I had been standing in front of the mirror in the washroom for at least ten minutes already, and I was about to give up. No matter what I tried, there was no way for me to wear my white tank top. I tore it severely in my last attempt and threw it in the sink. I looked up and contemplated myself. I was getting so massive I wondered if I could grow any bigger.
My neck had doubled in width, supported by bulging trapeziuses and protruding collar bones. Ignoring my skirt and what it covered, I looked like any man around the outpost, maybe even thicker than most. No wonder the female's uniform didn't fit me anymore. Fortunately, skirts were designed to accommodate women's expanding hips, which didn't happen to me, so I wouldn't have to walk around completely naked.
Grabbing the white piece of torn cloth, I headed to the logistics section, hoping they would have a larger size available. As I walked through the room, bare-chested, it was intoxicating to witness women standing aside and looking down in reaction to my imposing physique approaching.
XX30 walked aside as well, not even saying a word to me. Since I licked her about two weeks ago, she avoided me. She stopped sleeping in our dorm, preferring the company of the other two XW squadron carers. In the few words we exchanged since then, she still managed to say that XW15 thinks I'm worse than men. I interpreted it as XW15 being jealous of me. Why else would she get so mad at me when I never did anything wrong to her? Of course, she would never dare say anything to my face. Those two weeks felt lonely, and I missed my brothers more than ever, particularly XX02 and XX04.
I didn't get much trouble from men anymore. Stares, for sure, but that was it. Even crossing the central hub wearing only a skirt didn't cause more than a few surprised looks. Good.
The way to the logistics section door was obstructed by a group of about a dozen men arguing. I approached carefully to understand what was happening while keeping my distance to avoid getting involved.
"I'm telling you, he's a fucking pussy!" said a man.
"Shut up! I've been working with him for seven years! Don't you think I would have noticed?"
"Let him speak! Are you a pussy, or what? Who's your pair?"
"Boys! You know me! I'm not a pussy! But I'm sure he is!"
"Me? Why?" retorted another man.
"I've never seen you with your pair either! So, who are you fucking?"
"I'm paired with CS12! Do you know her? The librarian?"
"What the fuck? She's my pair!"
"Let's go ask her, then!"
"Gentlemen," called a deeper voice. "No need to bother CS12. Why don't you show us instead?"
"Fuck you! I'm not showing you anything!"
I found a spot where I could hear and watch the scene without getting caught. The other accused man dropped his pants and showed his caged cock to the others.
"Fuck you guys! I told you I'm a man! Now, your turn!"
"If you're stupid enough to do anything they ask you, good for you! But I don't owe anything to any of you! Fuck off!"
Someone roughly pulled the accused man's pants down, revealing a pussy. Cuntboys were real. There was no way I could have told he was one. And besides his cross-shaped assignment mark, he looked just like me.
"I fucking knew you were a cunt! We don't want you working with us anymore! You're a fucking disgrace! That's not a woman's job!"
As the ashamed cuntboy put his pants back on, two men pulled him behind them as a protective measure.
"Leave him alone and do your job!"
"Who cares if he's a cuntboy? He's twice as effective as you are!"
I couldn't tell who threw the first punch, but it escalated fast. I couldn't stand by idly and immediately jumped in. I had identified who was on each side and joined the cuntboy's team, of course.
I already had my share of fistfights with men in the past weeks, but that one was a much bigger mess than usual. I took a few kicks in the legs and punches to the torso but dealt twice as much damage in return. The cuntboy's side quickly noticed I was with them and seemed to appreciate my help.
"Don't linger around the geyser," I roared, exchanging kicks, "or you'll get steamed!"
In the turmoil, I grabbed one of the asshole's arms and pulled it, punching right on his nose. I felt a crack against my knuckles. I let him go, and he stepped back, bringing his hands to his face.
"What the fuck, man?" he said. He didn't look in pain or angry. He seemed surprised or maybe disappointed.
"Sorry," I said, wincing, and my eyes opened wide in surprise. "I didn't mean to-"
"What's going on here?" yelled a new man coming to us. I recognized him immediately: it was the gentle guy I met in jail. The one that had his pair trapped there. The nose-bleeding dude left with his supporters to the hospital wing while the others entered the logistics section. "XX01, is that you?" he asked. I was stuck there, not knowing how to react.
"Hum... Hi!" I hesitantly said. I couldn't believe I was nearly as tall as him now.
"Wow, you haven't developed how I expected," he said. "What happened here?"
I quickly explained to him about the fight, and he supported my intervention.
"What about that blood?" he asked, pointing at the few drops on the floor.
