Chapter 9:
Determination to Grow

 

I briefly had a dream. One of a foggy room. My body felt heavy, and there was only white as far as the eye could see. I could hear a faint voice. “Who is she? Why is she here? What’s with my vision, too?” 

That’s all I could remember until I was pulled back into sleep.

---

I was now seven years old. 

The snow was falling lightly all over the village, covering the homes in a layer of ivory white. My little siblings, Sirius and Norn, were growing up at a swift rate. As a result of that, I had grown quite irritated. 

They cried when they were hungry. They cried when they needed to use the restroom. They cried when they were upset at something. Sometimes they even cried just because they were bored. Originally, I was wondering if one of them was a reincarnated person. But after a few months of that, I figured that I was just worried about nothing. 

My parents were equally as irritated. They couldn’t so much as get a single day’s worth of rest with these children around. Lilia, however, was in high spirits. I didn’t know how she pulled it off. 

“This reminds me of when I took care of the princess back in Asura. This is what childrearing is supposed to be. Taking care of Mistress Lumina was far too simple,” she would say, masterfully taking care of them.

In my case, I was already used to crying babies. That was thanks to my younger brother from my last life; case in point, I was not fond of them. I never found out why my sisters would always squeal and call babies adorable, and then turn around and promptly make me change their diapers. Just thinking about it made me upset.

One day, I decided to go outside to catch a break. I made a habit of helping Lilia around with the babies, but after Norn threw up all over the floor, I decided I needed some fresh air. After I flopped onto the grass, I noticed someone else outside with me. Namely, Paul. He was practicing sword swings and striking the air violently. On that topic, I realized that the man was quite the deadbeat father. He was neglectful or anything, but he wasn’t all that cut out to be a dad. 

Let’s stop bashing on the poor guy—Let me sing his praises a little. Paul was advanced-tier in all schools of swordsmanship. To put that into perspective, your average individual spent ten whole years practicing in one school of swordsmanship to even be able to climb to Advanced. However, Paul did that three completely different times, and he was only twenty-six. He was dedicated at the very least–and a total badass. 

Paul suddenly stopped practicing sword swings, and said, “Hey, Lumi. About school… actually, scratch that. You don’t need that.” 

Paul broke off and decided to go back to practicing in silence. But he had started saying something, so I wanted to hear the rest of it.

“Was I supposed to have gone to school by now?” I questioned, still lying on the ground.

Paul paused, and said, “Well, in Roa, the city nearest to here, there’s a small academy where kids your age learn arithmetic, history, reading and writing, that stuff. Frankly, I don’t know how you learned all of that up until now, but the point stands that you’ll probably just be wasting your time over there.” 

To prevent suspicions about my seemingly abrupt bout of mathematical literacy, I told Zenith that Roxas had taught me arithmetic. Zenith, apparently seeing this as an opportunity, made me help her out with accounting at the clinic. While I admit it was a flimsy cover-up, it was the best that I had.

Where was I? Right, school. I did say I wasn’t a fan of the concept of school before, but I had a recent change of heart. There weren't a lot of people who could manage to bully me successfully. Besides, I just wanted to talk to some new people. 

“But father, if I’m being honest, I kind of want to go to school. Meet new people. Get out there, you know?” I spoke.

Surely he’d understand. I only had surface-level friendships with the girls around the village aside from Sylphie. The vast majority of the boys avoided me, which I presume is because I scared off that Somal kid a few times. Even despite that, I was still pretty popular. But in the end, most of the conversations I had with the other girls just ended up with me showing off my magic. 

While I appreciate the attention, I end up thinking that they’re just using me for their entertainment rather than trying to befriend me.

He sighed, and muttered, “A seven-year-old shouldn’t be ‘getting out there.’”

“It’s not a nice place, trust me. All the stuff you needed to learn, you’ve learned already. Also, there’s a ton of crappy noble brats around there, and they’d probably bully you for being better than them.” 

He sounded like he was speaking from his own experience. But, I wasn’t him. 

“Maybe I could teach them a lesson. Throw a few spells at them?” I offered.

Paul shook his head. “You’re just a girl, so they’ll think less of you, and target you more. They’re gonna think you’re just a weakling with a big head, and you’ll suffer for it.” 

“Hmm…” I hummed in consideration.

If half of the students were gonna be stuck-up brats, I’d rather not go. Maybe I’d heed Paul’s advice for once.

