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Back to the Secondary Omniverse? Or stay in the current Omniverse?
Which Omniverse?
-
The Old One, make this all a dream! Votes: 108 28.8%
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The new one, keep going! Votes: 267 71.2%
Total voters: 375
53
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fun read, but it was too fast, your power creep was worse than DBZ
, I mean you literally jumped tiers like they were nothing
few suggestions:
- make tier a quality change and separate them from evolution( another progression system so to say) while evolution only makes it easier to advance tiers
- you can use the hive aspect to create a semi kingdom building scenario, maybe war with factions like demons and undead, while humans are food for those two, all of them are food for xenomorphs
- make that snake more lethargic, after all time for an immortal is of no consequence, 100y is like a second
- generally slow down the pace, add more descriptions of characters, prolong the fights with tactics and make the enemies more capable (this one is the hardest)
- try to make characters a bit more complex instead of let's do this and then do that, they shouldn't change opinions in seconds just because someone just said something to them ::
{
"We need to reach the heli-pad, and get out of the city now! They've decided to use a thermonuclear warhead to end this!" Lexi said while Sara froze.
"No, you can't, a lot of innocent people will die!" Sara took a step back.
"Fine, I'll call it off, but if we can't find a solution for this within an hour, I will blow this place to kingdom come!"
"Thank you!" She turned around and opened a door, only to find an empty room and weapons inside.
}
his change in decision was too rapid
these are all for now, I will probably have more comments later
I hope you continue writing and wish you the best in your venture
I will, thanks for the help, I also realize that it's kind of barebones, I'll add more descriptions and such next chapter.
the way i see it, the current one has some for of struggle for the mc while the other one just say him get a lazer that cut through everything and he had no real challenge or goal.
New challenge. Continue to add as much nonsensical stuff as you can on the journey to rescue the sister and the princess whilst still being coherent.
Much like what schuldraigh and whimsicalzombi said.
I think you should make it so he will grow stronger and then go and save the old universe. Or to be more specific to save the holy Xeno and princess-chan and who happens to be with them.
Also, Girl takes some well-earned rest. You deserve it, I don't want you to fall unconscious on us.
You are a girl, right?
Agreed.
@Ahmed I'm a potato
Add another realm if you want as long as it is entertaining. Just don't leave loose ends. Even though everything is chaotic. It kinda makes a little sense at least.
JUST WRITE WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT!!!
Old universe is pretty much dead. You pulled out jormungundur as a literal god with a time limit, so while I might miss the holy xeno and kun-chan, you should probably make this one real (or perceived, since reality is relative) for a longer (and/or more interesting) story since things tend to fall apart when deific killing is commonplace.
keep the new one going until the story resolves itself or the character dies or whatever etc. then have him wake up in the old universe with everything being a dream
both? I'm kinda an all kinda person and if she makes herself a base here why not let her keep it? I mean as a xenomorph the more bases / planets / total territory they have under them the more powerful they are. Really a STG hive based creature you know?
You can always return
Personally, I'm out. this was fun but it is all happening way too fast for me. Don't take it personally sazulfur. me suddenly losing interest in a novel I'm reading, even a good one is just common. Good luck my friend, and who knows? Maybe you'll see me again in the future.