‘’He knew me, Maggie. And I knew him. Roll 1989, the invasion of Panama. It was six of us. Me, Elias Williams, Bill Jenkins, David Chambler, John Mercer, and Abraham Ford. Taskforce Alpha…’’
Negan carefully navigated the Humvee into a parking spot, the engine growling to a halt as he let out a weary sigh. In the dimly lit interior, the young man reached for the center console, fingers tracing the edges of the worn and tattered cap that rested there.
He lifted it and carefully settled it atop his head, his dark eyes meeting his reflection in the rearview mirror. Negan adjusted the cap with a critical eye, ensuring it sat just right.
As he did so, Elias chuckled. ‘’Oh man, I can hear the arguing from here. Tough lady Mercer’s got.’’ The man clicked his tongue before looking to Negan. ‘’You ready for this, Smith?’’
Negan nodded. ‘’Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go.’’
The night air enveloped them as they stepped out of the Humvee, the crunch of gravel beneath their boots a contrast to the heated arguing that could be heard in the distance. The house before them adorned with Christmas decorations cast a festive glow, colorful lights dancing amidst the darkness. The atmosphere seemed to clash with the tension brewing inside.
Amidst the holiday cheer, the couple's argument echoed from within the walls, leaking to the outside. John's voice was audible as Negan and Elias made their way to the front door.
‘’Honey, you need to calm down,’’ spoke Mercer in a placating tone.
‘’I am calm! Five years, John. Five fucking years we’ve been married! When are we going to settle?!’’
Before Negan could knock, John opened the door and gestured to the side gate. ‘’Go around back,’’ he whispered. ‘’She’s so fucking pissed.’’ The man smiled wryly before closing his front door.
Elias shook his head, chuckling silently as he led the way around the house. The two could still hear the married couple on their way over as they passed the curtained windows.
‘’Settling?’’ asked John in bewilderment. ‘’I thought this was about tomorrow.’’
‘’Arh! It’s about everything, John! I need something more from my life besides sitting around waiting to see what godforsaken country you’re gonna move us to next! It is not enough, John. Not enough!’’
Negan sighed quietly as the voices of the two gradually grew inaudible. ‘’We should make this quick. For the sake of Mercer’s marriage if nothing else. C’mon, Elias.’’
Turning the bend, the two entered the backyard. Mercer was there already, emerging out of the sliding doors to his home with a case of beer in hand. He threw a bottle to Negan and another to Elias.
‘’Williams. Smith.’’ John Mercer greeted the two warmly, though a hint of fatigue laced his tone. ‘’Sorry about that, brothers. Married life, what can you do eh?’’
‘’Mercer. Good to see you, John. And it's no trouble. You got the stuff?’’ asked Negan as he cracked open his beer.
John nodded and gestured behind him. ‘’Yeah, course. It’s in the shed.’’ Negan and John went to the picnic table in the center of the yard to discuss the coming operation whilst Elias walked over to the shed in the corner, grabbing the duffel bags locked within.
The night held a gentle chill, the moon casting its silvery glow over John’s backyard. Pathway lights guided their way, creating a subtle luminosity that danced along the trail they strolled.
At the picnic table, a lantern flickered to life, its warm embrace painting the faces of the men seated in hues of shallow amber. Fireflies, like scattered stars, added sporadic bursts of brilliance to the remaining pockets of darkness.
Taking his place across from Mercer, Negan offered a sly smirk before teasing, ‘’So how’s Mrs. Mercer, John? Keeping you on your toes?’’
Mercer chuckled, the lines on his face softening with affectionate amusement. ‘’Stephanie is good. She’s just worried is all, but she’s got our baby boy to keep her and our daughter Maxxine company in the meanwhile. The kids are asleep right now. Thank god for them being heavy sleepers.’’
Negan raised his beer in a playful salute. ‘’Congratulations on the boy, Mercer. Michael, right? Or did you settle on something else?’’
John clinked his beer against Negan’s, a smile blooming brightly on his face. ‘’It’s Michael. My boy already dreams of becoming a Marine. Can you believe that, Smith?’’ John chuckled before shaking his head. ‘’Driving his momma up the wall, but that boy is stubborn.’’
Elias dropped the bags near the table before sitting down next to Negan. ‘’Wife doesn’t seem too happy,’’ remarked Williams as he cracked open his beer and took a sip. ‘’You didn’t tell her about the invasion, did you?’’
John shook his head and groaned. ‘’Nope. Seems like I’m the only one who didn’t. She heard it from Jenkins’ wife and David’s and Ford’s. Can you imagine how that made me look?’’ John sighed and took another swig of his beer. ‘’Guess I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.’’
‘’Damn.’’ Elias whistled lowly before lightly bumping Negan on the shoulder. ‘’Take a good look at this poor bastard right here, Smith. This is why you don’t go for those spitfires. They wear the pants in the relationship and cut you off at the balls.’’
John Mercer flipped off Elias. ‘’Fuck you, Williams. You talk shit now but just wait. You just wait.’’ Mercer chuckled ominously and nursed his beer with a smirk.
‘’Hey, I’m serious,’’ replied Elias with a grin and a laugh. ‘’Find yourself a low maintenance woman, Negan. Soft and quiet, but not boring if you catch my drift. Now I’ve had my fair share of the fierce type and lemme tell ya, you give an inch, and they take a damn mile. Ain’t that right John?’’
‘’Amen to that brother.’’ John clinked his beer against Elias’ on that one. Negan – a silent observer – smiled and shook his head, the brim of his cap casting a shadow over his eyes as he took a sip from his own bottle.
A sudden voice cut through the night, emerging from the shadows like a lively spirit. ‘’Brother, ain’t no woman alive low maintenance! That’s a damn myth.’’ It was Jenkins, flanked by David and Abraham.
John stood up to shake their hands and pass them the remaining bottles of beer. ‘’Well look who decided to show up. A minute longer and the beer would’ve been warm,’’ John jested, his tone laced with the easy camaraderie of old friends.
