“Hey, before we start today, do y’all think I can make an announcement?” Sean asked out of nowhere, almost seconds after they started the stream for real. Amy raised an eyebrow at him, hoping this was something they’d talked about beforehand. 

“Of course, Sean. What’s up?” Maisie spoke up, thankfully making up for Amy’s complete silence.

“Well, that’s the thing,” he began, sounding incredibly nervous. Amy would’ve stepped up to take his hand, to offer him support, but she was as taken aback by this out of nowhere announcement as everyone else was. What was so important that he could only talk about this right after the stream began? 

“I’d, uh… I’m sorry, this is hard. I’d like to be…” Once again, Sean stopped what he was saying, and nervously scratched the back of his head. “Can everyone please call me Ellie? And use she and her pronouns?”

Oh. Oh, oh, oh. “Oh my gosh, this makes so much sense!” Jace practically jumped up, a look of absolute joy on his face. Before anyone could do anything else, he ran up to Ellie and nearly crushed the girl in a hug. “I’m so happy for you, Ellie!”

Amy pounced on the two of them (more specifically her girlfriend, which was weird in an absolutely not bad way to say.) the moment she came back to her senses. She wasn’t letting Ellie escape without all of the hugs in the world, it was the least she deserved. “I’m proud of you, babe.”

Ellie, for her part, could only nervously scratch her chin and smile. Amy wanted so badly to kiss that girl’s cute face, but that could wait. Amy was patient.

More importantly, though, was that Jace looked almost equally nervous. Amy had to wonder, did he also have an announcement? If the looks he and Maisie kept sharing were any indicator, that was a definite yes. Amy wasn’t about to argue or complain, regardless, but these things would’ve been nice to have scheduled in advance.

Then again, with Dan being a last minute no show, it wasn’t like Amy couldn’t use some more time to rebalance the things she’d been planning.

“Alright, I wanted to do this after the session, but Ellie kind of, well, inspired me. My name’s Penny, I’m also a girl. Uh, yeah.” 

Amy nearly choked.

 

*****

 

“Really? Levari? What kind of a childish name is that? You cannot believe anyone would take you seriously with a name like that.” Lady Meridia scoffed at her daughter, looking more disappointed than pleased to see her. 

Levari was nearly shaking at her mother’s words. She was still recovering from the fact that, of everywhere they could have run, they had to have accidentally made their way into her territory. This was the last thing Levari ever could have wanted or asked for. She would’ve been happy to never see or hear from her mother again. “Well it’s my name,” she barely managed, desperately trying to keep herself from looking weak. 

But Meridia only scoffed in response. “Oh, of course. And look, it even matches your little childish fantasies. Still seeking out a way to be a ‘real girl’, Ewan? I do not know how you broke through the fog protecting this land from people like you, but I will congratulate you for managing what no other man could.”

“What no other man could? Miss, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but Levari’s as  much a lady as the rest of us.” Miara spoke up, trying desperately to show her friend some measure of support.

“Oh, certainly, and I’m a dragon. You can’t just declare a falsehood and act as though it will be treated as truth.”

“Lady, magic itself recognizes her as a woman. Just because you don’t like her doesn’t mean you can’t ignore that. Just give us our friend back, and we’ll get out of your hair.” Katryn broke in, her hand hovering over her axe as she awaited a response.

Amy: Actually, can we take five? I need a minute.

Ellie: I do, too. This is heavy.

*****

“So Levari is trans? How long have you been holding onto this, Ellie?” Maisie asked, as she stuffed a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. 

“Oh, you know, since, um, the very start of the campaign.” Ellie whispered, trying to keep her blushing face from being noticed by everyone else. 

Amy couldn’t blame her. Ellie had initially made Levari when it was a group of five ‘boys’, and now she was one of four girls. It had to be embarrassing to be one of the last ones to realise her transness while simultaneously playing a character who was literally trans. Amy wasn’t planning on teasing her girlfriend (girlfriend!) about it anytime soon, but looking back it was adorable that neither of them had realised anything back during character creation, so long ago.

Speaking of, Amy was quick to take Ellie’s hand in hers as soon as the session was over. She wanted to make absolutely certain that, no matter what, Ellie knew Amy was there for her. Preferably as girlfriends, but if Ellie wanted or needed something else then Amy would be content with that.

But as far as she could tell, Ellie was more than happy with their existing relationship. She was just as affectionate as always, with no shortage of smooches or hand holding. They still needed to talk about this, of course, but Amy was glad to put off more serious stuff until later. 

“Jeez, from the very beginning? I’m impressed you didn’t figure yourself out sooner, Ellie. Most cis boys don’t play trans girls, for any reason.” Penny joked, as she and Maisie cuddled up together on the basement couch. 

“Actually, that’s the thing…” Ellie winced, as she pulled her hand away from Amy’s. Immediately, Amy grew concerned. Was something the matter?

Ellie seemed to pause for a moment, looking nearly as nervous as she did when the stream began. “The stream is off, right? Like, nobody can hear us?” 

“Yep. Just the server chat going, lots of congratulations or people claiming they ‘called it’. Wait, were we that obvious?” Penny seemed to pout at that, and looked to her girlfriend(? Amy really needed to ask for confirmation, there) for some sort of answer.

“I didn’t think so, but between being in the closet and then everything else I’ve been a bit… preoccupied. Not that I mind,” Maisie explained, right before lying her head in Penny’s lap. 

