Zenith [pov]

Creak. Creak.

I struggle to close the door on my husband.

“H-Honey, isn’t that a little cruel?” Paul uttered.

“You wanna talk about cruelty?” I shoot him a look through the cracks.

“Sorry, bad choice of words, but I really do want to talk.”

“Good for you. There's a wall right there.”

Creak. I pushed harder.

Stupid.

Bonk.

Steel-toed.

Bonk.

Shoes!

“S-sweetie, p-please let’s talk. We haven’t talked since that night.”

I peek through the opening, seeing his pleading form, before relenting, and letting him in.

“Hmph, fine, might as well. It looks like you’re not going anywhere, you might as well come in. You’re letting the cold in.” Stepping away from the door, I give him a pass.

“Thank you,” he made his way in slowly, on guard, as if waiting for another push.

Tempting.

Sitting on the chair, I decide to wait until my son arrives.

He wants to talk, he can talk. That doesn’t mean I have to listen. I’ll simply read a book. Now where did I throw it?

Rudy should be here soon. I can endure a few minutes.

“Dear, honey… I… I am sorry. I know I did something unforgivable, that I hurt you, but I really am sorry. Can’t you take me back? Please? Don’t you miss me?” He said pleadingly.

I shoot him a look.

“...ok maybe not, but don’t you think this is a bit much. We can’t be a family if I sleep out all the time. It’s cold out there. Don’t you think it would be better for our family if you took me back and forgave me.”

Not happening, and It’s cold out? Who knew~ Oh, I did.

“Dear?”

“What do you want?”

“I’d like to come back home.”

“No.”

“Dear!”

“Why don’t you ask one of the village women to take you in? What was her name again, Ada was it? Why don’t you go to her house? I’m sure she’ll gladly open her doors for you.”

As well as her legs.

“A-Ada, why would Ada open her doors to me?”

I narrowed my eyes.

“Don’t insult me. There's only so much free time a person can have. That woman shows up all the time when you’re training. She’s been showing up more lately, now that you're outside. How many times has she shown up while you’re camping?”

From time to time I peek outside my bedroom window to check on him, only to see a brown haired woman giving him a warm drink.

“Um… ah, she hasn-”

“And don’t you dare lie to me! If you care about me at all, you will not lie to me!”

“...A lot… I don’t keep track. But she shows up every other day.”

That hussy. Her… him… everyone… they're all taking me for a fool.

Have they had sex as well?

“Have you…” I let the sentence trail.

Just because I can think it, doesn’t mean I can say it.

“No. I haven’t. Like I said; the time with Lilia was a mistake. I’m sorry I hurt you. But it really was a moment of weakness. I know how that sounds, but I truly mean it. I was stupid. I wasn’t thinking. I just… did it without thinking. Please let me come home,” he grabs my hand, patting the back of it gently. “I’m sorry.”

I should slap it away… I should… but…

“How do I know I can trust you?” I look away from him.

“Zenith,” he cusps my chin, gently, as he turns it slowly to look at him. Our eyes met. “I promise you, I won’t lay a hand on that woman. That was… something I truly regret, it was not worth sacrificing what we have. She is… a mistake. I have no intention of touching her.”

“I… I want to trust you, but I-”

“Do it. Trust me. If you do, I won’t let you down. Besides, where else can you keep a closer eye on me then from inside our own house. Will you please take me back in?”

“I…”

“Zenith, what does your heart want?” He closes in, bringing our faces intimately closer.

Closing my eyes I… brace for a kiss…

Knock. Knock.

…before a knocking at my door, wakes me.

No! Nevermore.

As someone arrived at the door, they brought the clarity I desperately needed. Coming to a realization of what he’s trying to do, and what we’re doing, I grab his face, and push him backwards, dropping him on his rear.

Not this time.

Upon his fall I stand, and make my way to the door. “You can’t kiss your way out of this.” I told him as someone opened the door.

“Mom, I’m sorry for being so late. I was training with Sylphy when I-” Rudy steps in, before he notices what’s going on. Narrowing his eyes, he glances around the room before settling on Paul. “I thought that horse looked familiar,” he whispered, redirecting his gaze at me. “Is everything alright?”

