Mark had no more time to rationalize. He was sure he was minutes away from dying. 

If a flying robot was claiming that eating steak and fries would grant him some kind of healing, he would take it.

The hard part was to turn himself to the side, the pain increasing by the second. He was close enough to reach all the food but realized pretty quickly how hard was to move with his intestines wounded.

Eventually, he put some fries in his mouth and swallowed them. The salt made the taste of blood accentuated, but he ignored it and ate it all. After finishing the third piece, he could chew easily. His belly still aching, but less.

The robot floated in a circular pattern around him as if wanting to see every angle of the action.

As he began eating the meat he was already feeling no pain in his belly, and the one in his chest was disappearing, also. The pain in his shoulder still nagged him.

Upon finishing, he felt as if he had never faced a gigantic animal in his life. His belly, torso, and shoulder showed no wounds. Not even a scar. 

It seems the healing starts on the most serious wound and finishes on the least one. Makes sense. However, for small healing, I’m likely fully healed. Nothing makes sense.

“How was it? Did it taste good?” The robot asked, blinking red and orange. Excitement in its voice.

“It was great! The best meal of my life!” Mark exclaimed, full of irony, putting both arms to the side. “That’s exactly how I thought my day would be!”

“Oh, what a coincidence! That’s what I expected too. I dreamt that my companion would be a badass human who would start the integration by killing a mighty foe!” The robot Totvs continued to blink red and orange. “But I must say… your choice of weapons was peculiar.” The robot said the last part in a hushed tone.

He wouldn’t explain irony to a robot. He simply wouldn’t.

“Integration?” He asked, raising his brows.

“You missed your introduction when I arrived.” The robot said.

“No! You gave me a concussion, and I blacked out. That’s the proper way to explain it.” He said, his patience stretching thin.

“If you say so.” The robot Totvs said. “So I’ll do it once more. Pay attention this time, please.”

 

INITIATING SYSTEM INTEGRATION INTRODUCTION

The professorial voice started once again.

 

Greetings, job applicant! It’s an honor for the Terris Corporation to be on your planet!

We hope our training units are helping you to thrive!

We bought your planet, and you are now being integrated into the Terris Corporation business domain!

The fact that you guys just accomplished the Industrial Revolution is most impressive to us. You only needed Three hundred thousand years to do so. Humans can’t stop impressing the universe. And we are buying before you guys destroy it.

To celebrate your integration we are offering job positions in our organization. You just need to show your valor! 

To encourage you, your planet is now full of species on the top of the food chain in their planets. Some will be familiar, others not so much. 

Fight, and you’ll be rewarded.

Accomplish difficult tasks and you’ll be rewarded. 

Improve yourself in the ways you can and feel comfortable with, and you’ll be rewarded.

Survive for the next thirty days and you’ll have a chance to work with us!

Remember our company values: Ruthless, efficiency, and sustainability. We hope to see you wearing our colors soon. Bye!

 

 

And the message ended. The robot blinked from green to blue and kept floating in the air. The only noises Mark was listening to were the mechanical parts inside Totvs working, water flowing in the stream, and the tickling of the wood burning beside him.

“You can ask questions now.” The robot broke the silence.

“What the hell?!” Mark questioned screaming, his voice wavering as one of a teen in puberty. “We did the industrial revolution almost three centuries ago.”

“The buying of Earth was a litigious process. Very very litigious one.” The robot responded. “But we are finally here and the planet is well, in parts.”

“Who the hell sold the planet to this corporation?” Mark asked, looking to the ground, trying to organize his thoughts.

“The owner of the galaxy. The Viritian Conglomerate.” It responded as if stating something obvious. “Do you want to see your stats? What do you want to be called? What’s your profession?”

He scratched his head in confusion and disbelief. The quantity of information was maddening him.

“I’m Mark, a cook and yes, show me my stats… whatever you’re meaning.”

 

IDENTIFYING APPLICANT

Name: Mark

Health: 90/100

Mana: 100/100

Lvl. 2 (10%)

Race: Human (Earth)

Profession: Chef

Class: None

STATS:

Strength: 11

Endurance: 10

Dexterity: 8

Intelligence: 14

Luck: 7

Points available: 1

 

SKILLS:

BASIC COOKING. LVL 1

DUEL-WIELDING COMBAT. LVL1

Points available 1

 

So it’s just like an RPG.  Mark felt good seeing his strength, endurance, and intelligence at a higher level. He had worked hard his entire life, made a lot of sense to him that these stats were the ones he had the most.