"I think I might have punched a nose too hard..." The guy winced. "Will I go to jail?" I asked, worried.
"If anyone asks you, say RC25 broke that nose. Okay? That's me, by the way." He winked and offered me a handshake.
I shook his hand and hesitated. "But wouldn't that put you in trouble?"
"RC25, head of Delta outpost security," he proudly introduced himself. "And men aren't punished for fighting, or there wouldn't be any dicks left in the outpost if you see what I mean."
I nodded. "How's your pair?"
A wide smile appeared on his face. "She recovered and didn't do anything reckless enough to earn her another stay. Not yet. Thanks for asking!"
We chatted a little more, and I resumed my trip to the logistics wing, feeling stronger than ever.
"What can I do for you, sir?" asked the lady at the counter.
I grinned. She called me 'sir!'
"It seems like my top is too small. Could I have a new uniform, please?" I asked, deliberately not mentioning any gender.
"May I see your assignment mark," said the lady. "Oh, sorry that I called you sir," she corrected herself upon seeing it. "I don't think we have anything that would fit you anymore..."
"Maybe you could give me a male uniform, then?" I suggested.
She looked uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, but I can't... That wouldn't be proper."
"So what? Should I remain like that?"
"I can file a complaint to the General if you want. Your name is...?"
"Never mind," I replied. "Don't bother him, I'll manage."
Being too late for breakfast, I headed to class with my well-defined pecs and abs exposed. I bet that wouldn't ease XW15's jealousy, but I couldn't care less.
that fight was kickass btw!
i don't get the jealousy thing can you explain it more in this chapter. may be i am a dummy but is xw15 jealous of him/her ? xx30 jealous of him/her ? or what i don't get how that turned to jealousy.
ok he wanted xx30 to help him out but he got dumped so where is the jealousy coming from ?
i think this part needs more explaining here not in other chapters i don't get it ?!!
but anyway thank you for the chapter i am really having fun reading this .
We were talking about XW15 being jealous of XX01. I'll see if I can clarify it a little if it's unclear. There will be an entire chapter about this eventually
@ItsOnlyForFiction she is jealous of xx01 because of what ? cause he is big or cause he can do things with xx30 ?
@shahrokh Maybe both?
I don't think it's really jealousy. Rather used to show XX01's ongoing emotional drift from other 'AFAB' people.
XX01 can't put themselves in the mental state to see what thier carer classmates feel. Probably due to a the ongoing difference in socialization, hormones, and XX01's strong male gender identity.
I read more as indication that XX01 is unable to empathize with others. In XX01s mind only reason someone could dislike someone is if they directly offend them in some so they must be jealous of them, rather then they are upset because I crossed XX30 boundaries with seemingly no care or respect for XX30 wants or desires.
I have very little faith that this is going to be dealt with in the story but what XX01 did to XX30 was rape or at the very least sexual assault so xw15 having some indication that something happened to xx30 due to them dealing with trauma would be expected if they are sharing a living space even of xx30 didn't explicitly tell them
@ajanissary well i would not call it rape. first she could always refuse or not go with him in a solo room and they had some emotional connection before all this also she did not dislike it .
yes from a modern American perspective they just have to say yes every move u make but in their world that is more than enough agreement. also let's not talk about third world countries like mine ok ?!
@ajanissary I purposefully didn't make any character all white or all black, including XX01 and XW15. I didn't want to make XX01 a perfect character that has nothing to learn, or nothing to atone for. I hope I will convince you he will, the hard way. As I said in a previous comment, XX01 has been through a lot. I would argue that it's easy to empathize when everything is fine in your life, but in challenging situations, it can be harder to find empathy in you. That doesn't mean you're unable to empathize with other necessarily. I intended to have XX01 start walking a manly path and embrace the same destructive behaviors only to come back from it. Also, there's definitely a huge lack of communication between XX01 and XX30. I'm not trying to excuse XX01, just explain. And you have to break something before you can repair it.
@shahrokh When I wrote this chapter, I was fully aware I was walking along the very thin line between consent and rape. I would agree with you that it wasn't really a rape, particularly not according to their standards (remember chapter 3 or the jail) and given their previous relationship. If XX30 had said no, XX01 would have respected it (he would have complained for sure but not forced anything). But I wanted XX01 and XX30 to clash about XX01's views and behavior, to show that the way he takes things for granted isn't okay either.
@ajanissary By the way, there will be an entire chapter on XW15. So it will be dealt with. If I didn't want to talk about themes of rape and consent, I would have made XX30 love it and be super happy about the situation.