David shook John’s hand, concern etching his features as he inquired, ‘’You look like shit, John. How’s the wife?’’
‘’Why does everyone keep asking me that?! Is it that obvious?’’
Laughter erupted from the quartet, with some nodding in agreement and others shaking their heads in playful sympathy. Amidst the shared mirth, Negan observed with a faint smile, a silent spectator to the familiar banter that bound these men together.
As the newcomers gravitated to the backyard’s center, Elias and Negan rose to extend greetings, though each face held a sense of familiarity.
Amidst the general hubbub of conversations and small talk, Abraham veered toward Negan. The red-haired powerhouse halted just shy of Negan, his chest flaring and muscles flexing in a silent exhibition of strength. Both men – towering and broad-shouldered – locked eyes in an unspoken challenge, the air pulsating with a quiet intensity.
Abraham’s formidable presence mirrored Negan’s, the tension escalating as their silent standoff continued. Shoulders squared, muscles taut beneath the fabric of their uniforms, it appeared as if a clash was imminent.
Yet, just when it seemed the brewing storm would break, a grin broke across Abraham's face, dispersing the tension like the sudden burst of sunlight through stormy clouds. Negan reciprocated, a grin playing on his features as well.
‘’Hey Red. Been awhile since I saw you,’’ Negan greeted softly, his tone carrying a thread of camaraderie. A firm hand clapped on Abraham’s shoulder, ushering him to take a seat by his side.
‘’Welcome to Panama, Smith. It’s good to see you after that shitshow in Germany. I still owe you a drink for that, don’t I?’’
Negan shook his head with a dismissive smile. ‘’You had my back, and I had yours. You’d have done the same. Far as I’m concerned, there is no debt. Not between brothers in arms. Though… a glass of gin never hurt nobody,’’ he added, a touch of amusement infusing his words.
Before the two could delve further into their banter, John Mercer's voice cut through the air, redirecting the course of conversation.
‘’Alright, listen up boys. Our objective is simple. Capture and depose Manuel Noriega. Higher command wants him alive, and it’s up to us and three other six-man teams to ensure the job gets done. No fuckups allowed, you hear? In each duffel bag is your kit. Comms are already set to the team’s channel. I want no names. Call signs only. Smith! Ford! You’re taking point tonight fellas. The honors all yours. Watch your six and weapons free.’’
‘’We had been on a mission prior. Abraham, me and Elias. That’s how we met. The Cold War was still going on at the time, and the three of us had been deployed to the Harz mountains on a covert operation. Soviet spy facilities had been sighted, and we were sent to confirm and report our findings.’’
As he told the story, Negan had carried Maggie to the nearby sofa to lay down and rest while he started on cleaning the dishes.
‘’Shit hit the fan not long after. We were surrounded and under heavy fire. Me and Abraham decided to stay behind and cover for Elias while he climbed altitude to call in for evac. The hard part was breaking the encirclement. We fought tooth and nail, and it nearly cost us our lives. I saved Abraham’s life along the way. Hell, his wife thanked me for it too when she heard the news. Broke down crying and clutching at my arm, thanking me all the while…’’
Negan swallowed hard, shook his head to get rid of the feeling that threatened to rise up inside of him.
We make our choices and live with the consequences. The rest is void.
The man, lost in his recounting of the past, was taken aback when a pair of arms enveloped him in a tender embrace. Maggie had quietly risen during his narrative, silently approaching to hug him from behind. Her head rested against his back, nestled square between his shoulder blades. ‘’You were a soldier,’’ Maggie observed softly, her words carrying a weight of understanding.
The scars, the stoic experience etched across his demeanor – it all fell into place; the pieces to the puzzle that was Negan Smith. Maggie had her assumptions, but to know the truth still shocked her. To discover that Negan not only had a military past but knew Abraham was a revelation that stunned her. Now looking back on that night, things she overlooked had newfound significance in her eyes.
The way Negan paused before Abraham – the look he gave the former soldier – the scoff and grin before walking away.
Negan turned to look at Maggie. There was that same weariness to his eyes, but now she saw it through a new light. The weariness told a deeper story, one she was only just beginning to comprehend. Now she knew a little more; understood the man she loved just a little more. It didn’t go unappreciated, didn’t go unfelt at how willing Negan was to part with his secrets, unfold his past for her to know.
‘’I was. Once.’’ replied Negan hoarsely, breaking her out of her contemplations. ‘’You shouldn’t be on your feet.’’ With that said, the man coiled an arm around her waist before leaning down to coil his other around her legs, picking the young woman up and into the shelter of his arms.
Maggie instinctively coiled hers around his neck, surrendering to the reassuring strength of Negan’s hold. As he cradled her, Maggie closed her emeralds, content to be carried wherever he chose as long as he remained by her side.
‘’Did he even recognize you in the end? Did he know?’’ she inquired, her voice a gentle murmur.
Maggie could hear his heart quicken, but then it evened out to a steady pace. ‘’If he knew, don’t you think he would have told you and Rick who I really was long before that night I met you? I forgot all about him, too. I hadn’t seen or heard of him in decades. We all went our separate ways. I left the army after… Negan hesitated, the name Bosnia lingering unspoken on his tongue.
‘’…I left when I had enough with killing.’’
She doesn’t need to know about that. Nothing but nightmares. My burden to carry, those things I did and suffered. My cross to bear.
‘’ He was a brutal man, Maggie. A killer through and through in the old days. I judged him to be that man I knew still. I couldn’t risk anything else, and so I killed him. The real reason I killed Abraham Ford was because he knew me, and I knew him. Whether he knew or not who I was before I killed him, the man accepted it regardless. From one soldier to another, from one survivor to another. He accepted to be the only one killed that night.’’
But he wasn’t, thought Negan in his heart.
Negan didn’t say anything else as he strode down to the ground floor with Maggie in his arms. Maggie had hoped he would, but when he didn’t, she could only sigh silently in her heart.
‘’Thank you for telling me the truth, Negan.’’ Maggie spoke up, breaking the quiet. He glanced down at her briefly before resuming his forward gaze, nodding in acknowledgment.
