In mid-July, at noon when most people would stay inside their houses at noon to avoid the ray of the sun at its peak, Chen Hao was humming happily walking without shade under the sun. He was not going to a wedding party but rather a funeral but the joy in his heart could not be concealed from the smiles in his face. It was the funeral of his business partner which meant that the business will be owned completely by him now. His old classmate is dead! His main business is of supplying coffins however, the two of them had also recently opened up a small shop
He stepped inside his Toyota Car and glanced at the funeral supplies inside the trunk of the car. He made sure he had missed nothing before heading towards the funeral site. As he turned on the radio, he heard the melodious voice of his lover Su Ming broadcasting the news.
He picked up his phone and sent a WeChat voice message to her. “Hello, I have just received a big order- an order of over 20 million dollars. If you are free tonight let go and celebrate my success…”
He turned on his air conditioner and soon a euphonic music sounded from the radio. His iPhone rang and he heard the same sweet voice from the radio laughing, “No! Bad guy! I have to help my colleagues in the evening. Let us meet again the next day. I don’t have time to talk with you as I will be on live soon.”
“Wow, this girl is really sweet, her voice really is amazing…”
Chen Hao was very excited as he heard her reply. He had yet to meet Su Ming yet, however based on the photo that he had seen on the WeChat, he knew she was extremely beautiful. He looked forward to meet her and finally wage a war on her that will last for hours. He could not wait to get his hands on her and he drooled as he imagined getting his hands on her long legs.
The sorrowful voice and solemn atmosphere put a stop to Chen Hao’s obscenity. He drove the car in front of a pile of folks wearing white and having miserable faces. He thought how blessed he was given the body he had would make most men jealous. Although he was 28 year old boss, he regularly went to gym and had a fairly muscular body. Coupled with his self proclaimed handsome face, he really enjoyed the envy of most people who had unhealthy and unattractive bodies. It made him feel pleased and bossier!
He had already arranged a group of older woman who were professionals in crying. He ordered them, “Cry bitterly, make sure you make me feel the sorrow in your voice, if it is not up to my standard you guys will not receive any money.” As they burst into tears, the atmosphere become more sorrowful. He quickly took the opportunity to apply eye drops and rushed into the courtyard filled with everyone with tears.
A corpse covered with sackcloth was lying in the living room. Chen Hao’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw the corpse, he screamed and yelled before jumping on the corpse, “My good brother, how could you leave me, how will I live in this cruel world without your help, your love and protection.
“Old Classmate! Old Classmate don’t be so excited, the dead cannot be resurrected, you need to carry on, you cannot let your grief turn you into an idiot and commit stupid mistakes.”
Several of his old classmate rushed up and grabbed Chen Hao putting a stop to his melodrama. He wiped the tears of his eyes and looked around for the wife of his ‘brother’. He squatted in front of a young woman wearing a sackcloth with filial piety, “Sister-in-law, I understand your sorrow however you need to stay strong. If you ever need any help in the future you can come to me, your business will be my business.”
“Thank you for all your help brother.”
The young woman had a numb face from all the crying and nodded mechanically. Chen Hao stood up and the tears on his face drooped like pearls. He needed to decorate the house and thus headed out. Although the cost of the arrangements was around eight thousand dollar, even after giving them a discount he earned 4 thousand dollars profit. Now that he was dead, he would even gain profit from the shop they owned given the arrangement was secret.
“Yo, Hao, you really act very well…”
A handsome looking young man stepped forward and commented as soon as he caught sight of Chen Hao. He laughed and continued, “Unless I am drastically mistaken, I remember you and Li Feng were used to have a lot of quarrels. His death should give you immense pleasure. Why are you then crying as if your parents are dead?
“Li Zhengyang! Why are you talking like that? Do you not understand the simple concept that when people die their debts also die with them. All the unhappiness and rivalry is no longer important now that he is dead. Why should I hang onto things when that person is no longer in this world? I have forgiven him and moved on.
Chen Hao rolled his eyes in annoyance and took out a cigarette from his pocket to relieve his stress. On the other hand, Li Zhengyang did not pay attention to him anyone and entered the house with a strange laughter.
Chen Hao was in a very bad move. The people he hated most were a pretentious bastard and a guy who was more capable than him. As he staggered towards his car, he caught sight of a gorgeous woman hiding from the sight of everyone under the shelter of the tree. Her seductive figure was extremely tempting to any man, thus he went forward to greet her, “Hi sister, why are you sitting here when it is so hot outside rather than entering the house with your husband Li Zhengyang.”
“I don’t want to go inside. He has been running around the whole morning for the disgusting thing inside the house and now I am having a terrible headache.”
The pretty young woman made an irritated face, her eyes conveyed another expression that he did not understand. She turned her head towards him and gave an important information, “That Mengyao is extremely lucky. I have heard that she will receive demolition money for the house from the government and it will be around 5 million dollars. She also is the recipient of his other properties and will not have to worry about her life going forward. This is extraordinary given the short span of 1 year that they have been married, she has really struck gold.”
“Really! How did he die though? Did he have a stroke?”
