“Meimei, wake up! You are going to be late for the interview!”

Hua Mei clasped her ears shut with her hands and tried to ignore her sister in-law’s voice as she turned over in her bed.

“Meimei, Meimei, Hua Mei! You lazy donkey! You are going to miss the damn interview!”

“Ah, Sister-in-law~ Can’t I just get five minutes?” Hua Mei whined as she pulled the blanket over head.

A middle-aged woman’s patience was wearing thin, and she stormed into Hua Mei’s room with her hands on her hips. Even though she was in her early forties, her beauty still shone against the traces of time left on her face.

“Five minutes?! Don’t kid me, Meimei! You've been milking those five minutes for a whole hour! What did I do in my past life to deserve such a brat? You know, I married your brother when I was only twenty-one, and look at you! In your thirties and not a job or a husband in sight! Lazy brat, you're already giving me wrinkles! What am I going to do with you?" The middle aged woman, Lin Xue’s words flowed in a rapid stream, frustration and helplessness evident in her voice.

But, Hua Mei, on the other hand, paid no heed to the fiery temper shown by this woman and continued to sleep, her rhythmic breathing coming through the blanket.

“Ah! See this girl’s audacity, here I am shouting for her wellbeing and she is sleeping carefree!” Lin Xue pressed her chest exaggeratedly and exclaimed, “Agh, my blood pressure is rising again!”

Just as she was about to take off Hua Mei’s blanket and kick her to the bathroom, a soft voice mellowed into the room.

“Aiya, baobei, just let her sleep for a bit. She still has some time right?” Hua Yin spoke gently in contrast to the morning chaos.

“Here you go supporting her again. God forbid a woman scold somebody’s sister she also raised.” Lin Xue exasperatedly sighed, but a hint of helplessness came through.

“Well, I also still need to get breakfast ready.. Very well! You better get her out of this bed!” Lin Xue said sternly and walked out of the room.

Hua Yin smiled softly at the walk fit for the temper shown and slowly squatted down beside Hua Mei’s bed.

“Meimei, don’t anger your sister in-law and get up, okay? You can’t miss this interview, right?” Hua Yin slowly said.

Hua Mei groggily peeked out of the blanket with her eyes still half-closed. Her lips curled up mischievously. “Aiya Brother, you know I love my sister-in-law, but I also love my sleep. So, can’t you go coax her?

“Well, I can do that I suppose, but in the end, you still have to get ready for the interview, isn’t it Hua Mei?” He persuaded gently, knowing his sister’s personality well.

Hua Mei groaned and sat up with a big bird’s nest cooped up on her head. She sleepily yawned and proceeded to rub her eyes. Even though she just entered her thirties, her face still looked like someone in her mid-twenties. Moreover her height, which was shorter than her peers, revealed her stunted growth due to inadequate nourishment growing up.

Hua Yin tenderly looked at his sister’s actions and felt sad for not being able to provide her with everything. The second he saw the pink and wrinkly baby, he vowed to protect her for the rest of his life. He had heard that newborns are ugly, but in his eyes, his sister was the most beautiful from birth. But at that time, a new ten year old brother would have never imagined losing his mother from childbirth and then his father a few days later due to cardiac arrest. They followed in their parent’s footsteps into being orphans and had no relatives. Left alone in this world with his newborn sister, Hua Yin was forced to experience life's ordeals very early.

Hua Yin broke out his memories when he saw that his sister was about to sleep again, shook her awake and pushed her into the bathroom.

Hua Mei became cranky after being forced to wake up and started to rant, “Ah, brother! Why do we have so many difficulties?! Why can’t we be like those rich f*cks and enjoy life? Argh! This shitty ass life!”

These words earned her a knock on her head from Hua Yin. Hua Mei immediately brought her hands to rub the place and ease the pain. She accusingly looked at him, while pouting.

“What did I tell you about using swear words? Don’t look at me like that because you earned it.” He admonished her and turned his face sideways to avoid looking at her face which always made him give in.

“Bro, I AM thirty! I’m not a baby for you to do this!” Hua Mei shouted.

At that time, Lin Xue’s voice echoed from the kitchen, catching both of them by surprise.

“Well, I am very glad to see you are self aware but you need to get going or else you will really be late.” She said amidst the clattering of pots and pans.

“Sister-in-law!” She cried out loud, feeling unfair. 

“Also why are you cursing those shits? If you didn’t drop out of college, would you have any struggle getting jobs now?” Lin Xue ignored her cry and unhurriedly replied.

“Ugh.” Hua Mei let out a puff and went into the bathroom. While walking, she murmured, “What could I’ve done other than drop out when we had no money to pay?”

Hua Yin felt like he heard something and asked her about it. Hua Mei replied it was nothing and went to take a shower.