“Anyway,” Ellie butted in, once again gathering everyone’s attention. “I’m not, well, actually trans.”

“What?”

“Huh?”

“Um.”

Amy couldn’t help but be utterly flabbergasted by Ellie's (Sean’s?) confession. That didn’t make any sense. What kind of boy would ask to be referred to as a girl? And have a girl’s name picked out! Was this a joke? Was she (he?) backing down out of fear of their relationship ending?

If that was the case, Amy had to fix this. “Ellie, it’s okay to be a girl. And if you’re worried about us, I promise you that I still want to be with you. I care about you for you, no matter who you are.” 

“No, I’m sorry, Amy, that’s not it at all!” Ellie held her hands up, frantically looking between the three of them. “I just… I’m sorry, I’m realising now that this might actually have been super hurtful, but I was trying to make myself better understand trans stuff, by having everyone call me the wrong name and pronouns.”

What? That didn’t make any sense!

“What? That doesn’t make any sense!” Maisie took the words right out of Amy’s mouth. “So you want to be referred to with she and her and stuff, and you already named yourself Ellie, but it was all a test?”

But, once again, Amy’s partner (she had no idea what name to use) just shook their head. “I just wanted to understand dysphoria. It sounds horrible, so I wanted some understanding so I could better empathise. The problem is, well, it didn’t actually work.” they smiled for just a split second, before their expression once again became that of someone racked with anxiety.

“How do you mean?” Penny asked, as she raised an eyebrow. Amy hoped she wasn’t too angry with Ellie/Sean for this. To come out after being inspired by a friend’s coming out, only for that friend to back down, must’ve been infuriating. Thankfully, the girl seemed to be holding back her anger, for the moment.

“Well, it seems being misgendered doesn’t give me dysphoria.” They explained, after a long moment of deliberation. “If anything, being the character of Ellie made playing Levari even easier.”

As soon as Ellie finished speaking, Maisie and Amy matched eyes. Both of them knew what was happening, and just thinking about it had already exhausted Amy. She wanted to hit her head against her table. How could she fall for someone so utterly dense? Was she this bad, before she realised who she was?

“Well I think you did a great job, Ellie.” Penny said, before freezing up. “Uh, shoot, sorry. Sean. It is Sean, right?”

“About that, actually…” Oh no. “I think, if it’s okay, I wouldn’t mind seeing if I do end up getting dysphoria from this at some point. I’d really like to know how to better get into Levari’s headspace, especially if she’s going to keep having her mom misgendering her.”

“Not if Miara doesn’t kill her the next time we meet,” Maisie muttered, to Penny’s affirmative nod. “But yeah, I have no problem with it. Penny? Ames?”

“I don’t know, I’m still new to this. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying new stuff out.” Penny said, before all eyes turned to Amy, who was still lamenting the fact that she fell in love with a girl denser than a black hole.

Oh, shit, Amy loved her. Well, of course she did, but the realisation that her brain had put it into words had Amy frozen with shock. It wasn’t until Maisie shook her out of her stupor that Amy was even aware of the passage of time. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Ellie, I’ve got no problem with it. I promise.”

Amy easily managed a smile, just before her brain lost all capacity to do anything but repeat ‘I love her’.

> mynameisneo: Gifraff

> mynameisneo: Gif

> mynameisneo: Raffy

> mynameisneo: Giffy

> mynameisneo: can I

> mynameisneo: plz

> mynameisneo: just one

> mynameisneo: I promise, never again after that

> mynameisneo: like, you can ban me

> mynameisneo: just let me have this

> PrinceDamien: I think he’s sirius about this one

> psychedelicTrans: you know what

> psychedelicTrans: I say let ‘em have it

> Gifraff: Just so we are

> Gifraff: *crystal* 

> Gifraff: clear.

> BrookeingAndEntering: omg

> mynameisneo: we swears

> Gifraff: You may say it.

> mynameisneo: on the precious

> Gifraff: *once*

> BiggerLuuke: should’ve demanded payment, Gifraff

> Gifraff: If he messes up, it’s a permaban. That’s payment enough >:)

> mynameisneo: y’all

> mynameisneo: i been waiting so long

> BrookeingAndEntering: It’s been like a week

> mynameisneo: that’s like six months in dog time

> BiggerLuuke: Are you… a dog?

> mynameisneo: woof, motherfucker

> psychedelicTrans: OwO

> mynameisneo: anyway

> mynameisneo: ah-hem

> mynameisneo: I’d like to request silence on the floor

> BiggerLuuke: you’re just encouraging him, you know

> mynameisneo: Gifraff said I could xp

> mynameisneo: Anyway. 

> mynameisneo: Three

> mynameisneo: Two

> mynameisneo: oen

> mynameisneo: one

> mynameisneo: I TOLD YOU SO

> mynameisneo dances

> mynameisneo: I FREAKING TOLD YOU SOOOOO

> Gifraff: that was twice

> mynameisneo: fuck

> BiggerLuuke: oh nooooo

> psychedelicTrans: lmao

> mynameisneo: i’m too young

> Gifraff: I did warn you.

> mynameisneo: T_T

> mynameisneo: but you know what

> mynameisneo: worth

> mynameisneo has been kicked for 1 minute (reason: made you look ;))

> BiggerLuuke: You’re a gem, Gifraff.

> Gifraff: I do my best.