Chen Hao was extremely surprised when he heard of her fortune, he extinguished his cigarette and asked the question that had been bugging him. The young woman shook her head, “Nobody knows why he died, the coroner examined his body but found no evidence of foul play. He was not sure of the cause. It was a sudden death. He had fever some time ago, and although he was taking medication and was recovering, but he was found dead today in the morning. Chu Mengyao thus looked for help from my husband and he was the one to help her out.
“Yeah! Li Zhengyang’s relationship with Li Feng was very good …:
Chen Hao nodded subconsciously but his eyes were focused on the young widow Mengyao dressed in sackcloth had a devilish figure. Although Li Feng was a damnable guy, he married an extremely beautiful wife. He wondered why such a beautiful woman married a man like him, it was like inserting a fresh flower in cow dung.
“Brother Hao!”
Chu Mengyao was heading towards him as they continued the conversation. She spoke softly and gently, “Li Feng does not have any blood brother or sister to watch over him on his deathbed. I will watch over him tomorrow morning, so I need your help. I will pay you back later.
“Sister Mengyao, you are hurting my feeling by talking about money. I have had a brotherly relationship with Li Feng for so many years. I have already told you whenever you have any problem you can contact me, I will definitely do my best to help you.
Chen Hao quickly took out his wallet and handed a thousand dollars to her. Chu Mengyao thanked him with a polite smile but the young woman next to him was angry for some reason, “Looking at your eyes lit up with joy, it seemed like a teenager having the first awakening of love. It looks like a bachelor such as you likes young widow, perhaps you guys suit each other well given she has just received a lot of wealth. However, you need to be hurry up otherwise there might be someone else will pick up her first.
“Wang Mengxin, how can you say something like that, do you really believe I am such a man!”
Chen Hao stared at her face with a frown, however Wang Mengxin replied with a sneer on her face “Brother Chen, you don’t need to put up an act in front of me. It is her husband’s funeral, your supposed brother yet the joss paper that you will burn will be of inferior quality. You can’t burn money for the dead properly! What else can you not do? I wonder whether you will be able to catch the little widow in your grasp but even if you do you need to improve your acting skills otherwise you will be easily found out.”
Wang Mengxin rolled her eyes and gave a scornful look at him. She twisted her big butt and headed towards her white Mercedes. She was just like a prideful lotus alone and away from the contamination of the mundane world. Chen Hao really wished to slap her big butt and play her like a beast to make her surrender in front of him. He knew though that he could only wish for something like that and if he really acted on his impulses what waited him was only jail.
Cheng Hao took out the funeral items he needed to use. As he entered the room, he thought that corpse had moved, “Am I hallucinating? Did I really see the corpse move? I think I need to drink something to cool down.”
This is most of what I spotted for this chapter:
Toyota Car
Unless Toyota has a vehicle model actually called "Car", car should not be capitalized.
If you are free tonight let go and celebrate my success…"
Let in this context should be "let's" or "let us"
Let us meet again the next day.
This is, while not really incorrect, is a very weird way of saying tomorrow. Also it's stated that he hasn't met her yet, so meeting again would technically be false. I would suggest re-wording it to something like "Let's meet tomorrow" (please note you can do "let's" or "let us").
Although he was 28 year old boss
While I don't think 28 would be an age that would affect physical beauty too negatively or really have any bearing whatsoever on him being a boss, this line needs a very minor adjustment: "Although he was a 28 year old boss"
eight thousand dollar
Dollar here should be plural, so dollars.
Also as a side note on currency, it feels like you might've directly translated a different currency to dollar (i.e. Yuan to dollar) and didn't convert the amount in the process. A very very rough conversion is: 1 dollar to 10 yuan (it's actually closer to 7 atm, which is why this is very rough), 1 dollar to 100 yen, 1 dollar to 1000 won. Of course you might be using a dollar that isn't the U.S. Dollar, and that would change things.
Hao was in a very bad move.
While this is a proper sentence, in the context of what's going on, move should be replaced with mood.
The people he hated most were a pretentious bastard and a guy who was more capable than him.
This is weirdly worded. I would suggest something along the lines of: "The people he hated most were pretentious bastards and guys who were more capable than him."
He had fever some time
Another minor adjustment: "He had a fever some time"
Please do take all these with a grain of salt. You don't have to follow my suggestions at all, as there may be better solutions.
Thanks for the chapter.
As a first impression of the story, I would suggest running the story through something with grammar correcting capabilities, such as https://www.grammarly.com or even something like Microsoft Word.
There are a fair amount of just minor mistakes that makes it feel like this might be a decently written story that was written in another language then Google translated to English then edited by someone that is in the process of learning English, thus not anything major that seems incorrect, but many small things.
I do use MS Word. I know that English is my second language so there might be some grammatical errors here and there. I will be grateful if you could point my mistakes. I hope it is nothing major and does not spoil the reading experience. If the story does reach a decent following, i will consider hiring an editor. That though is a long way off.
@obesecharlie as said, it's nothing too major, just a bunch of minor things.
This chapter has the most while 2 and 3 (I haven't read 4 yet) had far fewer things. When I have time I'll try to re-read this one and point out what I had seen.