Fifteenth day of the first month, 1255

Dear Ftangu,

I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to write back. I’ve been so dreadfully busy, and yet I don’t seem to have much to write about – the busy-ness has all been quite routine. The head curator at the museum finally gave me the additional hours I asked for a while ago, and not long after that, my teachers at the lyceum started assigning more projects – papers in three classes and presentations in two more.

After that, I didn’t have time for much else, though I have tried to do a little study of Kosyan here and there. Ridra is still helping me study it, just talking with me so I can get practice hearing it, but she’s been pretty busy with school, too, so we haven’t had as much time for that.

I’ll try to write a longer letter next time, but I can’t promise anything.

Your betrothed,

Tailiki

---

1255/2/8

Dear Tailiki,

Sorry to hear you’re so busy. I’ve been fairly busy myself, what with research, teaching classes, and trying to usher the new Gender Explorers club through the university bureaucracy and get it some kind of recognition. There are three levels of recognition; I don’t think we have a chance of making it “official” (which requires one of the deans to approve it), and “sponsored” is unlikely too (we’d need at least three senior faculty to sponsor it), but I hope we’ll get “recognized” status by the end of the year, which will get us a small meeting room, a brief listing in the student handbook, and the right to advertise on the bulletin boards in each dorm and classroom building. For now, we’re meeting in my apartment, which is a bit bigger than Gedrikar’s dorm room, where they met when I first encountered them.

I think I’ll probably make enough progress on my research to start writing a paper during the summer break. I’m still figuring out the exact scope of that paper, but I think I’ll probably profile two of my subjects, one male and one female, and put their cross-dressing in context of the broader gender exploration that was going on at the time.

Your friend,

Ftangu

---

Fifth day of the third month, 1255

Dear Ftangu,

Now that lyceum is out I have time to write you a longer letter. My hours at the museum have increased for the summer, but I still have a decent amount of free time. I’ve been reading more about League history from some books I found at a second-hand bookstall, studying Kosyan more diligently, and visiting with Ridra and Kenet. Father is still spending most of the time he’s not working with his friends from the pub. Mother has suggested that he invite some of them over for supper, but he doesn’t want to do that because of how tiny our apartment is.

Taenash writes that his book about us wakened ancients has been accepted by his publisher. Once he gets paid, he will send us the money for the interviews. That will be very welcome; it may be enough to let me come to Sderamyn and see you.

I hope your attempts to get official recognition for the club have succeeded. Does the university not want to recognize it because the students are doing things they disapprove of, or is it just general bureaucratic reluctance to do anything promptly?

Kynidra sounds fascinating. Or should I say Kyndisar? I’ve tried to find more about her, but she is barely mentioned in any of the books I’ve found. I suppose I’ll have to become more fluent in Kosyan so I can read more in-depth books about League history. I’ve made some progress – Ridra loaned me some books she read as a child, thinking they would be easier for me to get practice with, and I’ve read almost all of one of them in the few days since lyceum let out for the summer.

Could you send me a copy of your new paper when it’s finished? Or maybe your thesis about life in the summer palace? I’m sure it will be over my head just now, but it will give me something to aim for.

Your betrothed,

Tailiki

---

1255/3/22

Dear Tailiki,

Well, we finally got the Gender Explorers club recognized, just in time for the school year to end. I’ve gotten the listing to the university press for inclusion in next year’s student handbook, and am now busy with research for the paper I hope to submit before I have to start teaching again in the autumn.

I considered focusing my paper on Sdigrin and Kyndisar (I’ve decided to primarily call my subjects by their preferred nickname, where it’s known and recorded, out of respect), which is why I described them when you asked me for specifics, but I think now I’m going to substitute Prosendra (formal name Prosendar) for Sdigrin. She was a poet and a veteran of the second war between the League and the Suuriq Islands. Two years after the war (in 916), she began wearing women’s clothing and going by “Prosendra,” and continued to do so for the rest of her life (until 962). (After discussions over the last few months with the Gender Explorers, I think I should use feminine pronouns and adjectives for her when I can, and masculine pronouns and adjectives for Kyndisar, although I’m afraid my editor may want me to use the forms corresponding to their birth gender in the paper.) I’ve found more documentation on Prosendra, and she was one of the first, if not the first, of the tenth-century gender explorers. I haven’t found proof that she inspired Sdigrin or Kyndisar or most of the others, though she was friends with Sikona (formal name unrecorded, an archon’s clerk and minor poet), who apparently started wearing women’s clothing soon after her. And she was a public enough figure that the others must have been at least vaguely aware of her. But I mustn’t get ahead of my evidence.

Of course I’ll send you the paper when it’s done.

I haven’t just been teaching and doing research; I’ve found time to socialize with some of the other faculty and university staff around my age, and made friends with a couple of adjunct professors and a junior librarian. Kofpasar is a professor of mathematics, about two years older than me. He teaches calculus and analytic geometry to undergrads and topology to grad students – don’t ask me what topology is, because I didn’t understand when he explained. Something about analyzing knots? When he’s not teaching or doing research, he walks around the campus and the nearby parts of the city and out into the countryside, long walks of three to five hours, often at night. If this were Kosyndar, I’d worry about his safety, but apparently the neighborhoods he sticks to are safe enough, at least for a man as formidable-looking as he is. I’ve gone on some of his shorter walks with him and he wore me out after just a few miles; I don’t think I’m in bad shape, but he’s that much better. He’s led me into some curious places that I might have taken years to discover on my own, no more than a mile or two from the university.

