I got into some drinking competitions with a few of the gods… of which I've won all of them. The real party got started when Ares pulled up.

"Yo, Dennis. Your mother ever told you how she met Thanatos?" Ares questioned, chuckling to himself.

"No. She does not talk about him at all." I shook my head. "What about it, mate?"

"Ah… my mother told me. She can see these things. It was the funniest thing I've heard in a long time." Ares laughed. "The God of Death… really does have a tendency to be chained to beds."

"Chained?" I raised an eyebrow. Honestly, it wasn't too surprising that my mom was a dominatrix. But doing it to a god as a mortal…

"Wow. You're telling me she…"

"Yes." Ares chuckled, nodding. "Hera said she gave Thanatos… a rough time. I can see where your fiery and fearless spirit comes from, truly. Your mother is a terrifying woman."

"... You're telling me that." I smiled. "I've lived with her my entire life."

"I see you've been competing with some lesser gods." Ares remarked, looking behind me. He grinned a little. "But you're the Son of Death, beating these slouches is to be expected. You wouldn't reject a real challenge, would you?"

"Do you know who you're talking to?" I chuckled like it was the dumbest question ever. "I'm always ready for a fight. Besides, you were chatting a lot of shit earlier… don't think I forgot."

"Let me add some incentive. If you can beat me in an arm wrestle, I'll get you any drink you want in Olympus." Ares offered, cracking his knuckles. "Also… you can become an Ares honorary cabin member in Camp Half-Blood. The first of your kind!"

Olympian Vodka… hmm… I need that in my life.

"I don't care about the cabin stuff but you're definitely losing… because I'm getting that divine vodka!" I grinned. 

"Heh… let's see if you're all talk or not."

A fancy table appeared between us and Ares slammed his right arm onto it. Did he think that would intimidate me?

BANG.

I did the same, opening my palm and grasping his. 

"You go first." Ares grinned.

"Pussy?" I remarked. "Alright, get my vodka ready."

I put everything into it right away, forcing his arm to tilt and move down. Right as I was pushing for the win, his grip tightened and he brought our hands back to the start. 

"Is that it?" Ares raised an eyebrow. "I know Atlas is weak but he couldn't be that weak, could he? Kronos' famed lieutenant beaten by a boy who can't even make me break a sweat… hah. Well, I am the mighty God of War."

"Couldn't make you break a sweat?" I questioned, looking into his eyes. "You're sweating right now."

"Sweating?" Ares chuckled. "Where—"

"Everywhere."

I tried again, with all my strength. This time… I forced him to the very brink. His eyes widened in surprise before he pushed me right back. Then he went ahead and tried to win.

He was beginning to sweat, alright.

But… no matter how hard he tried, no matter how close he got… he did not win.

I held on at the edge, feeling my strength grow rapidly. The thought of divine vodka kept me fighting. I wasn't about to let it slip through my hands.

"Ublyudok, mat' tvoyu, a nu, idi syuda, govno sobach'e, a? Sduru reshil ko mne lezt', ty? Zasranec vonyuchij, mat' tvoyu, a? Nu, idi syuda, poprobuj menya trahnut' — ya tebya sam trahnu, ublyudok, onanist chyortov, bud' ty proklyat!"

Ares' mouth opened as I began to regain ground.

"Idi, idiot, trahat' tebya i vsyu tvoyu sem'yu! Govno sobach'e, zhlob vonyuchij, der'mo, suka, padla! Idi syuda, merzavec, negodyaj, gad! Idi syuda, ty, govno, zhopa!"

"This surge of strength…"

I pushed him all the way back to the start. Our arms were popping with muscles. Ares' forehead was sweating like a waterfall. And I…

I was grinning. 

"From my experience, I think Atlas was stronger than you." I remarked. "By a good bit, too. Maybe twice or three times as strong. I'm pretty sure he called you a petty war god."

"..." Ares' eyes lit up with fire. "I was going easy on you, kid. Now you've gone away and gotten all cocky."

"Didn't you lose to Percy?" I added. "...When he was, what, twelve? Mate, are you the God of War or the God of Losing to Kids?"

"...Who the hell told you about that?"