His luck being low was predictable too. His job history was a testimony to that. Being alive when the apocalypse arrived too.

His dexterity being low was not a surprise, either. He had always favored strength training and avoided running. He was a disgrace when the matter was sports like soccer and football.

He reserved all his agility for the kitchen, but maybe the low-effort exercise was not so accountable to this system. One question was forming in his mind.

“How do you know all that about me, but not my name?” He asked with genuine curiosity.

“Oh, I implanted a little DNA modifier in you while you were unconscious. That way we can analyze, increase your stats, and modify you, depending on your achievements,” The robot said, no emotion in its voice. Mark could tell it was bored with the interaction.

“You did what?” He asked, raging building in his heart.

“Implanted a DNA modifier in you while you were unconscious.” The robot said, again with boredom. “Are you okay, Mark? I see your health bar is not complete. Maybe your brain needs more healing.” 

The colors and tone of voice of the robot started to change.

“Why don’t you fry that other steak!?” It started to fly in circles between Mark and the bonfire. “I’m so happy my human chose to be a cook. I was really afraid of being stuck with an Alchemist, Arena Fighter, Bounty Hunter… or one of these Historians you guys have… urgh!” Disgust in its robotic voice.

“You never said I could choose another profession,” Mark said, but his annoyance was slowly fading. Talking to this robot was almost like talking to a child. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! I forget about it. But you can ask! All system messages are delivered when they arrive. You received a lot when you were unconscious and when you were eating that delicious steak and fries. You probably didn’t listen to me, right?” The robot said with clear irritation. 

“No, I don’t,” Mark responded looking to his sides and trying to assess what he was going to do now. “Give me the other messages, please.”

 

SYSTEM MESSAGE:

YOU HAVE QUESTS IN PROGRESS.

1 - MAIN QUEST: 

SURVIVE!

Your planet is no more! At least no more like before, expect a lot of changes. To see them, you need to survive.

TIME REMAINING: 29 days 22 hours and 50 minutes

Rewards: EXP, 10.000 credits, a Tier 5 “choose your loot” box and a position in the next phase of our Hiring Process.

2 - SIDE QUESTS: 

 IDENTIFY 5 NEW SPECIES (1/5)

Rewards: EXP and a Tier 1 loot box.

 

• ACQUIRE 3 NEW SKILLS: (2/3)

 

Rewards: EXP

USE YOUR SKILLS (1/10)

Rewards: EXP

KILL 1 APPLICANT ENEMY (1/1)

Rewards: EXP and a Tier 2 loot box.

(**NEW**)

KILL 5 APPLICANT ENEMIES (1/5)

Rewards: EXP and a Tier 3 “choose your weapon loot” box.

GAIN LEVELS (2/5)

Rewards: EXP and a Tier 1 loot box.

 

Okay, so I did accomplish some things and have a lot of other ones to do so if I’m really going to “play” this psychotic game. 

“Are there other messages?” Mark asked the robot.

“Oh, yes!” 

 

SYSTEM MESSAGE:

YOU GAINED A LEVEL: 1 free stat point available; 1 free skill point available

YOU ARE NOW A CHEF

YOU ACQUIRED BASIC COOKING. LVL 1

YOU ACQUIRED DUAL-WIELDING COMBAT. LVL1

 

ACHIEVEMENTS:

YOU KILLED AN APPLICANT ENEMY: You’ll receive a Silver Loot box, beware the sky.

YOU KILLED A CONSCIENT ENEMY: Do you want to hear its last words?

[Y/N]

 

A shiver ran through his entire body. He had forgotten about the fact that the kitchen was capable of thinking.

“Yes,” he answered, his thoughts taking him to the worst places. Maybe he killed a chicken with a whole lot of chicks waiting for her to come back home with a new job.

“Damn you, you stupid inferior race-monkey,” The robot voice of Totvs said, translating the last words of the beast. Relief washed his body and he released a breath he didn’t know it was stuck.

“Looks like you just killed a nazi chicken!” The robot exclaimed with enthusiasm.