That concluded the trial, if only because everyone started talking at the same time. By the time we might consider reconvening, there were small riots all over the capital. My words hadn’t fallen on deaf ears. Many people didn’t know there was an alternative to having a king or a queen, and so, obviously, there was more than a little confusion. Queen Anastasia herself had found it hard to push back against my proclamation and her own people, but she did need some help understanding just how a representative democracy could work. Erza to the rescue, thankfully. The three of us sat down and Erza presented her plan to start an instant transition to the new Wydonian system of government, including a total demilitarization. Wydonia had no hostile neighbours; it only had an enslaved populace to keep down since the reunification.
I was only partly there. Physically, I was present, but I found it harder and harder to keep my mind on these proceedings. In my head, I had done what I had to. My ‘powers’ as queen had ended, and the only reason I was here, I felt, was out of a sense of obligation. There were already more competent people present. I tried to spend as much time as I could -- which, sadly, wasn’t all that much -- with Kazumi, and some intervening time with John. We talked about soul magic a whole lot.
Morgana had taken me aside early on, taking me to a balcony overlooking the Dergow. She stood by the bannister with her arms crossed. She was, as always, completely impossible to read. “So,” she said, and I was worried I was about to get yelled at.
“So?” I asked.
“You,” she said, and turned to me, and I saw the slightest of smiles play on her lips, “are absolutely impossible.”
“I… what?” I was taken aback, not just by what she’d said, but by how much her face had softened when she’d smiled. The residual hatred that had seemingly kept her going was in there, somewhere, but it wasn’t the sole engine that fueled her existence.
“You would give the river back to the Elf and end the line of Kings,” she said. I wasn’t sure where she was going with this. “I expected you to wrest control of the river. That the river would run red with human blood as a new generation of Elf took back what was theirs.” I looked at her sheepishly. “You did as promised, Que-- well, not anymore, I suppose. Just Eliza.” She looked out to the river. “The Elf have been given the freedom to sail the river, if not own it. And there will be no more Kings or Queens in Wydonia.” She shook her head and laughed. “I am still trying to figure out if I over- or underestimated you, Eliza.” She looked me in the eyes, and there was that little smile again. “But consider our compact fulfilled.” Her eyes turned back to the river. “Perhaps there will be a place for me on the next Ark-city. I’ve missed the water.”
“I--” I began eloquently, and then decided not to say much else of anything. We watched the sun rise over the river in silence. I wondered if she would be accepted. If she would feel anything again, if she’d ever be whole again. If there was anything I’d learned, it was that broken things could be mended, given time and care.
“Thank you,” was the last thing she said before she headed back inside. She was a valuable part of the reconstruction talks after that. She was the only person present who remembered a time when the giant cities sailed the Dergow, after all, even though the Elf hadn’t been the first on this continent either. No Kings, that included them. Morgana didn’t care about that, after all. It wasn’t about the Feudalism. It was about the freedom. The glory of the ark-cities didn’t come from a crown. She wasn’t the only Elf voice in the room, however, and she had many, many loud arguments with the modern Elf. But it was always healthy, leading to compromise that everyone could agree with.
After a few days, during one of the talks with the people who had been selected to represent the people of Wydonia in the interim, while its first election was being set up, Erza took me aside. She had a worried look on her face, and I was worried I’d missed something. I’d been zoning out more and more while matters of agriculture and the like were discussed.
“Eliza,” she said, and looked up at me. “Liz.” A lot went unsaid in those few moments. We’d both come a very long way to end up here, making change on a systemic level. Rebuilding a nation steeped in archaic power structures and ancient, harmful traditions was what we’d set out to do, in a sense. But it had started as just, well, saving the queen. This was bigger than me. She put a hand on my arm and looked up at me. Her smile was warm and her eyes were… sad? There was a melancholy look on her face that I couldn’t quite place. “Go home, Liz.”
I nodded and, not really giving a damn about what anyone else might think, pulled her in for a hug. She froze for half a second and then relaxed. We stood there for a moment, our breaths synchronizing. When I pulled away, the energy between us was strange. To a certain degree, it always had been. She’d been better than me at this. She’d had a more powerful energy than me, and if I hadn’t been in the room, she would’ve always been the tallest, most imposing figure. I’d looked up at her for her sheer competence, and blushed at her unabashed diplomatic bluntness. And now we were equals.
Unspoken, there was a feeling that, in another life, things would have been very different between us. I didn’t know how, but there’d always been something unspoken between us. Our eye contact lasted a second too long and I swallowed some unspoken feelings.
“I’ll see you soon,” I said. I almost managed to keep my voice from cracking. She belonged up north, didn’t she? She’d come visit, right? Besides, the lands where my old castle was had been Orc lands; she could even move in there. Why did this feel like a goodbye of sorts? She nodded and smiled.