Maggie assumed that was the end of it, but Negan came to a sudden halt on the walkway. Before she could inquire about the pause, he shared, ‘’This is where I would stand and speak to them. Down there on the ground floor would be the Saviors, looking up to me to lead them.’’
Curious, Maggie turned her head away from its place on his chest to survey the scene. Her eyes fell on the remnants of the burned-out barrel and the chair where Negan had once been bound. The remnants of a chaotic past were scattered about with the blood of those who came before staining the walls and floor.
A once-thriving hub of life – the Saviors’ home – was now reduced to a desolate husk.
‘’Look, baby girl. I made my decisions, and I knew that whatever happened, I’d live with the consequences. I don’t regret killing Ford because he was a threat to my people, my purpose, and to me. I don’t have remorse because the Saviors were my purpose at the time,’’ Negan explained, his words laden with the weight of his past.
Maggie throat hitched at his candid admission. ‘’What are you trying to tell me, Negan?’’
‘’I need you to understand. I answered truthfully to everything you asked because I need you to know who I am. What you’re getting into when you think you need me.’’ Negan lowered his head, his gaze piercing as he looked her deep in her dark emeralds.
‘’My hands are stained with blood, Maggie. You could sail a ship on the blood I’ve spilled. I’ve killed all my life. Killed people you know, people you love. I killed, and I was cruel. I was – I am a monster. Lucille was the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and now its you. She knew I’d done things, bad things…but she loved me anyways. She believed I could be better. With you…’’
Negan broke his gaze with hers and looked up, took a deep breath and sighed before looking back down at the young woman in his arms. ‘’You’ve given me too much, baby girl. You’re giving me everything that I should never know, never belong to me. I don’t deserve anything from you but hate. I shouldn’t know what your lips on mine feel like, or what you look like beneath your clothes. Only thing right was you putting that knife to my neck. You tell me again and again that you chose, and you chose me. But – ‘’
Negan was never able to speak his next words into existence. Maggie snarled and lunged at him with a ferocity that surprised him; swept away his breath before he could use it to speak further. She pulled his head down and smashed his lips against hers, sinking her nails into his neck and biting where she could.
Her sudden movement sent Negan sprawling flat on his back, but he instinctively shifted to absorb the impact, ensuring that he took the brunt of the collision and not Maggie.
As Negan lay winded on his back, Maggie didn't hesitate. She gripped his jaw and positioned herself to sit on his chest. Negan winced as he took in a sharp breath, then swallowed hard. In that moment, Negan realized he’d truly pissed Maggie off. The look in her eye was one he knew well, an old familiar fury he hadn’t felt since that day at the prison where she confronted him.
‘’I do need you,’’ she growled out dangerously.
Maggie’s anger raged like a tempest, but there was a desperation in her actions, an urgency that transcended mere fury. Her lips crashed against Negan’s, a clash of smoldering passion and defiance. The taste of him was a mixture of sweat and the metallic tang of blood, an intoxicating blend that ignited something primal within her.
Negan, still reeling from the unexpected attack, felt the sting of her nails on his jaw and the pressure of her teeth against his lower lip. Yet, in the midst of the chaos, there was a strange intimacy to the violence, a paradoxical dance of aggression and longing.
‘’I need you,’’ Maggie repeated, the growl in her voice now a low, desperate plea. Her fingers tightened on his jaw, not in aggression, but to anchor herself urgently to something tangible in the tumult of conflicting emotions.
Negan, catching his breath, tentatively reached up and cupped her face. His thumb grazed over Maggie’s cheekbone, tracing the path of a tear he hadn’t noticed until now. The rough calluses of his fingers contrasted with the softness of her skin.
‘’You sure have a way of showing it,’’ he quipped, a faltering grin tugging at the corners of his mouth despite the ache in his body and the sting burning on his lip. It was a feeble attempt to diffuse the intensity of the moment, but Maggie's emeralds bore into him, unyielding.
‘’Don't you get it, Negan?’’ Maggie's voice wavered, a mixture of frustration and vulnerability. ‘’I chose you, despite everything. Yes, you were cruel, and arrogant, and selfish! But…you are more than that. So much more… You have always been more than what others saw, and I didn’t see the truth of it until you saved me, took care of me. I chose the man, not the monster! I chose the good in you Lucille saw. That I see!’’
Maggie tore open the buttons to his shirt to reveal the wound she inflicted. She put her hand on her mark upon his heart, pressed her palm hard against it until Negan inhaled sharply.
‘’We’re in this to the end, Negan. I’m yours, and that’s final. This is final,’’ emphasized Maggie as she stroked feathering touches on her mark. This wound that would scar permanently, forever her mark over his heart.
Negan looked to his goddess angel then, her eyes dilated and lips smeared red with his blood. Fierce and wild was this young woman with a heart as untamable as the sea, and yet she proclaimed herself his. She wounded, carved, hurt and drew his blood until he understood that just as he belonged to her, she was now his.
‘’My heart will always belong to you,’’ Negan whispered, pouring all the sincerity and love he held for her into his hushed words.
A gorgeous smile bloomed on Maggie’s face at his declaration, her once fierce emeralds now softening as she bent down to kiss him ever so gently on the lips.
‘’Prove it to me then,’’ she breathed hotly in his ear. ‘’Prove to me your heart is mine every day and night for the rest of our lives.’’
Negan coiled an arm around Maggie’s waist, holding her flush to him as he sat up. He answered with a searing kiss, his hand cupping her breast through the soft, plaid red flannel shirt she wore.
Maggie moaned into his mouth, her hands pawing at his chest as his other held to the back of her neck. The firm grip of both his calloused hands on her smooth skin electrified her, made the apex to her thighs quiver in excitement.
Negan chuckled darkly before letting go, a faint smile hung on his lips as Maggie was still dazed and breathing shallowly.
He raised the hand cupping her breast to instead press his thumb against her bottom lip, stroking and wiping at the blood still remaining before entering Maggie’s mouth. His thumb pressed down against her hot, slick tongue, and the man savored the sensation. Watched in awe and barely repressed lust as his baby girl sucked and moaned softly, her pretty green eyes looking hazily at him as she did so.