“Me and your mom were just talking-”

“And finishing.” I interjected. “Your father was just talking. Let's go Rudy. It's a long walk.”

Walking back to the table, I pick up my satchel, and try to pick up the suitcase next to it that has a few miscellaneous things from here.

Heavy…

Emphasis on try.

“…Rudy…”

“Yeah, I got you,” grabbing the suitcase, he holds the door for me.

“Dear…” Paul whispers.

Standing at the doorway, I show my husband my back, as I exhale, ready to turn around and say give him the lashing he deserves.

“You want to come back inside, you want to fix this, you want me to take you back, well I-” I turn, preparing to scream-

Then I see him. Then I truly see him. With clarity, I see… my husband. I see my pitiful husband. I see his scraggly unshaven face. I see his bloodshot eyes. I see his unkempt clothes, and dirty armor. And I feel his sadness pour through. I haven’t seen him so pitiful since his father died.

The words died in my mouth.

Why is my heart so weak?

I turn my head to the side.

Damn, I’m too soft.

“When you’re done with your rounds you can come back in, but you’re sleeping in the guest room,” I whisper, but in the empty room, my voice echoes clear as day.

His eyes lit up. “Honey!” He makes a grab for me.

Before I throw out a palm stopping him.

“But! Don’t think for a moment, I’ve forgiven you. I just want you where I can see you. That is all. You’re allowed inside the house, but that’s it! Don’t think for a second you can touch me,” I let my arm down.

I have not forgiven you, but I also don’t hate you, not completely. I should, but I don’t.

I’m allowing him back into the house, but that’s it. Yes, that’s it.

I feel something warm. Turning to Rudy at my side, I feel a small amount of heat emanating from him, his eyes twinkling a faint green deep in his irises.

Was Rudy about to cast something?

“Let's go Rudy,” I declared.

“...Yes…”
///

I made such a decision at the spur of the moment, but… I don’t think Rudy was happy with it.

“Rudy, are you mad at me?”

A few minutes have passed, and we’re now half-way home. Walking along the snow filled path, Rudy has been rather cold to me. He’s avoiding talking to me.

“No, I'm not.”

…but you’re not talking to me.

“Really?”

“Really.”

No you’re clearly mad at me, you're even pouting.

“I see… is that suitcase too heavy for you? We can take a break before we get there.” I proposed.

“It’s fine. I’m letting my toki flow through me. I can carry any burden. Any…” he continued walking silently.

Rudy…

“I just… I just want him inside the house, you know, where I can see him. I don’t want him doing anything stupid again,” I reasoned.

Having my husband outside was a novel idea at first, he most certainly deserved it, but it doesn’t set me completely at ease. And…

There's still a small chance we can work things out, right?

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

I don’t want him to be mad at me. After my husband's betrayal he has been my rock, my pillar, my pillow? And I’d hate it if we suddenly reverted to what we were simply because of the weakness in my heart.

He faces me, and pauses for a moment. Before sighing.

“...I said it’s fine, really. You don’t have to justify anything to me. I’m your son, whatever you do with your husband is your choice. I shouldn’t be involved.”

“I just don’t want Rudy to be unhappy with me…”

Rudy tightened his hold on my arm. “I just want you to be happy, that’s fine with me.”

“Rudyyy!” I squeezed his arm back. Nuzzling my face next to his.

Why did I ever think you didn’t love me? I’m glad you’re here.

While thinking that, I hear some trotting behind us, and see Paul coming down the road. He slows down to a gallop and greets us, “See you later honey,” he turns to our son, “Rudy…”

“Paul…”

I might be angry with Paul, but a part of me still loves him. Rudy… Rudy on the other hand looks at his father with barely concealed disgust.

They nod, acknowledging each other's existence, before parting ways.

At least they can do that much.

I hope this is the right decision.
///

Rudy [pov]

Of course I wasn’t happy with her decision.

But what can I do? I’m not gonna force her to be unhappy, just to placate my feelings. She should be happy, my feelings on Paul aren’t important in this happenstance.

The original Rudeus used his own standing to convince Paul and Zenith to stay together. Convincing them that for the sake of the family, no, for the sake of him, that they should stay together.

How fucking absurd.

