Antihero and Mary Sue looked at Ajimu Najimi, the manga character looking amused by their expressions.
"There's no place for you here." Antihero said before rushing with his sword, planning to slice Ajimu in 9001 pieces.
Ajimu, who has 12,858,051,967,633,865 skills, decided to use a 100 of her sword skills, leaving him defeated.
"Antihero!" Mary Sue cried dramatically, tears coming down her face like Bruce Lee's favourite drink, as her blue sapphire eyes shimmered simmerly like the shimmering jewels they are.
"Eh, bored now. I'm just going to leave this story. Have fum with your harems of muscled dudes, Mary Sue. And Antihero, here's an even bigger sword for you." Ajimu said, throwing an even bigger sword before disappearing.
Antihero was back on his feet in seconds, and the two could only ask one thing.
"Was I having a fever dream?"
And then the Dark Lord appears!!!
He then got blasted into a centillion pieces with Mary Sue and Antihero working together.
Man, the Plot really went completely nuts!
Sitting on its majestic throne, the Plot pondered what to do next.
"Hm, what to do, what to do..." it muttered after Mary Sue obliterated the Dark Lord along with Antihero.
Maybe a homage to another series would do? Yep, that's it!
And so, the almighty Plot moved its hand, and threw Mary Sue and her band into the Narrative Limbo, and a new story began, starring new named characters, Jon and Dilo, and more!
Jon was a rather handsome man. A rather buff one, with muscles on top of muscles and young enough that he did not have any time to get a goatee of Evil. He held his trusty sword with him, a little gift from one of his deceased friends. It was not as strong as his fists, but it would probably do the job in this fight.
Dilo, a vampire, was on the lean and slender side, compared to him, but still one hell of a fighter with his blond hair and sexy abs. He held no weapon for he believed his body alone was the mightiest of weapons.
"I attack you with my sunlight-charged sword attack Overdrive overdrive overdrive overdrive overdrive overblrblr!!" Jon said rapidly, his sword almost cutting and blinding the world with its power and light.
"It doesn't work because ice!" Dilo's cold vampiric body froze the sword, his coldness freezing even the field they were in.
"Surprise! The sword was on fire the whole time!" Jon exclaimed, as the sword ignited.
"Uhh- I break the sword!" Dilo countered, breaking Jon's weapon in two.
"I punch you!" Jon said, using the simplest technique in (not really) human history: punching stuff. Saitama would be proud.
"I freeze your hand!" Dilo rebutted, back to his power over coldness.
"Surprise! My hand was on fire the whole time!" Jon countered, for his passion will literally ignite his body.
"I attack your girlfriend to absorb her blood and regenerate!" Dilo stated, targetting Jon's girlfriend who was on the ground.
"Surprise! My girlfriend's blood has magic sunlight which harms vampires! Just like my own sunlight magic punches and fire!" Jon exclaimed, and Dila hissed as his face burned from the touch of sunlight-infused blood on his lips.
Suddenly a random Naz- German Soldier shot at Dilo with gunshots!
"I'm a vampire so I am immune to gunshots so all that did was annoy me really!" Dilo exclaimed before using that Soldier's blood to regenerate, his teeth sinking into the Naz- German Soldier's neck.
"I stop your regeneration with this magic rock that conducts sunlight a bajillion times stronger than normal!" Jon exclaimed, bringing the magic rock that created a brilliant light brighter than the sun, burning Dilo's legs.
"I SHOOT YOU WITH MY LASER EYE ATTACK!" Dilo exclaimed, his eyes glowing.
"Your what?" Jon asked before he has to duck as Dilo created a laser eye attack, barely keeping his head intact!
And then Dilo's head flew away, as he could survive with his head intact, therefore making sure that their battle would continue for a few quadrillion episodes, with a few million power-ups for each, a few trillion descendants to continue the fight long after their deaths.
"Curse you Dilo! I will finish you someday!" Jon said, tears flooding from his face as he remembered how many of Jon's friends that Dilo killed. Especially his Sensei!
(FLASHBACK!)
Dilo was in an open vast area, his vampiric abs glmeaming in the moonlight as he looked at his opponent with contempt.
Sensei, a muscular man with a moustache and long hair, and quite beefy glared at his undead opponent.
"Tonight I will defeat you, Dilo!"
Sensei threw a magic sunlight punch at Dilo! "Extendo arms Overdrive overdrive overdrive overdrive overdrive overbrlbrl!"
Unfortunately, Sensei's punch was caught by Dilo, and surprisingly, Sensei's arm was frozen!
Dilo, being the gentleman undead he is, decided to explain after throwing Sensei away.