‘’Please,’’ she begged once he withdrew his finger from her mouth. ‘’Please don’t stop, Negan.’’
Negan smacked Maggie hard on the ass as he kissed her, squeezing and kneading all the while stealing her breath away before she could gasp from his heavy hand.
‘’That’s your punishment for standing up and walking when you should be resting those pretty little feet of yours, baby girl. Now c’mon,’’ said Negan as he rose up to his feet and carrying Maggie in his arms. ‘’Let’s go.’’
The kiss was his answer, and everything that came after was just his way of teasing and punishing Maggie.
Maggie snorted and shot Negan a look that could melt steel to show her dissatisfaction, but understood that now wasn’t the time to continue. A draft of cold wind had passed them by, waking her from her lustful stupor.
Time passed as Negan walked with Maggie in his arms through the interior of Sanctuary, allowing the young woman to fully collect herself from earlier. Her heart sang with happiness at Negan’s response, knowing he meant every word when he said his heart belonged to her.
And yet, the happiness in her heart was tinged with a lingering bitterness. It was hard to ignore. Hard to be blind to it when it stared her in the face time and time again.
‘’Why do you hesitate so much when it comes to me, Negan?’’ She couldn’t hide the hurt in her voice – couldn’t help but speak aloud what troubled her heart as she questioned him. Maggie had heard his reasons before, but was it deeper than what Negan said? Did he hesitate for anything else than because of who he was in the past?
‘’I know you want this just as much as I do. So why? What else is there that’s holding you back, handsome?’’ Maggie wasn’t referring solely to what had just occurred, but to everything else that came before. The constant push and pull, how Negan would always have one foot in the door and the other out.
‘’Because,’’ Negan began softly, his heart aching from hearing the hurt in her voice, ‘’I’m afraid. I don’t want you to wake up one day and regret it. I don’t want to fail you like I did with Lucille. My original promise was to get you to your group safely. I believed I could at least do that much. That I wouldn’t fail you there.
‘’But do you know what it is that you’re asking of me Maggie when you say I’m yours and you’re mine? What will happen when people see you and me together? I made a lot of enemies, Maggie. Being with me means they’ll become yours, too. And I don’t want that for you. Any of it for you. You have enough pain already, and I don’t want to add to it any more than I’ve already done, baby girl.’’
‘’I don’t care what other people think,’’ refuted Maggie, her tone now laced with anger. ‘’They can all go to hell as far as I’m concerned. All of them.’’ There was steel to her tone as she said so, bitter and harsh for anyone who dared try and get in the way of her happiness.
This is all I have. I love him. If anyone tries to destroy what me and Negan have – no matter who it is – I won’t spare them. I won’t.
Maggie clenched her fist and vowed that she wouldn’t. If people saw her in a different light or hated her because she chose to be happy then to hell with them. She’d given more than enough of herself for those people, be it friends or those she considered family. She lost everything and everyone. One by one until only she alone remained. Who were they to point fingers and demand more?! To question her?!
‘’I just want you to be safe, Maggie. I need you to be, and being with me is the furthest thing from that.’’ Negan's voice held a mixture of concern and desperation, his own fears laid bare.
I’m not worth the pain, baby girl. I’m not worth a damn…
Maggie scoffed.
You fed me with your own mouth. Cleaned me with your hands. Do you honestly think I’d ever let you go, Negan?
‘’You know what my biggest fear is, Negan?’’ Maggie’s voice trembled as she clung to Negan, her fingers gripping the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt. Her dark emeralds – usually sharp and resolute – quivered frailly like glass on the verge of shattering as she gazed up at him. ‘’I’m afraid you’ll leave me. That you’ll disappear silently, and I’ll be none the wiser.
‘’It’s always a worry in the bottom of my heart, Negan,’’ she continued, her breath hitching. ‘’It doesn’t make it any better when I see you always try and keep me at a distance. That you think what’s best for me isn’t you. I don’t care anymore about anything else. I don’t care if being with you means the whole world is against us! At least with you I have the strength to face it. To keep going.
‘’As long as I’m with you,’’ she confessed, her words hanging in the air like a fragile promise. ‘’I just need you. Just you, Negan. I’ll break without you.’’
‘’And you have me, Maggie,’’ said Negan sincerely. When she said she’d break without him, Negan’s mind thought back to last night. He wanted nothing more than to believe it was a nightmare he’d dreamt up, but it wasn’t. A single moment more and this angel of his would have been gone forever. He’d walk in to see a lifeless shell of Maggie in his bed instead, snarling and growling at him just as Lucille had been so many years ago.
It didn’t happen. It won’t.
Negan shook himself free of the thought, looked to his angel nestled within his arms instead. ‘’My heart belongs to you, Maggie. I won’t ever leave you, not unless the day comes that you don’t want it anymore.’’
Negan’s arms around her felt like a sturdy shield, offering both comfort and assurance. The simplicity of his words to her echoed in the quiet space around them, a straightforward promise amidst the unpredictable and cruel world beyond Sanctuary.
‘’Well it won’t, Negan. Ever. You hear me?’’
‘’I do,’’ whispered Negan gently, his voice a soft murmur that wrapped around Maggie like a tender caress.
It was almost perfect, she thought. If it weren’t for that smile that faltered, the one he tried to hide as they crossed into darkness. He heard her alright, but Negan didn’t believe it. Didn’t believe her. Maggie could see it in his eyes that the man wanted to, but he just couldn’t.
The young woman bit her lip in frustration, but only sighed and buried her head in the hollow of his shoulder.
Maggie knew her words might never be enough. That Negan may never be fully convinced no matter how much she said and did to argue otherwise. After all, the man did kill the last person she loved like this.
But maybe – just maybe – Negan will. Maybe one day he’ll believe he’d done enough to deserve me. Does he? Will he ever? Even I don’t know, but I don’t care. I chose him, and that’s all that matters. I need him, and he needs me. I want him. I love him regardless, and he loves me too.
