"Shit," I muttered under my breath just before my HP bar hit zero. I pressed the Eul's. My character spun around on top of a tornado, leaving nothing for Bree to kill.

My timing needed to be perfect; if she finished me off before I got my ultimate off, we were cooked. I counted down the seconds, and right as my hero made landfall, I pressed the R button. The loud sound of a lightning bolt striking overwhelmed my senses. I wanted to stab myself then and there. Did their mid player really use their global ultimate to finish me off right away?

Another sound, like a powerful magnet just got activated, I recognized it—it was my ultimate. Was I still alive? I looked down at my health bar. I was still alive. I had survived, but how? Above my health bar, I could see the tiny indicator of a Glimmer Cape being used on me. An item that could make you invisible and gave you a magic barrier—that’s what allowed me to survive the Thundergod's Wrath from their mid player!

The only hero who had even been in range to cast the Glimmer Cape was this cheeky little squirrel character in the woods, Jade’s Hoodwink. She had also bought a Glimmer Cape?

"Juggernaut down!" I heard her say as she, together with the rest of the team, used her full burst to take down the masked swordsman Bree was playing.

"You had Glimmer?"

"Just bought it," you could practically hear her wink.

"Kelsey, start sieging the tower. The rest of you, back her up," Rachel said, rallying the team back together.

Still alive, I was able to give Kelsey another round of Empower, allowing her to smash their buildings with ease. One minute and three lanes further, the Mega Creeps were streaming into their base, their chances of victory reduced to a single digit. With their backs against the wall, they tried to defend, but it was no use. Kelsey’s Troll Warlord took them out one by one.

As I understood what was happening, a weird sensation started building in my stomach, like I was holding it involuntarily. When their ancient exploded, the feeling spread through my entire torso, into my neck, and as it reached my mouth, I let it all out.

"YES!" I yelled, stood up, headset falling, and I smashed into my teammates. We were jumping, hugging, yelling, every bit of pent-up energy now out in the open. Around us, an ear-deafening applause filled the auditorium, that same EDM banger on top. I barely noticed the golden rain of confetti coming down on the stage. All I felt was intense relief that it was over, combined with a foreign sense of confidence. All this shit that had happened, every goddamn hoop I have had to jump through, this is what it was for. To show every flipping person in here that I was, that we were, damn good at Dota.

"Oh my god," Rachel said when the emotional hurricane we had manifested on stage started dissipating. "We actually did it, you guys are the best."

I pulled my arm around Rachel's back. "Couldn’t have done it without you—captain."

She didn’t respond; she was looking into the crowd, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. I followed her gaze. She was looking at her parents. They stood right in front of their seats, gracefully clapping like they were at a golf competition. They looked proud, but in a subdued kind of way.

I wanted to scan the crowd further, but my mind got pulled elsewhere. I could hear commotion to the side of me. Unsurprisingly, it was Bree. She was yelling at her own teammates, waving her arms around wildly. She yelled something I was unable to understand. Her teammates barely reacted, however. Two of them were just solemnly looking down at the ground. A third one was still focused on her screen, seemingly scrolling through the replay of the game we had just played. Their final player was the only one paying attention to Bree’s ramblings. She didn’t seem very impressed, and after a few seconds, she shook her head and turned around.

Bree pointed at me, threw her hands in the air, and started angrily stomping off the stage. The rest of her teammates gathered and slowly made their way to our side of the stage. Clearly, her feeble mind couldn’t accept the fact that she had lost. But whatever she might have been thinking, she didn’t deserve my attention.

"Hey, look," Kelsey said while motioning towards the defeated players trudging towards us.

We turned to them, and with as much humility as possible, we shook their hands. I barely paid attention to it. I didn’t look at them while shaking their hands; my eyes were on the trophy. And as soon as the handshakes were done, we all made our way over. Five hands lay on the trophy, five teammates smiled, and lifted the silver spectacle. Another wave of confetti rained down on us, and another standing ovation from the crowd made my insides tremble. Riley and her parents were standing on the front row, proudly clapping along with the crowd. As I met Riley’s gaze, she decided to go up another level by punching her fist in the air while yelling. “Undercover!”

While I loved her enthusiasm, I couldn't fully take it to heart. Because right behind her, slouched down in a chair, barely conscious, lay the dead husk that resembled my father.

***

As the sun started moving down to the horizon, its glow unfolded over Battingham like an orange blanket. The temperature had started to drop with it, but I really didn’t feel like going back inside. Through the windows to the foyer, I could see them all. All the happy families talking about their accomplishments, the silver trophy being handed around like the smiles they shared. My own parents weren’t among them, however.