After a shower full of bad singing, she came out to see her brother and sister-in-law already sitting at the dining table. Hua Mei hurriedly walked towards them to see what delicious breakfast her sister-in-law cooked.

“Oh! Pork dumplings! Egg & Scallion Crepe! Congee! My favorite steamed buns! Sister-in-law, you’ve cooked a feast today ah?!” Hua Mei’s mouth watered as she looked down at the steaming hot dishes.

“Of course, do you think my cooking would lack anything?” Lin Xue asked arrogantly as she raised her chin up proudly.

“No, no! How can that be? My sister-in-law’s cooking is the best! Isn’t it brother?” She played along with Lin Xue and brought her brother in.

Lin Xue also immediately put an eagle-like gaze towards him and dared him to say otherwise.

“My wife is the best.” Hua Yin concluded this childish play with one sentence and motioned both of them to eat first.

Hua Mei immediately took a pork dumpling and bit into its juicy and crispy flesh. She let out a slow “hmm” as she finished that in two bites.

“This is heaven!”

After she finished eating, Hua Mei laid down and let out a contented sigh. But, before she could get more comfortable, she saw the time.

“Ahhhhh!!! I’m late, I am f*cking late for the bus!” She let out a scream and burst out in curses as she scrambled to get her socks and shoes.

“What did I tell you?!” Lin Xue shouted as she came running from Hua Mei’s room, carrying her blazer.

Lin Xue helped her into the blazer and started advising her. “Okay, do your best! Don’t feel afraid! Also you can’t curse out the interviewers, so be patient! Patience is the key to success! Do you understand?” With the way Lin Xue was panicking, it felt like she was the one going for an interview.

“Okay, okay, both of you calm down. And Hua Mei, don’t forget your files! Take bus number 05 at the B stop! It’s the one on the opposite side from where you walk and you need to be extra careful when crossing, got it?” Hua Yin initially intervened calmly, but he himself became chatty towards the end, constantly stressing her safety.

“Okay, okay, I understand! Both of you, eat well and go to work safely!” 

If someone saw these goodbyes, they would misunderstand and think that she was going far away. But, this was normal for these three people. Two being orphaned at very young ages and another being disowned for marrying someone against the family’s wishes. They only had each other in this world.

Hua Mei stepped out of the door and walked down the stairs. She exited the small building and walked on the sidewalk.

She waved at the two tiny figures while still walking forward.

“Okay, bye!”

She lived in a pretty secluded area near City B because her family couldn’t afford to be in the lavish houses in the busiest part of the city. For her to go there from her house took at least two hours by constantly changing buses.

Hua Mei reached the intersection pretty soon and waited for the pedestrian signal to turn green. She let out a sigh of relief after seeing that the bus didn’t come. She immediately had the leisure to look around her and noticed that there was nobody waiting like her. 

Hua Mei was puzzled because even though this was not the rush time, there would still be people leaving for far away work at this time. But, she immediately put aside these thoughts and started rehearsing for the interview in her mind.

When the signal turned green, she started walking on the small crosswalk to the other side of the road. She walked a little leisurely after noticing that the bus had still not come and there were also not many vehicles on the road today. 

Suddenly she heard a loud screech and she instinctively turned to see what it was. But, at that moment, before she could comprehend the situation, all she could see was the panicked face of the driver, and the car had already reached her.

It all felt like a blur.

With a terrible thud, Hua Mei collided with the hood of the car and her body flung itself onto the cold pavement. Pain, sharp and endless, overwhelmed her entire body. A sharp jolt of pain shot through her as head made contact with the road. The sound of her skull cracking echoed in her ears, amidst the ringing. 

Her crimson blood flowed through her head, staining the road. Every nerve in her body was screaming in agony. More pain came through her legs that she could feel was twisted into odd angles. Hua Mei felt like the word “pain” cannot describe what she was experiencing anymore. 

But, she could not have foreseen what was about to happen. The car’s tires didn’t stop, it still raced towards her as if it decided to not show mercy. It ran over her and crushed her already grotesque body into mere dust. But, all she could do at that moment was hold onto her dear memories of her family. She desperately clung to the memories that were fading fast into the void. 

The blood drenched her body and it slowly turned cold in the morning breeze. Her eyes stared straight into the wide, blue sky that seemed endless. She wondered whether her brother was looking at the same sky as her. 

Hua Mei always knew her brother was handsome and she always liked comparing other boys her age with her brother’s face. But, now she could no longer recall how he looked. That soft smile that was always etched on his face despite the difficulties slowly faded into nothing.

The first time she saw her sister-in-law, Hua Mei cried. She didn’t want a “stepmother" after reading all those stories about them. However, she wasn’t afraid of them because they would treat her badly, but because they would create a wedge between her and her brother. But, her sister-in-law was a mother to her just like how her brother was a father.

When everything dear to her vanished, Hua Mei panicked. Even when her physical body tormented her, it was subpar to how she was tortured mentally. 

