There was a warm body against hers. Against her back, more precisely.

Aelfeva had been vaguely aware of cat-sized warmth and pressure against the backs of her knees and had let herself drift off again, barely alert enough to register that it was Sadrilde looking for a comfortable place to sleep.

But this was much too large to be a cat.

Aelfeva struggled out of sleep and rolled over, moving towards the far side of the bed as she did.

The other body on the bed twisted around fluidly to face her and opened eyes that caught and reflected the faint light of stars and moon. She heard a yawn. “Did something bite you?”

“What... Sadrilde?”

“Of course. I mean, I could help Jos sneak in, but I don’t think he would, and no one else should be here. I’m sorry, did I scare you by changing?”

“I... I wasn’t expecting it.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just comfortable.” From the faint rocking of the bed and the motion she could track in the darkness, she thought Sadrilde stretched, then relaxed. “Oh well. It’s a good time to ask.”

“Ask what?”

“How you really feel about me and Josceran and you all in one house. I like Josceran a lot. When he’s not exhausted and upset, he makes me laugh, and sex with him is fun. I’m glad I could help him at least sometimes. I could have stayed up north but I wanted to see other places and I wanted to stay with Jos. But I know humans have different feelings about sex and there’s that whole thing about getting married meaning that you’ll only ever have sex with each other. At least in theory. I’ve seen humans sneaking around breaking that promise. Promises should be kept.”

Josceran had told her that Sadrilde was going to want to know that there was no deception.

“A lot of humans do. Honestly, I don’t understand why it matters. Well, I do logically. A lot of men really want to be sure that the children they raise are their own blood, and it’s hard for them to be certain if they think that the mother of their children had sex with other men. And no, I don’t know why their own blood matters so much to them. I also don’t know why the same men who are so anxious about their wives are fine with men having sex with other women.”

“You know humans are irrational and contradictory and confusing sometimes, right?”

“Definitely. I’ve been completely confused by all of this my whole life. I still don’t understand some of it and I’m not sure I ever will. I’m glad Jos is used to that, otherwise things could be really awkward sometimes at best. There’s a lot I don’t know. I’ve never actually been even curious about sex before. I never felt anything at all for anyone. I mean, things like friendship, sure, but not... not just really liking touching someone. Now I’m curious about sex but I don’t know whether I’ll like it or not.”

“It’s not quite that simple. There can be things you like and things you don’t like.”

“That just makes it more complicated. What if something I don’t like is something Jos really likes? Or the other way around?”

“You could ask me? It might be something I like.”

“And that’s a really good reason for me to be happy that you’re around, and to not be jealous or anything ridiculous like that.”

“That makes sense. We don’t actually know each other very well yet, but Jos matters to both of us and he’d be upset if anything happened to either of us. Probably we just need some time. Although I sort of feel like I do know you. Jos talked about you a lot. All of his friends, but you and Ferrand more than anyone. He felt bad about some of the things he used to do but he smiled a lot when he was talking about you. So I was really looking forward to meeting you for real.”

“I can’t say the same, but I don’t think Jos would care so much about anyone I couldn’t be friends with.” She chuckled. “There are multiple songs and old stories about it being very bad for a man if his wife and his lover start talking to each other. Although they always assume that the only thing they’re going to talk about is him.”

“Why is it bad? Wouldn’t it be better if they like each other?”

“That seems more sensible to me. I think sometimes they’re implying that the two women are going to be comparing how they see him and making fun of him, or something. And maybe that the wife isn’t supposed to know about the lover, and possibly the lover doesn’t know he’s married. Or something. I don’t know, honestly. It might be that jealousy thing, too.”

“It’s all just strange. I can think of lots of things we could talk about other than Jos. And things we could do, including sex with or without him, although not right now. I only care about whether I like someone and whether they honestly want to be there, not whether someone is a man or a woman or whatever. Anything can be fun, and since I don’t plan to have kittens, it doesn’t really matter.”

“I... genuinely have no idea who I might be attracted to other than Jos. I’ve only gotten as far as, it seems to be absolutely necessary for me to be a woman, not a man, in order to feel anything at all. But I don’t think I’m... not? And kit... children... I’m not sure how I feel about that either. I really hope the ways women keep from getting pregnant by accident work as well as Teoda says they do.”

“That’s all right. Some people only like sex one way. I don’t understand, but I can respect it. I’m just making sure you know how I see it, because I do know, and now you know that I’m open to that. Also, I can make sure I don’t get pregnant by accident, I can probably help you too.”

“That would be reassuring. I don’t know if I can, but I’m not in any hurry to find out. Officially, and just so it is absolutely clear, I am not going to get jealous if you’re living with Jos and I and you two are having sex sometimes. And once I have some idea where I fit into that, I’ll tell you and Jos.”

“That’s perfectly fair. And no one else needs to know. The rest of Rosebridge will just think you have a cat living in your house. Except your siblings. I think I like them.”

