Was it a transmigration? Reincarnation?

 

I didn’t know… couldn’t know.

 

The moment I opened my eyes, I made the instant realisation that I was a god and as such my mind was changed, and rearranged, integrating all my inborn abilities into various mental triggers.

 

My soul shifted to suit my new status in the next fraction of a second and knowledge entered my mind.

 

I had 5 seconds to make people notice me, to remember me. 1 second had already passed.

 

Next, my body changed nearly instantaneously. Shapeshifting into a little girl, I started sprinting to a random young-looking woman in my vicinity. Perhaps I should have started sprinting first, in my originally larger form, but I was too out of sorts to have realised that.

 

Desperation had my mind racing and I began screaming at the top of my lungs.

 

“ MOOOOMMMMYYYYY!!!! DON’T LEAVE ME HERE!!” I had no idea who my soon-to-be follower was but with the threat of oblivion shoving me forward to convert someone, I could hardly care less. The stares I got as I ran prickled on my skin, the oblivious woman wasn’t even looking at me!!!

 

With bloodshot eyes, I latched onto the woman I had called my mother and hugged her leg as tightly as I could. Trying my best to look as cute and pitiful as possible, I stared up into the shocked woman’s eyes with my head slightly tilted down. I could not see her eyes, only my own reflection in her glasses.

 

The sight of my own daughter, tears streaming down her face, wearing her favourite dress with twin pigtails tied by her mother… my wife. This girl was not my daughter…

 

It was me…

 

My reflection…

 

“ Ah… Ahhhh…. Haaaahhhhh….” Whatever lies I had conjured died in my mouth. Pressured by looming death, I kept trying to speak but the words simply did not form as fat tears kept sliding down my face.

 

I felt feverish as my mind struggled to stop itself from unravelling. 

 

The fact that I still existed meant that the initial threat of oblivion was gone.

 

My next death… postponed to a later date. 

 

The chaos in my mind, juggling between my first death, the death that was soon to come and the body dysmorphia that came with using a body that I knew was not mine. All lead to only one outcome.

 

“ Hearreahhghhhhh…” A weird gurgle or sound came out as my mind came to a halt from confusion, the pain and the discomfort.

 

“ Erm… I am not…” The woman seemingly tried to deny me. 

 

However, the pressuring stares of judgment from the surrounding people must have caused her to cave into my crude manipulations and she started hugging me. Still confused as to what to do. She picked me up, carrying me in her arms and began rubbing my back.

 

As my elevation increased a slight sense of rightness seeped into my bones. I latched on to this rightness. Adding to it was the comfort of the woman’s warmth. In the end, I couldn’t stop myself from bawling into the woman's neck. It was only then, that I registered that the woman was wearing extremely thick clothes. 

 

The kind that was meant for winter.

 

Through the tears, I noticed that we had begun moving. Staring backwards, I could see as road signs, billboards and the like passed. My attempt to soak in my surroundings did not help the nausea that was gradually worsening. 

 

Though my mind was wandering, I could tell the woman was moving quickly while I continued to make her jacket damp with tears in silence.

 

 I could feel each and every jolt as she tried an awkward half jog, taking me… somewhere. However, all sensations suddenly became muted in the face of a single strong one.

 

What little power I had, had run dry and caused my soul to strain.

 

Pain speared through my little body like electricity and I let out a gasp of surprise.

 

“ Hugh!” My unsteady breathing seized and ichor bled out of my eyes and nose as my brain cramped, staining the woman’s purple sweater with gold splatters. My eyes shut down as the white roads, neon signs and bright streetlights began to go out of focus. My consciousness wavered and darkness swallowed me up.

 

…

 

I woke up to an unfamiliar ceiling.

 

My body was… wrong. The feedback from it was… strange. Everything was so much… bigger. The colours… too vibrant for some reason. Staring at the ceiling light hurt…

 

I quickly turned to look away from the light and curled into a ball on my side, closing my eyes again. A spot lingered even as I kept my eyes closed, distracting me enough for me to feel annoyed.

 

Then, I felt a sensation as if I was being touched and shivered.

 

Opening my eyes, I find myself staring at the woman I had troubled. Judging by the cabinets, sink and the plate rack behind her, I inferred that I was in a kitchen or a kitchenette of sorts.

 

“ So, what are you?” The woman asked with such confidence that I felt slightly intimidated.

 

Instinctively, I was repulsed by this feeling of fear and kept my mouth firmly shut in rebellion. Suddenly, I was ultra-aware of my… self.

 

Quickly, I adjusted my… Sasha’s body to an upright position on the mattress I had awoken on and kept her back straight.

 

The woman leaned against her kitchen counter and politely waited for me to get comfortable. I tried really hard to do so, however, all the sensations from Sasha’s body were weird. They messed with my balance and motor skills. The upright position that I had gotten comfortable sitting in, in my body, hurt in Sasha’s.

 

I was acutely aware of my hurting facial muscles as I schooled my expression.

 

Taking in a deep breath that felt too shallow, I spoke in Sasha’s voice.

 

“ I? Am a god. I… offer you a contract.” As the word “contract” left my mouth, the mental trigger for my divine contracts went off seemingly sending out a mental tentacle, attempting to latch onto… something.