"You cannot punch me because your sunlight punches use your blood flow and I'm getting rid of all the vapor from my arm which makes my arms like ice and my ice arm freezes your blood making you not able to use your sunlight punches on me!" Dilo said in one breath before he had to breathe feeling his lungs collapse from the lengthy monologue.
"I guess I cannot argue with that." Sensei said sadly as his arm unfroze due to the sunlight magic power he used after Dilo threw him away.
"Go, Big Guy and Hair Guy!" Dilo then summoned two more vampires to deal with Sensei (or zombies, it's really difficult to remember) while he flew to have a not-really-romantic relationship with four people.
Sensei looked at his new opponents. Big Guy was a big vampire guy, and Hair Guy was a vampire guy with long hair.
Sensei rushed towards Big Guy at a speed equaling 50 meters per second, but Hair Guy's hair extended at a speed of 51 meters per second, narrowly saving Big Guy.
Sensei used Sunlight Punches to destroy the vampiric hair of Hair Guy, but Big Guy was about to slice him with an axe.
Suddenly, Big Guy saw a guy flying really slowly towards him, with his legs extended towards Big Guy.
Big Guy, despite having plenty of time to DODGE the attack, got kicked away by Slow-Kick Guy, who can use sunlight kicks, so he could harm vampires (or undead really) and re-kill them!
"Oh no! It's the Slow-Kick Guy!" Big Guy exclaimed before the sunlight kick he was hit with seconds ago evaporated his vampire body.
"How! How could that slow kick that I could avoid, be completely unavoidable!?" Big Guy had another line before dying. for real this time.
"How dare you all kill my friend!? I will kill all of you! Kamigami!" Hair Guy shouted angrily, using his Kamigami attack to create a billion hair threads sharper than neutron stars.
"I will deal with it!" Slow-Kick Guy said, before slowly kicking towards the hair threads. Unfortunately, a slow kick was no match to a billion hair threads sharper than neutron stars, and he got sliced. "Ugh! There I go!" he breathed his last.
Meanwhile, while Hair Guy was dealing with Slow-Kick Guy, Sensei managed to ambush Hair Guy and punch him with a sunlight punch in the head, ending his unlife.
Sensei looked at the battlefield.
"Huh, seems that none of us are main characters." he said, before he noticed that Hair Guy's hair had already ended him. "I am... already dead?" then he died.
End of flashback.
(TIME SKIP!!!!)
The Plot is now back to Jon's adventures!
Jon was enjoying his honeymoon with his wife in a boat when suddenly, the boat exploded.
"My HuSbAnD!" the wife said in a broken voice as she was thrown into the next city that was a few kilometers away.
Jon had no time to catch her, as Dilo revealed himself.
"I blew up this boat to steal your body! Time Stop!" Dilo explained before using his "Time Stop" to stop time!
Dilo marched towards Jon as the time stopped, planning to stab him.
Jon suddenly shuddered even with time being stopped, moving slightly before halting.
"What!? How!?" Dilo asked, stopping for a moment, then resuming time.
"What did you just do!?" he asked angrily.
"Did what?" Jon asked.
"The thing that you did! Time Stop!" Dilo asked before deciding to stop time once more.
Dilo marched once more towards the time-stopped Jon, and he saw that a magnet on Jon was reacting to a magnet Dilo had on his shirt.
"Oh, it was just a magnet you managed to put on me at some point! Okay the-" he marched with a knife but just as he was about to stab him Jon suddenly moved and punched Dilo!
"Zfhsg nyf j,;i bj,!!" Dilo exclaimed, realizing that Jon really could move when time is stopped.
Dilo was reeling from Jon's ability to move even when time stands still.
"Black Stars!" Jon suddenly exclaimed.
All the stars of in the visible universe condensed into a large black hole, swallowing Dilo.
"Niflheim Fenriswolf!" Dilo used his power to "be faster than anyone or anything", to save himself from the gigantic black hole.
"Musphelheim Leavateinn!" Jon exclaimed, creating a domain reaching five kilometers made from the heat of all the stars in the known universe. And since it is made from sunlight, it is deadly to vampires, though no mortal can even handle the heat of 12,858,051,967,633,865 degrees celsius, anyways.
Steel vaporized, diamond melted then vaporized, gravity itself got scorched. Even panties, rumored to survive any attack in an ecchi series, got burned.
"Csejte Ungarn Nachtzehrer!" Dilo expanded his shadows and created a sphere of them around him to protect himself from the heat.
"Shurado-Shikoten!" Jon declared, as a golden spear, made of a heat compared to a nonillion (10^30) degrees celsius, condensed in a really small form of the golden spear.
The spear hit Dilo's shadow sphere, evaporating it, then hitting Dilo head-on, erasing his body.
Thus, Dilo died for good!
