I don’t quite remember what time it was when I fell asleep, but it was definitely the following day when I awoke abruptly. A loud noise emanated from somewhere in my apartment so for a brief second, I thought someone had broken in. However, once I stepped into the kitchen, the source of the noise, I instantly relaxed as I saw Emi’s girlfriend, Rue, helping teach the two girls how to cook.
‘Morning sleepyhead.’ I heard from behind me, making me turn my head around to a partially worn out but smiling Emi standing in her work outfit. ‘After the events of yesterday, I thought you needed some time to actually sleep. After all, you did leave your panic diary out on your desk.’
…drat.
‘It’s okay though,’ She added comfortingly, after looking towards the girls for a brief pause. ‘I did take the other spare room while you slept after I put the diary away. After all, I couldn’t leave the cuties unsupervised on the same day you had your episode.’
I wasn’t awake enough for a heartfelt comment, but I gave her a warm, thankful look through my sleepy haze. I got a pat on the back as she passed me on her way to the girls. A comment about breakfast left me groggily heading for the shower. I remembered to grab my clothes first this time, grabbing a red shirt with a family-friendly, cartoony image over the previous one I picked, with casual trousers and a pair of somewhat expensive sneakers.
After a good wash, I felt refreshed and more awake than I was earlier. The grogginess was replaced with an awareness that seemed to amplify for a few seconds before returning to my usual senses. It felt weird, but I’ve had it ever since that incident from my past and I usually assumed it was linked to all my previous panic attacks. Throwing that thought to the wind, I brought myself back to the attention of the four girls in my kitchen.
Breakfast always felt better with a friend, but with the addition of the two girls that both Emi and Rue are dubbing as “kid-sune” girls, there was a weird feeling that also felt familiar to me. It was hard to describe, but the thought of being a father to the girls had just formed into my mind.
Which begged the question that immediately popped into my mind afterwards; Where are their parents?
I hadn’t realised I was so focused on this train of thought, that the older of the two young girls had tugged at the hem of my shirt. She’d been trying to get my attention for whoever knows how long. I think I had zoned out for longer than a few minutes, but I forced myself to forget these thoughts as I looked down at her.
‘What is it, sweetie?’ I asked gently, patting her head then giving a little scratch when done.
‘Uhm, why do you look sad?’ Her head leant to the side a little as she hesitated with her question.
In all honesty, I shouldn’t have expected them to understand what it is I’m actually feeling. I picked up the girl, placing her in my lap as I explained that I was just thinking about something that wasn’t very interesting and it seemed to calm her down. I cast a silent look towards Emi and I hoped she got the message that I’d like to talk to her privately.
After Emi left her girlfriend in charge of the two girls, as she had more experience due to her actual job, we went off to talk privately in my bedroom. After all, it’s the only room with an inside lock.
‘What did you want to talk about?’ She questioned me, as I sat on the bed and she sat on the only chair in the room. ‘I’m guessing it has something to do with those girls out there having fun and, from what I’ve heard from you, loosening up from high anxiety?’ Her face shared a serious look with my own, as she began to twiddle her short hair in her fingers.
‘Yeah,’ I replied solemnly. ‘Since my shower, I’ve continuously been worrying about where their parents are. I’ve also noticed that the girls don’t seem to be worrying about them either. It’s like they’ve moved on. It just doesn’t feel… you know, right. Know what I mean?’
‘I understand, Jake.’ She replied, reaching out and placing her hand on mine reassuringly while I rested it on my knee. ‘I’ll ask a friend of ours to see if there’s anything they can look for. Would that settle you for now?’
A weight lifted from my shoulders I didn’t know I had, nodding my head in response and earning me a pat on the back as I stood up and headed out the room. I got up a little bit too quickly, getting a dizzying sensation followed by various lights and colours that flittered across my eyes. The usual signs of feeling light-headed, oddly stronger than I’ve ever felt it before. Again, I guessed it was probably a sign of my episodes.
Behind me, I could hear her calling our mutual friend from behind the door. Before I headed back to the kitchen, which was enticed with the vivid aroma wafting from that direction, I went to my study desk, wrote down my fleeting worries onto a pad of paper. I then passed them to Emi while she was still on her phone.
The morning had been rather slow, just how I preferred it. However with the addition of the two girls, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit uneasy. At one point they opened up enough to have a little game of hide and seek in my apartment, but with the lack of hiding spaces, it quickly turned into a short game of tag. Just before lunch was to roll around, the two girls could be seen sleeping soundly on the sofa.
It was about an hour earlier when Emi had joined us. Her call had lasted almost a solid two hours, but she left the call to confirm that our friend had begun looking into it. What honestly surprised me, is since he’d left college six years ago he’d somehow made a name for himself as a very special lawyer. After all, he had dropped out early when he’d been given a job halfway through his last year, but somehow his grade was good enough as it was for him to land the job.
He now helps run a business that backs Emi’s shop and many others for those willing to help people like the two girls with me. Every time I began looking at them, it always gave me a feeling that they’re a little like me. Even with pushing the thought to the back of my head, it kept nagging like some kind of instinctual knowledge. Not that I’d know what the feeling actually was, but weirdly, it also felt... right. Almost protective, with how forefront it felt.
Making myself divert my train of thought from htat nonsensical stuff, I remembered the guy Emi called was a mutual friend of ours, but I couldn’t exactly remember his name. Even after she’d mentioned it in passing. Looking back, it wasn’t a surprise to see that he was so invested in getting a job. After all, he was following in his father’s footsteps to make an image for himself. After all, he was helping an old friend from his position while supposedly managing other support centres against the bigotry in their local areas.
Hopefully according to her brief response in front of the girls, who were distracted with some cake making, he’d help to look or have an employee look into the case of the parents. I hoped they found something soon. But putting that on the back burner, I sat down at the table with a freshly brewed coffee, as the two girls struggled to make some cookies.
Out of habit, I kept looking at the clock on the cooking stove setup and started to move to the lounge for a television series I’ve been watching lately. I had no idea how long today was going to feel, but just one thing was definitely going to change my life. And I really had no idea how much it would affect me in the years to come. And for the better, might I add.
