OK, so a pool of water isn’t the best mirror… But it does work.

My tanned skin is smooth; I can’t find a single blemish. My nose is perfectly centered, reasonably average sized. My hair is a long and smooth black (despite the recent bugs) and largely covers my ears. My eyes are a very dark brown, practically black, giving me something of an appearance of always being ‘interested’. My shoulders are quite narrow, and my arms are thin… and I have no idea how tall I am, now that I think about it. I am quite slender, though, not carrying an ounce of fat… well, except in ‘all the right places’ - my knockers are individually about the size of my head, and my slender waist balloons out to the sides and back into a badonkadonk that’s quite eye catching.

… and I’m getting some warm fuzzy feelings in my middle just looking at my own reflection. Great… well ‘Life’ did say she was giving me the ‘wanton wench’ package, which I suppose includes overactive hormones. Mind you, the view would have excited me before all this as well, so… maybe she didn’t touch my mind or heart? Hmm… Insufficient data. Still… ugh. I don’t like the thought that I might be the one carrying a child at some point in the future. Well… I’ve done what I came for, back to the road, such as it is, I need to figure out how to get some clothes.

OK, so, I wasn’t walking very far to reach the stream - I could hear it from the road, after all - so logically if I just walk away from the stream, I should find the road in short order.

…

I hate 'should'. Yes, by all sane logic I 'should' be back at the road by now. But no, this world doesn't run on 'sane' logic, it runs on 'game' logic. And I have no ranks in Survival. I must have failed the check to avoid getting lost. That's the only explanation I can think of for not having found the road despite walking for two hours. At least I won't starve. Not needing to eat or drink is part of the package I picked from Monsterkin Freelancer. Undead don't need to, so neither do I.

Still, that leaves me with a big old question: Where do I go from here? All right… so… the rules allow for following roads and watercourses to get rid of the need for a check, at least for where those lead. And I don't have any real specific destination I need to make, nor any timeline. All right, so…

I start by sitting down, and closing my eyes. Focus on my other senses. Starting with hearing. I can take twenty on anything that's deliberately repeatable when there's no consequence for failure, and I have pretty good perception… and Perception allows retries as a move action, of which I can manage two a round for now. So if I focus on nothing else for a full minute…

There. I can hear people talking; I can't make it out from here, but they sound happy. Yes, that's definitely laughter… cool. So I just go that direction for a little while, and repeat…

It's slow going, as I stop to reorient often so I don’t roll another Survival check, but fortunately it also isn't far. I find a small clearing in the woods, with a wooden palisade set up around it. There's a gate with a guy at the top next to it, in what looks like boiled leathers, carrying a bow and with a quiver at his back. His clothing is a bit ratty, but I'm hardly going to complain about that, seeing as I have none at all. Hopefully they're understanding folks… I figure a yarn about bandits will get me some sympathy? Craft is Intelligence based, and usable untrained, so my intelligence score of twenty-three should be able to let me do useful work and make a living as a carpenter or something until I can get my bearings. Maybe buy a map and compass, maybe join a party… I do need to get more experience and level up. I can pretend to be a wizard reasonably effectively… I can even prepare a few arbitrary arcane spells every day if someone needs proof. Including Cure Light Wounds, thanks to the Bard spell list, so I could pretend at being an Oracle or something as well if folks need a healer. Traps and melee I should be able to handle next level well enough… because I cheat.

As I enter the clearing, the gatekeeper spots me and I get a "Hey, who are you?"

Eh, I can deal with Chaotic, "Finally! Civilization! I was set upon by bandits," that part is a lie, "and got lost," truth, "could you perhaps help me out with some clothes and maybe a place to stay? I can work."

The man leers at me… ugh, stupid curse, "Come right in!" He gestures to some people out of sight, and the door swings open.

I head in… the village consists of a bunch of tents, and a complete mishmash of different quality goods… with no indication of anyone making anything. As I realize just how wrong this is, the gate slams shut behind me, and four men draw their bows on me. They’re disheveled, dirty, wearing what looks like badly boiled leather for armor, and appear to have rapiers at their sides.