"Percy wasn't lying!?" I chuckled. "That's jokes, man! Do yourself a favour and hang up the gloves. Don't worry, I'll be the next God of War for you."

"..."

I started to push him back… further and further…

His entire body was tense and pulsating. He was turning red. He really was trying his best. 

"What's wrong? You're red as a tomato." I chuckled as I kept pushing him down. "You can dish out taunts but can't take them? Gonna go cry to mommy?"

BANG.

"Damn it…" Ares muttered, breathing heavily. His entire body was shining with sweat. "You… might just be the strongest demi-god I have faced. And I've fought Hercules many times."

"Who's Hercules?" I asked. Men like me don't study Greek myths. I barely pass English history as it is… 

"The demi-god with the most fame and strength, Zeus' favourite child. How could you not know him?"

"Is he here?" I asked.

"...You wish to fight him?" Ares chuckled, shaking his head. "You and I are not finished just yet. You won a mere arm wrestling competition which means very little."

"Ah, so you are a sore loser." I smiled. "Give me my vodka and I'll beat you again in whatever way makes you happy."

"Don't stretch your luck, kid. But… you did beat me and I will honour my words."

Ares clicked his fingers and a 1.5 litre bottle of [Olympian Vodka] appeared in his hand. He passed it on to me and looked around. His expression turned to a look of slight irritation.

"Ah, you're a minor, aren't you? It's my mother… this will be fun."

For a moment, Ares looked like some nineteen-year-old friend who didn't want to get caught doing delinquent activities by his mom. I popped open the bottle and drank its contents.

You thought vodka was good?

You've never tried Olympian Vodka.

For once, I didn't feel like downing the whole bottle. One mouthful was enough for the happiness of a lifetime. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Even the smell was divine.

"Ares…" Hera looked down on Ares like a disapproving mother. "Why do you look like you went to war and why are you allowing a minor to drink in Olympus?"

"Ah, you see… we made a bet and he won." Ares chuckled, pointing at me. "Look at this 'boy', he looks like he's twenty-one at least. Do we really have to follow the law of the United States up here? You're telling me he can fight and best Atlas, but can't drink a little?"

"It is not a hard task to wait a few years." Hera raised an eyebrow. "... Did you lose to another demi-god?"

"...Well." Ares chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. "This one beat up Atlas who is easily one of the strongest titans."

"He beat him with the assistance of many others, namely Artemis." Hera sighed. "You never fail to disappoint me. Some God of War you are… I'd wager that the son of Hades, Rock-Ass, would beat you too. Easily."

"No, he would not." Ares denied.

"Don't put some backhand compliment on Rocky's name, lady. Besides, I don't need you to be my mother. I've been drinking for many years."

"No wonder… you're special." Hera remarked, shaking her head. "Your quartet truly is troublesome. Even so, I won't stop your celebration. You are not a complete child to not know the consequences of your actions."

Hera walked past us.

"Anyway, how do I get more of these?" I looked at Ares, lifting the bottle up. "I need a year's supply. Minimum."

"If you beat me in a proper contest and accept your honorary Ares Cabin membership, I will consider it."

"Deal!"

A battle for the ages began, lasting hours

….

"DENNIS' SPECIAL!"

"ARES' SHIELD BASH!"

"DENNIS' SLAM!"

"ARES' THROW!"

"DENNIS SMASH!"

"ARES' TOSS!"

"DENNIS' COCKSHOT!"

"ARGH… ARES' ROAR!!!"

Ares really was a sore loser. Everytime he got the better of me, he was having the time of his life while I took it like a man. Then, when I started kicking his ass, he started coping and making a bunch of excuses.

Though… we had a really great time. I got piss drunk on Olympian Vodka, wrestled him all over Olympus, practised with a bunch of weapons (even though I preferred my fists) and duelled more times than I could count.

By the end, we were both like corpses on the ground. 

"The wounds you inflict… are not so easily healed." Ares remarked, chuckling as he spat out his golden blood. "Each blow from you seems to carry a touch of Death. You truly… are a monster."

"The carnage that you will bring will surely be a great spectacle to watch, nephew."

"... Nephew?" I raised an eyebrow. "Bitch, I ain't your nephew."

