“It’s an ambush, hold your ground men!”
An American Sergeant yells to his subordinates as his soldiers are gunned down by the enemy, their superior equipment no match for the surprise the enemy had inflicted upon them.
“It’s no use Sir, they’ve got us pinned!”
“Dammit, dear God if you’re up there, send someone to save us!” The Sergeant prayed as his men blew up around him.
The enemy yelled various insults as they tore down terrified soldier after terrified soldier from their positions upon some mountains.
“Yes! We get those American Pigdog Hotdog Eater yes!” A Russian man operating a machine gun from the mountain range cheered.
“Not for long, you Commie bastard!” Someone fell from the Heavens, a Soldier dressed in a (stolen) American WW2 uniform complete with a bucket helmet.
“What the fu-” The Russian is knocked out as the Soldier hits him over the head with a shotgun.
The other Enemy Soldiers hear this and begin to fire upon him. The Soldier throws a grenade at his feet and flies up into the air; killing many of the Machine Gunners with an (also stolen) M1 Garand, the ping echoing throughout the mountains as he reloads it.
“Comrades, what is happening over there?” A Russian commander asks over the radio.
“Commissar, we do not know, this man came from the sky and is- OH SHI-” A Radioman yells as The Soldier lands directly on his head, shoving his boot firmly into his head.
“There’s more where that came from you God damned vodka drinking, country destroying, starving Commies!” The Soldier yelled.
The rest of the enemy soldiers retreated in fear: running, screaming and crying as The Soldier jumped down to his fellow American Soldiers.
“Thank you Soldier, what’s your name?” The Sergeant thanked.
“John Johnson, at your service Sir!” The two men shook hands. “Don’t thank me too much though, we need to go on the attack to truly defeat this enemy of America!” Johnson, with a heart full of jingoistic American fire yells.
“You make a good point Johnson, we need to chase the enemy,” The Sergeant agrees. “They’ll be beyond the mountains, we simply need to go through ‘em and we’ll have the enemy by the balls!” The Sergeant orders as soldiers cheer.
“Forward charge Men!” Johnson yelled as he led the charge through the mountains, hundreds of Soldiers running with him as they stormed the enemy’s position a group of bunkers, trenches and dugouts. The unprepared enemy still managed to do some damage in their defensive positions, raining down a hail of machine gun fire.
“Forward Men, as fast as you can!” Johnson yells as he uses one of his grenades to launch himself into the air again.
After a bit of flying and falling; he lands behind the enemy’s positions all the way at the central command post’s back door. John kicks open the locked door, causing loud, blaring alarm bells to ring out from within the building.
“Shit, get him Comrades!” The Commander yells, causing an army of Soldiers to go towards the back of the command post.
The army shoots at Johnson, who quickly ducks flips over a table and ducks behind it for cover.
An enemy Soldier tosses a grenade at him, Johnson catches it in mid air and tosses it back at the enemy; blowing many of them into bits; he fires off shots at the distracted soldiers before ducking again, killing a few more of the seemingly endless Enemy.
“They are pushing through, hold steady Comrades!” The commander yells once again. “Kill Capitalist Pig behind us at all costs!”
Johnson laughs maniacally. “Come and get me Commies!”
The enemy soldiers begin to rush at Johnson, who takes them out one by one using his Garand. One of the Soldiers flanks Johnson from behind and manages to stab him in the shoulder.
Johnson grunts in pain as he pulls the knife out, he bashes the Flanker over the head with his shovel killing the man on the spot.
American Soldiers begin to flood the command post, the remaining Enemies either surrender or retreat; Johnson bandages up his shoulder wound.
---
An impromptu awards ceremony is set up within the command centre.
“Johnson, for saving our army and allowing us to push back the Communist threat, I would like for you to meet someone special,” The Sergeant says as Barrack Obama appears behind Johnson to give him a medal.
“Wow, Mr. Obama? I-I don’t know what so say!” Johnson fangirls over the former President.
“Don’t uh- say anything Mr. Johnson, you have uhh… saved the entire American army,” Obama congratulates as he puts the medal around Johnson’s neck.
---
“And that is how I single-handedly saved the entire American army!” Johnson finishes his story, relaxing in his chair as he does. “Any other questions?”
Janet, who is sitting opposite of him writes down a few notes. “No, that’ll be all; it’s obvious you have the qualifications to join this Mercenary team. Come back tomorrow and we can train you,”
“You bet your ass I will,”
