“Hey, what did Alakazam say to you earlier, Sax?” Charlie curiously asked, taking smaller strides—aw, how thoughtful of you Charlie!—to walk beside me as I led our little group of four to Pidgeotto.

“Squirtle, Squirtle, Squirt, Squirt?” the young turtle Pokemon added, meaning, “Yeah, what did you do to him? He looks pretty mad.”

I looked back at the psychic Pokemon, floating cross-legged in the air as he followed us behind our small group. Alakazam completely ignored our conversation, looking ahead as if we didn’t even exist.

“Hmpf. Old man, I know you can hear everything.”

A gruff snort came out of the annoyed psychic Pokemon, and the others glanced back with tilted heads at Alakazam. I smirked, irking the hovering Pokemon that glowed in a thin outline of iridescent blue. With the cat out of the bag, I replied to my trainer in human tongue.

“Oh, Grandpa Alakazam was being super nice. He bravely stated that he would fight off any danger while we gallantly saved Pidgeotto. Don’t worry, Charlie. You too, Squirtle. Alakazam’s got us covered.”

Charlie rushed over to the surprised old Pokemon, latching his skinny arms around Alakazam’s side, and shouted with glee, “Oh, thank you, Alakazam! You’re such a good Pokemon!”

It was brief, but I saw the quickly hidden large horse teeth that grated back and forth from my exaggerated joke. However, I guess even Alakzam couldn’t help but blush at Charlie’s genuine show of affection.

“Alakazam, Ka-zam,” the psychic Pokemon said with a smile while patting Charlie’s head and pointing into the forest. He then glared at me, yelling into my mind, “Damn infuriating rodent, hurry up and show us the way!”

I giggled and waved Charlie back. “Hey Charlie, Grandpa Alakazam is super worried about Pidgeotto’s health. We should keep going. It’s not too far from here.”

Alakazam scowled at me, sending chills down my spine. But the old psychic Pokemon was relatively fast at hiding his face when Charlie happily looked up at him.

“Thanks, Alakazam! You’re a real hero! Show is the way, Sax!”

“Aye, aye, Boss!” I grinned, lifting one thin yellow foot in the air as I happily spun around on the other.

I marched off, leading my new homeboys in tow as we approached my one-time cozy, humble abode—a hollowed crevice in the tree in front of us. Seeing the nostalgic starting point of my new body, I hopped into a dash as I raced across the dirt ground and up the tree trunk to my home.

“Pika!” I called with a happy ringing voice, meaning, “Pidgeotto!” I continued speaking in Pokemon. “Guess what I found, buddy! Wait. I mean, guess who I found!”

The bird Pokemon I saved turned around, wincing in pain still from its broken bones, but its beak and face stained a dry, sweet-smelling smores, blue. “Sax! You’re back!”

“Yeah, I am,” I replied, looking around at the desolate spot of what used to be a pyramid of Oran Berries. “No wonder you look so plump. You had a field day with those berries, huh?”

“Oh sorry, Sax. I got bored and then worried. One berry turned to two, and before I knew it. They all disappeared. I’ll pay you back somehow.”

I laughed, “Haha, did you think I would not return, buddy?”

“I was uncertain. You are capable, my broken ribs can attest to that. However, human kidnappers, I was not so sure.”

I awkwardly grinned with a flat smile and scratched the back of my head at the pretty accurate prediction. “Well, you’re not wrong, I guess. BUT! It was of my own accord, OK?! Charlie would have never been able to catch me if I didn’t willingly allow it!”

“Charlie?” Pidgeotto asked, tilting its head.

I facepalmed. “Dang it, Sax. Yes! I got us a new trainer! He’s a good kid. Come on! Let’s go get you kidnapped!”

A deadpan look gazed back at me. “I jest, I jest! Tough crowd.”

“What crowd? It’s only me.”

“You’re a tough one, buddy,” I sighed, shaking my furry yellow head. “Alright. Come on. Let’s go. We don’t want Ursaluna to murder us.”

“Ursaluna? Who’s that?”

“Oh, you already know him. You remember the long-time bully you talked about. Which reminds me! Hey! You didn’t mention he was both a Pokémon and Human murdering bear!”

“Didn’t I? Must have slipped my mind, Sax.”

I furrowed one eyebrow. “A death-reaper bear. Slipped your mind. A true birdbrain, you are.”

“Hey! Rude!”

“Yeah. Me is rude. What was really rude was you not telling me so I didn’t almost die when I faced him off before he evolved.”

“You fought Ursaring?! I mean, Ursaluna?!”

“Yup! And I beat him too! Hahaha! Charlie could never have caught me!”

Another deadpan look.

“Ok, I escaped. I admit. Ok. Let’s go before we run into him again. I hope that the blood-lusting bear doesn’t come back for me. He was pretty pissed that I attacked him. I am curious why he hated plant types. They’re so zen-like. Who wouldn’t want a plant Pokémon?”

“Ursaluna, obviously. And not all plant types are ‘zen-like.’ There are some vicious ones out there. Especially the meat-eating type. I heard rumors that his kid Teddyursas were violently mutilated with their innards gouged out.”

I went dead silent. I guess there is more to the story.