A mother who probably wanted me dead, a father who was as good as dead, I sat alone. His body had already been put back in the car by Riley’s parents; it was probably asleep. Right now, they were talking to their daughter and Rachel. Rachel’s own parents had already left, but at least they had been there during the games. Every time Rachel looked at Riley, her eyes carried a certain sparkle within them.

Rachel peeked at me through the windows, then looked back towards Riley. She nodded towards me and handed Riley the trophy she was holding. A sly smile covered her face as she brought it close to Riley’s and gave her a little peck on the cheek. Feeling like I was witnessing something I shouldn’t be, I averted my eyes and looked back at the trio of trees in the middle of the garden.

It still felt weird, seeing those two together. They had always been part of two completely different worlds for me, but now those lines had blurred. There was no longer Shamesburry Riley and Battingham Rachel; no, they were both part of the same world now. The world of Battingham, the one I wasn’t a part of.

"Hey, buddy," Riley's voice broke me out of my introspection. "Are you okay?"

I smiled. She had sat down next to me, and in her lap stood the trophy. “Are you sure you want me to answer that?”

"Well, you did just win the tournament. That was the goal, right? You looked pretty damn happy on that stage earlier."

"I was." Looking at the trophy she was holding made my bowels churn. That moment on stage, when we all lifted it together, it had felt so special. But at the same time, hollow.

Riley picked up the trophy and placed it in my lap. “Look at this thing. It’s massive.”

"It’s just a trophy," I said, silently making eye contact with her.

"Look." She exhaled through her nose and maintained our visual connection. “I— I’m not so good at this thing.” She looked away for a second, curling her lips. “Things have been a bit— rocky between us recently.”

"You could say that."

"When we spoke— Just before that final match— I really meant what I said." She paused and put a hand on my leg. “I’m sorry for not being honest with you. About the move, about Rachel; you deserved the truth.”

I arched my eyebrows and wrinkled my nose. “Did I really though? I haven’t quite been the role model of mental stability over the past few weeks.”

"So what?" She chuckled. “To go through all the stuff you’ve been through recently, and still end up with that trophy in your lap, I’d say you did pretty damn well for yourself.”

“Then why doesn’t it feel like that? Why do I feel— defeated?”

"I don’t know, buddy." Riley rubbed my leg. “Does it help if I tell you I really missed you over the last few days? How bad I felt about not being able to be there for you?” She paused, and a slight silence fell between us. “Can we just be besties again? Forever together, remember?”

“Of course, I already forgave you rig—” Before I could finish my sentence, I felt Riley’s body smash into mine. The trophy jabbing itself into my abdomen made her hug kind of uncomfortable physically, but that didn’t matter right now. The way Riley was rubbing my back during our embrace told me this was real. She had really felt sorry for her actions, and this new feeling had kind of overwhelmed her it seemed.

When she pulled back, I couldn’t help but show a wide smile. It didn’t happen often that Riley showed any emotional vulnerability, and it would be a waste not to call attention to the fact. “Can you do that one more time but with someone filming it? I need to save this special moment.”

She cleaned her eyes with the palms of her hands, and I could see the corners of her mouth go up. “Just let me have this, okay,” Riley said while playfully punching my shoulder.

“Sure.” I looked away, past the trees, at the cloudy sky. “We’re such disasters.”

“Uhm, hello? How many times do I have to remind you that you won the flippin' tournament?”

I raised my eyebrows at her. “It’s just a Dota tournament, it doesn’t matter.”

“You dense little idiot.” She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why did you win the tournament?”

“I got carried?”

“Humility is great and all, but you really need to learn to take the W.” Riley threw her arm across my back, pulling us together, shoulder to shoulder. “See this?” She showed me her phone, a graph showing her data usage, with a massive spike visible at the end of it. “I have been watching the stream all day, texting with Rachel all day, have been with you on this journey for— most days. And you have been a cornerstone for this team, just like you couldn’t have done it without them, they couldn’t have done it without you. We all need a little help sometimes.”

I looked behind me, into the foyer, at my teammates, and their families. They would be going home with them, singing their praise for days. But I dreaded going home because instead of going back to my family, it meant leaving behind my family.

“If that’s so,” I met Riley’s gaze. “Can you help me deal with the lady that calls herself my mother?”

She moved her hand up towards the top of my head and roughed up my hair. “Way ahead of you there, bud, way ahead of you.”

Gwenington

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