The clouds smother the sun's rays above,

Casting the city into its ephemeral shade,

Making the cold they felt, all that more potent without the sun to keep them slightly warm from the cold winds of winters.

~   ~   ~

Through my travels throughout this City of Chaos,

From its decrepit alleyways to its pristine noble streets,

I had found many in my journey who I thought could serve as Teachers.

 

Though just as many found me wanting on any number of characteristics,

To those that I found wanting in their minds, and personalities,

And I found those where we did not meet eye to eye.

 

Some of whom I ended up failing because of my inadequate ability,

To those who were disinterested in taking in a student in the first place,

And to those I disappointed, to those I ended up betraying in their ends.

 

I disappointed the Designed Shining One with my wavering conviction,

Unable to completely commit to the atrocities that he had ordered me to perform,

To serve a goal greater than myself, for him and his family's sake.

 

He even went as far as trying to use me as a material in furthering his family's designs for the world,

As a potential tool to be remade to mix Manifest and Mutation into some greater whole,

If not for the aid of my adopted mother Wise Tailor and the Sundered Axe, He might have succeeded.

 

Though even when he lay defeated and captured, I had to spend a week in Isolation to prevent harm to others or myself,

For he held a Blood Oath over me and Bright Honor,

And we had to wait till his execution for it to fall away,

 

As the Blood Oath was not to be triffled with,

It was a potent spell that allowed him to verbally command either of us to act even when we desired otherwise,

And if he saw fit, rupture our vessels from the inside, as he had done with more than a few veins on both of my arms to use the blood as ammunition against the Sundered Axe.

 

I was treated as an acceptable student by Bright Honor,

Giving me a workout he suggested that I should try to adhere to when I could,

Something that would help my physical conditioning,

 

Though even that soon came to an end,

For after Bright Honor and I were freed from serving the wicked Designed Shining One,

Only a few months later, he vanished from the City of Chaos, to not be seen for a long time,

Though I wanted to be respectful and wait for him, I had concluded that I still needed further guidance on physical training. 

 

I disappointed the Lion with Heart Wings with my strange sputtering fire of motivation,

A great and beautiful fire that showed promise but could not deliver,

For I was constantly and consistently at odds with  myself and my decisions.

 

Eventually, even though I still showed promise,

They decided I was too unstable and too indecisive to be fit to learn under their tutelage,

Though to this day, they still wave to me in the distance, though as a friendly acquaintance but no longer a student.

 

One of the first teachers who accepted me as a student was Lady of the Woods,

I met her by accident,

By this point, I had felt wrath at all I had discovered while existing in the greater Cognizant World,

And in my folly, I wanted to prove something wrong, so I attempted to show that it was pointless to try some schools of magic,

 

So I tried to invoke an old cryptic of the City of Chaos through a crude ritual made through some reading of Ritual Casting.

Created in the basement of Uncle Conquerer's Workshop, with passageways akin to a maze made through his efforts and his Manifest.

But to my shock, the ritual that I had expected to fail had succeeded.

And that is how we first met. I still learn from her the many ways of Druidic magic.

 

Ultimately I had many highs and lows,

I had achieved the beginning of my original goal and was on the way to completing it.

Though through it all,

I found that my destination no longer mattered, nor did I care for...' Mother'. But these thoughts will be looked at another time.

Looking at these thoughts stirs..., some unknown emotion, but that should be put aside for now.

 

For what mattered most, was giving back to the person who I can now give back in turn, now that I am able.

My Uncle Conquerer has been there for me since I was a little kiddo.

Even while he was tormented by the others, he stayed and comforted me.

For that, I will be giving him a surprise birthday party, once he has time off, though I wonder what is making him worry so much.

 

Thoughts of 'Flag of Charity'