Sometimes I regretted never bothering to get a driver's license. Now was certainly one of those times. I guess it wouldn't have been possible for me to predict that one day I'd be made to ride on public transport while dressed as a girl. Thankfully, we didn't live far from the theatre, so the bus ride would be mercifully short. I tried to distance myself from the journey by spending it staring at Leah. Unfortunately, doing that just led to me noticing the intensity of her gaze, affixed on me. She had a look in her eyes that, were I a braver sort, I might describe as hungry. It was seriously unnerving. Why was she looking at me like that? I thought I looked pretty good.

Oh dear. And, in averting my gaze from her, I was forced to look around the bus. I felt a hundred eyes on me, which was far too many, seeing as there were only about twenty people on the bus. Were they staring? Do I look that ridiculous? Of course I do. Gosh, this was a bad idea. Why did I choose to go out in public like this? I could hear the laughter they were barely suppressing, simmering beneath the surface.

Distract yourself. Look out the window. Focus on the passing trees, sparse as they are in this urban sprawl. Watch them go by, count them if you're so bold. Don't notice how reflective the glass is, don't catch a glimpse of what you- Dang. I do look good. Why was I so worried? I look really nice, in fact! But... then why was everyone staring at me? Maybe my cognition is distorted, and I'm just seeing what I want to see instead of the truth. If I look closely enough, perhaps I'll be able to see the truth, notice the grotesqueness hiding beneath this mask of make-up.

I feel a tug at my arm. Oh, it's Leah. We've arrived at our stop. I meander off the bus, silently promising that I'll inspect my visage for flaws at the next opportunity. We enter the theatre, and queue up for popcorn and overpriced snacks. I realise as we check out that we ought to have waited until closer to the movie's start, since in the ten minutes remaining our popcorn will surely become tepid. Too late for second guessing now, I suppose.

We stand up against one of the walls of the lobby, waiting for Leah's friends to arrive. Well, Leah's friend and her girlfriend. Which is cool. That Leah's friend is gay, I mean. I think it's awesome, honestly. Like, personally, I just think that women-loving-women are neat. Not in a weird way!

Leah once again pulls me out of my thoughts by tugging on my arm, and I see her hailing down a pair of girls. They're holding hands, which is nice. I thread my fingers between Leah's, almost reflexively. I appraise them quickly. One is tall, about my height, yet unlike me, her figure fills out nicely. I mean, of course it does, she's actually a girl. She's practically hanging off the arm of a shorter, stouter woman with a faux-hawk and a dark blue button-up. I see she doesn't have to wear pink.

As they came within a comfortable earshot, Leah called out to them. "Heyyy Isa!" She ran up to, and wrapped her arms around the shorter woman. "And you must be Alice!" Another hug, directed towards the taller one this time.

The shorter of the two, who must have been Isabelle, adopted a confused look. "And who is this? I thought you said were bringing your boyfriend?" In a conspiratorial tone, she whispered, "Have circumstances changed in the past few days?"

I wanted to explain what had happened, and why I was dressed like this, but I was overcome with embarrassment. What would I even say? Luckily, Leah could be relied upon to step up in situations such as these. "Oh, right, yeah, of course you're gonna be confused. This is him!" She gestured at me, and I felt a pang of... what was that? Guilt? It must have been. "This is-"

"Penny!" I blurted out, suddenly overtaken with worry that she might have said my real name, which would have been awfully confusing while I looked like this, which was the only reason I didn't want her calling me that. I offered my hand to Isabelle to shake, which she accepted, to my relief.

"Riiight. Leah, may I have a word?" She gestured behind her with her thumb, then kissed her girlfriend's hand and spoke to her too quietly for me to hear.

"Oh, okay, 'course! Be right back babe!" Leah waved as she ran off to the opposite wall. Leaving me alone with a total stranger. Dressed like a girl.

"Hi there! I'm Alice!" She proffered her hand, which I took gingerly. She seemed so delicate, in her frilly pink-and-white dress, I was worried if I gripped her too tightly she would shatter.

"H-Hi, I'm, uh- I'm P-Penny!" I realised that I really shouldn't be introducing myself by a name I'm only going to be going by for today, so I moved to correct myself. "Well, uh- my name isn't really Penny. I-I'm actually a guy." I rubbed the back of my head with a hand. "But, um- w-while I'm dressed like this I'm g-going by Penny, just because it'd be weird to look like this but go by a guy's name, right? A-anyway, my real name is-"

"Penny works fine for now." She smiled at me so warmly I felt as if I'd stepped into the sun. "So, Penny," she said, taking care to emphasize my name, "What would you say your favourite part of being a girl is, so far?"

I felt my face going red. "W- uh- I'm n-not really a girl. I- I just, I'm dressed like one right now. J-just as a punishment."

Her composure broke for a second, and she let out a giggle. "Okay, leaving that where it is for the time being, let's say you magically got turned into a girl when you dressed up like one, which makes you a girl right now. What's your favourite part of it?"

What? Had she? No, surely she was just picking a random example. There's no way I was actually magically turned into a girl. But I guess there'd be no way to know for sure, seeing as how gender identity is a wholly internal thing, so if I truly did turn into a girl, then I wouldn't necessarily look any different.

