I can't believe Mayor Woodgay. She not only treats me like a criminal (which, technically, I am not), she also snubs me of my right to be at Dryver's key ceremony, and it's such a chickenshit move.
I glare at her, but she merely smiles. "You've caused too much trouble in my town, and you're not about to cause more during the event."
Is she serious? She knows that the only reason Dryver is getting a key to Journey Cove is because of me, and the least she can do is allow me to attend. But suggesting that she's incompetent gets to her every time, so that's the card I play. "You have no idea what you're doing."
She narrows her eyes. "You mind your little town, and I'll mind mine."
"Dryver isn't the man you think he is," I taunt. "He's pulled wool over your eyes."
"You just think he's terrible because he's always foiling your plans."
A humorless chuckle escapes me before I can catch myself. "He is not foiling any plans. Truly."
Woodgay crosses her arms, glaring at me with skepticism. "You're telling me that every time he interrupts you on your strange activities in this town, you're not bothered?"
"Nope. Not bothered at all." I smile conspiratorially. "Dryver doesn't deserve the key any more than I do." I open my mouth, ready to spill secrets, when she interrupts me with a huff.
"It doesn't matter, anyway. Dryver's the best cock a were-chicken can get."
My heart begins to race. "You... and Dryver...?"
Mayor Woodgay has the smuggest mug imaginable, and I want to swipe it off her face with my claws. But instead of violence, I go for something a little less likely to land me in jail. "I guess you'd hate to hear that I've been slurping up his schlong for the past few months as well."
"What?" Watching her face transform from smug to utter shock brings me boner-deep satisfaction.
"That's right. Has he ever knotted in you? Because I've never felt anything more fulfilling."
"That two-timing...!" She clucks angrily. "How could he?"
As her clucks rise in volume, I realize that I've revealed our secret relationship. So I decide to go all the way. "I suppose it's time for me to reveal our little secret, isn't it?"
"Start confessing!"
I chuckle darkly, making bumps appear on her skin like the fowl that she is. "Dryver has chosen me to be his Luna."
"That can't be!" Woodgay gasps. "The key was supposed to convince him to make me the Luna! I've been funding his stupid canids for over ten years!" She squawks indignantly, feathers ruffled. "He can't possibly think you're a better candidate for that position! You're a villain, for Dog's sake!"
I advance towards her like a lion stalking prey, and she backs herself into a deserted alley. She drops Chickenougat, letting the brainless bird run down the street without supervision. The delicious scent of her fear sends excitement coursing through my veins. "You turned me into a villain, dear Mayor." I place my hands on either side of her against the wall, caging her in. Feathers begin to appear at her neck as she panics. "You're a chicken. Why on earth would you expect a dog like Dryver to want a chicken as a mate?"
"I... uh..."
As Woodgay fumbles, a distinctive smell permeates the air, filling you with equal parts arousal and annoyance.
Of all times, Dryver has to show up now?
Sure enough, the wolf-man appears behind me, his dog-breath hot and damp on my neck. "I thought I smelled some shenanigans." Dryver shifts back into his human form with a smirk, canines poking out from his lips. He cocks his head to the side and locks his gaze with mine. "Good to see my favorite pussy."
I scowl. "I don't have a vagina, Dryver. You know that."
"Let me rephrase. My favorite feline."
"Oh. Okay." It's difficult not to preen at being called his favorite, but I think I succeed.
"Save me, Dryver!" Woodgay squawks, interrupting our little moment.
Dryver doesn't seem concerned, though. "You don't look like you're in trouble. I can smell him, and he's not giving off predatory pheromones. He's just got the scent that he gives off when he's creeping around my house."
"Wh- what?" I recoil at his words.
He grins, canines big and prominent. "You think I don't know that you spy on me when I'm taking a shower?" My suit suddenly feels hot and itchy as my whole body flushes with embarrassment, but he keeps talking. "Oh yes, you peeping tomcat. I can sniff you out every time."
"Of course he can," I mutter under my breath. "I should've disguised myself with colon-scented cologne or something."
Dryver waves his hand at us dismissively like he didn't just reveal my perverted pastime. "Anyway, seeing my favorite pussy getting close with my favorite cock really gets my juices flowing."
It only takes one glance for me to see that his jeans are definitely tented. A light breeze opens his blue vest, exposing his impeccably muscled torso, and my slacks tent, too.
Thank god I still have the peanut butter in my jacket pocket.
I reach into my pocket and quickly unscrew the top of the jar, then scoop a generous amount onto my fingers.
Dryver raises his face to the air and sniffs. "Is that what I think it is?"
I swiftly jam my hands down the back of my slacks and into my underwear, coating my crack with extra-smooth nut butter. Dryver follows his nose to the waistband of my trousers and pulls them down, but they get caught on my ever-growing crotch-sausage.
