*A few days had passed.*
"Be right back," said the cute librarian.
"Take your time," I said, proud of my new manly voice. I watched the lady's ass swaying away while thinking of XX02's fixation on her.
Glancing at the closest window, I saw my reflection in it. Damn, I was getting big. I flexed my arm, noticing how detailed my muscles were already. As MD17 predicted, I was effortlessly growing taller and thicker at the low price of eating a ton of shrooms. I was towering over women now. Even KS24, the blacksmith, wouldn't look that impressive relative to me anymore. Unfortunately, I was still undersized by men's standards. Despite female uniforms being very stretchy, mine was getting so tight I wondered how long it would still fit me. Probably not much longer.
In the glass, I noticed my cracked upper lip, reminding me how being among men was. They sure hit my face, but I punched back. I couldn't wait to reach my full size (assuming I hadn't already), and we would see if they would ever ask me to get naked again. And I swear I might keep that dildo on me only to someday shove it up one of those bastard's asses if they dare touch me. I had to admit I didn't get much sexual attention from men since I had grown bigger. I guess I didn't look pretty enough. Most of my troubles came after weird stares at my clothes. Men seemed offended that a woman could be as strong as me and probably wanted to test my resolve.
"Here," said the librarian, handing me a tablet. I noticed how she stared at my woman's mark, then at my thicker torso, blushing.
I thanked her, and with the tablet in hand, I looked for the most isolated corner I could find. I settled for a decent-sized alcove, large enough for a table and two chairs. I sat down and searched for any information on that Alpha outpost XX02 told me about.
I learned a lot. Charlie Oasis, the most significant rift of all Astrilles, was cutting the wastes sideways from direct West to North-East, relative to Delta outpost. At its closest, it was a four-day walk from here. To get to Charlie station, one needed to walk Northeast for ten days, along Charlie Oasis, up to the Charlie crossing point. There, a narrow passage allowed people to safely cross Charlie Oasis to reach Charlie outpost on the other side. From there, Alpha outpost was another six to eight days' walk West-Northwest. That was sixteen to eighteen days in total. Even without that detour via Charlie outpost, a direct expedition to Alpha outpost would require at least ten days while crossing unpatrolled parts of Charlie Oasis. Manageable? Possibly. Easy? Definitely not.
I kept searching, and XX02 was right: Alpha outpost didn't get overrun by bugs. The geyser on which it was built decreased in activity and didn't produce enough energy anymore for its entire population. They moved to a new spot, leaving some structures behind. Did they leave enough? The archives didn't tell. But for a small group of dedicated people and by sealing off sections, it might be safe enough to survive there. Of course, there were still many question marks, but one problem at a time!
"What are you doing?" asked KS12, standing behind me, blocking the only exit of that alcove. She was frowning at me, her hands on her heavily swayed hips, probably trying to hold a very manly pose. Instead, it was emphasizing her feminine pear-like shape. Her pregnancy was starting to show as well from her lightly swollen belly.
"Studying?" I replied innocently.
She peeled her eyes. "We need to talk," she said. "What have you done? How are you growing like a man?"
"Ask the General," I said. "I didn't do anything."
"The General wouldn't have done that. Which means MD17 did." KS12 sighed. "Are you plotting something? An escape, perhaps?"
I scoffed, stood up, and walked to my instructor. She used to be one head taller than me. Now, she had to look up slightly to keep eye contact.
"If I did, you'd tell me how unadvisable such a thing is, right?"
"I would," she replied, unimpressed. "But I still have to ask. Are you trying to escape?"
"So you can tell the General?"
"Fuck the General," she said. "I'm asking because if I were you, I would, especially since you're getting strong. That would drastically improve your chances of success out there."
I raised an eyebrow. "Why do you care?"
She looked around. "Because if you leave, I want to leave with you."
I laughed. "Why haven't you left already?"
"Because me leaving alone would be suicide. And I have never met someone strong enough to have a chance at repelling bugs that also want to leave this place."
"You mean you've never met a man that wanted to leave with you?"
"What's the point of leaving if bringing a man? Might as well stay here, then. I'm only coming to you because you're not a man."
"XX02 is coming with me," I said.
