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Chapter 20: Rejection

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“Criticism leads to condemnation, while hostility leads to fighting. Ridicule causes shyness, while shame results in guilt. Tolerance teaches patience, while encouragement promotes confidence. Praise turns to appreciation, while fairness causes justice. Security and safety leads to faith, as approval does to acceptance. All this is the same as simply saying, friendship leads to love.”

 

 

Professor Pontharos, Spiral of Sociology

Year 967

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--POV: Mark Von Augsburg—

--Place: Silent Forest / Time:07:36—

“Well, I’ll be going to kill some animals. We have to show our ability to deal with the wild, after all.” Laurence, the creepy guy I met in the palace hallway, just said something ridiculous, and walked away to do what he just stated.

The twist is that this shady motherfucker is also Clarissa’s butler. I have never seen spatial magic perfected to such a degree, then when I saw the butler take out tents and camping equipment from his space storage, as he calls it.

Even though I feel that he has zero to little mana, he is able to use magic to such a degree. Moreover, I don’t know how he found a dead bear in the middle of a crater, but I am not going to ask.

He couldn’t have done it, no human could create such a crater after all.

“Take care” Clarissa has been acting weird since this morning, I just can’t seem to put my finger on it. After making sure Laurence has left she turns to me, with her face looking downwards, I can’t see her eyes or most of her face, as they are covered by her bangs. “Finally” She whispers…to herself? She is also shaking a bit, is she shy?

W-wait a second, is this a love confession? Did she wait until we are alone, and now she is too shy to speak? That’s ok, I am here for you, being the gentleman that I am, I have to take the lead.

“It’s alright Clarissa, I know how it feels” I use just her name without any formality, for the first time. I can’t believe the amount of progress I’m going to make with her today….

*BAM*

A sharp pain pierces the back of my head as my vision goes blurry for a second, only to realize….

My feet aren’t touching the ground.

Focusing my eyes on my surroundings, I find myself held to a tree. Clarissa’s hand is holding my throat as she lifts me against the tree. What is going on…..

“kuh….C…Clarissa?”I grumble despite her strong grip on my throat, looking at her face more closely, I find her blood-red eyes shining ominously, while her lips hold a disgusted frown.

“You have no idea how this feels, you will never understand” She mutters in a low voice “You have no idea of how long I’ve been waiting for that, I was that close….that close!” While she holds my throat with her right hand, her left hand shows a small distance between her index finger and her thumb, about 2 inches.

What is she talking about?

“But then you came along, and you fucked everything up” Her voice descends down a pitch, making her voice even lower. Fuck! She is seething with anger. “Now he knows! He knows!”

“Clar..ris..sa…wait a minute…” I need to stop this and calm her down now “Please ….just …calm” Everytime I speak a word, unspeakable pain burns my throat “…down”

“Calm down?.....Calm down?!!!” Fuck, her face turns red and a twisted smile forms on it “He knows of the feelings I have for him, he knows it, he knows it all!” She keeps repeating the same things I don’t understand like a broken record.

“And it’s all your fault!”

“Aghhhh!” She slams me into the tree again, and again.

“If you just minded your own business, if you just took the hint when I gave it to you! I would be in his arms right now, I wouldn’t be talking to a piece of shit like you!” Her mouth spews vulgatries as she continues to slam me into the tree like a rag doll.

I can barely keep my eyes open, and the pain is getting unbearable, fuck….

I can’t take it any longer….

“Pl…ea..se s..to..p”

Suprisingly, the slams suddenly stops, daring to open my eyes I find her looking downwards again.

“Did you really think you were anything? Because you aren’t, you are trash. You have little to no talent in either magic or the sword, your mana pool is average, your grades are below average. You have no worth”

She looks back up to me, in my eyes. Her eyes are blank, emotionless, her smile gone, her face colder than ice. “Your personality is worse than shit, your looks aren’t good either. You have no accomplishments other than sitting on your sorry ass. The only thing you actually have going for you is your position as heir to Duke Augsburg, which you were born with.”

She drops me from the tree, and I slump into a sitting position with the tree supporting my back.

I look up to find her lips turning into the biggest grin I’ve ever seen, revealing her perfect sets of teeth. I would’ve called it a gorgeous expression if it wasn’t for the intent behind it.