Probably.
"Hm, quite the fun story." the Plot spoke, before it decided to go back to Mary Sue and her band of muscular men and Antihero.
With a casual wave of its hand, Mary Sue and her band were no longer suspended in the Narrative Limbo, and we find ourselves in the heart of the most heart-wrenching drama yet.
Mary Sue angsting over her latest dilemma.
Picking her suitor between a bunch of totally perfect muscled dudes with all the personality of a cardboard.
As they were fighting for her heart in a shirtless wrestling match, she could only look at them fondly.
"Whoa is me!" She started sobbing, her simmering eyes shimmering like the simmering saphhires that shimmer like their shimmerness must do.
She was so angsty and shaken that her 'woe' had turned into a 'whoa'.
"How can I choose between these perfectly similar bodies and the perfectly similar personalities! Whoa is me, indeed!" She sobbed even harder.
How can she deal with this obstacle!? Even she, the most perfect girl who ever perfected being perfect, couldn't find how to perfectly deal with her perfect dilemma!
"Mary Sue, do you want me to hug you with my abs?" Bob asked calmly, not able to handle the sight of his love sobbing.
"Eh, just slice someone or something. That always made me feel happy." Antihero said with his broody voice, not caring about how she was crying.
The group did, with an epic fight against Megacorps!
The fight was so epic that it will take ages to write about how Mary Sue's perfect perfectedness and Antihero's angsty glares were vaporizing practically everything, while Bob, Anthony, Greg and Jeff's posing with their large muscles and abs made them indestructible. But it was epic and that is all what matters. The Plot said so!
Mary Sue smiled at the sight of the destroyed Megacorps in front of her.
"We finally defeated the evil Megacorps." she stated the obvious, as if no one could see that, literally in front of their eyes.
"Yes. We did. I can see that." Antihero deadpanned.
"Hooray! We defeated them! Sure, their employees are basically people who are probably working to live, but since they still followed Megacorps, they deserve everything!" Bob exclaimed, ignoring Antihero.
"Mary Sue, I want you to see how strong my biceps are right now! These biceps destroyed a lot of our enemies!" Anthony stated.
"I love destroying Megacorps! Even more so since the only person who controls the entire thing is one lazy CEO!" Greg said, his hard abs on display.
The group kept looking at the Megacorps building, ignoring the panic of the population behind them.
"Now, life will return to normal!" Mary Sue exclaimed.
"What about the citizens that are behind us, screaming and begging for help?" Jeff asked.
"What about them?" Antihero and Mary Sue asked.
"I miss Steve." Jeff shook his head.
With that, Mary Sue and the gang returned to the beach once more to relax, now that Mary Sue's angst was crushed for the moment. Of course, the Plot won't be so forgiving and simple.
--
Mary Sue, naturally, was walking, doing her important duty of evaporating any guy who looks at the women in the beach for more than five seconds, when suddenly, the sky turned red.
"What?" she asked, before she saw a flying head.
"Hello, Mary Sue! I am Dilo, and I am here to steal your body!" Dilo, the vampire who inexplicably managed to return to life (or unlife, depending on what one thinks is accurate).
And then he shot her with his laser eyes, which she deflected with her super magic powers.
"Wait! You're a vampire!" Mary Sue asked, seeing his obviously pale skin and red eyes. "Also, how did you turn this day into night?"
"That's thanks to my new ability, Rosenkavalier Schwarzwald, that turns the sky into night! Also, it drains your energy!" Dilo explained with a grin. "Now give me your perfect body! I will use these powers you have very efficiently!"
"Sunlight Punch!" Mary Sue, who conveniently learned how to use sunlight magic, threw a large and powerful sunlight punch that would easily reaches the temperature of a nonillion (10^30) celsius degrees, knowing that Dilo as a vampire can't survive against sunlight.
Unfortunately, Dilo stopped time, and as it was stopped, he put a magical rainbow mask and wore it.
Time resumed, and Mary Sue's attack hit him, but it did not kill him.
Instead, Dilo's magic rainbow mask managed to absorb the sunlight power, and made Dilo capable of evolving.
Dilo is now no longer a normal vampire, he is now a Daywalker Vampire! A vampire who could not only walk in daylight without being harmed, but is also immune to sunlight, sunlight magic.
And, he could also...
Dilo gloated, as now, he had became able to do something that no normal vampire could ever do.
Dilo could now use Sunlight magic. Now, with his most fatal weaknesses becoming a part of his own strength...
"I am..." Dilo grinned, looking at her shocked face. "Undefeatable."
Mary Sue and Dilo were just standing, looking at each other when an energy slash went above her head and tried to connect with Dilo who just flew above it.