Pydesen is a professor of ancient languages; he teaches Laipan and Old Kosyan every semester to undergrads, and several obscurer languages (including Tupaskai) at longer intervals, mostly to grad students. He’s been trying to get some grad students and faculty organized to put on a play in Old Kosyan, which apparently used to be an annual tradition of the university back when Old Kosyan was a required subject for everyone, whatever their specialization. I volunteered to play one of the minor roles – my command of Old Kosyan isn’t good enough for a major part – but we’ll see if he manages to find enough actors to make it work.

Dipredra is a librarian, working primarily at the archive library (the one nearer to the grad student and faculty housing; the main library is in the center of campus). She was hired last year, like me. She’s been a great help in my research, and showed me a lot of the treasures of both her archive and the main library (she was an undergrad here before going to the University of Dyram for grad school, so she’s more familiar with the libraries than you’d expect for someone who’s only been working here a year). When she’s not working, she spends most of her time reading the most eclectic variety of books you can imagine, as you’d expect from a librarian, but she also walks enough to be healthy, mostly just around the campus, though she ventures farther afield when she has someone to walk with her. I’ve suggested we join Kofpasar on one of his walks, but she’s not sure she could keep up with his pace, and that’s a valid concern.

Your friend,

Ftangu

---

1255/5/24

Dear Tailiki,

I haven’t heard from you in a while and I’m getting concerned. Is everything going well there?

My paper, “Two Tenth-Century Sderamyn Cross-Dressers,” has been accepted by The Journal of League History. When I get my author copies, I’ll send you one. It should probably be sometime in the seventh month, maybe late in the sixth.

Please at least just drop me a line to let me know you’re all right.

Your friend,

Ftangu

---

1255/6/5

Miss Kenet,

You don’t know me, but I’ve been corresponding with your friend Tailiki. I haven’t heard from her since early summer, and my last letter to her was returned unopened. Do you know what’s going on? I hope her family has just moved to another apartment, and her letter telling me her new address went missing, but I fear the worst. Please, if you know anything, let me know.

Respectfully,

Ftangu

---

Tenth day of the sixth month, 1255

Dear Ftangu,

Things have been absolutely horrible here. I was giving tours at the museum, as usual, on the thirtieth day of the third month, when suddenly my manager, Sihao, took me aside and warned me that I shouldn’t go home, because my father had been arrested for treason and he thought they would arrest me too. He said he knew that I was no traitor, that I always rebuffed the monarchists who tried to accost me on the job, but that he wasn’t sure the police would see it that way.

He escorted me out the back door of the museum and took me to his son Baedrun’s house, and asked his daughter-in-law Saoket to hide me until we knew what was going on and what had happened to Father. And Mother, and my uncle and aunt.

I didn’t know what happened to them for a good while after that. I wanted to send you a letter to let you know what was going on, but Sihao and Baedrun advised me not to. Sihao had been questioned about me just hours after he escorted me to his son’s house, and they were afraid that their mail was being opened by the police. I’ve had to stay in Baedrun’s cellar for much of the last two months.

Finally, I found out some of what was happening from the newspaper. Father, Uncle Kaspan and five monarchists that they were supposedly conspiring with were going on trial. There was a brief mention of Mother being arrested as well, but nothing about her being on trial, and it said I was still “at large” and wanted for questioning.

The progress of the trial was in the newspapers for days and days. I think a week and a half? Sihao and Baedrun decided I should get out of the country if my father was condemned. But they weren’t sure how to get me out without the police spotting me at the border.

Finally, the newspaper said my father had been condemned to death along with Uncle Kaspan and three of the monarchists he had supposedly been conspiring with. I was sick at heart when I read that, but I was soon too busy to grieve. One of Baedrun’s friends, Tonadru, who works at a theater, came over with a bunch of costume props and makeup and fixed me up to look like a man. He trimmed my hair short and gave me a black-haired wig in a masculine style, and gave me something like a corset that held my breasts flat, rubbed this stuff all over my arms and face to make my skin a little darker, and made up my face to look older and kind of stubbly. I could hardly believe I was the same person when I saw myself in the mirror.

After a few hours of coaching on how to walk and talk like a man, Tonadru went with me to the train station and bought tickets for Suinat, a provincial capital in Neshinark. There were police on the train, especially at the last station before the border, but they didn’t seem to pay any closer attention to me than to anyone else. They looked at Tonadru’s papers and the false papers Tonadru’s friend made for me, but didn’t question it when Tonadru said I was his younger brother.

Once we arrived in Suinat, we went to the house of some friends Tonadru introduced me to. Tonadru explained everything, and his friends took me in. That was last night, and this morning I sat down and wrote you this letter first thing.

I still don’t know whether Aunt Datai was arrested too, or what’s happening with Mother. Will they let her go? Will I be able to contact her and let her know where I am, or will Sihao be able to tell her? But Father’s execution has been set for the thirteenth day of this month. It will be over by the time you receive this. I am lost at sea; I have nothing but the boy clothes that Tonadru packed for me, and a couple of books that Baedrun and Saoket gave me to read while I was hiding. None of the money that I had saved up for my eventual trip to Sderamyn, none of the books I bought with my wages over the past two years, none of the clothes. I’ve taken off the breast-binder and wig, but I’m still wearing the boy shirt and trousers I wore on the train, for want of anything better.

The people I’m staying with, Taia and Rui, speak Hureshan, and they tell me that more than half the people in Suinat speak it pretty well, since we’re close to Huresh. People in the southern and eastern provinces aren’t as likely to speak it, though even there they said I’d find a good many educated people speak it, because Huresh is so big and powerful. I suppose I’ll have to learn Neshisum too, though. If I had known this was going to happen, I could have been studying Neshisum for the last year instead of Kosyan, but oh well.

I will write again after I find a job.

Your betrothed,

Tailiki