Maggie understood that it was more than just that for the man. Negan needed more, to feel like he belonged rather just having her. She understood all too well the conflict warring within his heart.
Negan, he feels right. Being with him feels right. But it isn’t the same with him. For him, being with me feels wrong. He feels he doesn’t belong.
It wasn’t easy to have the man forget about their shared past if only for a moment. To make Negan smile and laugh and be himself with her. To give in to what they both desired and needed.
But then she’d see that charming smile of his fade away and his laughter slowly die out. He’d remember again who he was and is, who she herself used to be, and even though Maggie had her newfound love right within her arms, Negan would be miles away from her.
Maggie hated it with every ounce of her being, but she couldn’t fault the man. It took her a long time to accept it herself. To realize that she desired him and to accept it rather than reject what she was feeling in her heart.
Maggie knew Negan was no different. Struggling with what his heart wanted and needed; on the precipice of accepting but hesitating to cross that line. To go all in holding nothing back. She let go of the past entirely, but it clung to Negan. Whether he wanted it to or not, the past sank its teeth into her lover and refused to go.
It frustrated Maggie to no end, but it also reaffirmed her love even more for the man that he would consider her so thoroughly.
Negan didn’t jump at the chance to be hers and cement himself permanently in her life. He was considering what he thought to be in her best interest. She loved him for thinking about her well-being. She did. But what Negan thought was best for her was him leaving for good or dying by her hand, and that she couldn’t love. That she couldn’t let happen.
She didn’t like it, but Maggie understood. It was a big change after all. For her this decision was made after weeks of contemplation. For Negan, it was only a matter of hours for the both of them to go from bitter enemies to cherished lovers.
It took Maggie a long time for that feeling of wrongness to change to what it is now, and the young woman could only place her hope in that time would do the same for Negan. That one day soon being with her felt right, too.
It won’t be easy. It ain’t. But I’m one stubborn woman. I’m his woman – his angel – and in the face of every doubt, every shadow of the past that lingers between us, I’ll stand by him. Negan does belong with me, just as I belong with him. I am right for him, just as he’s right for me.
As they descended to the ground floor, the air was thick with unspoken emotions. Maggie broke the silence with a question that lingered in the frigid air, ’’Do you think it’s selfish of me to want to be happy, Negan?’’
Without hesitation the older man shook his head. ‘’Course not baby girl. It’s what you deserve.’’
A warm smile graced Maggie’s lips against his shoulder, her voice tender as she confessed, ‘’And I am. Against all odds, despite everything that’s happened to me…I am. And it’s because of you. I don’t hate you anymore, Negan. I did for so very long, but when you gave me this happiness I feel right now – something I didn’t think I’d ever have again – I traded all that hate away. Traded it just for the chance that I’d have more. What you did to me that night I first met you, I let it go. I let Glenn go. The hate and the bitterness, I let it go for good so that I could be happy and love again. And I didn’t make the wrong choice. I don’t regret it, not now or ever. I chose you, and I chose right.’’
Maggie narrowed her emeralds and crossed her arms, her expression daring Negan to argue otherwise.
Negan didn’t. The man didn’t smile or sigh, or try to laugh off her words. He just held the young woman in his arms closer to his chest as he continued to walk towards their destination. In a hushed and solemn tone barely audible above the howling winds, he whispered to her, ‘’My heart is yours. I won’t let you down Maggie. I won’t.’’
A soft, radiant smile bloomed on Maggie’s face, and without a word, she gently placed her hand on Negan’s cheek. Her touch was tender, guiding him to lower his head, and as their eyes met she pressed a sweet, reassuring kiss on his lips.
Pulling back she whispered, ‘’I know you won’t. I never doubted my faith in you, Negan.’’ Her deep, dark emeralds glimmered with affection and gratitude, but also a hint of helplessness.
Her body still hummed from his touch, and she could hear his heart longing for hers. It wouldn’t be easy, but she was never one to give up, especially for the one she loved. She’d chip away at his fears and doubts, affirm he belonged with her day and night. So long as he stayed and never let go of her, nothing else mattered. No problem was too great so long as they were together.
‘’You’re going to drive me insane one of these days, you know that, handsome?’’ whispered Maggie lovingly as she combed her fingers through his unkempt beard, raking her nails softly against his chiseled jaw hidden underneath.
Negan smirked at her remark. ‘’Part of the charm, baby girl. Part of the charm. Admit it, that’s what you like about me most.’’
And just like that she was chuckling and rolling her eyes, her stormy thoughts scattered by his toothy grin. ‘’You’re a handful Negan, that’s for damned sure,’’ declared Maggie playfully. ‘’But that’s what I like about you. That and yes, your charm – as irritating as it can be sometimes.’’
Her fingers playfully poked at his chest, a gentle but teasing gesture. ‘’What else do you like about me, handsome? Apart from my ass and my green eyes,’’ she quipped with a mischievous grin.
He never did finish that thought earlier this morning. He told her what he liked then before they started opening their hearts further to one another. Told her all about his love for her smile and her ‘’sexy’’ long legs as he put it, and of course her eyes, which she already knew about from the way he’d get lost in them so easily.
Caught off guard, Negan burst out laughing as he was wholly unprepared for Maggie’s remark. The ground factory floor that they arrived upon – despite the subtle stench of death and decay - echoed with the genuine sound of surprise and amusement, creating an infectious atmosphere shared between the two newfound lovers.
However, Negan’s laughter was abruptly tempered by a subtle wince, a momentary flicker of vulnerability that marred his face. The stitches on his side protested against the strain, serving as a tangible reminder of his recent injury.
The room seemed to hold its breath for a moment, the lighthearted atmosphere momentarily interrupted by the reminder of Negan’s recent injury.
Maggie’s smirk faded, her brows furrowing in worry as she reached out with a touch of concern. ‘’Easy there darlin. Put me down if you need to. I don’t want you tearing open your stitches again.’’