"No!" she protested. "That's a big mistake! You can't trust a man! Never! Leave him out! Caged or not, they're not trustworthy. Some men might seem nice at first, but they're not! I learned it the hard way..."
"So, I should tell XX02 I'm leaving without him because he's not trustworthy according to your intuition? Great idea! Besides..."
"Besides...?"
"I'm thinking about taking some others from the XX squadron... Maybe all of them? I don't know yet."
"Are you out of your mind? That's crazy!" KS12 looked increasingly agitated.
I grabbed her and pulled her further into my improvised hideout. "The whole operation is crazy! You've seen my squad kneel during the assignment. They're my brothers! We can trust them!" I was now blocking the exit for her.
"That was before the General had a hand on them. And before they've had sex with you," she said, defeated.
"Listen, we need to reach a critical number of people to defend ourselves, get food, organize patrols, and so on. If it's you and me, and one of us gets injured, then what? Do you also expect me to deliver your baby? If you want to join, you'll have to adapt and prove you're more of an asset than a liability. How did you plan to contribute?"
She sighed. "I'm knowledgeable. What did you have in mind?"
"We explored the possibility of settling in Alpha outpost, which got abandoned because-"
"Because of power shortage!" said KS12, a spark igniting in her eyes.
"Do you know how an outpost works? How to manage the heat, the electricity, the water, and such?"
She grumbled. "Remember KS13, my pair? He works in the maintenance wing. He's not very talkative, but after nearly twenty years living together, I've learned a few things."
"Really? So you'd know where the on/off power switch is and how to turn it on?"
"Don't get too excited! I can't guarantee that, but I know more than any of you in your squad."
"Can we ask KS13 to join us, then? Or kidnap him?"
"I'll never go anywhere he goes! Forget it!"
"What about other women?" I asked. "Wouldn't some know how stuff works?"
"Probably, but from my experience, many don't mind their situation and wouldn't hesitate to denounce us. Asking any of them would be very risky."
"What about cuntboys then?"
"The few I know would help, but they're in jail, and it's hard to spot the free ones. You've probably met some without realizing it. I'm pretty sure some men have cuntboys coworkers they talk to daily without even knowing."
"Hmmm. Easy!" I ironically said. "We'll only have to break into jail and free those trapped there. It's not like there are dozens more challenges to overcome, like how to get to Alpha outpost or to leave this place."
"Or why women aren't allowed to leave."
"What do you mean? Isn't it so that men can keep you all to themselves?"
She scoffed. "So men can keep us all to themselves?"
"Whatever. Men come up with stupid rules to keep control. Like why nobody's allowed to masturbate. It's all about control!"
She shook her head. "There is a good reason. But I don't know it."
"You don't know it? But you know there's a reason? Why?"
"Because the last major station that fell before the great lull was just before women were confined. And from the moment women were locked in, bugs stopped winning. This single decision changed the course of the war. Until recently, as you might have heard."
"So what? If we leave, it's the apocalypse? I've been out there! We'll be fine, don't worry."
KS12's face darkened. "No, you've never been out there. You've been in simulation, and simulation is nothing like out there."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, the simulation is a propaganda tool designed to train kids. Did you love it? Then someone manipulated you to love it with mild settings, as true as others have been pushed to hate it with harsher parameters. I wonder if those settings can't be tweaked player by player. At least, that's what my instructor suspected. Anyway, she used to teach us that bugs can smell women from much further away than men, and that smell makes them enter a deadly frenzy. Maybe that's why we aren't allowed outside?"
"You never taught us that, though."
"I was told not to," she said, looking like she had lost hope.
I put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, only fighters will go out. Isn't that right? Aren't you a fighter deep inside?"
She shrugged. I grabbed her face and made her look at me. My hand was surprisingly large next to her head. "Which brings me to my next question. How do we know we can trust each other?"
I slid my hand down her jaw and grabbed her neck, pushing her softly into the wall behind her. She grabbed my forearm with both hands in protest, but I barely felt her struggle.
"What are you doing?" she asked, her eyes opening wide.
I looked down at her and lifted her tank top, revealing her breasts.
"XX01!" she yelped.
Her saggy tits looked dry like they had seen better days.