Great. I just walked naked into a bandit fortress. And worse, I appear to be the only female in sight. They’re not firing yet… although I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

One of the bandits holding a knocked arrow speaks up, “Oh, you will work for us, yes you’ll work for us indeed… but you’ll be spending your time on your back, so you won’t need to borrow any clothes…”

I’ve no interest in being anyone’s slave, “I’ll take the arrows, thanks,” I retort as I begin casting a spell that might put an end to this in one go: Sleep. Unfortunately, that’s a one-round casting time, and while I don’t need to wave my arms or shout thanks to Telepathic Casting… I’m currently still stuck with casting times. And one round is forever…

The four archers on the ground let loose their volley at me, while the one that previously opened the gate draws and takes aim, but doesn’t fire yet. Two of the four arrows go wide… but the other two hit and sink deeply into my abdomen. The pain overwhelms me and I lose concentration on the spell, causing the energies to dissipate uselessly. Well… at least they’re close together… I run up and try Color Spray; this one is faster, but I have to be quite close to use it… and the guy on top of the gate was waiting for something like that. His arrow hits my back, and again I lose the spell… I’m seeing spots and now I’m right next to the bandits.

And it’s their turn… “This whore ain’t bleeding, boss…” one shouts out as all four on the ground let loose with more arrows. This time all four arrows strike true, and as my body gives out and I die for the second time in memory, I can’t help but think: At least I’m not getting raped today.

It’s dark when I awaken again. The Rejuvenation ability (copied from a degenerate poltergeist, that’s the one Death was particularly worried about me taking) reforms me where I fell, fully healed… which can be problematic (like it was for the guy who got stuck in an oven). I don’t hear anything of note - just the normal bugs of the night - so I take a moment to find an awkward spot between a tent and the palisades, and then concentrate to ready my spells. I was just ‘resting’ (in peace, or maybe pieces, but resting either way) for somewhere between two and eight days. Sadly, the main door is still closed… I’ll need to find a way to fix that. For now… for the Archmage Arcana spells I can prepare (copied it from the Legendary Medium - it’s an ability of the Archmage spirit, available at first level), I prepare Sonic Snap in place of Mending for one of my cantrips - I probably can’t hit anything with Acid Splash or Snowball yet anyway - and make both of the 1st level spots the Color Spray spell. Why? Because I think I might have done better the first time if I opened with that one… and there’s good odds it will let me kill them all in their sleep.

These guys don’t seem particularly organized… I’m not seeing anyone up on the wall right now. Good for me, bad for them. Trying to stay quiet and stick to the shadows, I work my way slowly to the first tent… where yes, someone’s lightly snoring. Stepping carefully past the scattered trash and drawing the man’s own rapier, I slit his throat. Would-be rapist… ugh.

Unfortunately, his dying gurgle is somewhat loud. I try to hide behind what looks like a convenient barrel… but I find I didn’t do a good job of it when one of them kicks the barrel aside… ugh. I’m not built for melee, yet… I react quickly and blast him with Color Spray, catching him off guard… and the kaleidoscopic blast of color overwhelms him; he goes down. Sword in hand, I slit his throat as well… and then look up to see three bandits pointing bows at me again. Ah, I get it. The noise woke them, the light show pointed the way, and slitting his throat gave them time to get here.

Two let loose, and both hit, pain searing through whatever passes for a nervous system in my current body. I charge up to them and try to get another Color Spray off… and the third’s arrow snaps loose as I start to cast. It hits, burying itself in my chest… but this time I manage to keep it together through the pain, and get my spell off. These guys have some tactics, but they tend to group together, which means Color Spray gets all three in the area; two of them go down to the blast of color. The one still standing looks at the blood… and runs flat out.

Knowing the spell doesn’t last long, I don’t pursue him. Instead, I slit two more throats… and the world vanishes.