“How about we fix that?” What does that mean? W-what is she going to do to me?

Right as I was contemplating how bad my fate is, I feel an unbelievable amount of pain in my crotch area. Looking down I find her sword impaling it completely, to the point tears were falling off my face from the agony.

My fading consciousness jerks awake as the pain encompases my whole being.

Just as I was about to insult that crazy bitch for doing something so insane, she leans her head closer to mine, before gripping my jaw with the hand that wasn’t holding the sword, and turning my head towards her.

“Now, you are no longer a man. You are a shell of what you used to be, worthless space” She stares into my eyes with her emotionless ones “Imagine what you’re father would say if he knew you can’t even continue his bloodline as the eldest son. You would become the incarnation of uselessness.”

She starts giggling maniacally “The reason you are infertile? Because a female underclassman cut off your dick and balls. What would your father think of you? Who do you think he will choose? Will he side with his precious oldest son? Or would he toss you away as garbage? Would he put the Augsburg family’s future in the hands of a useless eunuch?”

“No he wouldn’t” Her giggling abruptly stops “As healing magic won’t be able to solve your problem, he would throw you away without a second thought. You who has lost even your last failsafe, continuing the bloodline, at this rate you are less than baggage, to be frank, as even baggage has a use.”

Holy shit……this psyochopath is crazy….fucking crazy…..why is she doing this? WHY?!

“But don’t worry though” The hand that was gripping my jaw let go, and instead, she uses it to hold my left cheek while her thumb wipes away the tear streaks from my face “If you can hide the fact you no longer have a dick until your father dies, and you become the new head…then…”

“Your gloomy future may not be so gloomy after all” She says with a smile that is expressing sympathy…..

And with that, I black out.

--POV: Laurence—

--Place: Silent Forest / Time:08:02—

After leaving Clarissa to have some time to myself. I find a huge boulder, 20 feet wide. As I make myself cozy on top of it, my mind starts wondering towards last night….

“Oh….Laurence….I want to….to….ki-” It doesn’t take much brain to realize what she was going to say, had Mark not disturbed us, I do not know what would have happened.

So the question is, do I care about her?

“Yes, yes I do” If you are wondering who I’m talking to, you’d be glad to hear I’m talking to myself.

Do I love her?

“……yes” I do, don’t I?

I can’t believe myself….after all I did, after all I’ve been through. You’re telling me I have the heart to care about someone other than myself? You’re telling me I have the emotional capacity to love?

“haah…” I sigh, cursing my own emotions. But at the same time, I don’t want to let them go. I don’t want to be as emotionless as a corpse, I want to be alive.

And it seems, Clarissa is the cause of this.

The past me would be laughing at my stupidity, calling me irrational, weak-willed, a pushover to the smallest of my feelings.

“Fuck….better get the hunting over and done with” I voice my thoughts as I jump off the boulder, and start looking for prey.

--Place: Silent Forest / Time:08:35—

With space storage full of corpses, I make my way back to the tent. Only to find a knocked out, and bloody Mark, along with a Clarissa who is sitting on a long, staring at the lake.

“What do we have here?” Clarissa doesn’t react to my sudden appearance, despite not seeing me coming to the tent, she must have felt it with the mana perception.

“I’m…..I’m sorry Laurence” Clarissa gently weeps as she sits and keeps staring at the lake.

“For what?” Did she do something bad?

“I lost control of my anger, of my desires, of my feelings and I let it all out on Mark.” Oh, the brutal scene of the knocked out man with a crotch that is covered in blood?

“I’m not going to judge you” I judge her for just this? “I have no right to, after all I have done bad things in the past, that would make what you did seem friendly”

I walk towards her while she has her back towards me and hug for from behind, and put my chin on her right shoulder. “Don’t feel guilty for doing such child’s play” I whisper into her ear as she runs her right hand through my hair.

“Thank you Laurence, as always, you are there for me”

“So…what do you want to do with him?” Does she want to leave Mark in that state? I don’t think so.

“We should just heal that vile pig enough so the bleeding stops” Still angry, huh?

It seems she was apologizing to me because she lost control of herself, not because she just castrated him, and she wants to leave him without any genitals? Interesting suggestion.

While I could restore his body back to normal by reversing time on his body, I’m not known for being that generous.

At least he will stay away from Clarissa after this….

My Clarissa….