A marriage is built on trust, love, and sincerity. You don’t have to be a social guru to understand that a marriage built on anything but that, would be unstable, and would fall like a house of cards. A wife and a husband should not stay together for someone else's sake. Not even if that other person is their own son. A loveless marriage that’s only being held together for the sake of appearances could only ever end one way.

That’s not a marriage. That’s a play. You’re just playing husband and wife at that point.

What a farce.

That said, I can’t say anything about it. In her emotional state my words have a lot of influence, I can sway her one way, or another, but then it wouldn’t be her decision but mine. I shouldn’t do that. That will just be the same thing Rudeus did, but in the opposite direction.

So I'll hold my tongue.

Following our talk, what simply followed was our everyday interactions; a good meal, a good wash up, and a bit of casual reading, though I’m finding those ‘fantasy’ stories rather lukewarm now, but what can you do?

Doesn’t matter. In the end we got all we need between us.

“Rudy, do you think I’m weak for taking your father back?” Zenith asked.

Yet, Zenith still insists on airing out her worries.

I don’t think I did a good job at hiding my dissatisfaction, as evident by the fact that Zenith keeps dropping questions like this from time to time.

Now with the day behind us, we are back in the bedroom getting ready to go to bed. Per usual, we’re wearing our sleepwear. Her, a nightgown, and me with a thin shirt and shorts. Both of us ready to slip into slumberland, and put this everything behind us.

At least I thought so.

I get it, I truly do, but let’s simply go to bed already.

I should temper my anger better less my poker face breaks.

“I think that what the heart wants doesn't always correlate with what you should want,” I say.

Hint. Hint. Nudge. Nudge.

Stop being so insecure woman. I can’t make every decision for you, what am I, your father?

This daddy does not remember giving birth to you.

…

Ok, that fell flat.

This is why I don’t say everything that pops into my head.

Note to self; study under a comedian.

I prepare the blanket, giving it a good shake, before throwing it over her, and slipping into bed.

Heat Hands.

Casting as I do so. I don’t think she’s noticed yet, but I’ve been using heating magic to keep us warm for several nights now.

Ahhh… that’s the stuff… does this count as a Kotatsu?

That’s it!

Important note to self! Add Kotatsu to the list of inventions I need to make.

…and profit.

Lost in thought, I barely notice Zenith snuggling next to me, and wrapping me in her arms. “You won’t leave me Rudy… right?” She asks, her voice shaky.

…

Well… damn…

Of all the things she could have asked, but… I’ve already thought hard about this.

“I’m right here Mama,” I look her dead in the eye. Eyes are windows to the soul after all. “I have no intention of leaving you during your time of need. I want to be by your side, and I will, so,” I caress her face while I stare at her baby blues, “don’t worry I’m right here.”

For now.

We’re looking into each other’s eyes, and I noticed the bright smile that strikes her face.

Radiant… but…

I also feel a little guilty.

Everything I said was the truth, but I left out a few details.

She gives me a peck on the forehead, before shining her radiant smile upon me, and hugging me tighter into her. “Thank you. Good night, Rudy.”

She really pulls at my heartstrings…

“Good night, Mom.”

Honestly you’re too good for me.

We hold each other tightly, and go to sleep.
///

…or at least that is what I would like to say.

Now I’m the one with unsung worries. 

Getting one of my hands out of the covers I start twirling it, directing a gust to blow the drapes. Hoping some late night star gazing would ease me to sleep.

It’s been a hell of a day.

Should I count sheep?

As we lay in the bed, I reflected on the day as I star gaze. Paul is back in the house, and Sylphy just-

Nope, na-ah, nada. Not thinking about that right now. Won’t be able to fall asleep soon if I have to tackle that can of worms so soon.

“Sigh…”

In any case, Paul is back in the house, and that means…

What does that mean?

I know the heart wants what the heart wants-

Hurk! Can a person mentally throw up? ‘cause I feel like I did. Heart wants what the heart wants? Yeah sure, too bad Paul's dick thinks louder than his heart, forget about his brain.

Ahhh… but still, this is a husband wife affair. Not mine. I can only hint, and guide, they’re the ones that have to make the decisions. There's no point in me making decisions she has to live with, considering I won’t be around for the conclusion.

