ItsOnlyForFiction

Here is a quick reminder of the key characters so far:
XX01: The main protagonist
XX02: XX01's best friend
XX04: XX01's close friend and competitor
XX07: XX squadron's jerk
XX09: Made a bet with XX01
XX30: XX01's romantic interest
KS12: XX squadron teacher
KS24: Muscular blacksmith woman
MD17: The nurse
General HP07: The leader of the Delta
Unknown kind man

I didn't think it was possible, but... Once again, I was at the edge of the defense perimeter. Damn, I missed it so much already. I wanted to look at the stars but couldn't. I couldn't feel the cold biting my skin either. I wasn't in control of that avatar.

"Do you hear me?" I asked.

"One?" questioned XX04, surprised. "What the fuck? Where are you?"

Quickly, the comms got overloaded by my squadron's joyful comments.

"Say hello to your new mission control!" I said.

I was moved and overwhelmed by conflicting emotions but tried to hide it. Of course, I wanted to be out there with my brothers so bad that even spectating felt great. Especially since I thought I would never see the outside world again. But it was humiliating not to be autonomous, a mere witness to someone else's adventure.

"Watching Four's live feed right now," I specified.

XX04 looked around at the rest of the squad behind him. "Hey, guys? Hear that? Say hi!"

They all waved enthusiastically. It must have been like an hour since I last saw them all, yet it felt like I had missed them already. I sniffed loudly and hoped they didn't hear it.

"So, guys," I resumed, "we got a cleansing mission ahead. No specific target to display. You must kill at least 95% of all hostiles in there, that's it."

I felt KS12 tap my shoulder. "Don't be too specific with numbers," she told me. My brothers couldn't hear her. "Remember: none of you can know all this on the field. Let's keep it as realistic as possible."

I nodded, knowing she would see me since we were together in the classroom. One by one, I went through the feeds of all squad members for checkups, as instructed. The amount of data I had access to was insane! Heart rate, breathing rate, body temperature, and more physiological measurements. Ammo count, energy level and consumption, and status of all gear equipped were also displayed. At will, I could bring up a vast map of the outpost, its surroundings, and the oasis. It showed all squad members' locations or distances to any objective.

"Come on, Eleven, pick up the pace," I said, noticing XX11 was starting to slack off.

KS12 touched my shoulder again. "Don't micro-manage them. It's not your role. You're not squadron leader anymore. That's XX04's responsibility. Your role is to provide information they don't have access to."

"Mission control used to micro-manage me a lot," I grumbled.

"What did you say?" asked XX04.

"Nothing, sorry," I said, remembering they could all hear me. "Proceed, oasis in reach in... Two minutes."

"Of course, we can see it, dummy," said XX07.

"Comms restricted to squad leader for now," said XX04, defusing a potential conflict.

I watched as the whole team entered the dome, anxious. XX04 was undecided, not knowing what to do.

"May I?" I asked.

"Go ahead, mission control," said the squad leader.

"Make a defense perimeter," I commanded. "Five to Twenty, spread out and look around. Twenty-one to Twenty-nine, look up. Two to Four, assess the best path to take. There's a ledge going down, but I also see a path behind that huge shroom stem on your left. Once safe, plan your next move and the proper strategy to-"

KS12 grabbed my shoulder firmly. "XX01, I said you're not squadron leader anymore. And you're not XX04's teacher. That would be the General who might watch this feed."

"Come again?" asked XX04.

"This is not your role," continued KS12. "You're only here to tell them what they might have missed and assist them. Not lead them."

I sighed. "Apologies, Four. Your move."

"I... Uh... Right! Bait formation, guys! Let's follow the dome's periphery, then spiral towards the center for maximal coverage."

I disapproved but didn't say anything.

"Two, you're the bait!" said XX04.

Damn! XX02 is better with a gun than a sword. Why not XX09? We even talked about this! I was getting so frustrated not to be allowed to contest his decisions.

"Aye, aye, chief!" said XX02, immediately taking his position ahead of the group.

Looking at XX02 while unable to do anything was more stressful than being there myself. If I could have traded places with any of them, I wouldn't have hesitated for a second. Particularly now.

"Squad leader, sour-shroom density and height are getting critical," I said as they ventured into a dense forest of shrooms taller than them. Visibility was near zero. Why the fuck didn't he start climbing up ledges or sending a scout up a taller shroom somewhere? "Suggest getting eyes above."

"We..." XX04 hesitated. "Negative. If bugs are hiding in there, we need to drag them out. Keep going, guys!"

I started nervously shaking my leg. It felt like the perfect place for an ambush. At that point, they couldn't even see XX02. Why send someone ahead if there's nobody to cover him? If he got attacked, he was on his own. On the map, I watched as they kept spreading out, losing track of who was where.

"XX02, you're ok?" asked XX04.

"Well, I can't see much, but I still don't smell anything. Nothing to report-" Upon finishing that sentence, XX02 screamed.

"Contact!" yelled XX04, shooting around him without knowing where the bugs were. "Open fire!"

