sorry, Mister Crocket, but the Clerk at the Guild told me to Capture her, and bring her there, that is What I plan to do. I promised after all.”
“I expected that, why else would you capture her? But the Guild would never give you such money. 100 Feds at best is what you’ll get.”
“I see. Despite that. As I’ve said and as you’ve found out today. I am a man of my word. I can’t sell her to you Mister Crocket. Not for 500 Feds, No-!”
“1000! You drive a hard bargain but I like a businessman, we’re of the same kind us two.” He grabbed onto my shoulder, and I felt my feet buckle a bit. “I want her Andras. I’ll have her for any price. She shall pay the cost of messing with me by bearing me new Guai, who will protect my farm from any and all danger so that I Don’t have to deal with the Guild again. Self sufficiency is my dream, you see. Ever since I was little.”
“I see. I have a dream as well. I can understand how intense your drive for it must be. But there must be a better, cheaper way. There are so many more Guai you can buy. This one is off limits. I’ve bonded with her.”
“Nay, I want this one. Break that bond of yours.” He looked at me with a fiery intensity.
“Break the bond? That’s…” One of the trainers said.
“Too much of an ask.” The other finished.
“You can’t have her.” I already knew at this point, that Old Crocket had gone off his rocker and things were about to go down, but I held onto hope.
“Well I’ll get her myself.” He pushed forth and stretched his hand for Temesia.
“Don’t you lay a hand on her!” I grabbed at his arm and he turned around. “Don’t use that tone with me!” He said, too caught up in his ego to notice my fist that was already in his face. I sent my knuckles into his mouth, and he staggered back. I could barely reach him, and I had never thrown a punch in my life, but Attributes did not lie. I jumped and grabbed at his beard and brought him down by kicking him in his fat belly. He bowed down to me and I slammed my knee in his face. His nose broke to a flood of blood, which splattered over the earth, and onto my clothes.
“HOW DARE YOU!” He screamed and spread his arms to get me. Temesia was already there, she spun on herself, her head just inches from the ground, and brought down her tails with a great plume of fire onto Crocket’s back. He spewed out vomit and blood and smacked the ground on top of his elbow, which cracked under his own weight. “GAH! AGH! MY ARM!” He hollered, the other Trainers rushed to his side.
I stood stock still. Staring down at him and the trainers too. Frey screeched and unfurled her wings, they shone in sharp a glimmer, heavy feathers of steel and not cartilage. She was stronger than any single Guai these other F Rank Trainers could have, with their singular Guai. They could do nothing.
“I told you, I bonded with her already, you slimy fuck. But you and your inflated Ego did not want to listen. Go die in a fire for all I care.” I said and spat on the ground before turning around. We passed through his barn and took some food with us before taking the short way home. We passed through the Village center. Some looked at us with fear, only from a distance, while others thanked us silently. The children remained uncaring and ignorant of the world of the grown ups and gave us farewells and smiles like it was any other day. I thank them for that.
Before long we were on the path home. “Sorry I let things get so out of hand. If I was stronger, he’d have treated us better for sure.”
“Don’t worry about it, Darling.” Temesia said. Those words alone healed my aching fist, and trembling heart. “You went above and beyond. No other human would ever do that for me. To mess with their Client. About the strength part. You should have be able to Advance to Tier 2 the moment you decide to do it, all it takes is a bit of meditation.”
“Right… What exactly did I do? By punching him, I mean.” Temesia did not know how to answer, our eyes fell upon Mara.
“First, I’d like to say you did good. I support your choice, all your choices and actions during this Quest. Secondly, You will be penalized. Maybe you’ll be punished with taking a few unwanted Quests, on top of owing the Farmer compensation, you may even be forbidden from entering the training facilities for a while. The Client is the Master in this relationship. Trainers may have many privileges, and against other trainers they are allowed to go wild, but against the common man? There are consequences for one’s actions.”
“Very well. I care little for it. What’s been done has been done and I don’t regret it one bit. I haven’t punched a man before, but if all of them are going to be as hideous as Crocket, then I should get used to it. Will We face punishment as soon as we get back?”
“We should see the letter carrier go past us if we’re too tardy.” Mara both assured me and put a fire on my ass with that single sentence.
“How about we take this chance to toughen me up? If you have nothing against it.”
They didn’t, of course. So we decided to jog the rest of the way to Pristine City. It was a trip of 20 kilometers and more. I’d never run so much in my life. Yet as one hour passed, it felt easier than I thought. At the two hour mark I was struggling, but not more than I expected. Three hours in my legs were burning but my lungs had a steady income of air and my blood was pumped full of oxygen. I didn’t know I could do this, and I probably wouldn’t be able to if not for all the Attribute upgrades over the past few days thanks to all my new Guai Bonds. Nonetheless, I’d never felt so fulfilled in my life, no matter how hard I tried at studying, or at fixing my trauma. Having flings, downing drinks, acing tests. They could never match this euphoria.
As we reached the city on hour four. I stopped the jog, and as I caught my breath, sweating buckets and sucking the soul out of my water sack, I checked my Status. It was about time for another Dopamine boost.