Thing is it’s not even about cheating, it’s about lying.

In this world Polygamous relationships are very much real, especially for nobles, of which both these fools have ties to. If he had just talked to her about it, the harem ending he wants, he could have easily had.

The fact that it was Lilia makes you garbage, get your hands off my woman.

I understand Lilia’s appeal. God do I understand her appeal. But if you wanted a harem you should have never got married, or at least never married Zenith.

I mean; my god man you live in a world where polygamy is accepted, and socially acceptable, and where nobles have multiple wives or mistresses, of which both you and Zenith have roots in, and you decide to marry a noble of the Millis religion, which practices monogamy?

Get out of here!

But that’s beside the point. The point is you promised loyalty to her. And you didn’t. If you wanted more, you should have said so.

This is about betrayal. He knew what he was doing was wrong. If he didn’t, then he wouldn’t have kept it a secret. He knew he would be hurting her, and he chose to do it anyway.

He needs to be punished.

I massage my forehead feeling a headache coming in.

Damn.

He just had to ruin everything. What the hell was he thinking?

A harem. I get it. Harems are a man’s romance, everyone has wanted a harem once or twice at one point in their lives.

What, someone says they haven’t? Get out of town. Your fucking lying, and you know you’re lying. Harems are what man’s dreams are made of(and some girls), and if you’ve never wanted a harem, you clearly never dreamed. Hurry up and find a doctor to get you some benadryl to cure you from your insomnia.

Whoops, ranted, on my hidden passions.

Regardless… harems, I get it, you wanted one, you were thinking with your dick, and you wanted more, but you already had Zenith.

I turn to look at her sleeping figure. Angel.

This woman’s a saint.

And you would ruin that?

You're an idiot.

Theirs thinking with your dick, and then there's not thinking at all.

Once you have something you don’t want to lose, you try your hardest to hang on to it. You have to be able to separate fantasy from reality. If you already won big in a casino, you don’t go back to the dealer, and go all in. You cash out, and take your winnings home.

Are your eyes just for show, old man?

This right here...

I crawl up to Zenith's eye level, looking at her by her side, running my hand through her golden locks.

This is your treasure, and you should treasure her.

If I had her, I know I would never let her go.

I’ve spent a considerable amount of time around Lilia, and tried not to pay attention to Zenith, but even I’m not blind to Zenith’s appeal. Beautiful, kind, jubilant, loyal, and fun. She has it all and then some.

And you would ruin it for a one night-stand?

Get out of here!

I run my hand through her hair.

Lilia has a supernatural appeal. To someone like me, who came from a normal world, seeing someone with maroon colored hair that under the right lighting could turn red or even purple, she really has an ethereal appeal. Paired with violet eyes that draw you in, she is very alluring.

But that doesn’t mean I am blind to Zenith’s appeal.

Zenith is kind; healing me from my injuries, and on my side when I argue against Paul. She lets me stay late outside. She lets me do my own thing. Hell, from time to time, I’m sure she’s caught me sneaking outside in the middle of night, but she’s never said a thing.

If she didn’t give me this much leeway our relationship would be rocky.

I parted a few hairs off her forehead.

I’m thankful.

Zenith is loyal; a follower of Millis; a religion that follows the rules of monogamy, she should by all accounts leave you, but she would stay by her husband's side. In another timeline, she did as such, and was even open to the idea of marrying Lilia alongside him. Meaning; she is more understanding than you deserve.

I trace my hand down, rubbing her cheek.

“Mmmuu,” she makes some noise as she snuggles into my hand.

Who knew a housewife could be so cute?

That is the loyal kind housewife Zenith is. Perhaps a little too much, definitely too much, but I doubt Paul would have complained.

And lastly, Zenith is… well… gorgeous.

I wriggle myself closer. Placing my hands on the contours of her body, tracing her curves.

…really, ‘too much,’ appeal.

You really would have to be blind not to notice.

She has wide hips, I let one of my hands slide, feeling her outlines. She has clear blue eyes, I focus on her face, lamenting that she’s sleeping. She has flawless skin, I let my one free hand fall gently across her cheek, rubbing it with the back of my hand gently, afraid of waking her yet acknowledging her warmth.

