Aside from the soft sounds of silver cutleries against ceramics, and the distant sound of the gardeners watering the plants outside the dining room, no other noises filled the air even when there’s 3 people is having their breakfast there. Elliot al’Mathias was a son of a high-ranking concubine of the previous Emperor, and was fourth in line to the right to the throne. But when the old Emperor passed away of diabetes, the then Crown Prince, inherited the title without much struggle. Elliot abdicated his right to the throne and used his mother’s maiden house name to start a new house with the title of Duke. After dabbling with trade markets and antiquities, he met a wealthy merchant named Alicia and married her. And few years later, Rachel was born as the only child.

It’s not the most interesting history of one’s family that’s closely related to the Royal family of Thorin, but it was Rachel’s. Since female as the heir was not uncommon, Rachel’s future should have been more or less set in stone already. But even after 14 years, and those several reincarnations, her father never once said a syllable of her taking over the family business. Perhaps he never planned to after all?

A young butler motioned to refill her cup of coffee when hers are almost empty, but she signaled him no. She just had mint tea less than an hour before after all. The butler nodded and instead filled a glass with plain water instead. It’s always a pleasant feeling having being served by someone who only thought of their duty, instead of trying to scam Rachel from under her nose.

“Are you going out today with that… maid, Rachel?”

Elliot was not much of a talker, but when he did, he always sounded so awkward. It’s amazing to think how a woman like Alicia would ever take notice of him in the first place, and even had his child. There was a weird emphasis on the word ‘maid’. Nothing new there. Why some people so obsessed in how others identify their own gender? Can’t they just judge people on the content of their heart instead, and that Jenny was a rotten thief?

“Her name is Jenny, Father, as it has been for years now. And no, I am not planning on going out today. I have several books I wanted to read today, may I use the library?”

The Duke Mathias was one of the richest in the kingdom, but both the Duke and the Duchess prefers their manor to be of decent size. Instead of tens of bedrooms, vast gardens, and many floors, the Mathias’ manor was much modest. Five bedrooms – Rachel’s, her parents, and three guest rooms – and only one garden and a small pond. It’s not because they are frugal, but Rachel suspect it’s to use as an excuse for not having people into their home. How can one host a dinner when the dining room, at most, can only occupy 6 people? Tea party? Unless people don’t mind sitting in the pond, sure, supposed that can be done.

The wealth of the Mathias house was spent the most on investment, but also on rare books and other small antique. Many didn’t stay long within the house and would be auctioned or gifted and even donated to a random charity. Those the Duke and Duchess liked particularly well, will be placed in the library. And since the most precious things were in the library, the room was often used to entertain guests.

“I have a few ladies who will come later in the day. Other than that, I believe the library will be free.”

Rachel nodded and said her thanks. She looked up to the woman with a back so straight, she wouldn’t be surprised if she had steel bars as spine. Alicia el’Mathias was a daughter of a merchant who herself also became a merchant on her own. Similar to her father, Rachel didn’t quite remember why she never bonded with her mother. Living several lives had dulled her memory of her youth. All she remembered was her struggle for the title of Empress, since soon as she was reincarnated back in the past, she would immediately use any means to have an early start for her plans and got out of that manor and into the palace.

Ugh. Why even thinking about the future made me so tired…? Am I just getting too old?

Counting on the amount of years she had lived between the multiple reincarnations; she had lived close to 60 years in total. Already an old woman in her golden age. By this time, normal wealthy ladies like her would already retreat themselves to the countryside, and no longer dabble in the suffocating race to gain power and fame. A race in which Rachel knew she would not even see the finishing line, much less to cross it.

Dabbing her lips with a napkin provided by the young butler, she excused herself from the dining room. She could see her father was hesitating on whether to say something or not, but her mother patting on her arms as if to stop him. Obvious they would not continue whatever talk they wanted to have right then, so Rachel politely bowed and left.

On the way to the library, she passed Jenny at the corridor. The maid simply bent her knee and didn’t dare to look Rachel in the eye. She stumbled with her words to greet as Rachel did not walk away, but instead stood there staring at the maid. It was like staring down a chicken before slaughter.

“…Is it fair to punish someone for a crime they haven’t done yet?”

After she asked Jenny that question back then, Jenny had been shaking and anxious, but ultimately incapable of answering the question. She waved her away when the first words she tried to say was to ask for forgiveness.

Apologies were not what Rachel wants. What Jenny had done to her in the previous life was stone cold cruelty. Rachel had been only kind and supportive of her for many years, but Jenny dared to steal the only evidence of Rachel not involved in the murder of the infant Crown Prince. Jenny chose to not stand in for the justice of Empress Rachel and even refute Rachel’s alibi. This Jenny would dare to betray her trust and ran to a new master. The memory of Jenny coming to the prison where Rachel was sent before her execution flashed in her mind. She dared to ask for forgiveness then too.

“I am thankful for what my Lady had done for me… but I don’t want to be implicated with you. Consort Elizabeth said because that I came with you when you married the Emperor, I would be the punished the same with you as they must believe my loyalty is with my Lady… and by doing this I can sever the ties to House Mathias and serve Consort Elizabeth instead…”

Rachel could only grit her teeth in frustration hearing that from the other side of the steel bars. All those years of kindness worth nothing anymore. This lowly maid kicked her master away as she tumbled down the stairs that lead to her losing her head. All because this lowly maid had another pair of sleeves to hold on to.

“I’m sorry, my Lady Rachel, but I have to keep on living too…”

No. Apologies were not what she wanted. A lot of people will owe Rachel a lot of apologies, but Rachel is now too old, too tired to care about them. Never forgive, and never forget. This old lady is tired of playing the protagonist in her story.

With an exhausted sigh, Rachel walked away from the little thief who were still bowing at the corridor.