To love herself like she loved Pippi...

The request was absurd on the face of it. One was her best friend, a shining light of her life, the one being she could directly thank for not falling down the path of monstrousness. The other, a wretched being worthy of scorn, of mockery. Mockery for ending up like she did, mockery for having ever been so close to a moral point of no return.

An absurd request, delivered with the straightest face it was anatomically possible to express for the fairy. She wasn't gonna budge and Anne knew it to a decent extent, most of her just wanting to dismiss it all as something to placate her. As yet another throwaway bundle of words whose purpose were lies that got as close to white as it was possible for anything to be in here. But Pippi would know, and she'd most likely know right away.

Was such love even possible?

She couldn't recall when exactly did she resume her embrace with the chubby fairy, only that it was as appreciated as ever. Each time she got this close, each time she held her so tightly, so comfortingly, worries showed themselves. Emotional over reliance. Codependency. Inadvertent grooming despite her best efforts to make Pippi her own person. Her mind never took any breaks when it came to worrying- but the present occasion was almost enough to force it to.

To just accept good things coming her way. To accept comfort, to accept love. To stop checking every such expression for any and all ulterior motives or interpretations.

She didn't know how, frankly.

And yet she still had to try, for Pippi, for herself, and she wanted to. In time she probably would, but not here, not now. Changing oneself was a balancing act, doing it without a firm foundation was an easy recipe for collapse. Even in the best case scenario, it'd be weeks before the ground below would solidify into something that wasn't quicksand that she had to put utmost effort into staying on top of.

Excuses, excuses.

No, not excuses, screw that, she had to challenge these thoughts. Pippi did a tremendous job at that whenever she accidentally saw them be aired out loud. Anne couldn't rely on her friend to do that alone and she knew that, but- fuck, it was so hard. So incredibly fucking hard. She had the time, she just needed to actually give that time to herself.

Pippi made her so happy.

Couple pats on her back to start undoing the hug. Two soggy messes staring at each other, earlier emotions having all mellowed into tears. Pippi dashed immediately to grab the towel, still a bit damp but good enough just for getting themselves together.

"Feeling better?"

"Not as much as I would want to, but... yeah, I think so."

"I'm so, so glad. Yeah, don't think any of us are gonna be fully alright anytime soon, but... we'll figure it out, right?"

"Damn right we will. I-I want to get better about all this."

"And so do I~. We'll have to hold each other to that eh?"

"Only way forward, yeah. I'm sorry for-"

Anne's hands froze right as she saw Pippi start winding up for an interrupt, the two locked in a mute stare-off for an embarrassing amount of time. The fairy predictably won that duel, expression turning into an increasingly smug smile as her opponent lowered her hands down, getting the message.

"I love you."

"I love you too, you big tall dummy."

"Time to wrap up the prep, isn't it?"

"Yep- I think you have all your outfit in here, right?"

"Mhm, lemme get ready to head out-"

"I'll fetch some snacks~."

Pippi was gone before Anne could even discourage her, door creaking in her wake. Her human broke into quiet chuckles once the Clefable was gone- and then louder and louder ones after giving it some more thought. She always wondered how Pippi would act in a less psychotic environment, and while it was arguable whether central Castelia qualified as less psychotic, it was at least psychotic in a wholly new, exciting way.

Or so she heard.

Either they were greatly unprepared for what they were gonna see there, or that whole city wasn't prepared for the pink menace herself. One of those outcomes was much more likely than the other one, but the other was funnier.

Anything to lighten the tension was appreciated.

The alarm clock was reset to its original deadline with a couple nimble presses. Blinking 6:00 PM, Unblinking 5:25 PM. So close, so precipitously close. Device back on the nightstand, shoes at least on her feet. The windbreaker was the pinnacle of pointlessness, but there was some risk there'd be rain in Castelia once they got there. It wouldn't hurt, most things wouldn't hurt.

Double check the hand luggage. Flight ticket, ID, Pippi's ownership papers, her ball, rent agreement, this, that- everything was exactly where she'd last left it. Everything was ready. She was as ready as she'd ever get. She didn't feel ready in the slightest.

The world didn't wait.

5:29 PM.

She still remembered the origins of how they came up with this exact plan. Her sixteenth birthday, agreement to make it a proper trip begrudgingly granted. Just the birthday girl herself and her little pet. Only to the designated camping grounds, nothing anywhere near potentially dangerous in any capacity. Very few of those places even in nominally trainer-oriented spaces anymore. Apparently they used to be literal trailblazers once, baffling.

Judging from what she heard from Dylan on the phone, much of it sounded like a nature-themed theme park with all the provisions and comforts they were provided. No clue what point was there to a "journey" like that, but... knowing League, knowing it more than anyone her age should know League, there was some reason for that too. A vile machine, very rarely a stupid one, at least when it came to propagating itself.

Anywho- it was her, Pippi, and not a soul more. Full Moon above them, technically a couple days past her birthday. Backpack full of snacks and provisions for them to be able to just spend the next couple days sitting in place while the fairy recuperated. At last, the glistening Moon Stone, the pure stuff as opposed to the low grade used in jewelry. They sat together, facing one another, excitement making the air downright electric.

The Clefairy that grabbed the stone loved her human.

The Clefable that let go of it loved her even more.

And was incredibly tired, almost falling asleep there and then. They didn't bother with a tent, resting underneath the chilly sky, the fairy's warmth making it bearable for the tall lanky. First impressions of her new body, so much bigger, so much stronger, the wings got even more annoying. She could actually properly hug her friend's whole body and not just a singular limb, the action promptly demonstrated.

The few short minutes before their inevitable rest- chatter about how it felt, how drastically different it was from her first evolution. That one was before all the grime really came into view, right at home, surrounded by blankets and candy. This one was away and on their own- all each other had. All each other would ever need.

They'd have to leave eventually, for both of them. Even then Anne's fraying mind was all too clear, and it only came more undone since. They needed air untainted by cruelty, safety not built on misery. A place to call their own. One where they could both be themselves, where the corridors weren't full of people so hollow that all they had left were routine, ambition, or Father's money.

Somewhere to live. To thrive. To love. To be free.

To make the world a better place, however they could.

Just a few minutes of waiting, then a few hours of travel, a few days of acclimatizing, a few years of studies.

Anne didn't know what future they had in store. But no matter what it would throw at them,

"Here, scrounged for some chips and cookies."

She knew that together, they would make it through.

The alarm goes off at six.

Fifteen minutes left.