“Tenacious rodent pest, shall I break down your little tree and drag you both out screaming?”

I gulped but was annoyed at the eavesdropping psychic Pokemon. “Yeah, yeah, old man. Don’t get your whiskers all tied up. A few inches longer of a beard won’t hurt you. Hey! Actually, can you help bring down Pidgeotto when he comes out?”

“Why? The bird must have flown up there. Is he not then capable of flying down?”

“No. I did that.”

“You flew the bird into the tree?”

“Haaaa. I made a pulley and air-lifted him, okay?”

“Air-lifted?”

“Just help him, okay?”

“Then before the sun sets and rises again rodent.”

“Such an impatient grandpa. Old age may have made you wise, but it did not make you patient.”

The tree glowed a thin blue before shaking violently, sending me bouncing into the walls, ceiling, and floor like bouncy balls.

“Okay! Okay! Stop! No more! No more! The hurt Pokémon! Think of the hurt Pokémon!”

The angry shaking stopped. I hit the wall, bounced off, and skidded one, two, three times before I lifted my cute, adorable face swollen off the ground.

“Alakazam! How could you treat me this way?! And worst, what about Pidgeotto?!”

“Look up, fool.”

The hovering bird, wrapped in psychic, glanced at me, making a weird face.

“You ok, Sax? Where did that storm come from? It just left as quick as it came.”

“From the asshole of a raging old man!”

Pidgeotto didn’t understand my drift as he floated out of the hole. The tree started to rattle once again, and I hurried out. “Damn you, old man!”

“Ha!”

I grunted and mumbled a curse as I—out of habit—turned my butt out and gripped the bark as I sidestepped off the branch and climbed down the tree trunk. “Your spoons will snap in half! Your spoons will snap in half! Your spoons will snap in half.”

“Pesky rodent. Your chanting of words means little when you have not the attack: Curse.”

“Hmpf.” I huffed, and a pair of hands lifted me off the ground.

“Sax?! You’re hurt! What happened?! Why did Alakazam shake the tree so much?”

I glanced over at the ancient grandpa Pokémon and smirked, “Yeah? Why, Grandpa Alakazam?”

He ignored me and flicked the middle of his three fingers. I was about to swear at him for flicking me off, but one of the empty Pokeballs from Charlie’s bag flew out and hovered in the sky.

“Oh! Right! Let me catch Pidgeotto and then we can hurry to the Pokémon center! Thank you for reminding me, Alakazam.” Charlie actually forgot about me and stood up and grabbed the Pokeball.

“Kazam,” the psychic Pokémon said, sticking out its nose proudly and nodding its head.

“I can’t believe you’re going to get away with this!”

No response. Only a smirk, and I grumbled. But I had better things to focus on. I huffed and flicked my head away, focusing on Pidgeotto, my broken-bone friend. The vengeful Alakazam lowered Pidgeotto down into Charlie’s arms. He should have done that for me too! But the guy held grudges and tossed me around like a rag doll. My body still aches, and I looked like a bloated Pikachu balloon.

“Hi there, Pidgeotto. Don’t be afraid. I’ll take good care of you, ok? Let’s get you inside the ball before we go to the Pokémon center.”

“Pidge-ot-to!” My buddy said with a nod. He was still worried, but Charlie seemed to disarm some of his wariness. Good ol’ Charlie for ya.

Charlie took the metal ball and gently touched it against the bird Pokémon. The metal monster in disguise plopped open its jaws and slurped inside my friend in a beam of red light. It clamped its mouth, wiggling back and forth in satisfaction. It stopped, with a belly protruding with my bird buddy that it ate alive.

Yeah. I didn’t like Pokeballs. Period. The fake sensation of my memories was not a fond experience. I liked the real world, but I would be okay staying in one if I met Ursaluna again.

Chalice jumped for joy, and I couldn’t help but jump too!

“Squirtle! Squirt!”

Squirtle too! Charlie’s energy was contagious.

“Yeah! We got a Pidgeotto! Hurray! Welcome to the team, Pidgeotto!”

“Tell you trainer we are to leave at once.” Alakazam sternly stated in my head, bursting my bubble of fun.

“Party pooper.”

“The woods are not safe. We are to return immediately. I must regroup with my Master.”

Alakazam was right, and I was wrong. Kinda. “Sorry. You are correct. Gary will be facing Ursaluna alone.”

“Not alone, for we, his loyal Pokémon, are with him. You will do well to also play your role, strange one. Your trainer is good. He deserves your respect.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m not a complete douche. He’s a good kid.”

“Hey - Charlie,” I slowly said, “Congratulations! But we should start getting back. Grandpa Alakazam needs to find Gary and help him out.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Alakazam! I forgot! Yes, please take us to the Pokémon center right away! And please take care of yourself and Sir Gary, too!”

“What do you know? You actually have a really nice smile, Grandpa.”

The horse-teeth, wide-grinning psychic Pokémon frowned but said, “Pest.” But his frown soon turned upside down. “However, I feel like I shall miss your annoyingness. If you ever need assistance, come to the Viridian Gym. My Master and I would like the opportunity to experiment on you.”

“What?! Screw-“

A snap echoed into the forest as Alakazam smirked and Teleported us away.