 

Zenith

My three babies were all together. Lumi was staring intently into the cribs of her two siblings. They were fussing, neither of them seeming content. Lumi’s expression stayed the same. She had an expressionless face and seemed to be studying them. It reminded me of when she was a baby herself, and the way she seemed to be observing everything silently. She did some trick with her fingers, and the fussing stopped. 

It was honestly astonishing how good Lumi was at taking care of the children. She was on par with Lilia, and even Lilia had years of experience under her belt. She was amazing in so many ways. What had I done to deserve her, seriously?

At the sight of her smile, I couldn’t help but let out a “Hehe.” 

I loved that smile of hers. She would regularly engage in conversations with us, and always had that smile on her face. I’ve seen so many fake smiles that I could see one when I spotted one. Lumi’s smile, however, was always genuine. She would tell us how much she loved us every night before she went to plan lessons for Sylphie. To me, she was the most reliable daughter I could ask for. I loved her with everything I had.

I could overhear her complaining about her lack of magical progress in her room, and that reminded me of something. Since it had been a year since I promised to teach her Advanced-tier healing magic, I decided to finally fulfill that promise. We’d need Paul for this to work, so I brought him along while the babies were sleeping. Sylphiette and Lilia were taking care of the children back at home just in case. 

Standing before an Asuran Buffalo, its towering form reaching as high as my shoulders, “Shh…” said an archer we had conscripted for this. He had paralysis-inducing tipped arrows, which would work for this. Fwoosh! The arrow hit the buffalo, and it groaned in pain. It flopped to the ground, unable to move. 

I passed a piece of paper to Lumi, which held the incantation for an Advanced-tier Healing spell. Paul stepped forward, and I covered Lumi’s eyes. Paul cut straight through the buffalo’s leg, inciting a cry of pain from the creature. Lumi looked at me and nodded. She grimaced at the sight and proceeded to chant.

“Angel of miracles, bestow thy holy breath unto the pulsing heart before thee. O heavens blessed with sunlight, servants who despise crimson, swoop down into the ocean of light, the pure white of thy wings spread wide. Drive away the blood thou seest before thee! Shine Healing!” 

A brilliant white light shone all over the buffalo as its missing leg was reattached.

She had done it. She managed to cast it and brought the buffalo back to perfect health. It, however, was still in shock from the pain. Lumi pumped her fist and shut her eyes. 

What is she doing? I thought. She looked to be concentrating, or praying. She kept this up for about five or so minutes, and just before Paul went over to her, she exclaimed. 

“Hah!” She opened her eyes, and an identical blinding light radiated from her hand. I was in shock, and so was everyone there. She had cast an Advanced-tier Healing spell without incantations. She had a bright smile on her face. “Alright!” No one said a word for a while.

Paul broke the silence. “Lumi, you’re seriously one in a million.” 

She chuckled at that. “Alright, Mother. Now that we’ve finished with that, please teach me the Advanced Detoxification spell!”

Lumina 

Winter had settled in, prompting me to shift Sylphie's tutoring sessions indoors. No funny business, just a few friendly hugs, mind you. 

We were getting into the nitty-gritty of advanced arithmetic and science. I tried to recall some tidbits from my past life to guide Sylphie through the whole learning process. Today's session delved into the intricacies of the rain cycle.

"So, what happens to the rain that falls into the ground?" she asked eagerly.

"It becomes groundwater, either nourishing the plants around or filtering into a nearby river or lake," I explained. Her expression shifted to one of puzzlement.

I’d said it before, but Sylphie was a great student. She tried her hardest to understand what I was trying to teach, but sometimes she couldn’t keep up. 

“You know how if you pour a cup of water on some dirt, it soaks the ground and flows away? It’s like that, but on a way bigger scale.” She seemed to mull it over for a moment before firing another question my way.

"Could you make it rain, Lumi?" she inquired. I mean, I did know a few spells. I had practiced with Roxas, but I hadn’t used any of them in a long time.

"Yes, I could," I affirmed. Sylphie seemed satisfied by that answer and went back to working on a variety of questions I had jotted down for her to solve.

I plopped on my bed and sighed. You know, I figured sparring with Sylphie would solve my magical stagnation. And in honesty, it did make a dent. Now, I'm pretty confident that I could win a tussle against an Intermediate-tier magician with my eyes closed. But here's the thing—despite my outward appearance of growth, I felt like there was so much more in store for me.