She has…

Moving around, I pull the blanket off, revealing her figure. As well as pushing myself off a little, so I can observe her more thoroughly, from overhead.

…bewitched me.

She can really take your breath away, if you’re not careful.

I notice her steady breathing and see her chest rising up, and down, up… and down…

He clearly wasn’t thinking at all. You hit the jackpot once. You should have stopped while you were ahead.

A voluptuous figure, large breasts, cute dimples, and perfect rear end. Although, I don’t think she’ll consider the last one as a compliment, though I'll assure you it is. She has it all.

And she lays right here next to me.

Gulp.

I swallow my breath.

You would really be lucky to land a woman like her.

God dammit.

I bring my fingers to my brow, as I battle my internal demons, massaging my forehead. I’m thinking of things, I’ve tried not to think over the years.

That… that, is the other trouble of being reborn to a beautiful woman, how am I supposed to be normal. There were many complications at my birth; existentialism, mortality, and whatnot, but the problem that has persisted over the years is my relations with my mother. Simply put, It’s not possible to view her as such. She is very motherly, without a doubt, but I can’t. The problem isn’t her, but me.

I simply can’t.

I was born into this world being very aware of who I was and where I was, and who I was with. I didn’t for a moment think, at least back then, that I wanted a mother. I was thinking that I needed to move on. I needed to train. I needed power. I needed to… survive.

A mother?

That was the last thing on my mind.

And before either of us knew it, the window of opportunity where she could have reached out as a mother, or I as a son, had come and gone.

I can be close to her. I can care for her, I can even call her mom, but in my heart… in my heart, she’s simply Zenith.

It’s at times like these I’m thankful that I haven’t started going through puberty, less looking her in the eye would be difficult. I have enough on my plate.

I can’t help it. She really is a goddess.

To associate her with myself, well my vanity can only go so far.

Although, I am good looking, probably? I have no point of reference for what would be considered handsome on a guy, and I am technically a child, so I would be more cute than handsome. In any case, I can’t see myself as cute.

Her though?

It’s clear as day. Her allure cannot be denied.

I turned to look at her slumbering form one more time. Moving my hands ever so slowly, tenderly, they start tracing a path, from her cheek to her lips.

Her very alluring lips…

She is… she is… I am…

I get lost in her.

Paul took Lilia from me, but… she was… she was never mine, but… she should have never been his. To take another man’s woman. Perhaps I should show him how that feels…

Moving until my arms are positioned on either side of her, I push off so I can look down upon Zenith’s sleeping form. Looking down I can only describe the sight as divine.

Between heaven and hell; Zenith lay there.

She really is too good for him, she should have never been his.

To take someone precious…

I could…

Leaning down, I come upon her face. Only a few inches separating us. My heartbeat racing, my breath unsteady, my hand trembling, my thoughts… a convoluted mess, I lower myself, ever so slowly, as her visage comes closer, and closer… until I can feel her breathing upon my face.

I wonder if she would awaken, like in those cliches.

“...”

But no one is here to burst through the door.

In real life, interruptions are rare and few and far in between.

And so, with a moment's pause, I am near her lips. Only an inch separating us. Closer than I’ve ever been. Closer than I should. Close enough to inhale her scent, close enough to… to take what I want. I could…

I…

Lost in thought… Ever so closer, I-

“Paul…” she whispers. A faint tear slides down her cheek.

…I hear the whispers of her heart.

“...”

Coming to my senses, I halt over her lips. Only a fraction of a centimeter separating us. I step off a little, and look down at her truly.

There is a tear sliding down her cheek.

“Dammit,” slamming the brakes, I threw myself to the side and off her, letting myself flop on the bed. “Ha… ha… ha…” steadying my breathing.

What the hell is wrong with me? Then again, what is right?

I guess I can’t ignore the elephant in the room any longer. Hormones or no hormones, I’m attracted to her.

My equipment might not be reacting, but my heart?

I might have a heart attack.

Have I always been, or is this something new?

God if I know.

Then again, maybe this is why I avoided her all these years. Because subconsciously, I already knew how things would end.

How messed up.

I can’t help it, she isn’t my mother after all.

…or maybe she is?

But clearly… I’m not her son.