I found Kazumi and informed her that we weren’t really needed up here anymore, and we started to get ready to make our way back up north. Sally, John and Elena would be coming as well. Most of the others would be sticking around in the capital.
It was in the late morning when Kazumi slithered off to say goodbye to Erza too while we waited in some hidden front garden, close to the path down to the city. When she finally joined us, she was still wiping her tears. I smiled at her. “You too, huh?” She nodded. It was possible it was going to be a while before Erza was going to be able to join us up north. There was also the fact of the castle to consider. It had no name, and it didn’t feel right to keep the ugly thing if I wasn’t going to be queen. The whole point was the redistribution of power, it wouldn’t make sense for me to sit in a large black castle and look down on the surrounding fields.
We’d be staying there while we looked for a place up in the country where Kazumi and I could move. Finding a place for me to live was going to be tricky, considering my size, so we’d agreed that a compromise could be made while we built something. Finally, the five of us were ready to head home. Sally would be coming with us, of course. She didn’t have anywhere else to go, which was part of her problems, too. There was a lot we had to do, a lot of miracles we had to try to make work. On the upside, we had all the time in the world, now.
We piled into the coach. For the journey, I wore the magic stone the Dragonborn Matriarch had given me. For one thing, we didn’t want to get recognized everywhere we went. That was the emotional reason. We wanted a quiet trip back, one without danger or excitement. The practical reason would have been waiting for my private coach to make its way all the way down here, because I sure wasn’t going to fit into a normal one. It was a comfortable vehicle, and I felt a little bad for how expensive it felt. My guilt, however, was overshadowed by the fact that I hadn’t exactly enjoyed many creature comforts in the weeks leading up to our arrival at the capital. We deserved to relax.
The coach started to move with a slight jolt, and the gentle bouncing of the carriage quickly rocked me to a dreamless sleep. There was something about being on the road that had always been relaxing to me. Y’know, when there wasn’t a timer on the lives of other people. Leaning against Kazumi, I felt safe, cozy, and while I knew we’d be on the road for almost two weeks, there was a part of me that felt like I’d wake up at home if I just fell asleep against her.
To my disappointment, when I woke up, I was still in the carriage. To my satisfaction, Kazumi had her arm around me. She was snoring softly and stirred when I sat upright. It must have been some time in the afternoon and we’d long left the capital behind us. The fields around us were empty, the harvest having been concluded in the past week. Winter had just about arrived. I wondered how the transition to a society without forced labour was going to impact Wydonia. I worried for a moment that there’d be new power dynamics, but then I realized that, well, of course this was going to happen. Change was going to be constant and difficult, but every step towards equality was a necessary one. Besides, Erza had some plans to socialize the distribution of food, which would go a long way to easing the transition.
We stayed at a few inns along the way. All the way up north, we asked, inconspicuously, how the changes had affected them. Most people were somewhat bewildered, but hadn’t really noticed a change in their lifestyle. The biggest difference was that most towns we’d noticed had haphazardly erected new structures that could house the recently freed, and educate those who had never had that opportunity before. Apparently, there were mages all over Wydonia who were working as teachers.
There were no major riots that we could see, which I was glad for. The people of Wydonia, for the most part, didn’t seem to be resisting the changes too much. Sure, there’d be people who didn’t like the change in power structures but, and I considered this with the utmost respect, fuck ‘em. I had little patience for people who considered their own discomfort a more important issue than the freedom of other people.
Every day was colder than the last. We were more than halfway through our journey, and we could already see the mountains looming in the distance. We’d taken a more western route -- we’d elected not to pass by the Redwood again -- and we’d be riding past the mountain pass John and Elena had held for most of the ‘war’ soon. It was also getting so cold that we could see our breath, and after a certain point, Elena had summoned a small, concentrated ball of fire that hung in the middle of the coach. I was impressed with her progress -- I’d read her frankly endearing diary -- especially when I saw her fall asleep and the little ball of warmth didn’t waver for a second. She’d achieved a level of self-control I hadn’t expected from her, and, well, I was proud.
John was reading some on the opposite bench. Elena had fallen asleep against him and he smiled at me. “If you have a moment, do you want to go over the magic again? We’ll be crossing the Dergow soon.” I nodded. We’d discussed some things, some theory, but I still needed to know what exactly we could do, what I could do.