Negan kissed her on her forehead before reassuring her, saying softly with a touch of affection, ‘’I’m alright, baby girl. Just laughed a little too hard. Mhm. Now let’s see…other than that plump ass of yours and those lovely jewels you got for eyes, you forgot to mention your breasts. I love those too,’’ said Negan with a teasing smirk.
Maggie scrunched her nose playfully before narrowing her eyes at him. ‘’Oh really? Is that all you like about me?’’
‘’I love these,’’ said Negan after squeezing her thighs. ‘’You got adorable little hands and feet too. I remember thinking to myself a while back how you sure could pack a punch with those little hands of yours. Didn’t think you were ticklish neither. Guess I found your secret~’’
Negan winked and chuckled ominously, to which Maggie curled her toes at remembering all the times he tickled the bottom of her soles and nearly made her squeal.
Maggie scoffed, rolled her emeralds before smiling. She smacked him lightly on the chest. ‘’Knock it off. I got sensitive feet, alright? You’re lucky I didn’t knock a tooth loose when I kicked you in the face last night. Not that you wouldn’t have deserved it for playin’ with me like that.’’
‘’What can I say, baby girl? I’m like the big bad wolf. You start wiggling those little piggies at me and I can’t help but huff and puff and want to take a bite,’’ Negan declared with a wolfish glint in his eyes. He lifted his head and let out a soft, theatrical howl that echoed throughout Sanctuary. Then – in a playful flourish – he leaned down and pretended to bite at her feet, his teeth making a comical clicking noise.
Maggie shook her head in disbelief, but it didn’t stop a charming smile from blooming on her lips. ‘’You’re impossible, you know that, handsome?’’ She kissed him on his neck gently before saying, ‘’Now be serious with me. Don’t go trying to change the subject.’’
Negan was quiet for a moment as he began to carry her down the winding steps to the generator room. With his footsteps bouncing off the walls, he answered softly, ‘’You have a beautiful voice, Maggie. I cling to every word that comes out of that pretty mouth of yours. Something about it, that southern accent of yours. Never heard it around these parts before, but there’s something about it…’’
Negan trailed off wistfully, a sigh escaping him as he refocused on his descent lest they tumble. The turned on emergency lights helped, but it was sparse and few in between the winding stairs, with some gone out completely and others flickering.
Maggie turned her nose away from the smell of rust and acrid oil, instead taking deep breaths of Negan’s familiar and comforting scent instead.
The older man could feel her breath warm on his neck, a comfort of sorts rather than anything else. With the low groan of the rusted iron stairs beneath his step, he almost didn’t hear Maggie whisper against his skin breathily, ‘’I’m from Georgia, Negan. Born and raised.’’
Negan stopped at that, raising a brow in surprise before continuing down off towards their destination. ‘’No kidding? Huh. Georgia…my baby girl is from Georgia.’’
A smile crept across his face, and he couldn't contain a short, disbelieving laugh from escaping him. Before Maggie could question him, Negan suddenly said, ‘’Sweet peach.’’
Maggie tilted her head up at him, confusion evident in her emerald eyes.
‘’What?’’
‘’Sweet peach,’’ repeated Negan, only this time in a softer, more affectionate tone. ‘’Another nickname I got for you, Maggie. After all, you’re from the Peach State. Georgia.’’ Negan’s smile brightened as he continued, ‘’Who would have thought? Growing up as a kid, my favorite fruit to eat were peaches. Especially that white flesh variety. Floral and sweet, they always hit the right spot on a hot day.’’
Maggie, still processing everything that Negan had said, opened her mouth to speak. Just as she parted her lips however, Negan swooped down to capture her mouth with his in a tender kiss. Taken aback by his suddenness, Maggie could only moan into his mouth before his tongue twined with hers.
‘’Yeah, I thought so,’’ murmured Negan as he pulled away, licking the saliva that belonged to her off the corner of his lips. ‘’Couldn’t figure it out before since it’s been so damn long, but it’s clear as day now.’’
‘’What is?’’ asked Maggie breathlessly, still recovering from their heated kiss. She was breathing hard and rough, gazing up at him with hunger in her dark emeralds as she put a hand to his chest.
‘’The way you taste, baby girl,’’ replied Negan huskily, his baritone voice a low rumble that resonated with desire. ‘’Like my favorite sweet peach.’’
The way he said it and the look in his eyes sent shivers down Maggie’s spine, her belly dancing a spell from the worship held in his eyes for her.
Sweet peach, thought Maggie tenderly in her heart as Negan gently set her down on the steps. They had reached their destination, but before he could let go of her, Maggie wrapped her arms securely around his neck.
Still in his arms and with a teasing smile daring for more, Maggie asked him while reaching for another kiss, ‘’Is your sweet peach hitting all the right spots then, darlin?’’
‘’Hmm.’’ He chuckled softly as he went down on one knee before her. ‘’Let’s find out,’’ murmured Negan entrancedly as he parted her lips with his tongue to savor the taste of her once more.
Negan’s hands traced gentle patterns on her back, and Maggie responded with a soft moan, her eyes fluttering to a close as she became lost in the sensation of his lips against hers. Her hands drifted away, her arms unclasping from his neck so that her fingers could roam freely.
Maggie threaded her slender fingers through Negan’s wild mane of hair greying and black, brushed feathering touches against the scar across his throat. The young woman felt him swallow at her touch, felt his hands begin to roam downward towards her waist and further south.
Please, thought Maggie needily, but there it was again – that reluctance to go further. Just as Negan’s’ fingers began to slip through her waistband to access the bare flesh hidden beneath, the man withdrew with regained clarity in his eyes blacker than coal.
The young woman could see the reluctance in them as Negan pulled away, felt it in the way his breath – harsh and charged darkly with desire – mingled with hers scorching fiercely with need and want.
Negan ran his tongue languidly against his bottom lip as he worked to catch his breath. He felt the aching sting from the split on his lip still yet to heal – a tantalizing reminder of Maggie’s fierce and passionate fervor – and he couldn’t help but smirk in response as he remembered all the times she bit and pulled on his lip with her teeth, drawing his blood all the while.