"You look tired," I said.
"Wh-What?" she asked, disturbed.
"When was the last time someone took good care of you?"
"XX01? I don't understand! You're scaring me!"
Still grabbing her by the neck, I pinched one of her nipples with my other hand, pulling on her empty-looking breast. She grimaced. I let it drop, pulled her skirt up, and grabbed her pussy, pushing her pelvis against the wall.
"Only fighters will come with me to Alpha outpost. Are you a fighter?" I asked. "If you say anything besides yes, I'll leave right now and never mention this again."
"Wh..." she started.
"Are you a fighter?" I pulled her panties aside and slid a finger in between her pussy lips, but didn't enter her vagina.
"Yes!" she desperately said.
"Show me, then!" I turned around and forced her to sit on the table, leaning her back on her elbows. That same position she had the day we met, and I discovered what pussies were. "Spread up, don't be shy," I said, repeating the General's words.
I brought two fingers to her mouth. "Spit on it," I commanded.
"Please, XX01, don't..."
"Shhhhh!" I said. "Someone will hear us. Unless you want it?"
She hesitated, then struggled at spitting, her breath too short from her panicked state. I lined up my fingers towards her spread-opened lips and rubbed around, spreading her spit all over her pussy.
"No, please! That's not..." she started, half whispering, half babbling.
I pushed forward, and her pussy lips opened, slowly swallowing the tip of my fingers. Damn, my fingers got fat as well.
Her eyes opened wider. Quickly, I felt resistance. It seemed like she was particularly tight. I maintained a slight pressure and looked as she stared at her pussy, anxious.
"Do you think I'm anything like the General? Or your pair?" I asked.
"What?" she replied, still in shock. She looked at me, and I kindly smiled. She took a second to understand and let a deeper breath out. "No," she said, calming down.
"Will you trust me?"
"Yes! You wanted to test me?"
I pulled my fingers back and slammed my hand on the table. KS12 startled.
"Fighter, have you already had your dick sucked?" I asked.
"I... What?"
"Have you?"
She shook her head. I knelt and took a good look at her pussy. Her vagina also looked tired. I devoured her pussy, starting slow and picking up the pace over time. She didn't react much at first but eventually, let her hand go through my longer hair than usual. KS12 was taking longer breaths in and out, regularly sighing.
"XX01? I think that's enough," she said after a few minutes. "I think you made your point."
I stood back up. "Which was?"
"I'm not sure... There were better ways to know if we could trust each other."
"Probably less pleasant ones," I said.
"Probably less stressful ones," she retorted.
"I wanted to see four things. How would you handle stress? Do you still have a fighting spirit? And are your lessons correct?"
"I don't understand."
"You said adventurers are always looking for action and novelty. Aren't you an adventurer? And you also said giving up can sometimes feel liberating?"
She chuckled. "I did. What about the fourth thing?"
"I wanted to see if you would have an orgasm. Did you?"
She shook her head.
"Well, there's something you didn't teach us. What do you do when the fighter never cums?"
She sighed. "You give up."
"And did you?"
"Ever have an orgasm? Or give up? It doesn't matter. In both cases, never. Is this what's bothering you? What's your sensitivity level?"
"2/10... And all my attempts have been more frustrating than anything so far..."
"Oh, One... There are many ways to enjoy life without relying on sex. I didn't know you before you were seventeen, but weren't you already happy without sex? Well, you can be again. Do your five years of service, and forget about sex. After that, it won't be more than an annoying routine."
"Not if we leave: then I won't have to do my years of service, and I won't ever have a partner. Not a man, anyway."
I didn't like her answer and wasn't ready to give up.
"If you talk about any of this," I started, "I'll tell every detail of what happened just now to the General, and I guess you'll be in just as much trouble as I would be, right?"
"Smart kid," she said, smiling.
KS12 quickly left, and that interaction made me weirdly self-conscious about a tiny detail that deeply bothered me: if my hair was too long to get grabbed, they were too long!
I approached my usual hairdresser's shop and casually leaned in the door frame. It was getting late, but she was still sweeping cut hair on the floor.
She looked at me and peeled her eyes. "XX01?" she asked after a couple of seconds. "Is that you?"
