Alex parted the kiss between our tears and followed a path up to my forehead. He laid the lips there, sighing as he waited for me to come back to myself. My eyes were still closed because I was feeling the pain of the truth weighing on my shoulders. We'd broken up for a plausible reason, but that left me wondering what to do from there.
Silent was the only thing between us at that moment. Our bodies were still stuck together, but our minds were ready to wake up. The world we were trying to build was about to be deleted, and by the time we woke up, I wouldn't remember anything besides the last time we saw each other.
"I know that apologies will never be enough, Noah. But I would like to affirm that I do feel sorry." He whispered to me.
I acknowledge his words with a nod. I too felt sorry and even more sorry for our immaturity. Everything was bright as the sun now, and it seemed to me that another life was being left behind.
Suddenly, the sun came out from the sea. On that beach of our memories of us, we were both just sitting there to watch the system being shut down. We were at the limit of both worlds, a place where the simulation found a way to let Alex invade my head. I did have any idea that soulmates could cross each other minds, but now everything made sense. If Alex Diaz had my heart, it was only natural that he could own my mind as well.
"I want to say something..." Alex starts to talk, staring at the horizon, "You were the best person that I've ever met, Noah. And I feel sorry that things between us parted ways like that. But I... I believe that, maybe in another life, we can make this work."
I stared at him e saw sincerity shining for the first time in his eyes. There was so much resentment between us magically erased, that it was hard for me to remember the reasons for us to get through this. But I have already passed through enough to understand that your soulmate will not always be the better option for love. Sometimes it is needed to choose between what is good for you and what can't change.
"In another life, who knows..." I stutter, realizing the scenario is already fading and getting lost forever in my mind, "We don't have much time, now."
Alex stared at me. He was wearing the same denim jacket and his usual office clothes. He stood his hand for me, and I just looked at him, doubting if I should give him my last vote of confidence. And looking at him, it was easy enough to see another person in front of me. It was easy wanting things would go back as they were, it was natural to feel that that connection would always exist between us — because it was true —, but not every love lives enough to burn for an eternity.
I opened my eyes and took all the breaths that my lungs were asking me. My body was wet and I could feel myself being out of breath like I'd just drowned. I realized I was in a hospital-like room, full of computers by the wall in front of me.
Someone next to me started giving instructions that I didn't understand. The person was wearing a white coat, and I could read the embroidery on the pocket saying "Red Thread of Delusion". Right away, I understood where I was: it was one of those memory erasure clinics.
"Hurry! Check Alex immediately! Something very wrong happens here." They shouted.
Something wrong? My heart beat out of my chest, and someone put an air inhaler under my face.
"Sir, are you okay? Can you hear me?"
I nod, with my eyes wide open. The fear in me was abysmal. I did not know where I was, not even why those people were shouting at each other like orders.
"What happened? Where am I?" I asked for a guy in white.
He looked at me seriously. It seemed to me that they would tell me about my death, that I was a ghost or something similar.
"The procedure has failed. There was a data breach that came from your other half, which made it very difficult for the software to finish the cleanup. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to erase much from your memory and it would be quite dangerous to try to do so again." He paused, like he was still trying to understand the events himself, "I believe that this never happened before, not even between soulmates. Something really did not want to be erased between you two."
Between... Us?
"Me and who? Who' us'?"
The doctor stared at me, this time returning the gleam in his eyes with some kind of hope.
"You don't remember the name? Great, great. Ah, this is perfect! One of the main traces was sucefully erased, maybe that will be enough to erase a good amount of memories."
I manage to stare at him, even though my whole body was aching. Memories? What was the meaning of all of that?
"What are you talking about? Should I worry?"
He denied.
"No, you don't need to worry. If you do not remember, it means that it worked! So, we should not get in the way of the process."
The doctor walked to the computer next to my bed and typed into the machine. He pointed out some sort of report and seemed to analyze what the sheet was showing him.
"Hum… this is really really interesting, very interesting..." He looked at me with a funny smile, "You have quite a soulmate, uh? You are practically glued together. Pain doesn't usually happen in normal procedures, but I see here that none of the wires has broken. That was one of my concerns, as erasing soulmates is always more dangerous than normal couples."
"Did you… just told me you erased my soulmate?"
He denied.
“No, that wasn't possible. The procedure did not work, as I told you. I believe that separating soulmates so in love could be a fatal mistake for both of them.” He hesitated, looking a little confused at me, “Did you ever see the red thread in your dreams? Have you had any contact with your other half, even the slightest?"
I agreed with a nod.
“Yes, I've seen a lot of red threads. Even now before waking up."
The doctor nodded in agreement, writing it down on the paperwork.
“Okay… yeah, that's unusual. Maybe… if you really want to separate yourself from that person, you're going to have to look for some spiritual guide. There's nothing science can do for you, I'm sorry."
I startled.
"B-but why? Why do you think we can't move forward from this?"
He shrugged.
“Soulmates don't work in a simple way. Some bonds are weak, and others are as strong as one erupting Vulcano. Take everything from us. Sometimes the strength of Love is greater than the things we comprehend, maybe that's the case.
"You mean... we're stuck together forever?"
“I wouldn't say 'trapped'… just, you know, isolated. Somehow you two are very close to each other. So close, that you can feel one next to the other when you are trying to erase." He laughed, as if it was the funniest thing, "Is funny because this is the first time I see something like this. Is a connection so rare want to erase itself? Wow… it's really not every day you see this here."
Rare? I had a "rare" soulmate? I wasn't even aware of it. I knew that soulmates existed because that was very common. But less common were those connections that came from other lifetimes, or those that roasted them for lifetimes with one person. Apparently, mine was like that. We were connected since my first breath on this Earth.
"This is so absurd!" I said, trying to understand this mess "I only remember bad things about him, but I don't even know his name. How can I get stuck with someone so miserable?"
"You both are not "stuck", no. Just connected. These are very different things..." The doctor pointed at the computer, showing a series of codes — as if I would understand, “Here, we can see the similarities between you two and there are many of them. Some paths of life you have to go through with your soulmate, to evolve in the astral plane. But whether you end up together or not, is your choice. Spirituality never forces anyone to do anything, it is action and reaction, cause and consequence. Everything tends to balance."
Everything tends to balance. But was it true? I didn't feel like my other half balanced me, quite the opposite. If I was trying to erase him from myself, it was because we were better off alone. Something had to go. I needed to release all of that once and for all.
"Thank you, doctor, for everything. I will go forward as best I can, and look for an expert on the spiritual plane."
The doctor nodded in agreement. He walked over to the same desk as before and signed the paperwork with a stamp or three. He packed everything in an envelope and gave me a copy of the entire lobotomy procedure. It was the last trace I would have of my soulmate with me. That realization made me a little sad.
I jumped out of bed and picked up the papers with my weak hands. I would need to eat when I got out of there, but the emptiness inside me made me want to throw up just for the simple thought of feeding myself. Would it be like this from now on?
“I'll let you get dressed. If you have more questions or any symptoms within a few hours, call the clinic. We can run some tests and prescribe something to alleviate the impact of the procedure. I'm so sorry, Noah. I really am."
I nodded in agreement because I understood he meant well. I was sorry too. I was sorry that whoever was on the other end of the wire stuck with me for the rest of our lives. But I was even more sorry to know that meeting him again, would not only be inevitable but be premeditated.
Because we were meant for each other somehow.