 

The woman seemed to search for something in my face and sighed. She slipped her fingers under her glasses and rubbed her eyes.

 

Insecurity flooded my veins with liquid eyes and the world started to tremble as I choked out my following string of words.

 

“ Do… Do you not believe me?” Shame flooded my brain next as I felt warm fluids slide down Sasha’s face.

 

“ Ah… no I believe you… erm…” My heart soared as I was fully convinced that she believed me and I smiled with Sasha’s body.

 

It hurt to do so.

 

My smile seemed to cheer up the woman who looked very tired.

 

“ So? Pitch your contract.” She said encouragingly.

 

I closed Sasha’s eyes and thought of what to say but was suddenly interrupted.

 

“ Ah, my name is Anna Chery. Ahem… just in case you didn’t know.” She seemed to prompt me to say something in return. 

 

“ Oh, thanks!” Sasha’s voice said and I closed my eyes again.

 

“ Hmm…” I heard the woman make a noise that was a cross between several emotions. My heart fell a little as I realised one of them was a disappointment. 

 

I had thanked her for a name though?! Why was Anna disappointed in me??

 

Opening my eyes, I immediately spot the slight frown on the woman’s face and feel tears forming at the edges of Sasha’s eyes again. I should really stop crying…

 

“ Err… In exchange for…” My eyes burned with slight intensity as I unintentionally paused.

 

“ For caring and protecting Sasha, I will give you something that can… No! Will help you out at work!” As I said my part, I immediately realised how stupid my wording was. 

 

My eyes widened and I panicked.

 

“ Ah! I mean an item! Or a thing or something that will help you at work like a keyboard or a-” My rambling was cut off as the woman snuck up to me and started rubbing the small on my back.

 

“ It’s fine, little god. We can write up a proper contract later.” I nodded as a light amount of heat reached my face.

 

“ So, your name is Sasha?” Boiling rage erupted from my core instantly, my sight clouded over with a red hue and I opened my mouth to scream profanities at… my… saviour…

 

I bit down and restrained the unproductive anger as best as I could. The red scene quickly receded and that nausea started showing signs of returning as the world seemed to spin.

 

“ I- am- Malco- My… name is Sha- Mel… Mash?” I tasted the names and settled for Mash, though the words came out of Sasha’s mouth with a hint of uncertainty.

 

Anna nodded as she continued rubbing my back gently, really helping me dissipate the wrath that I had shackled in my core.

 

“ I will call you Mash, okay?” She smiled as I quickly nodded.

 

“ Now, let me get a piece of paper. Then, we can get to writing that contract of yours.” My heart raced as the back rubbing stopped and I stared at the woman’s back as she left to get paper.

 

“ Mash…” I muttered under my breath. I was Mash now. A mash of my mind and Sasha’s body. 

 

The disorientating nausea slowly started to become worse as I committed my new name to memory. I didn’t want to let my old name slip. After all, it did not suit Sasha’s body. I had to… I need to do right by my lost daughter.

 

But what about my wife?

 

I kept my eyes glued on Anna. Would she replace her? 

 

At the passing thought, I dry gagged as the nausea finally reached its peak.

 

I could no longer see Anna’s slim frame, nor could I see my surroundings.

 

Icy cold panic flooded my veins and I released the tiny bit of power I had collected from Anna’s belief in me. A pair of glasses made of ice appeared on my face allowing me to see through the world of dizziness. Instantly a migraine struck me, causing a hot fluid to drip from my nasal cavity.

 

I stared down at my golden blood in a daze.

 

The world through the lenses was clear. However, outside its frame was a terrifying, chaotic swirl of colours.

 

“ Eh- Heh- heh-” Sasha’s voice came out disjointed as if she… no I was processing something slowly.

 

“ Ah! What happened, Mash? You are bleeding again! Gods aren’t supposed to bleed!” She yelled frantically as she put down the sheet of A4 paper she had found. She scrambled over and flailed frantically and very much uselessly as her eyes danced around for something that could help.

 

Seemingly having made a connection, Anna moved to open her freezer while I continued to sit as still as I could with the swirl of colours in my peripherals.

 

…

 

I snapped back to attention as something cold touched my forehead.

 

Anna had grabbed me an ice pack while I had lost my focus.

 

I smiled with appreciation as I lifted my arm to hold the ice pack to my head. Rather, I attempted to make such movements.

 

My hand missed the ice pack by a long shot, while my fingers wouldn’t even close. They just sort of twitched in a very uncomfortable manner.

 

Furrowing my brows in concentration, I carefully lifted my arm and brought my small hand to Anna’s, much larger hand, on my forehead. Anna seemed to understand my intentions and slowly shifted her hand off the ice pack to let me take over.

 

Once, again I smiled in gratitude and faced Anna.

 

Once more, I stared into the woman’s partially reflective glass and saw a young girl struggling.

 

It was no longer just Sasha in the reflection but also me… Mash. Behind my elegant unmelting ice glasses, were my eyes, swirling whirlpools of colour tainted the orbs. 

 

Though I still felt immense guilt at copying Sasha’s body, I felt a slight reassurance that, in the least, I was not stealing her body. 

 

I am Mash, the little God.