"You are now, motherfucker." Ares smiled, turning to me. "Suck it up. I've officially adopted you. Besides, Death may as well be a brother of War."

"Yeah, right." I chuckled. "Just send me my vodka when I get home."

I guess the god who provides me with Olympian Vodka can call me nephew.

"One more thing… every warrior needs a worthy weapon." Ares got off the ground, dusting himself off. "Although, you show very little interest in any type of weapon other than your hands."

"Why would I need a weapon?" I questioned, looking up at him. "I am the weapon."

"Really? There's not a single weapon you'd use given the choice?"

"Though… I did like those black gloves Rocky gave me for that one fight. I didn't hurt my hand as much and could hit harder."

"Hm… gloves, you say? A gauntlet or…"

"Boxing gloves." I interrupted, getting up on my feet.

"Boxing gloves…" Ares chuckled. "What are you, the Russian Mike Tyson?"

"I might as well be."

"Even if you are skilled with your hands, boxing gloves would prevent you from using your hands for anything other than punching." Ares countered, stroking his chin. "Yes… you punch hard but it would limit you greatly. I have a better idea, nephew."

He clicked his fingers and a set of black gauntlets appeared before me, floating in the air. They looked like a leopard's claws. I put them on. At first they were too large but the gauntlets then adjusted, condensing perfectly around my hand. Then my hand itself, which stuck out of the claws, were wrapped in celestial bronze gloves.

Ares made a punching bag appear.

"Go on."

BANG. BANG. BANG.

I tested out a few punches and felt really good. The claws served as a bit of bonus power and protection while my fists could still strike. I could also grab and grapple like normal. They felt very light.

"I love them." I clenched and relaxed my hands. "Fucking amazing."

"Fucking amazing, indeed. It was the God of War that made them." Ares smiled. "The best part, they can condense into either wrist bands or gloves. Whichever is more comfortable for you."

"Wrist bands are more convenient."

The gauntlets transformed into two black wristbands. The left one had the words 'Son of Death' written on it in glowing gold with golden reversed torches around it. The other had some strange letters which I did not recognise (Ares' #1 Nephew).

I wanted them to turn back into gauntlets… and they did, at my wish.

I wanted them to be wristbands… they condensed.

"Awesome. The moment I see an enemy, I can get straight to fighting." I grinned. "No monster will catch me lacking again."

Except the flying ones… fuck those harpy bitches.

"Bring me glory, nephew, and I will award you with more magic items." Ares smiled, turning away. "Also, when the opportunity arises, I'd like to see you fight Percy Jackson."

"Why?" I raised an eyebrow.

"To prove that you are the strongest, of course."

"Is it because you lost to him and you want to see someone beat him up?"

"..." Ares chuckled. "No. But you want to be known as the top dog in Camp Half-blood, don't you? You'll have to prove it by going through him."

"Hmm… I'm sure we'll have a friendly spar a few times, yeah. And I don't plan to lose when we do."

"I know you won't." Ares turned back one more time, giving me an Olympian Vodka bottle. "One more. The rest you'll find in your new cabin."

I took it and he smiled, vanishing away somewhere else.

Wouldn't it be awesome to be a god… you can just dip whenever, watch everyone from afar like it's a TV show and just create shit out of thin air.

~

I thought I had a very high tolerance for alcohol… but that last Olympian Vodka did a number on me. It was either way stronger than the rest or I had just reached my limit.

Everything felt like a blur… I remember seeing James moonwalking and shit. All the women got heart eyes for him. He was having fun, for sure. He loves the attention. 

Then… I went through a lot of corridors and bumped into a few people. Don't know where I was going, I just really liked to walk. Without much of a sense of direction, I stumbled upon this really nice bedroom. 

It smelled nice. The bed looked comfy. I was too tired to care.

So I just threw myself onto it with my arms and legs stretched out. Pretty sure I made a star symbol.

The bed felt comfier than it looked. It was like falling into the air. 

Ah… this is life.

I closed my eyes and slept.

…

Something was pushing me away… But, I didn't feel like going. And it wasn't that strong of a push.

Then I felt a heavy thump to the head.

"Boy… do you have a death wish?" 