Aether System
Name: Andras
Tier 1
Bonded Guai: 4/4
Titles: Otherworlder (2)
Perks:
Talents:
Attributes
Explosiveness: B-
Mass: D-
Dexterity: C
Tenacity: B- (!)
Proprioception: A+
Focus: B-
Intent: S+
Impact: B- (!)
Bonded Guai
Ingrid: Body Type - Fighting, Smithing - Tier 4 - Bond: Budding Passion
Mara: Nature & Mental Type - Wind, Foresight - Tier 6 - Bond: Worried Acceptance
Frey: Earth & Body Type - Steel, Blood - Tier 20 - Bond: Awaiting Eagerly
Temesia: Destruction & Action Type - Pyromancy, Sharpness, Seduction - Tier 12 - Bond: Enamored
‘Oh! Yeah~~ That’s the stuff. This is what it’s all about.’ I moaned in my head. Don’t judge. You wouldn’t be able to resist either.
well retribution was needed shame it will be punished
I would have liked some more information of what is at stake here. What are the consequences of hurting a client (or what does Andres think they are)? Also, why was the client so eager to pick a fight he had to know he was outmatched? I found it difficult to evaluate if those actions were reasonable or what they say about the characters because of it.
Aside from the critique, I find the way you present the character-data pretty good, most litrpgs have a lot of bloat in that regard (I think you could have gotten away with even less attribues though). I have yet to read a litrpg where I thought stats really mattered aside from being a very rough estimate of fighting level (or some specific circumstances where the author explicitly calls out one stat, which always feels forced), so I like the clean presentation.
I thank you for the comment, and appreciate your questions, and seriousness. This is not going to be an argument, I understand that these where your thoughts when reading this chapter.
I think I'll just touch upon a few things in my reply, because I feel you deserve one, and not just a thank you.
I believe that the fact that I hadn't talked about this beforehand was necessarily a showcase of bad writing, nor a problem. I think that we can all understand that a Business cares for the image it has towards its clients, and the sense of security that they give them, especially a business like a Guild that deals in deadly services. Customer satisfaction is very important. I think we also understand that the moment Andras became a Trainer he was bound by some rules and regulations, which he didn't read, or at least I didn't tell you because that would be incredibly boring. If I had mentioned this one rule and not the rest that would have placed a very unbalanced amount of import on it, and thus would have created audience expectations that nor I nor the story cared to meet or talk about. Punching the one who commissioned your work is bad in every world.
When it comes to how Andras felt this would hurt him. I don't think he did. He knows little about Trainers, but what he does is that they stand taller on the hierarchy of society than most people. They work in the service sector, of non awakened people even, but despite that, their position is more privileged. You may look at this as Andras thinking subconsciously that he stands above Crocket, he is awakened. And a bunch more, there are nuances behind everything, but I shall strive to portray them through my writing and not in the comment section.
Old Crocket himself, is a drunkard, fool of a man who has become rich through luck, and pure slave labor, extreme utilization of all his resources. Everything has gone well for him, and he is protected by the rules of the Guild, any other Trainer would have never punched him, Andras could have just pulled him away, and the ran, that was just as good.
To end on a positive note, and sorry for being so long winded. I just haven't had, again, interactions like these before, and I really want to dive deep, this not only helps me clear my thoughts, but every comment like this, every critique, is a lesson to learnt. I appreciate your words about the Attributes and their presentation very much. I think I could have gone with less, but I didn't want to oversimplify things. Thank you again so much for this comment and sorry I haven't responded sooner. It's been a hectic few days.
@Odyssey No need to apologize, I am just a rando on the internet, you owe me nothing.
When it comes to how Andras felt this would hurt him. I don't think he did. He knows little about Trainers, but what he does is that they stand taller on the hierarchy of society than most people. They work in the service sector, of non awakened people even, but despite that, their position is more privileged. You may look at this as Andras thinking subconsciously that he stands above Crocket, he is awakened. And a bunch more, there are nuances behind everything, but I shall strive to portray them through my writing and not in the comment section.
Old Crocket himself, is a drunkard, fool of a man who has become rich through luck, and pure slave labor, extreme utilization of all his resources. Everything has gone well for him, and he is protected by the rules of the Guild, any other Trainer would have never punched him, Andras could have just pulled him away, and the ran, that was just as good.
Write this/Hint at those things more. Not everything that is obvious to you is obvious to the reader. I thought that even though he was clearly shown to be overconfident and not likable, he was a capable businessman (and as such versed in negotiation and law, knows how far he can go) so his actions in the exchange would be somewhat sensible. For Andras, I got that he does not want to be in a situation of helplessness again (and does not want that for his Guai), but I would have at least expected a clear threat of violence before he uses violence and puts himself in jeopardy with the guild. Was he not thinking clearly or was he sure he would get away with it without too much trouble? I would have liked 1-2 sentences where this is cleared up.
@HorseWithNoName aha. So I didn't actually understand. That would have been simpler. Sometimes the flow of what is to come in my mind rushes out on the keyboard. I fear that breaking this flow will actually take from a scene but in this case it could only add. I think that I fear not to bore the reader too much and this leads to under-explained actions. I will see to this chapter again. Thanks for the comments and the seriousness with which you take my poor writing. Also thanks for coming back.
Thanks a bunch for the consistent comments. It means a lot.