‘’You sure as hell hit all the right spots, Maggie,’’ Negan remarked, his voice a gravelly mixture of both satisfaction and longing. Reluctantly, he released his hold on her and moved to stand, but not before pressing a smoldering, lingering kiss onto her lips one last time to convey the love held in his heart for her.
‘’But damn, sweet peach,’’ he continued, his tone now a low, heavy murmur in her ear. ‘’Damn do you make want more and more.’’ The words hung in the air thick with the promise of untamed desire, and Maggie bit her lip to trap the whimper that threatened to escape her.
Her racing heart only began to calm itself when Negan finally moved away, but it wasn’t without a sense of loss that ached dully in her chest. The young woman could feel the fabric of her panties clinging to her pulsating sex wet and dripping with need, and it was all because of the man who towered before her.
Because of him. For him. Even before I realized my feelings for him in my heart, my body knew. Where before I was physically repulsed just at the sight of the man, now…
Now she’d been strung high by Negan ever since he washed her at the lake, and it took nearly everything she had not to give in to her carnal hunger to strip him bare. To nip, bite and kiss – rake her nails harshly against his skin and mark him as hers again and again. To cross that final line alongside him to cement themselves truly as together with nothing held back.
Maggie shot him a glare the moment he turned to walk away, her dark emeralds gleaming with resentment for leaving her in this state again.
Negan chuckled as he walked further into the room, a blatant tell that he knew full well what he was doing to her. Maggie snorted, but didn’t pursue it any further than showing her dissatisfaction.
You’ll get what’s comin’ to you soon enough, handsome. And when that time comes you better pray I’m in a good mood.
Maggie knew in her heart that it wasn’t any easier for Negan to hold back than it was for her. The inner turmoil within the man was clear as day in his eyes, and if not that then the tent in his pants was evidence enough.
Still, despite her small resentment, Maggie loved that he held back in consideration for her. He really was giving her every chance to turn back and say no, change her mind before they crossed the point of no return.
Kissing, touching and all the like were one thing. It definitely changed their relationship from what it was before, but it wasn’t permanent. It could still be excused, left behind to wither in time and be forgotten, if not discarded altogether as just a mistake. Their whispered promises and shared solemn vows could be dismissed as nothing more than emotions running high in the moment, or simply words of reassurance and comfort to get by until better days.
That final line, however…it wasn’t something to be mistaken. It was a line that couldn’t be uncrossed, a boundary etched like a scar upon the flesh for eternity, and they both sensed the gravity of it.
Their shared promises that held love, need and want – it all led to that finish line where all fated lovers came to be and inevitably crossed. The pinnacle of trust and love, of coming together as one forevermore. Their relationship as it stood now, once defined by mere words and fleeting touches, would then be carved indelibly.
A mark permanent for all eternity. Negan didn’t mind me doing so on him to show that he belongs to me, even gleeful and thinking it was sexy that I did, but he’s very hesitant to do the same. To mark me permanently as his.
The young woman had a very clear understanding of everything now. The more she got to know Negan, the better she learned of his inner thoughts and the reasons inlaid beneath his actions.
From his hesitance to sleep naked with her in bed last night to wanting to keep his distance, Maggie understood why now. Negan wanted her clear as day, but in his heart she would never belong to him. Never be what was right for her.
As for him belonging to me, etching my initial over his heart wasn’t the start to Negan thinking he belonged to me. He’s felt that way ever since the day I confronted him in his cell. From then to now he’s believed his life is entirely in my hands, to kill or be let go. That’s why he never minded what I did to him last night, why he wasn’t angry like I thought he’d be when he found it after looking in the mirror.
Maggie felt like a hand was squeezing her heart as she came to the sudden realization. Her emeralds blurred with tears, but she blinked them away quickly before they could fall and took a deep breath to stabilize herself.
No. It ain’t just about our past. It’s his fear of failing me.
There in that moment, the weight of understanding settled on her shoulders. Negan's hesitance to mark her, despite his willingness to bear a mark of ownership, wasn’t just a result of their past. He wanted her and needed her all the same as she did him, but the idea of possessing her in a way that was irreversible seemed to stir a deep-seated fear within him.
It’s because of her. Lucille… Negan is afraid to try again because of her. Afraid that he’ll lose me, too. That’s why he talked about his original promise. Why he spoke about the enemies he’d made along the way becoming mine.
His words echoed in her mind then. I just want you to be safe, Maggie. I need you to be, and being with me is the furthest thing from that.
Maggie felt this fear of his on a personal level, if not greater. She was just as afraid of trying again only for it all to come crashing down. After that day at the lake, she began to realize what she felt for the man, and even when she accepted her newfound feelings for Negan, Maggie wasn’t sure what to do with them.
However, everything changed after yesterday. Something inside her snapped when the realization hit that Negan was in danger, that there was a very real chance she might never see him again.
But it was only when the gunshots echoed like thunder in the wind – and the image of his back turned to her as he disappeared into the fog of snow played in her mind – that something within her shattered irreparably.
As she raced to get to him amidst the harsh storm, her mind relentlessly replayed over and over again their first kiss, the memory etched vividly with the way he smiled softly at her before promising to return to her always. Her mind played nightmares of his death as she fell and got up, weathered through the blizzard to get to him.
Maggie instinctively put a hand to her chest, feeling the rapid beating of her heart as she looked to Negan before her. I know now what it was. What broke was my heart that day. The thought of him leaving me forever broke the heart he’d worked day and night to repair.
Despair and regret pierced her, a sharp pain accompanying each step she took in her struggle to reach him. Despair that he might be dead, and with him, her heart for good. Regret that she hadn’t spoken up to keep him with her, to go where he went.
Maggie quickly turned her thoughts away from thinking about it any longer. The young woman sensed that if she didn’t, another panic attack would grip her like the night before.
She never wanted to experience again what she felt when Negan walked away from her as she soaked in the bathtub, or when she woke up to him not in bed with her in the middle of the night. That immense dread that squeezed her heart, the fear of being alone that clouded her mind, drowning her in darkness without light.