"Penny?" A hand waved in front of my face. "Earth to Penny?" Oh, right Alice asked me a question. I shouldn't leave her hanging.

"Oh-uh. The skirts. I like wearing a skirt. They go spinny!" God, what a stupid answer! Wearing a skirt isn't something only girls can do! And I should know, because I'm not a girl, and I'm wearing a skirt. Oh frick. Did I just admit that I liked wearing a skirt? How did that slip in there? It must be Alice, she's figured out a way to bypass my subconscious shields. Maybe she really is a wizard.

I saw Alice's face light up with recognition, but was saved from whatever revelation her response might have granted by an apoplectic Isabelle returning with a very contrite-looking Leah. What had they been talking about? Isabelle's voice had a touch of anger to it. "Leah, I believe you have something to say?"

Leah looked at Alice. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to make a mockery of you and people like you by making my boyfriend dress in drag." As much as it was true, it kind of hurt to be described as 'in drag', for some reason. "It was insensitive and thoughtless. Please let me know how I can do better in the future."

Alice's face ran a gauntlet of emotions, from confusion, to recognition, to dismay, back to confusion, and finally dumbfounded. "O-oh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Isa, may I have a word?" She gestured behind her with her thumb, and the two of them returned to the back wall.

That left me alone with Leah again, the air between us strained. She was despondent, and if I knew one thing it's that it was my job to minimize her sadness. "What's up, babe? I feel like I'm missing something here."

Leah brushed me off. "No- I- This is my fault. I messed up, babe. Badly."

"Well talk to me about it! What good is a girlfriend if you can't halve your burdens with her?"

"Boyfriend."

"What?"

"You said you were my girlfriend."

"Oh, so I did. Sorry about that! But the point stands. Tell me what ails you!" She looked me in the eye, and I noticed just how distraught she was. I pulled her in for a hug.

"I- ugh. How do I phrase this? By making you dress up as a girl, especially in our current political climate, I made a mockery of the struggles that trans women have to go through. I made light of very serious issues and it was a really bad idea. I'm really sorry, I messed up big time."

As much as I felt for her and was deeply sympathetic for her plight, one aspect of what she said drew the bulk of my attention. Trans women? What did they have to do with this situation? This was just a classic case of a guy dressing up like a girl and going out in public and being perceived as a girl by the general public and- Oh.

"Wait, do you think I'm a trans woman?"

"What? No, why would I think that? Obviously I would have noticed if you were. Where did you even get that?"

Before I could interrogate where exactly I got that from, Isabelle and Alice returned, Isabelle wearing the remorseful look this time, and a playful smile on Alice's lips. What could they have been talking about to flip Isabelle's mood like that? Isabelle spoke up again, her voice despondent. "Leah, may I have a word?" She gestured behind her with her thumb, and they headed back to the other wall for what I hoped was the last time. I hated being out of the loop.

"So sorry about all the drama, Penny. There's been a huge misunderstanding, and a series of smaller, tributary misunderstandings."

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't suppose I get to know about any of them?"

Alice smirked. "You'll figure out the big one on your own soon enough. Just know that you haven't done anything wrong, alright?"

I nodded. "So, I'm not, like, making a mockery of trans women or anything, am I?"

She suppressed a snicker. "Well, I certainly can't speak for all trans women, but I will say that I definitely don't feel mocked by your actions in the slightest."

Why would her opinion be- Oh. Okay brain, be cool about this. The absolute worst thing you can do here is be weird. Just acknowledge it, or even better, don't acknowledge it, just bring up some other, unrelated topic to sidestep reacting to it entirely. "Y- W- Uh- Yib- Y- Wha- I- Bu- Uh- Yi- You- Bu- Wha- Huh?"

Alice seemed quite entertained by the display, mortifying though it was for me. "Take your time, it's alright," she giggled.

Okay, second chance time. Compose yourself. Come up with a reasonable, measured reply to make up for your failed first attempt. "That's so cool! Maybe that's weird of me, but, like, I just think it's really cool! To like, grab your fate by the horns, y'know? Like, taking destiny into your own hands or whatever, and just deciding to become the person you're meant to be, like, your ideal self or whatever. Honestly, I'm kind of weirdly jealous of trans people? I don't know, that's probably weird. Sorry."

What did I tell you? Foot, meet mouth. Again, not literally, but regardless, another faux pas for the faux pile. Alice just laughed. "Christ, was I ever that oblivious?"

Fitting with the pattern of conveniently timed re-arrivals, Leah and Isabelle returned to our side of the wall. The two of them looked so sheepish they were almost a herd. Which meant I didn't have time to consider Alice's most recent remark. Unfortunately, the tapping of Leah's finger against her cheek indicated she had something on her mind, which was worrying. I wouldn't even permit thoughts of what she might need to get off her chest. Luckily, I wouldn't have to, as the pattern held strong. Leah's watch beeped in reminder, impatiently, as if to say you are here to see a movie, after all, and it's starting soon, and you really ought to go into the cinema lest you miss the ever-so-important commercials.

As we made our way into the cinema, I considered how great an oddity it was that, for once, the blaring of an alarm had brought me solace.