But, everything will end. 

Slowly all her muscles lost their vigor and her body lost even the sense to feel pain. Hua Mei’s eyes gently closed as a single tear fell.

***

Her eyes suddenly burst open and she frantically sat up and began to look everywhere with her pupils quivering. Her heart raced and her hands trembled as she gasped in despair, with the last scenes still vivid in her mind.

Hua Mei desperately tried to catch her breath as she pressed her head with her hands as if to bury herself. Her eyes slowly focused and she exhaled one deep breath as she lifted her head to look at her surroundings.

The pale white ceiling, the smell of disinfectant, the large luxurious room, everything that was familiar yet unfamiliar jumped out at her at once. 

Her heart that was filled with one last desperation to prove that this was a dream ended futile. The real dream made her happy like nothing else could, but also filled her with terror that could follow her the whole life.

She felt like she was going crazy. If she told her story to other people, they would probably want to put her in a mental institution. 

She really wanted to accept this boon given by the deities, but she dearly missed her original life to do that. But, she would take a step at a time. Just one step at a time slowly and gently, just like her brother.

And Hua Mei stood up from her bed. 

Everything below her stomach felt numb and almost painful, but she couldn’t stop herself. Hua Mei slowly walked towards the small desk and grabbed the water bottle on it. She tried twisting the cap to open it, but she had no strength.

“F*ck, why doesn’t this open?!” Hua Mei whisper shouted, almost crying at how she felt so powerless.

She then succeeded in opening the bottle after several attempts and drank a few gulps to wet her parched throat.

Hua Mei glanced around the room and again her eyes stumbled upon the small bundle. This time, she slowly walked towards it. She reached the cradle and peered inside it to find the baby peacefully sleeping. 

Hua Mei found a little solace by this little being. It also came into this world just as she entered. Hua Mei felt like she was not totally alone.

She then reached her hands towards the little baby and picked it up. Hua Mei didn’t know how to hold a baby, leading to her holding it unnaturally. She felt like she was in an unknown territory and wanted to leave, but she restrained herself. Hua Mei put the baby in a position she thought was comfortable for both of them. 

The next thing she did was remove the bundle around the baby and look at the gender.

“Ohh~ A boy ah~ Well, I don’t discriminate, so I will treat you well, little boy.” Hua Mei talked to the baby as if she had never rejected it before.

Hua Mei never had any experience taking care of babies and was even scared of these little screaming banshees. 

‘Even if I leave this baby and embark by myself, it’s risky. I don’t know anything other than these four walls. If I was reborn, I would have been a newborn but I was the one who gave birth to a newborn, so this must be a transmigration… Never thought that what I used to read would become real.’

Suddenly the door opened and the doctor who came before strolled in.

The doctor was visibly surprised and asked, “Oh my! Ms. Hua, you woke up! I thought you fainted again with how long you didn’t wake up. But, it seems you are well seeing how you are playing with your baby. Don’t worry, we have already fed the baby! Also it seems you are holding the baby wrong, here I will teach you!” 

The doctor kept going on and on that Hua Mei was curious when she would even stop. When the doctor finished teaching the comfortable positions that a person could hold the baby, she stepped back. The whole time, even if Hua Mei wanted to talk, the doctor kept interrupting. In the end, she only added small hums here and there.

“I still feel like you need to rest well, so please do rest and then we can talk about what happens and the discharge things!” The doctor concluded by herself and cheerfully walked out of the room.

“Woah, I feel like a storm just came by and went.” Hua Mei looked at the baby and remarked to it. The baby in turn cooed and unknowingly hooked its finger onto Hua Mei’s finger.

Hua Mei’s heart felt like it was grasped by that small finger. The heart that knew no rest since she woke up finally fell in place. 

“Oh Brother, is this how you felt when you first saw me?” Hua Mei asked out loud as she stared far away.

Even though she felt uncertain about everything and she wanted to scream and cry, she finally felt like she could stop and take a breath. 

‘I will take a step at a time and do everything patiently.’

“But still, I don’t think I was this ugly.”

apobangpo_07

Umm, so I was really conflicted writing the past part because I thought since this was dream of mc, it should only have what she experienced and felt, not what others though at that time (cause she can't read minds u know). But, then I forgot I was writing in her pov and just wrote it like a flashback which included everybody's thoughts... but I liked what I wrote so just think of it as an omniscient third pov oka? I just gaslighted myself^^ I hope you do it too:]

Also how was today's chapter? I myself feel the dream part was too long, but I just wanted to write that so I did.

Now, I don't even know where this story is going, but be with me as I try to write next chapter and go on with this bs story.

Also this was a long chapter, almost 3 freaking k, I hope you like it...

Thank you and I hope you have a nice day without any mental troubles!

(wishes the author who they themself have anxiety and gaslights themselves into thinking not^^)