I switched to XX02's point of view. His camera was offline, and no heartbeat was detected. If not in the simulation, he would have died. Fuck! And I would have witnessed it, helpless. I took a second to process all that before returning to XX04's feed. He was running blind, limping, probably hurt. A quick health check showed his heart rate was off the roof, but his survival chances were still high based on his injury diagnostic.

On the map, I saw the squadron spreading out even more, their vital signs turning off, picked off by bugs one by one.

"I knew this was a mistake!" I yelled. "Guys, you need to gather up! Stop running around and look up. There is a triangular-shaped crack in the dome's top, from which a shroom comes through. Follow the stem down and use it as a meeting place! Get there, climb up, and stand your ground! If you-"

KS12 took my headscreens off.

"What are you doing?" I asked her, upset.

"What are you doing?" she calmly asked back.

I sighed, grabbing my head and understanding what she meant. "But they need help!"

"Yes, they do. But you're helping them the wrong way."

"Then please, enlighten me!"

"You can tell them how many are alive. You can mention survival estimates. You don't have to talk or give orders: you're not using the targeting system enough. You can pinpoint wounded people or meeting points that they can all see on their screens. You must ask yourself what information they might lack. But most of all, you must remain calm no matter what, and you can't tell them what to do. They will know better than you."

"They know better than me? Obviously, they don't!" I took a deep breath and remembered when I was there myself. Of course, I was wrong. I knew better than mission control what to do.

"You have to let them learn."

"But, can't the squad learn by following my lead?"

"How long have you led them, and how much did they learn from what you saw there? XX04 has to learn to make the calls himself and take responsibility. Besides, I can guarantee the General won't like that fighters get calls and advice from a carer."

"I see..."

"Trust the process," said my teacher. "Let them fail in simulation so they can succeed in real missions. It's fine if they all die today as long as they don't in three months. After they fail, your job is to learn from them what information they lacked. The General might be special, but he will teach them what they need to know, don't worry. And if you feel the need to give them feedback, do it later as a debriefing. Outside of simulation, when the General can't see."

"I understand," I said, feeling very sad and disappointed. "But I feel like it's not enough..."

I looked up. KS12 was sad as well. "You have no idea how much I understand," she said. "But that's how it is. Please, for once, trust me. Stay at your place, and let XX04 learn. He's your leader now. And even if he asks you to take his place, remind him."

I nodded, trusting her for real.

When I put my headscreen back on, only XX09, XX11, and XX19 were still alive. Everyone was yelling in the comms except XX04. He remained silent. I wanted to shut everyone up and restart the exercise but refrained. It wasn't my place. It was XX04's responsibility.

XX09, the last fighter standing, held his ground for a long while until our squadron leader finally decided to restart. He walked to the oasis without saying a word, not even bothering to check if the rest of the squadron followed. They didn't. I felt KS12's hand on my shoulder again. She gripped me a little tighter for moral support. Maybe I wasn't the only one that needed to learn things the hard way.

"Pinpointing several entrance points on screen now," I said, hoping it would help XX04 avoid that same patch of dense shrooms.

Not paying attention to me, XX04 returned to the same spot as earlier and entered.

"Thirteen squad members are still outside. Request waiting for backup before proceeding," I said as XX04 rushed in harm's way.

"Oh, now you're telling me what to do again?" he complained. "Why did you leave us at the worst time possible? We needed you, bro!"

"Now is not the time. Focus on the mission," I calmly said. "Request regrouping at marker location."

XX04 started to run, his sword in hand. "Fuck off, I don't need anyone," he complained.

I watched through his screen as he finally encountered bugs. It was weird to see them from so close I could see their disgusting labial palps and paraglossas while not smelling their terrible stench. That was a first. XX04 sliced a dozen bugs in half in his typical frenetic combat style, with hemolymph splashing all over him. A few of the boys started shooting from behind him in support, but they quickly got overran and died, as some others hadn't even entered the dome yet.

"I didn't leave you," I said XX04 after his death. "KS12 took my headscreen to remind me you're in charge and that we both need to learn our place."

After half a day of training, we failed all missions. I took off my headscreen and looked at KS12. She watched the whole debacle on a tablet yet didn't seem particularly disappointed.

"You did good," she said. "The General would have been proud: you remained at your place!"

"Good? That was terrible! And Four barely talked to me. Pretty sure he's mad at me or something..."

"That wasn't your responsibility. XX04 will get reprimanded adequately by the General this afternoon. He will tell him you did well. Focus on the fact that you made progress, especially towards the end."

"Yeah, I think I'm getting more comfortable with all these new tools."

"And you're becoming more quiet," she said, smiling.

"You mean I finally managed to shut up?"

KS12 shrugged, still smiling. "You'll do fine. If I were you, though, I would try to find a way to help XX04 manage his emotions. That's your biggest problem as a squad. But don't worry, you'll have more tools to achieve that once we get to practical sex education. After we finish that lesson, you'll make your squadron calmer than they've ever been. Hopefully."

I shivered at that thought.

ItsOnlyForFiction

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