I hesitate at Katherine’s door, leaning against it instead of knocking. I reach down for my phone, pulling up the messages we had been sending each other.

‘You’re being stupid,’ it read. ‘No one is mad at you, we were just worried. Just come over and talk to us tomorrow.’ 

I sigh, and slide my phone back into my jeans. I still don’t feel good about snapping at them the other day, but that’s not the reason why I’ve been hesitant to meet up again.

I spent the entirety of yesterday hiding out in my own apartment. As soon as I got home, I found where I had stashed my phone and had texted Kitty to tell her that I was home earlier than I expected to be. I went with that lie that Meathead came up with on the fly, that I had got some mild burns while moving kitchen stuff around and so my ‘cousin’ let me go home.

Didn’t get a response right away, though. Considering how early in the morning it was at that point though, it made sense that she was asleep. I didn’t bother texting David, since we always met up at Kitty’s place anyways. Exhausted, I made my way to my bedroom to start getting ready for bed. But, I dunno. I crossed the large mirror in my room and got a glance at myself, and had to stop. 

Peeling the then-masculine clothes I was wearing for my extremely daring, extremely boring and safe walk home from Basilisk’s hideout, I made my way closer to my mirror. Honestly, it was kind of a shock actually seeing myself. I had gotten used to looking down and seeing the glass from a first person perspective, but this was the first time since waking up that I actually got a good look at myself. Honestly, it was a little shocking; the glass intruding in my chest like that. It was foggy, slightly pink and slightly pearlescent, but still somewhat see through. You couldn’t see any gore, but if you looked hard enough you could watch my heart beat from just behind the glass. 

I did so for a while, mesmerized by the pulsing of my own heart, before looking back up at my face. At the stupid little boy that let himself get swept up in a war between monsters. I had someone who wanted to kill me now, and the resources to do it. Fuck, I actually did die. And instead of just just heading home when I had the chance, I got myself embedded so deeply I couldn’t get out.

The realization hit all at once. Since I woke up that morning, it had just been go-go-go from realizing I had powers, to jumping in with Basilisk’s crew, to a second showdown with Shiftra, to now. I never got a chance to think about what I was doing. I sunk down to the floor, curling in on myself. God, what did I do? The silence in my apartment was deafening. 

That’s how Katherine’s messages found me. Having not slept, moping about half dressed in my apartment. I never even got up from the floor. She wanted me to come over that day, but I told her in no uncertain terms that it wasn’t happening. I needed time to myself. I nearly said no to going out today too, but I really couldn’t keep myself hidden forever. So, I agreed to meet up at noon. 

“Jason?” I nearly jump out of my skin, pulled out of my thoughts. It’s David, walking up to the apartment himself. I must have beaten him here. “Thank god you’re alright! Why are you just… Standing there?” 

He makes it the rest of the way to me, and I just kind of sheepishly grab at my arm. “I dunno. Nervous, I guess! I feel like I got everyone mad at me.”

He shakes his head, putting his hands on his hips. “Dude, we’ve fought way worse than that before. I’m just glad you’re ok! Other than your hands, right? Here, show me them.”

He reaches for my begloved hands and I pull them out of his reach behind me. “No!” He stumbles from the whiff, and ends up hovering over me quite close. He squints down at me, and I blush in embarrassment. “They... They’re still sore. And they won’t heal right if I take the gloves off!”

He takes a moment to respond, looking me over. He’s practically pinning me against the front wall of the apartment. “Is that why you didn’t shave?”

I reach up and cover my face, even more embarrassed than before. Frankly, I just forgot to. After that mirror session I didn’t want to look at myself any more than I had to, and I certainly didn’t want anyone seeing me (or how I had changed) either. I didn’t even think about it on the way out. I just pulled my hair back into a low ponytail, threw on a long sleeved shirt, and I zapped one of my thin zip hoodies to be as big and bulky of a pullover as I could realistically get away with for the fall. I had also taken Meathead’s advice and made some leather gloves to hide my hands away in, with juuust enough extra bulk on the ends that my new nails won’t get in the way. 

I can feel the stubble slightly though the leather, and I blush hard, mortified. I bite my lip and pull my hands down, trying to put on a brave face, have some fun with it. I’m here to stop moping, after all. “Hey! what’s to say I’m not just trying out something new?” I strike a pose like a fashion model for him. “It looks good, right?”

He squirms, and I stop myself from giggling at it. “Oh, yeah! Uh, it’s very… Casual! It-it’s a good look for you!”

Now I laugh, and I shake my head. “No, it doesn’t. You’re right, my hands were just too sore.” 

He seems to relax, being left off the hook. Laughs a little with me. “Ok yeah, no. In that case, yeah it’s wrong for you. A total slob day for you, right?”

“Hey! You don’t have to be mean about it!” I mean, I agree I look like shit, but c’mon! That’s just rude. I reach up and rest my hand on his cheek playfully. “I didn’t say anything when you decided to shave off that glorious beard of yours last year, right!” 

He turns away, blushing pretty intensely at that. “No, c’mon. You know that made me look terrible. I can’t believe you let me wear my face like that for years, dude!” 

I laugh. “No, man. It totally gave you that rugged woodsy charm. Fit in really nice with that twang in your voice.” He looked a little sour at that, so I gave him a break. “It’s not like you look bad now though. Getting to see more of your face is definitely a plus. I’m still shocked you don’t have a line of ladies beating down your door!” 

He blushes again, looking away. “C’mon man. There’s, you know, I have… Kathrine!”

“Oh shit, really? The two of you?” Wow. I kinda feel betrayed! “Why didn’t I know about that? I mean, good for you two and all but…” 

He blanches and points behind me. Before I can do anything, though, a pair of arms drape around my neck, resting on my chest. “Don’t stop on my account! The show was just getting good.”