A mother may be someone different to different people. Different people, different cultures. Some would answer that a mother is the woman that raised you, others the one you share blood with.

To me it’s something much more complex. As someone that had a mother once, before dying, I’m confident in my definition.

A mother is not someone you share blood with. A mother is not even someone that takes care of you. A mother is not the woman your father marries. A mother to me is… someone that is so intrinsically attached to you, that you take them for granted. Like air or water. They are a necessity to our frail existence that keeps us living.

At least that is how I view things.

She is someone you need.

It’s about being there. No, It’s about ‘needing’ to be there. A bond formed by the frailty of the child, and the love of the mother.

Something I wasn’t receptive to in those days.

I had a mother once. She wasn’t particularly motherly. She was pretty strict. You might even call her rude, but… she was my mother.

I got sick. I got injured. I got lost.

Like all kids were once, I was stupid, but I had a mother to help me along the way. I was injured; I was healed. I was sick; I was nurtured. I was lost; I was guided.

The difference between an adult and a child is that an adult can be all these things, but he can still make it through by himself. An adult doesn’t need a mother, he wants one.

In essence; the relationship between a child and parent is one born out of necessity. Through that need, the child and parent would grow closer, and in a way that is hard to define, trust me I tried, they would get closer, their beings becoming irreplaceable to the other.

An; I needed you, and in return you get my heart, kind of relationship, that’s how it works.

But I wasn’t born like that.

At many times in this mess I call my life, I needed somebody, anybody, but it didn’t have to be a mother. Whether it was sickness or injury, I powered through on my own, or had a hand from a young blue haired demon, or a redheaded maid instead.

…and even if they didn’t help. I would have still found my way.

Stumbling, and tripping along the way, as is my nature, but I would have found it.

So no matter how much affection she gives me, no matter how much care she gives, I just can not see her like that.

Looking at Zenith’s sleeping face by my side, I can’t deny she is beautiful. Yet, she is also my… my important person… at least that much I could say.

I could kiss her. I could do all that, but I won’t.

If I did, then I’d truly wouldn’t be no different than Paul.

Ahh, what a mess.

Turning over onto her side and facing her, I reach out, and clean the tears from her face, tracing my thumb along its path.

Paul… you’re a moron.

“A man shouldn’t make his woman cry.” I move my hand to her forehead, “Heal,” and cast a spell, bathing her in a green glow, earning a twitch of her brow. Moving my hand to her pregnant stomach, “Heal,” I cast one more for good measure.

It might not heal emotional damage, but the pleasant feeling it invokes should give her a good night's sleep.

I let my hand fall back to the side of her face, and clean the spot tears laid.

A wife is someone that holds your heart, it only makes sense that you would treat her as your very heart.

For the nth time tonight, I lean down upon Zenith’s lips once more, bending down, my heart calmer.

And for a moment just thinking; If I were a lesser man…

But I don’t want to hurt her, so…

I tilt my head to the side and kiss her, on the corner of her cheek, at the edge of her lips.

This will have to do.

This is as close as I’m going to get. Anything else, would be a betrayal.

“Good night, Zeny.” Finally, I remove my hands, grab the blanket, and drape it over us, snuggling closer, and calling it a night.

“Sweet dreams.”

With this I can get a good night's rest.
///

Despite the harrowing beginnings of winter, the Greyrat household slept comfortably knowing they made strides for a better tomorrow.

A husband was overjoyed at finally having a conversation with his wife, and plans on how he could break the divide. A maid was weighing her options and wondered if she should make the young master's favorite, or the madame’s favorite meal tomorrow. And lastly, said young masters of the house were enjoying each other’s embrace as they slept blissfully into the night.

.
..
…

Almost.

The window lay forgotten, the moonlight revealing all.

Under the twilight hour, the world lay abandoned. The world forgotten, only two remain.

Under the twilight, no one could see as a blonde woman slowly peeked open her eyes, checking the other is asleep. A smile gracing her face, slowly and gently, she snuggled up to the boy in front of her, and squeezed him into her chest. Content in the present. Seeing his smiling face, she couldn’t help but think she did something right.

Under the twilight hour, no one would hear her whisper.

“Sweet dreams, Rudy.”

With a full heart, and heavy eyes, she joined him in peaceful slumber.