With a second chance at life, I was going to try to improve as much as I could. I had been training every day without stopping for years now, but I hadn’t made too much progress since Roxas had left. It got me thinking, maybe, just maybe, a proper teacher could help me improve a lot more than I can on my own.

"Hmm. School, maybe?" Roxas talked about these strict magician schools with their strict rules and delegations. Kind of reminded me of that private school where I attended junior high.

"Are you thinking about going to school, Lumi?" Sylphie's question caught me off guard. Seriously, need to keep those thoughts to myself. Her face showed some visible anxiety.

Now that I looked at her, I noticed she had begun to grow her hair out. She only had a short bob, so nothing crazy. Although, I wanted to eventually match ponytails.

“Nah, I was just thinking about it since my father mentioned it recently,” I said, waving her off.

“But Lumi, you’ve been pretty strange lately.” Huh? I had? Was she talking about the cuddling sessions or…?

"Like you look like you’re sad about something." Oh, right. I had been worrying about this more than I’d care to admit, so maybe it showed on my face while I was tutoring Sylphie.

"Well, I’ve kind of hit a dead end with my magic," I said, sullenly. Sylphie sat down on the bed with me. 

"But you’re already amazing enough, Lumi," she said, petting my head. 

"For my age, sure. In a few years, I’ll only be a bit better than average. I want to be a lot better than that,” I reasoned

She was sort of right. There weren’t a ton of seven-year-old Saint-tier mages in the world. But when I tried comparing myself to them, it felt like I was cheating. All of this know-how came from my previous world, but they had to work their butt off to get to a similar skill level. I was just a lousy bum in comparison. Even with my memories, I now hit a wall where I couldn’t just rely on them to get over it. I needed to break through it.

"Still, I feel like it’s about time I took my next step forward, you know?" Watching Sylphie improve day by day, with seemingly no end in sight, was putting a dent in my already weak self-confidence. She’d end up the girl protecting me if I kept this up.

Sylphie’s frown deepened, and she pressed me further. "Are you going to go somewhere?"

"I might. I could go train as an adventurer and then join a labyrinth raiding party. Or I could enroll in some magic school. I don’t really—"

"No!" Sylphie cried out and wrapped me in a tight, warm embrace. What’s up with her? Oh, but this is nice. Don’t let go.

“No…No…No!” My impure thoughts were cut off as I realized she was trembling. “Don’t… leave me alone, Lumi!” Hey? Seriously, would she be this distraught over me leaving?

“Lumi… I love you! Please stay with me… Hic… I’ll do anything!” My impure thoughts came racing back. Snap out of it, stupid. She’s too young to be into that sort of thing. She probably meant it like familial love. 

I thought about it, and it made sense why she’d be so upset over me leaving. If I left all of a sudden, Sylphie would be left alone, without any friends her age. Not to mention her tutoring lessons would be cut off. I could see why she held so much affection towards me. It was sweet. 

“I won’t go anywhere, Sylphie.” My cheeks flushed, and I whispered in her ear, “I love you too, Phi.” 

---

Sylphie was getting stronger. Of course, since my tutoring offer was completely out of the blue, I hadn’t thought about getting her a wand. What better time than the present? Most teenage girls in my old world exchanged presents regularly, I think. So this was going to be my gift to her.

The problem was, I didn’t know how to even get a wand to begin with. After wandering about the small shopping area in the center of Buena Village, I spotted a traveling merchant. She was dressed quite exotically and wore bright colors. I hoped that she would know something. 

"Hey, I wanted to buy a wand for my friend. Would you know where I could buy one?" I asked.

She peered down at me. "Ah, wands. Little girl, I’d recommend buying the ingredients and then getting a craftsman to create it for you, as completed wands are quite pricey. Even a low-end wand would cost you four silver coins," she said, holding up four fingers. 

Four silver coins? That’s more or less my entire life savings!

I laughed nervously and said, "Well, do you sell any wand materials?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Only the finest Treant branches and magic stones. Would you be interested in buying today?"

“Yes,” I said, nodding my head.

"I see. What’s your price range?" she asked me tentatively.

 I looked at my money pouch and responded, "Anything under two silver should be fine, please."

She went back into her shop and brought out a box. "This costs only about 14 Large copper. You can check it out if you’d like."

