Chapter Fifty-Three: The Honorable Lord Grungee
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A bit of a longer one this time. Enjoy!

As it turns out, trolls in this world were neither the smaller troll-folk who stand just shy of man, nor the more human-looking type of old Christianity. Instead, they were of Jotun–of giant’s blood.

Sat upon a great dais of stone inside a gloomy cavern lit only by their lantern lights was a creature far greater than any man. Even sitting, it towered over them many times. Dense muscles rippled across its body beneath a thick gut of fat. A pair of massive, bulging arms covered in wiry hair and stony skin gripped the throne as it watched them approach with dark, beady eyes. Adorning its stony face was a nose of titanic proportions resting above a man-eating mouth of cracked, yellowed teeth set in a thick, square jaw.

A crown of bones and moss sat upon a head of thick, braided hair that ringed it like a mane to merge with a long and messy beard interwoven with skulls, moss, and trophies. The troll's club, a calcified tree, rested against the stone throne next to its enormous hand that resembled a battering ram.

Bones and broken armor lay in offering beside the troll’s throne, piled up with great care. Gold glinted through the broken pottery and crumbling statues. 

The adventurers and guards stood in audience before the troll as it gazed down upon them, its tiny dark orbs flickering between them in curiosity and wariness. Before they could speak a great rumble emerged from its yellowed mouth alongside the smell of rancid meat. 

“Trolls call me harvest-bane, eater of swamps and devourer of mires, the great gullet and blood of moons! I am Lord Grungee, the most honorable! You have trespassed into my domain, but are wise enough to give me the grace I deserve! Speak and make no lies!”

The troll’s voice was an earthquake that rocked through Autumn's body and mind. 

Undeterred, the adventurer captains strode forwards to meet with Lord Grungee. Captain Arsit gave a well-practiced bow that the other captains followed with varying degrees of reluctance and skill. After straightening from his royal bow, he was the first to talk. 

“O great and honorable Lord Grungee, we are but noble adventurers out to slay foul enemies of yours and seek passage through your lands to do so. We harbor no offense towards your name or personage.” 

Lord Grungee leaned forwards in his stone seat which cracked under his immense weight. A gleam of interest and sly intent flashed through the troll’s eyes. 

“Enemies o’ mine you say?! Who?! Speak plain for Lord Grungee holds no equals!!”

Captain Arsit feigned hesitation as if unsure before speaking like he was unveiling a grand secret. “It is the goblins of the mire, my lord. They seek rebellion against your rule. In your name, we shall slay these foul betrayers and bring peace to your lands!”

A myriad of expressions rolled over the troll’s bulbous features: shock, anger, confusion, before settling on a vainglorious look. He seemed pleased by the declaration of vanquish over subjects he didn’t recall having, but like all egoistic rulers, he didn’t correct them to appear greater than he was. However, even with their crusade in his name, greed and hunger burned in his dark eyes.

All this information flashed by Autumn’s eyes in a single moment as she watched with eyes darkened by magic.

“Good!” He boomed. “Haha! Good! Even so, a toll must be paid, for what’s a troll if not that?! Haha!!” 

The cavern quaked with his booming laughter, but there was no humor in his eyes, only a malicious desire. 

“And what is it that your lordship desires?” Captain Arsit asked calmly as he smiled and eyed the troll with an equal lack of humor. 

The troll licked his fat lips. “I haven't eaten in a half-day, far too long, and you have so many men behind you.” 

Voracious eyes roamed over the gathering. However, they stalled upon Autumn as she stood in the gloom. The hungry troll took in her tattered witch’s hat and dark inky eyes. Almost imperceptibly, he hunched in on himself, shrinking away from her gaze before moving on and pretending she didn’t exist. Autumn blinked, taken aback by the display of wary intelligence from the enormous troll. 

Perhaps he’d met a witch before?

Lord Grungee continued on. “Spare a few for my lunch and you shall pass my lands unhindered.”

Muscles tensed as adventurer hands gripped their weapons tightly in anticipation of sudden violence. A creeping grin of yellowed teeth spread across the troll’s face as he gripped the calcified tree. The atmosphere boiled with tension. 

“Yeah, that ain’t happening—” “Wait a moment, my lord!” 

Gilralei’s shout interrupted the impending confrontation and the elegant bard gave a showy bow to the startled troll. 

“My lord, there is one thing we would give thee. On our way here, we slew a great and terrible beast: Die Täuschung. Our intention was to return it to our liege-lord, but for passage we shall grant a portion to thee. A greater prize you shall never see!”