Ir was... Antihero! "Oh, great. I was getting tired of slicing these mooks. Time to slice a real villain." he grunts, holding his overly large black and red sword.
Dilo looked unamused, throwing a laser eye attack at Antihero, but his rock-hard abs simply deflect the laser. "Oh, great, is this what we're going to do now?" Dilo asked, unimpressed.
"I am Antihero. I cannot be killed. Revenge and Edge never die. And I embody them." Antihero explained his unique power.
"Antihero! Dilo cannot be hurt by sunlight anymore! He became a Daywalker Vampire!" Mary Sue stated the obvious to Antihero.
"Yes, I can see that." Antihero said coldly, before unleashing a slash that could slice the entire world into 9999 pieces!
Mary Sue followed using her power to create more powers as the Plot required, and created an infinite amount of clones of herself and Antihero, as numerous as the sand grains in the beach.
And each of them used their ultimate attacks, with a power level of a quadrillion each.
All of them marching towards Dilo at a speed reaching billions of times the speed of light.
Dilo though, only grinned as he took the attacks head-on.
A large wave of destruction appeared from the clash, erasing the entire planet except the beach they were currently in, as the dust consumed the place.
Surprisingly, Dilo survived, unscathed!
"Hahahahaha! What was that!? Did you just try to tickle me or what!?" he gloated at the two and their armies of clones.
"How!?" Mary Sue asked in shock while Antihero grunted and held his sword to defend.
Dilo only grinned.
"A million, a billion, trillion or a quadrillion. All these numbers are not enough against my power level. What is a quadrillion against the Muryou Taisuu? My power level is literally, 10^88! A quadrillion might as well be the same as zero!" he gloated, before he concentrated his energy.
"Ever since I was returned to unlife, I was not amused. This world is too small for me. Too small because too many people live in it. I don't need other people in my planet. No. My UNIVERSE." he seethed angrily.
"What!?" Mary Sue exclaimed, in what could be the first reasonable reaction she did in her whole life.
"This world is so filthy. It needs some cleaning." Dilo kept speaking, as his energy blossomed, as a wave of narcissism and egotism.
"—Om—" Dilo started to speak the chant of his ultimate ability.
"Abokya Beiroshano Makabodara Mani Handoma Jinbara Harabaritaya Un.
Vajra Thathuvan.
Naumaku Sanmanda Bodanan Abila Unken Sowaka!
Tenchi Genmyo, Shinbe Hen Tsurikiji:
Manji Mandala— Muryou Taisuu!"
Time and space twisted, much to Mary Sue and Antihero's surprise.
Their clones disappeared, as if they never existed.
The entire universe was shrinking on itself, erasing all life as it did so.
Mary Sue and Antihero rushed to hit Dilo to stop him, but it was too late.
The wave of destruction, similar to a limitless Hakai-spam from the Dragon Ball Super anime, hit the entire reality.
Only Mary Sue survived, unconscious.
Meanwhile, Dilo, reveling in his victory, decided to buy a pair of sunglasses, and prepare to take over Mary Sue's body.
Soon, he will be truly invincible, immortal, and unkillable!
And now, all he needs is to take over her body!
Mary Sue's body was about to be taken over by Dilo, when suddenly!
"Woah!" Mary Sue woke up, on the beach.
Anthony came with his powerful biceps holding and lifting her delicate body, as if she was so fragile she would shatter if she moved on her own, even though her body can somehow contain the power to destroy all of the reality.
It was then that she remembered.
Apparently, she was only taking a nap on the beach the whole time!
Dilo did not attack her, and neither did he defeat her!
"Oh, great. You woke up now." Antihero came, deadpanning as usual.
"Oh, Antihero! It was terrible!" she sobbed, her tears shimmering like the shimmering rainbows, glowing with rainbow lights. "I dreamt I was having actual stakes instead of me easily defeating my opponent with my utter perfection!"
She left Anthony and hugged Antihero who was trying to force her away from him. "Whoa is me! Such a terrible nightmare!" she angsted, her trauma so strong her 'Woe' becoming a 'Whoa' instead.
Such terror! Such drama! Whoa is her, indeed!
"Not to mention that this also reminded me of my tragic backstory!" Mary Sue kept sobbing, tears coming down her face like a waterfall being chased by the TLC, and she just kept latching herself on Antihero, who was contemplating slicing her and be done with it.
What kind of tragic past did Mary Sue hide? Will Antihero ever feel love towards Mary Sue and stop being so edgy? Will the story get better? Will the Anonymous Writer stop being Anonymous and get the recognition she/he/they/it/insertpronounhere, ever deserves?
Let you see, for the writer probably knows the answer already, in the next chapter of The Epci Journey of Mary Sue!