“Rosebridge will already be scandalized. They’ve known me forever as the reeve’s oldest son and general helper.”

“What’s a reeve?”

“A town or a village elects a reeve every three years. Usually it’s someone wealthy, because it’s unpaid work and a lot of people are already working all the time just to stay alive. The reeve acts as a spokesman with any officials sent by the King, arbitrates local disputes, keeps the peace, makes sure the road and common areas are maintained, organizes defences if the town is attacked which is usually particularly-ambitious bandits but could potentially be a foreign army or something. Every male over fourteen is required to have a properly-maintained spear and know how to use it in formation. Most people can’t afford a sword and don’t have anyone to teach them to use one, we’re the exceptions, but we have to be in the drills too. He can arrest someone who commits a major crime and decide how to make sure they stay out of trouble and are still in reach when the judge comes by twice a year, and he makes the final decision about whether something should be investigated as a crime and whether it should be presented to the judge or whether to assemble a group of respectable citizens to hear the evidence and make a decision, although partly that depends on a victim pressing charges or the next of kin demanding justice and he can’t do anything without that. A lot of different things that are mostly about making sure that the community runs smoothly and that everyone feels like they have safety and justice. He does everyday local things on his own and gets someone higher involved if it’s more serious or involves anything outside the town.” It wasn’t her best explanation, but it was the middle of the night and it felt like a fast change of subject. She hoped it made sense.

“I think I understand.”

“Rosebridge has probably been expecting to start electing me as the reeve when my father decides he’s done it long enough. They’re used to me being around checking on things for him, and just helping out the neighbours when they need a hand, never doing anything that upsets anyone. They’re going to be rather badly shocked when I come home different.”

“Are you going to stop helping out neighbours and start upsetting people? And are you saying they can’t elect you as reeve now?”

“Of course I’ll still help, but I don’t know if they’ll even let me. I might upset people just by being there, at least for a while. And there’s never been a woman elected as reeve. I can’t think of any reason under current laws why that couldn’t happen, but it probably won’t.”

“They’d rather have someone who isn’t as good at it but happens to be a man?”

“They’d probably be fine with my brother. And he would be good at it, although he’d have to learn more because he didn’t expect to need it.”

“That’s all really ridiculous.”

“Probably. I never really thought about it before but there are a lot of little unspoken rules about what kinds of things women just aren’t supposed to do or aren’t supposed to be good at. I don’t know what a lot of them are so I’m almost certainly going to upset some people.”

“Mm. That’s their loss. You won’t upset your stallion that matters so much to you, though.”

“You said he’ll know me anyway? How? He doesn’t really like or trust anyone except me. He’ll only partially accept Guillen, and he likes anyone else even less.”

“Humans focus on superficial things. Only a human would say, ‘Oh no, you have breasts and long hair and your voice changed and you have different parts between your legs, that means you’re not the same person anymore!’ He won’t care about whether your voice is higher, he’s going to notice the way you speak to him, your tone and inflection and that sort of thing. He won’t care if your hands are smaller, he’s only going to notice the way you touch him. Those things will be the same and that’s what he’s going to care about. Your smell will be a bit different but your smell changes all the time anyway, with what you’ve eaten and whether you’re sick and what you’ve touched and when you last bathed and whether you’re fertile and more other things than there are stars. There’s a centre to it that always stays the same and he’ll recognize that, too, under everything else. He’ll know you.”

“I really hope so. He’s one of the most important things in my life. I miss him, I’ve never been away from him this long and I hope he’s doing all right and doesn’t think I’ve left him. He has a pasture and a few mares and their foals from this year, some of them are his, and he’s probably just fine spending his time with them and being protective. I’m going to have to take him out for a long ride as soon as I can when we get back.”

“I think I see why he trusts you. I mostly don’t understand horses very well but this one must be special if he matters so much to you.”

“I don’t know what you’ve heard, but we won’t be living in Giefroi’s house. Rich and Teoda will be living in a cottage by the orchards. Jos and I will be living with my parents and grandmother until we can build our own house. They won’t complain about a cat. My mother’s maids might want to pet you a lot.”

“I might let them. It depends on how I feel and whether they’re good at it and whether they give me treats. Being somewhere not in that man’s house would be better for you both.” Sadrilde yawned. “Probably we should try to go back to sleep. Tomorrow is the last day before Sunna’s Day, and I think you’re going to have to explain some things to your families, no matter which decision Herlinde makes. You should be rested for all that.”

“Falling asleep is hard these days. My mind won’t slow down unless I’m exhausted.”

“I’ll help. Just get comfortable.”

Aelfeva rearranged herself, which put her back towards Sadrilde, but that was apparently not a problem, because Sadrilde just curled herself into a ball with her back against Aelfeva’s, on top of the blankets.

This might be even better, especially in the middle of winter, with Josceran to snuggle against as well... but who would get the warm spot in the centre?

Sadrilde began to purr.

That was the last thing Aelfeva was aware of.