"Ow…" I slowly opened my eyes to a stunningly beautiful goddess. She had this serious, proud, expression on her face. Her grey eyes stared me down. "Oh shit… where am I?"

I recognised her soon after.

She was one of the twelve major gods in Olympus… and her spear was raised. Guess she smacked me with the lower end.

"A fine question." She retracted her spear. "You are in my bedchamber. Now, I shall ask you a question. How do you wish to die?"

"... I want to die in a battle for the ages." I replied, managing a smile. Maybe I could salvage the situation. "I want to die like a warrior, with all my strength depleted and an ocean of corpses behind me. I want to be remembered as the best fighter to ever live."

"..." Her expression relaxed slightly. "I see. You are ready to die anytime, so long as it is in battle?"

"Yeah… I'm not scared of dying." I nodded. "But I'd like to live my life to the fullest if I can."

"You did not come here intentionally, did you?" She glared at me, like she was looking into my soul. Her grey eyes were both beautiful and a bit eerie at the same time. 

"Nah… I just wanted to find a nice place to sleep. I didn't know this was your bed." I sat up, shaking my head. "I got waaaay too drunk this time. Sorry."

"Sorry? I'm afraid that apology isn't sufficient." She countered, smacking me with the butt of her spear right in the face.

I landed right back on the bed with a bloody nose.

She hits hard.

"Hold on… what are you trying to do?" I raised an eyebrow. "You want me to stay here? I mean, you're peng and definitely the type of woman I'd go for but like… it's a bit sudden for the first meeting."

"Preposterous that you would suggest such a thing." She shook her head. "Get off my bed. You will face your judgement outside."

She seemed authoritative like my mom for a moment… except, she was much more posh. My mom would've dragged my ass out.

The door opened and out came Ares, chuckling as he looked at us.

"Well, well, well… what do we have here?" Ares grinned, clapping his hands. "Athena, that's a fine choice of a young man to give your maidenhood to. My number one Nephew, hahahaha."

"You set this up, didn't you?" Athena turned to him with a furious expression. "This is something you'd find amusing."

"If you get physical once in a while, no one would noti-"

"You will not stain my honour, fool." 

Athena attempted to stab right into him but Ares dashed back. Then she threw her spear, all while he didn't get his footing. 

She ended up grazing the side of his chest as Ares was a tad but too slow. Everything looked calculated. It was like she knew exactly what he would do and attacked accordingly.

"It's just a prank." Ares raised his hands, chuckling. He pointed behind her. "See, the cameras are right there."

"You set up cameras in my bedchamber?" Athena glanced back. 

"I made you look."

Ares threw back the spear and Athena simply stepped to the side. It was heading right for me. I ducked and rolled right off the bed.

"How childish…" Athena created another spear. "I think you've forgotten that everytime we face each other, I win. Perhaps… you enjoy the taste of defeat more than victory."

"Come on, I've beaten you more than a handful of times. Don't bring up your propaganda next to my number one Nephew." 

"This isn't that serious." I remarked, getting onto my feet. "I just got a bit drunk and my sense of adventure led me here."

"Yes. It was I, Ares, who gave him far too many drinks against Hera's wishes. As his guardian, I take full responsibility." Ares nodded. "Are you not the Goddess of Wisdom and Reason, Athena? This young man clearly did not intend to trespass onto your domain… much less your bedchamber. It's not like he saw your nakedness. Or did he?"

"...He did not." Athena remarked, withdrawing her spear.

"You are also the patron of heroic endeavours." Ares added, grinning slightly as he glanced at me. "Who is more heroic of this generation's heroes than Dennis the Menace himself, the young man who bravely challenged Atlas to a one-on-one battle and won. No less, he did so without any formal hero training."

I've never seen Ares act so reasonable. I think Athena realised it, too.

"That battle was not won of his merit alone… however, I will admit that taking his life over such a minor matter would be a great waste." Athena glanced back at me. "Instead, I will grant him a challenge at a later date to test his worthiness properly."

"Wow." Ares smirked. "You're already testing him for marriage? You work fast."

"Do not twist my words. This challenge will not be easy nor simple. There will be great danger. However, if you succeed in this challenge… I will forgive this transgression and act as if it never happened."