I inspected the box and opened it up. It had some branches that looked like they came from a fantasy RPG, and a magic stone, similar in size to the one on my wand, but a brilliant green. It was perfect for Sylphie.

"I’ll take this!" She smiled, and I handed over the money.

“If you need a craftsman, walk down this path and take a right turn. The first shop on the left is a friend of mine. Try him out, he’s exceptionally skilled at wand-making.” I thanked the woman and left to find the craftsman. 

---

When I eventually found the place and walked in, I saw a strangely familiar young man carving a stick, engraving small patterns all over it. I didn’t want to break his concentration, so I waited until he put it down to speak up. 

“Uhm, excuse me?” He perked up and then noticed me. I knew who he was now. He was my very first patient back at my mother’s clinic who I had met two years prior. 

“Oh, it’s Lumi! What brings you to my store?” He knew my name since I had healed him a couple of times now. It made sense now, obviously, you’d hurt yourself every so often if you were a craftsman. 

“Uhm, I wanted to order a wand for my friend,” I said. “Ah. Did you bring the ingredients with ya, kid?” The man said. “Yes, I did. I also have a sketch for the design.” I had worked on the sketch for a few days until I had gotten it perfectly. 

“Perfect. I’m working on an order right now, so you’ll have to wait a few hours. That ‘kay with you, kid?” He told me. 

“That’s fine. I’ll be back here around sundown.” I bowed and walked out of the store. I went on a walk and waited until sundown. I played target practice with Stone Cannons since I had nothing to do. I wandered about the village and greeted a few of my acquaintances, attracting a small group who were watching me screw around with shooting rocks at cups. In hindsight, it wasn’t a great idea to cast such dangerous spells right near a few kids, but it was fine since no one was hurt.

After three hours, the wand was finished. It was one thing designing it, but it was another to see it in real life. It was dark in color, had metal stripes, and a dull sheen covering it. At the top was a small frame which was made of gray metal, and enclosing the frame was a material that looked like black chainmail, and held the shimmering green magic stone. It was phenomenally made. 

“Thank you so much, sir. Here’s your payment.” I began to walk out. “Come again!” The man called out to me. I looked down at the new wand and smiled. When I got home, I set the wand in the box and sealed it shut. I hoped that Sylphie would like this gift. 

---

“And that’s all for today, Phi.” I had started calling her that for a while now since I liked how it felt on my tongue. 

She smiled, and said, “Thanks for today, Big sis.”

Just as she said that, though, Paul barged into the room. 

“Sorry to interrupt your tutoring, but you received a letter,” he explained, holding out the letter and offering it to me.

I took it from his hand and said, “It’s fine. We just finished anyway.”

Sylphie nodded and strode over to my room’s door. Paul followed suit and walked out.

“See you tomorrow, Lumi,” Sylphie said, smiling cheerfully at me. I waved her goodbye and peered down at the letter that Paul had handed me.

Now, who could have sent me a letter? I could count the number of people I’ve formed a relationship with on two hands. It was from Roxas, unexpectedly.

Dear Lumina,

It’s been two years since we last saw each other, as much as I find it hard to believe. I’ve finally settled down a little, so I wanted to write you a letter and update you on my situation. 

A  few months or so after I departed from Buena Village, I began to make a name for myself while exploring labyrinths and was scouted to tutor a certain prince. And so, at the moment, I’m staying in the Royal Capital of the Shirone Kingdom.

While not as talented as you, the prince holds magic in high regard. He doesn’t seem to be so interested in me, however. It’s been a little tough, but I’ve managed to pull through enough for the prince to pay attention to his lessons. His attitude is on the pompous side and is a lot more energetic than you. He’s just a little… well, unwilling. He would constantly say that he ‘specifically requested a female tutor.’ I shudder thinking about what would have happened to me if I were a woman. 

Hmm. Maybe I shouldn’t be writing this down. If someone were to open the letter, they might toss me in the dungeon for a while for slandering the royal family. Well, if that ever happens I’ll figure something out. I don’t necessarily mean these words in a bad way. 

In other news, the royal court is planning to appoint me the title of ‘court magician’ for the duration of my stay. I haven’t stopped trying to improve, so that works in my favor.

Ah, right. That reminds me–I’ve managed to cast several King-tier Wind spells, thanks to the Royal Library having some incantations written down. It looks like effort goes a long way since it’s been quite a while since I first became a Saint-tier magician. So now, I’m King-tier Wind Mage Roxas Migurdia. 