Gilralei signals to the other bards of her party. Nodding to her, they grabbed at a spot of empty air and mimed dragging a heavy beast towards the troll. If Autumn didn’t know any better, she’d have fallen for it; the bards were that skilled in mimicry. They grunted and groaned in sync as they dug their heels into the ground. 

Lord Gungee squinted at them, confused and suspicious. He sucked great gouts of air into his engorged nose. 

“What beast?! I neither smell nor see it!! Are you mocking the honorable Lord Grungee?!!!”

The cavern shook once more as he boomed. Gilralei maintained an atmosphere of servile ease as she danced with the movements of the roots. 

“Certainly not!” She gasped as if offended. “Die Täuschung is a beast of impossible invisibility. This predator is a master of camouflage, even in death!”

Lord Grungee squinted at the area the bards had ‘deposited’ the so-called invisible beast.

“What of its smell?!!”

“Invisible too!” Gilralei grinned charmingly at the suspicious troll. 

A great heavy fist reached out to grab at the offering and passed through it. The roots below snapped under the impact, sending the adventurers stumbling once more. Lord Grungee frowned and stared angrily at the bard who remained unfussed but for a drop of sweat that rolled down her nape. 

“It’s invisible to touch, too! It’s astounding, but its taste is unrivaled. We had a portion ourselves and it was the greatest meal of our puny lives. A much greater feast than a few scrawny adventurers or guards, for sure!” 

Around her the gathered bards gave looks of satisfied wistfulness of a wondrous meal. Their looks of rapturous satiated appetite had the troll licking his lips in an imagined feast of a great beast. His looks of disbelief turned into ones of avarice. 

Autumn admired the guts it took to bluff a beast that could eat her in a single bite. 

Lord Grungee grunted. “I will take it all in tribute and you may pass through my lands!!” 

Gilralei shifted in place with a look of hesitation plastered on her furrowed brow. She appeared hesitant to leave behind the greatest meal of her life. The troll shifted possessively on his throne, a deep rumbling growl on his bared lips. Hastily, the bard bowed. 

“You are as honorable as your name. We shall not disturb you further.” Gilralei bowed once more before quickly backing out of the chamber. “Hurry now! Pick up the pace!”

Following behind the rapid pace of the bard, the adventurers broke out of the troll’s lair. As soon as they were out, they ran. Dense roots and trees passed by in a rush of movement. Ahead of them, the dim light of the covered sun shone in the entrance in a tantalizing display. 

Suddenly, the cavern was rocked by a deafening shout.

“Treachery!!!”

While trolls were certainly stupid, they weren’t that stupid.

Autumn stumbled as the ground below her twisted. Glancing back, she watched in dread as the entrance to the troll’s large exploded in a shower of splinters. Emerging into the darkness of the tunnel was Lord Grungee with eyes blazing with pure malevolent hatred. His stoney brow cracked as a bellow ripped free of his massive jaw that shook the caverns again, sending the thousands of bats bursting into the air in a cacophony of shrieks.

On the troll came like a freight train with aggressive, pounding strides. And like a train it bellowed out a warning, but a constant roar instead of a long whistle. 

Autumn’s heart fluttered in her chest as she pushed her limbs to their limit, around her the others did the same. 

Edwyn huffed as their shorter legs had to work twice as hard. “I…ain't..’huff’...built for running. We Manus are…more sprinters.” 

“Shut up and run!” Nethlia bellowed as she kept pace with them, her longer legs could’ve left them behind by now. 

The Duskguard trailed behind the adventurers, desperately running around the twisting roots as their arms and armor slowed them down. Captain Morlech was steadily falling behind, a look of pure fear plastered across his flushed face. 

A whistling sound cut through the clatter of armor and the earthquaking footfalls. Casting a glance over her shoulder, Autumn saw the troll’s club sailing through the air, thrown at an incredible speed. The projectile scythed through the air before crashing down upon a guardsman, turning him to nothing but a red smear upon the roots.

The roar of triumph spurred them to run faster. 

They wouldn’t make it; the troll was too fast and the safety of sunlight was too far away.

Autumn ripped her wand free of her sleeve and sent off a barrage of jinxes to slow the onrushing troll. Purple magic splashed harmlessly against the stony hide. Her magic found no purchase on the monstrosity’s mind or body. A pair of beady eyes burned as they bore into the witch’s back. 

“Oh come on! Not again!”  

A hail of spellcraft followed behind Autumn’s: runes that sprouted with entangling thorns, spells that detonated the air, arrows of light that pierced, and cutting magical songs. Yet it all was ineffectual. The troll ripped through the clinging vines, pushed through the burning ozone, and remained unscathed by the piercing and cutting spells. 