Already her hands began to tremble, her breathing beginning to shallow. Maggie felt a tightening in her chest as her thoughts threatened to slip further, as she wrestled with the fear that Negan might be lost to her forever, and with him her heart, mind and soul.
Stop it! He’s right there in front of you! He isn’t gone. He isn’t! Negan is right there in front of you. He’s right there…
She peered up at Negan from the curtain of hair that veiled her face. A blanket of darkness cloaked all but her glimmering emeralds tinged with possessiveness as they reflected the image of the man in her eyes.
I can’t let you go, thought Maggie desperately in her heart. I won’t! You are the light of my life. I’ll break without you, Negan.
In Maggie's bejeweled green eyes, a kaleidoscope of emotions unfolded — love, fear, determination, and fragility all intermingling. Each nuance painted her gaze with possessiveness as she fixed her intense gaze on the man before her, the one who stole her heart and became the sole light in her world.
Negan’s heart belongs to me. He promised he won’t leave. He promised he’d take care of me always. I’m his, and he’s mine.
Reassured with that thought and focusing entirely on the presence of Negan before her, the tightening in Maggie’s chest eased, the trembling of her hands stilled, and her breathing returned to normal.
The weight of Negan's promises acted as a balm to her soul, the sight of him alive and breathing a soothing reassurance that eased her fear until it could no longer be felt.
Maggie shifted herself to get comfortable, finding a quiet solace against the sturdy wall where she perched on the steps. With a contemplative gaze, the young woman rested a hand under her chin, observing Negan as he moved gracefully amidst the dimly lit surroundings. The feeble light from the ceiling cast a subdued glow, highlighting the contours of his face as he inspected the array of machinery.
‘’This is where you took me last night when I passed out. The generator room, right? What are we doing here?’’
The young woman saw Negan rolling up his sleeves, his head turning and scanning the heavy machinery that surrounded him with a pensive look on his face. She was quick to discern that out of the several generators, the one that gave them the ability to survive the storm outside was the sole machine marked in white as number 3.
Is there a problem with it? thought Maggie worriedly.
Negan shook his head and clicked his tongue, his hand combing through his hair as he turned to her.
‘’This is the place alright,’’ replied Negan, his voice laced with fatigue. ‘’Last night I ran the priming sequence on all six of these auxiliary generators, but only number three is working.’’
Every rattling cough from the generator echoed the collective heartbeat of their survival, and Negan – with a mix of pragmatism and determination – sought to keep that heartbeat strong.
‘’The diesel in the generator can last us enough time – about a week or so – for me to siphon whatever remains out of the other five and transfer it to this one’s fuel tank. What I’m concerned about, however, is the stress we’re putting it through. I assumed that since it would only be powering the third floor and the emergency lights to the rest of the factory we’d be fine, but it’s sputtering. If it blows I don’t have the tools or the know-how on fixing it. At least not these ones. These were specially modified for Sanctuary.’’
Maggie's brow furrowed with concern as Negan outlined the precarious situation they found themselves in. Her gaze flickered to the generator, its rhythmic hum intermittently interrupted by a coughing noise filling the tense air around them.
His words about the plan for the diesel offered a small comfort, but the underlying concern about the machine's well-being gnawed at her. This was their lifeline to surviving the harshest part of winter, and without it…
‘’Is there anything we can do?’’ asked Maggie lightly. She looked at him, her expression of worry easing as she reminded herself that no matter what problem they faced, they’d face it together.
‘’It depends,’’ admitted Negan honestly before shrugging his shoulders. ‘’It might not be due to stress after all, but that something is wrong with the internal parts of the generator. The others all failed to start, but this one didn’t. However, it did take a while. If I was a betting man…’’
Negan sighed deeply. ‘’Hmm. Could be that there’s not enough fuel. Or maybe the damn thing is just past its prime,’’ muttered Negan with slight frustration.
Maggie kept silent, allowing Negan to process his thoughts and work on tinkering with the machine. There was something about the way he honed in on the problem, fully focused on solving the situation at hand that soothed her frayed nerves and caused her heart to skip a beat.
He always looks so attractive when he works seriously, that handsome man of mine.
It wasn’t the first time she saw him like this. Somehow someway he always found a path forward. When all else seemed impossible and bleak, Negan never stopped or faltered. Even at the expense of his own health, he kept her safe and alive.
Determination. Negan’s determined to keep his promise of keeping me safe. That’s what it is, but…there’s this desperation as well in his eyes. He don’t want to fail me. The way you did things before at your own expense, I won’t let you anymore. I need you safe and healthy, too. I need you to be happy with me.
Negan suddenly laughed, breaking her out of her thoughts.
‘’Turns out the fuel lines on this thing are all jacked up. No wonder.’’ Negan turned to her and smiled. ‘’That’s why the damn thing is spluttering. It’s not getting enough diesel because the fuel lines are pinched, and because of that the power is being throttled,’’ he explained.
Negan came over to her and kissed Maggie atop her mess of curls. The joy at figuring out what was wrong with the generator was clear as day on his face, and it made her smile in turn – a flush to her cheeks as Negan’s thumb grazed over her cheekbone.
‘’Thankfully we got spare parts, sweet peach. Should be a breeze taking out the fuel lines from the other generators and using them for the one working. You don’t mind waiting a bit, do you?’’
Maggie shook her head and leaned into his touch for moment. A contented sigh escaped her lips as she savored the warmth of his hand cradling her face. With a gentle pull on his arm, she had him lean over so that she could give him a tender kiss on the lips.
‘’Don’t worry about me. Take your time, handsome,’’ said Maggie softly as she brushed her nose against his.
Negan smiled and nodded. ‘’I won’t take long, promise.’’
With the lingering kiss shared between them, Negan returned back to working on the generator and taking out the required fuel lines from the others that still had them intact.
Maggie smiled to herself as she watched Negan work, enjoyed the sense of peace he gave to her. Even though it was cold down in the generator room, the young woman was full of warmth.
And it’s because of you, my love.