"Wait!" I yelp. "Let me unzip!"
He wastes no time in undoing my pants, smearing some of the peanut butter onto my balls and kneeling at my ass. His long, slobbery tongue licks and licks and licks, feasting on the creamed nut on my nuts until I almost nut my cream.
I can barely believe I'm actually doing this in a public alley, in front of none other than Mayor Woodgay. It's the first time this has ever happened, and I'm not ready for it to end.
"Slow down, Dryver. Please." My knees shake until they nearly buckle, and I lean on Woodgay for support. She doesn't look pleased, but I'm too busy getting my ass eaten to care.
Dryver pulls back and stands behind me, dropping trou and rubbing the head of his joystick against my slick back entrance. "You feel ready for me."
Mayor Woodgay bristles. "You guys are just going to fuck while pinning me to the wall?!"
Dryver laughs, almost hyena-like. "I'd never forget you, Woodgay. Our dear Hammy can fuck you while I fuck him."
"O-Oh! Yes! Of course, Alpha Dryver!" She nods like a bobble-head and shifts a little more until her wings appear, a hen ready for mating. It's ridiculous how her demeanor does a total one-eighty, scrambling to do anything to please Dryver. But if it works in my favor, I'm not saying a thing.
Turning to face the wall, Woodgay unzips her deep-indigo pencil skirt and pulls her pantyhose down. A tuft of feathers sprouts out of her tailbone. "If it weren't for Dryver I wouldn't be letting your feline phallus anywhere near me," she quietly clucks.
I shrug at her comment. "If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be sticking my cat-cock into you either."
Dryver cuts in before she can respond. "I think it'd be best if we worked this out with a little hate-fuck, don't you think?" The werewolf reaches around my body and rolls a condom onto my stiffy. "You've got so much tension between you and we need it resolved quickly." He positions my hips until I'm lined up with Woodgay's entrance, then nudges my butthole with his own magic stick.
And then he thrusts himself in, making me slip into Woodgay. She's stretchy and tight like a bunghole, but she's also shallow, and it's different from any other hole I've sexed before.
It suddenly occurs to me that birds, like reptiles, use a cloaca for both excrement and reproduction, which essentially means I'm actually fucking her vagina and asshole at the same time.
Holy shit, I'm fucking a feathered lizard. And she's getting anal and vaginal with just one dick.
Does she lay eggs, too?
The thought of having easy access to freshly-laid eggs makes my hips thrust harder and faster. My copulating movements grow desperate, causing my beloved hat to slip off my head and float down onto the asphalt.
We become nothing more than three sweaty, grunty people in an empty Journey Cove alley, fucking each other until we're a quivering, spasming tangle of limbs and torsos.
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaam!" Woodgay cries out as she comes, her squawk echoing against the walls of the buildings and disturbing a flock of pigeons on a nearby electricity line. Her cloaca squeezes my wang, making me roar like the majestic lion that I am as l sputter and spurt into the rubber. The spines at the base of my dick catch on her entrance, stopping me from pulling out, and Dryver holds me down, pumping furiously until he knots in my bum.
—
After the post-nut glow fades, the absurdity of our situation finally sets in: I'm hooked into Woodgay, Dryver's knotted in my ass, and we're all stuck together like some sort of were-centipede borne from interspecies sex.
Dryver looks down at his crotch and cackles. "Looks like we won't be going anywhere anytime soon."
Woodgay is nowhere as entertained. "Does this look like a joke to you?" Her wings flutter against my face, surprising me with the softness of her feathers. I rub my face into her downy back, making her squawk in protest.
"No, nobody's joking here," Dryver says with a mock-gentle voice. "But this looks like a good time to clarify the situation."
"Yes, Dryver, you better explain yourself," Woodgay demands.
Dryver doesn't react to Mayor Woodgay's heated challenge with anything more than a serene smile. "Hamdonger is now to be my Luna, and you, dear Woodgay, can be my Beta."
"Why is he your Luna, and not me?"
"Because I have peanut butter, and you don't," I offer helpfully.
Dryver immediately perks up. "Peanut butter?"
"Yes, yes. If you're a good boy, I'll treat you to some more peanut butter," I say.
"I can be a good boy! I can be the goodest of boys!" He pants and licks your faces until you're both covered in his slobber.
"You see?" I turn to Mayor Woodgay with a smirk. "Only I can tame this Alpha."
Author's Note
Hello! I hope you enjoyed this wild ride of a short.
I'm not sure how I feel about this being the very first complete story I'm posting on Scribble Hub, but here we are. It would be cool if you could tell me how you feel about it, though!
While I promise that most of my other stories are not as wacky and absurd as this one, it may be a while until I post them on this platform since I have several other large unfinished projects to complete. Here's to hoping I get them done sooner rather than later, haha.
Thank you for reading!
Love,
Ariadne