Despair lingered in the air as it grew closer.

Autumn rushed past a pillar-like tree and a drastic plan hatched in her mind. Saving her breath and keeping her plan from the large ears of the troll, she sent off a whisper into Nethlia’s mind. 

[We can’t outrun it. I have a plan, and I need you to trust me for it to work.]

Nethlia blazing eyes stared into Autumn’s self-assured dark orbs. After a beat she nodded. 

[Alright, tell me what to do.]

With a relieved smile on her lips, Autumn sent off a few more whispers to those around her to enact her plan. 

The troll was so much closer now, almost grasping at their heels. 

As they passed another tree pillar, Autumn ground to a halt and leveled her wand at the troll. The jinx crashed into the troll’s eye. While harmless, it still triggered a natural reaction to flinch. The troll staggered before whipping its head around to glare at the witch standing stationary in defiance before it. At the sight of prey not fleeing before it, a bubbling anger blinded it and rushed headlong.

Autumn's heart pounded in time with the quaking. Just before it reached her, she leapt to the side, rolling out of reach of the long limbs and cracked fingernails. Unable to stop in time, the troll collided with a thunderous crash into the tree behind her. 

From above snapped branches crashed down and pinpricks of light fell upon the dark tunnel. 

As the troll staggered in place slightly concussed, a wave of spells and arrows assaulted it. The adventurers and guards had ceased running just beyond the tree and now peppered the vulnerable monster. Even though the attacks had little effect on the stony hide, it still irritated the troll something fierce. It turned with a bellow and lashed out at the gathered group, knocking those out position away like scattered dolls.

The few wounds that appeared on its flanks by lucky strikes healed at an impossible rate until an acid rune burst upon it. A painful and fearful cry resonated in the tunnel. 

One guard, either far too brave or foolish, attempted to lance the troll’s throat only to be seized in a mighty fist. Before she had a chance to scream, yellowed teeth bit her in half and her lower half was tossed aside like refuse. 

“I am Lord Grungee!! I am the hunger of the swamps and hold no equal!! You are but my nourishment!!” 

A meaty hand lashed out faster than anyone thought possible for such a large creature and engulfed one of the Lepus chevaliers. Bone armor cracked and splintered as the beast squeezed. Tears of blood ran down the eye-slits of the knight as they uselessly struggled, their iron sword biting less than an inch into the tough hide. 

“Rashe!” His companions cried out in horror as he was slowly crushed by the cruel beast. 

Suddenly a pebble cracked against the back of the troll’s head and a stuttering voice yelled out from behind. 

“H-hey! Y-you dumb trollop! I bet your mother sucks jötnar dicks!” 

The honorable Lord Grungee, the self-proclaimed hunger of the mire, paused as he was insulted in a giant’s tongue. The crumpled form of Sir Rashe fell to the floor with a pained groan. Slowly the troll turned to take in the quivering witch standing before the cracked tree. A burning anger flared in its eyes far far deeper than ever before. 

“What. DID. YOU. SAY?!?!” 

The bellow rocked the cavern once more, but Autumn remained undeterred, if a bit weak-kneed. 

“I said: Your mother is a jötnar’s whore!”

The next roar deafened Autumn and the thundering of the troll feet sent her to her knees. In its overflowing rage the troll hardly heeded the precarious nature of the once-collided tree in front of it, the only thought in its mind was to kill the insulting witch. Like a titan or a collapsing mountain it came. 

Autumn held her ground as best she could on shaking knees and raised her quavering hand high and waited. 

It took but a second for the troll to reach her. 

From her wand came a turbulent blast of violet violence. What burst forth was not an ordinary Jinx of Fear, as much as one could call fear magic ordinary, but an overcharge spell that crested into another level of power entirely. She’d learnt from her failure at Everwatch, and had forged the painful experience into a new spell, her own tweak on the one left for her by an absent witch.

Autumn’s Jinx of Fright™ collided heavily with the troll’s face like a giant’s fist, knocking it off course and into the splintered tree. The weakened tree detonated in an explosion of splinters. Time held its breath as the tree creaked and tilted before falling away from them with a cacophonous boom. 

Sunlight streamed in from the rare gap in both the canopy and the clouds to alight upon the stunned form of the troll. In absolute terror, it flung its meaty hand in front of its eyes and screamed.  

“Noooo—” Its voice silenced as it turned to stone.

Silence engulfed the tunnel as its ruler died. 

Autumn’s muffled voice broke into the lull. “Can somebody get me out of here?! I’m trapped underneath a root again!”

Die Täuschung = The Deception

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