I smile, relieved. “Oh! When did you get here, Kitty? I didn’t even hear the door open!” 

She leans over, kissing me on the temple. “I live here,” she said. “When exactly did you two get here?” 

I blush looking down. David, for his part, blushes too. “I mean,” he says, “we just ran into each other and got caught up catching up.” 

She laughs, sharp and short. “Really? Couldn’t you two have done that inside, where it’s warm? I mean, that’s the whole point of… Oh, come on.” Suddenly, she slinks up off of me, snatching my beeper off my waistband and waving it in front of my face. “Not you too. Isn’t Davey’s bad enough? What is with you boys and old shit?” 

I snatch it back, blushing hard. “Give that back,” I whine. “You’re just jealous you don’t have one of your own, right?” She rolls her eyes and moves into her apartment silently. I take my cue and turn to follow, before I notice that David isn’t following. I look over to him, slightly slack-jawed, just looking at me. “You coming, dude?”

He seems to snap out of it, blinking a few times. “Right, right! I’m on my way over!” He rushes past me, making his way into the living room. Man, what was that all about?

 

---

 

After the initial awkwardness, we did eventually have a great time together. It was really nice just to be able to see everyone again after everything that went down. I mean, sure, it was only a couple days, most of which I was asleep for. But it felt like months to me. My entire world got turned upside down; it was nice to have some normalcy. 

I suggested we watch a game together, but David said it would be better to just talk. That was probably a good idea; since I never was able to pawn those items I picked up, I couldn’t exactly weather another round of betting. And Kitty was an excellent host, going out of her way to make lunch for everyone along with cocktails. Not that she would ever want to hear me say that to her face.

I look up, sipping on my third amaretto-ginger beer and watching the two of them laughing and chatting with each other. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or what, but they really do seem like they’d make a good couple. Honestly, I hope it happens. 

A beeping goes off in the room, cutting Kitty off mid sentence. I reach for my belt, but of course it’s David getting paged. “Come on,” she sighs. “It’s been a year of this shit. Are we going to have a single get together where you don’t get dragged away by your job? Can’t you just tell them your cat exploded or something?”

He laughs, making his way to the door. “‘Fraid not. Got people relying on me, I have’ta go in.” He waves to the both of us. I blow a kiss back, and he rushes out of the apartment pretty fast after that.

She huffs. “It’s not like he’s a fireman or something. He fixes computers for a living, it’s not exactly a time critical job.” 

I sit down next to her on the couch and lean over onto her shoulder. “He makes good money, and he cares about his job. There’s much worse things to be addicted to.” 

She bumps my head with hers. “Like gambling?”

I grumble softly. “I’m not addicted, it’s just fun. Don’t be mean just because your boyfriend left.” 

“My boyfriend!” She stands up and looks down at me, hands on her hips. Rude! I was just getting comfortable! Hey, my drink! “I’m taking this, you’ve clearly had enough.”

“Give that back!” I make reachy hands for it, and she drinks it down in one gulp. Bitch! “C’mon Kitty, I don’t care! You two are obviously spending a lot of time together. I support it!” 

She just stares at me for a long time, face flat. “Jason. You know I’m a lesbian, right?”

“Oh. I didn’t.” Shit. Maybe I wasn’t as good at reading people as I thought I was. “Congratulations?”

She shakes her head, then pats me on mine before starting to clean up. “I swear. Thicker than a brick. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna come between you. Jealousy isn’t a good look on you, kiddo.” 

I shiver. “God, don’t call me kiddo again.” I got more than enough of that over the weekend, thank you. “What could I be jealous over?” 

She laughs, clinking glasses into the sink. “Come off it. The two of you have been making goo goo eyes at each other since I met you.” What!

“You think that… That David and I?” I shoot up out of the seat, suddenly feeling much more sober. “Hold on, now you’re the one jumping to conclusions! If you haven’t noticed we’re both guys. Right?” 

She crosses her arms, staring nearly through me, smirk on her face. “Then explain what was going on outside today, if it wasn’t two idiots desperately into each other.” 

I think back to a few hours ago. David standing over me, pressing me into the wall. His face dangerously close to mine… No! Stop it brain! Fuck, I’m never drinking again. 

“Come on! We’re like brothers, we’re so close! It would be absurd! And, I don’t even like… I mean, I’ve never…” 

As I flounder, her smirk grows wider and wider on her face. Eventually, she interrupts my caterwauling. “Oh, my god. Do you actually not realize how into him you are?”

I don’t think I could burn any brighter red than I did right now. “I’m, I’ve never been into anyone. I don’t think I work like that…”

She walks over, rubbing my back softly. “I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, but baby. You are so obviously head over heels for him.” 

I… I… I sink back down into the couch. It couldn’t be like that, right? I think back to this morning. To last week. To my entire life. Him always by my side. Always being protective. Him towering over me…

My face is beat red, my hands feel sticky inside my gloves. I wonder if I took off my shirt you’d be able to see my heart going a mile a minute. “I-I… I gotta, uh, I’m gonn-gonna get on my way.” 

She laughs, waving me out on my way. “Aww! You don’t always have to leave just because your boyfriend did!” 

I nearly stumble out the door, tripping over myself. Gah! I get out of there before I can die of embarrassment, or lose control and greeble her entire apartment under her. I don’t know which would be worse.

And, damn her, the entire way home I couldn’t get the images out of my head. His stupid smiling face hovering over me. Him pressing me against the wall. His caring, sweet tone when he thought I was hurt. Him defending me against that asshole, screaming at me for no reason. His chiseled, bare chest, breaking in and saving me fro–

I stop dead in the middle of the sidewalk. “Oh, fuck me.” I was right, it was absurd to think I had a crush on a guy.

I had a crush on two.