"Aww, you have a soft spot for Dennis. That's adorable-." Ares remarked.

"No, I do not. He is very much like you… an idiot with strength who plays at war." Athena remarked. "No mind for strategy, no signs of wisdom or intelligence. A waste of ability. It's no wonder you find him so interesting."

She described me like I was a goldfish or something…

I can be smart… sometimes. 

"So, will this challenge have strong monsters to fight?" I asked. "If so, I can't wait."

"Perhaps… but it will not be a test of raw strength. You will have to use your mind, boy. If there is something there in that year of yours… you might just walk out alive."

It sounds like there'll be puzzles… I hate puzzles. 

But… a challenge was a challenge and I didn't intend to run away from it. Whatever test she cooks up, I'm going to pass it with straight A's.

"So, when is this challenge going to start?"

"Whenever I wish it to, which may or may not be when you least expect it. That is all." Athena crossed her arms. "Now, you may leave before I reconsider my decision."

"Alright then." I dusted myself off and walked out. Ares grinned as we exchanged eye-contact. "Thanks for the save."

Athena shut the door. Ares wrapped his arm around me and teleported us away.

"Don't sweat it, nephew. I am your patron God, after all… how could I let you get killed over such a petty reason? Besides, I'd willingly fight Athena any day." Ares smiled, stroking his chin. "Though, it would've been even more entertaining if you challenged her to a wrestling competition and then… heh."

"With your strength, you might've been able to make her submit if you know what I mean."

"..." I chuckled. "I want to know something."

"Ask away."

"Why do you act like she's a virgin when she is Annabeth's mom?"

"She uses some strange methods. Mind sex, I call it." Ares shrugged his shoulders. "She was born in a weird way. By using this mind sex technique, she is still considered a virgin goddess while popping out demi-gods on the regular using the DNA of the men that intrigue her."

"Mind sex… that sounds very one-sided." I remarked. "She's having her cake and eating it."

"Yes, indeed. The best of both worlds." Ares nodded. "Then she says that Aphrodite sleeps around when she practically does the same. Anyway… you and your friend should be going to Camp Half-Blood soon."

"My friend?"

I wasn't a big guy on details but he very clearly said friend. And, as far as I was concerned, I had entered Olympus with more than a single friend. Three minimum. 

"Yes, just one." Ares shrugged his shoulders. "Sadly, the other two are going somewhere else. To another camp. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm sure you four will meet again."

There's another camp? 

"Why'd we get separated? Are you man scared of us four teaming up?"

"Nah." Ares chuckled. "They were orders from the top. We all recognised that two of you were not born from Greek Gods."

"Was it really because we pissed off Zeus?" 

"... You know, that is a possibility." Ares stroked his chin. "You four didn't necessarily have to split into different camps. Alas, nothing can be done about it momentarily. You can always meet up outside of camp."

Vacation's ending soon… yeah, we'll have to go back to school. At least, I will. My mom is not buying me getting a job as a monster slayer.

"So… which one is coming with me?"

"Hades' kid, chubby bunny."

"Oh… alright." I grinned slightly. "Me and Rocky for a bit is cool. He's mad rich so getting back home isn't a problem. James has wings so in the worst-case scenario, he'll fly across the world with Harry."

"...I wouldn't be so keen on flying in any capacity, especially after the stunts you four pulled. My father is God of the Sky, after all."

"We'll kidnap Thalia and be on our way." I grinned slightly. "He wouldn't kill her, would he?"

"Hahaha. That would be clever. Though, I doubt she would come along so easily."

"We'll have Rocky seduce her and all that. It'll be a piece of cake." 

"Oh… oh. That kind of pairing would anger him to no end. Zeus and Hades both, for that matter." Ares remarked, shaking his head. "Aphrodite would love a story like that. Our modern Romeo and Juliet."

"Jesus and Juliet." I corrected.

"Even better."

Whoosh.

"You got your new nephew all packed and ready?" Apollo glanced at me and then Ares. "The rest have been waiting just for you."

"Yeah, he's ready to roll." Ares pat my shoulder. "And tear shit up."

"Let's go." I nodded, grinning slightly.

A camp full of strong demi-gods…

I can't wait.