I really wouldn’t be surprised if you were casting Emperor-tier spells all over the place by now. I know you, kid. Or maybe you've branched out and become Saint-tier in another school of magic? Going off of your thirst for knowledge, you might be dabbling in advancing your Healing or Summoning magic instead. I’m sure you’d leave your mark on the world no matter what you choose to do. You’ve got a long life ahead of you, Lumi. 

Like I mentioned before… If you ever hit a wall in your magical studies, try to get yourself admitted into the Ranoa University of Magic. You’ll need to pass an entrance exam and pay tuition, but that first one won’t be an issue for you. 

 

Well, until we meet again–

Roxas

 

P.S. I accidentally left behind a pair of my favorite shorts. I’ll come back to get them someday, so please keep them safe. Also, don’t feel obligated to respond, as by the time your letter reaches the palace, I may be gone. 

 

Well, geez. Talk about a wake-up call. 

It took me a moment to find Shirone on the map. It was a small country on the southeast of the Central Continent. We currently lived in the middle-west of the continent, so it wasn’t impossibly far. However, a straight route to it was blocked by a mountain range infested with dragons. No one dared try to move through those mountains, so you had to take the long way around and approach the country from the south.

Also, the University of Magic was closer than Shirone but was blocked by a similar mountain range. Thus, you’d have to loop around the northwest to get around it.

“Hmm.” I decided to write a brief reply, without going into too much detail. He held me in particularly high regard, so I didn’t want to break his ideals. 

Anyways… the Ranoa University of Magic, huh?

Roxas had been praising it all this time. It wasn’t exactly close to home, however, and I couldn’t just abandon Sylphie here. What to do?

For the moment, I just finished my letter and paused. I added a brief note at the bottom of the page. “P.S. Your shorts are in good hands. Don’t worry about them.” 

---

The next day, I decided to breach the topic of what I had come up with. It was dinnertime, and both of my parents were there. 

“May I make a selfish request?” I asked. 

Paul responded in an odd tone. “Of course, anything for you, Honey. For the most part.” This was my first time formally asking for something, so I had expected a bigger reaction. 

“The thing is, I’ve recently hit a dead end in my magical studies. And for that reason, I was hoping to attend the Ranoa University of Magic...” I began. 

“However, when I mentioned this to Sylphie, she broke down in tears and begged me not to leave her.” 

Paul snorted, and said, “I hope the twins can get along that well in the future.”

 I told my father, “The ideal solution would be for the two of us to go together, but Sylphie’s family isn’t as well-off as ours. I wanted to ask if you’d consider paying for both of us to attend.”

“Hmm.” He thought about it for a while and spoke up. “Sorry kiddo, but the answer is no.” I had expected this sort of reaction, but I wanted to give it a shot anyway. What I wasn’t expecting was Paul to begin listing off sound reasoning and arguments as to why exactly I couldn’t go.

“I’ve got a few reasons. One, even if you two are friends, the point stands that you’re still her tutor. I imagine you haven’t gotten close to the end of what you can teach her, so you should focus on that. Two, money is an issue. We could potentially pay for your tuition, but asking to pay for Sylphie’s as well is too much. Magic schools are expensive.” 

I raised my hand. “I have a bit of savings from my salary as Sylphie’s tutor, so maybe I could help with those?” I said. 

“Depends on how much you’ve got,” Paul offered.

“I’ve got four silver coins on hand right now,” I stated.

“I appreciate the effort, but you’re going to need more than ten times that amount just for the price of one tuition. Besides, I have another reason. You’re just a seven-year-old girl right now. You’re smart, but there’s a lot you don’t know about the world out there. You lack real-world experience.” 

Those last words cut deeper than Paul was probably intending. But… he had a point.

“I understand, Dad. But, can I ask you how old I have to be for you to change your mind?” I said. 

“Hmm. Let's see.. Fifteen? No, twelve. That was how old I was when I left home.” That seemed reasonable. I wasn’t in any rush, so waiting that long would probably be beneficial in the long term. 

“Alright then, I’ll stay here for now. Thank you, though.” I said and accepted the terms my father had given me. I could hold off until then, I figured. I suppose I’d just have to find a way to pass the time between then and now.

For now, though, there was much that I had to do. That was what I needed to focus on.