"Hi! May I come in?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, kid. You won't have any appointment with me for a long time, and I'm about to leave and join my pair," she said.
I cleared my throat. "Excuse me," I started, "but could you give me a quick buzz cut, please?" I showed her my kindest smile. "It will only take a minute! I won't mind if it's not perfect."
She stopped sweeping. "Listen, carers are not allowed to get their hair cut. Not until they've grown for a few years. And, last time I checked, you were assigned carer. Show me your mark."
"But KS12 has a buzz cut, and she's a woman!"
The hairdresser lady smiled. "But KS12 is not a carer anymore. She's done her service. Besides, she deserves it. She fought hard for it, you know? It wasn't allowed before she earned that right."
"Really? What happened?" I asked.
"She kept buzzing her hair despite General HP07's threats. I think she spent over a month in jail for it, and what did she do the day she got released?"
"No way!"
"Yup," she nodded. "Are you ready to spend a month in jail for this?"
I was confident the General knew he couldn't afford to send me to jail for a month during my already shortened training. "How did it end?" I asked.
"A few other women did the same in support, which eventually made the General abdicate. Too bad she had to return to jail so soon after."
"Return to jail?" I knew KS12 was a rebel, but I didn't expect that much. "What did she do?"
"Poor boy... I mean, girl! Didn't you hear KS12's story? She and KS24 were inseparable until someone told General HP07 they were having intimate relationships." The haircutter sighed. "I didn't see them for a long, long time..."
That story impressed me as much as it horrified me.
"Anyway, off you go! You're making me late!"
"Please," I begged. "You called me boy! You know I don't look like a carer! Do you think long hair would fit me?"
"Orders are orders. I have to comply, as should you!"
"Yet you admired when KS12 didn't comply!" She sighed. "No offense," I continued, "but I will get a buzz cut right now. With or without your help. Please, don't make me do something I don't want to..."
"Is that a threat?" she asked, shocked.
I sighed and walked in.
"Stop! I will call for help," she stuttered, walking by me.
I put my hand on her upper torso. I only needed a slight movement to grab her by the neck. "Please," I repeated, determined.
She walked back. "Fine! All yours," she said, raising her hands in resignation. I went for the hair clippers and stood in front of a mirror, then turned it on while keeping an eye on her. My hair had never been that long before. I cut a straight line across the middle of my head, from my forehead to the top of my head.
"Stop," she commanded. "What are you doing? I can't let you do such carnage. Just... Sit down. I'll do it. Fine!"
I smiled and complied. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."
"Then, what will you say? That your hair fell off your head?"
I shrugged.
"Don't move! What happened to you, anyway?"
"The General's will, I guess?"
"Well, you should thank him, then."
"Thank him!? Why?"
"I said: don't move! Because he made you a gift! Honestly, you have no idea how envious I am right now. If only I could have had the same injection as you! And let me tell you what: I bet there isn't a single woman in this outpost that wouldn't envy you."
"What?" I exclaimed.
"Do you realize you got the best of both worlds? You're sexy, manly, and strong enough to defend yourself. Yet you have the privileged treatment of being a woman. Who else is blessed with such a body without getting massacred by Voraces? I'm telling you, anyone who has seen the horrors of battles would have died to be like you."
"Privileged treatment," I kept muttering as I left her shop, my hair finally like I wanted.
If u ask me, KS12 really needs an orgasm. i really feel for her. She even spent lots of time in jail with not a single one! I think KS12 and XX01 would be the perfect pair, chemistry and spirit.
It's really unfortunate how often xx01 resorts to sexual violence, not making them a sympathetic protagonist.
I'd have four things to answer to that. First, remember the story takes place in a world where women are not considered equal to men and where violence is everywhere, including sexual violence. Second, XX01 has been through a lot and is trying to learn his place in this violent world. Empathy can sometimes dissipate as someone experiences a feeling of power. Third, I debated for a long time if I should have included that specific s*x scene, but it was already written so I just left it in, but you can perfectly ignore it and it won't affect the rest of the story. And lastly, there's definitely a part of me that is exploring my own kinks in this story, sorry if it has a negative impact on your reader's experience.