“So,” he said. “Soul magic is difficult, incredibly so. As far as I’m aware, you’re the only living practitioner, although one can never be certain. The problem is simply the immense power it requires,” he expositioned. I knew some of this already, but it helped me to go over this stuff again. The limits of what I could do had always been vague. “All magic concerns the use and manipulation of one’s own soul one way or the other, but to create, destroy and change another person’s soul on the scale you’re attempting is, well…” he paused. “There’s no precedent. Nothing written down, at least. The closest example I can imagine is what the old Demon Queen did with Morgana, and that was different. As I understand it, Morgana was barely a soul, and there was a body to work with. This is… unheard of.”
I nodded. I knew how unlikely succeeding here was. But I had to try. John cleared his throat and lifted his book slightly to indicate that he was still studying. “Now, if I understand this correctly, what you will be doing is a combination of a form of Necromancy, the communication with souls that linger, and Soul magic, the manipulation of those souls. We know her soul lingers -- you hold it in your hand -- but we don’t know if she can communicate in this state. There’s a reference to this kind of crystallization before, but not much is known about it.” He flipped to a bookmarked page. “Now, because she has no body to feel with, she is not currently receiving any kind of new stimuli, and without a mind, she can not comprehend her current situation. She’s not, well, conscious. She isn’t thinking, as such.”
“But she’s still alive?”
“In a sense. You are carrying the essence of who she was. Her emotions and feelings. But if I understand correctly, these are still, well, feeling themselves. To keep her in that state indefinitely would not be… hm… I don’t think it would be right.” I nodded. If she was in there, just her feelings, then that was a fate worse than death. “One way or the other,” he said, “the best thing to do will be to release the soul and try to help it form a body. We can not randomly assign her an empty vessel; the soul requires something familiar to latch onto or it might reject the new body outright.” He glanced at me and Sally. “Though there have been exceptions. The study of the Adjacent Realm,” he said, referring to the world I’d come from, “is young and largely conjecture.” He closed the book. “You will have to take your chance, and try to guide her to you. And if you can not, then you’ll be with her when she finally passes on.”
Kazumi had been listening intently along for a while now, too. She nodded. It was a scary prospect, but we’d both, in a certain sense, already said goodbye to her, a dozen times over. We had to take the chance to get her back, but in a worst case scenario, the ritual would function just as well as a funeral and a wake.
We crossed the Dergow a few days later. It was funny to see small chunks of ice float down the river, carried downstream from the mountains. It had been months since we’d crossed it, and freezing it then had been a difficult endeavour, to say the least. We’d decided to skip right past Shereton and Whitehallow. We didn’t really want to waste time. On our last day of approach to the castle, it had started to snow. The fields around us were covered as if by a pristine white blanket. I remembered vaguely seeing snow like that as a child, but I’d lived in the city most of my life. Snow never really stayed on the ground for long around exhaust fumes.
We arrived at the castle. It was even more of an oppressive eyesore in winter, its black stone in stark contrast to the white landscape. But when we exited the carriage and the snow crunched softly underfoot, and I could smell the crispness of winter, I couldn’t help but admire it. It was peaceful and quiet, in a solitary kind of way. A kind of lone watcher, away from the mountains. We made our way inside quickly -- it was too cold to stay outside for too long -- and found that the servant staff was still present and still simply doing its thing. It occurred to me that the changes in Wydonia had not been extended north of the river, and that we’d have to make some reforms up here of our own. But all in due time.
Kazumi and I made our way to our quarters, which had been kept exactly the same as we’d kept them, although the staff had made sure to clean everything, of course. Not a cobweb in sight. My beautiful Lamia and I fell onto the bed and immediately fell asleep in each other’s arms. We’d been on the road for so long, finally coming back to this bed felt almost surreal, though I wasn’t planning on spending too much time philosophising about it.
The next day, we wasted no time. John joined us in the Room of Relaxation. It was my room, without the music or the sound of running water this time. There was also no tea. We weren’t here to rest, we were here for Sabine.
I carefully extracted her Soul Stone from the necklace we’d made to carry it, and placed it on the table. John wasn’t going to be performing any magic here, and Kazumi couldn’t do much more than watch, but as far as I was concerned, John was the expert and I wasn’t going to do it without Kazumi. She’d loved Sabine just as much as I had.
John, seemingly less than eager to break the silence, motioned for me to hold the crystal as he got up and prepared to leave us. He’d told me the day before that what I’d need to do was find a way to release the soul without breaking it. The crystal was both a vessel and a physical manifestation of Sabine as a disembodied person, so I had to be careful not to shatter, well, her. And that would require intimate silence, one he wasn’t willing to break. He gave us the space we would need as he closed the door behind him.
I held her loosely in my hand and closed my fingers over it, feeling the crystal, trying to find where Sabine separated from the gemstone, but I was having trouble focusing. I was scared I was going to mess this up and hurt her. The last thing I wanted was for her last experience in this world to be pain. Then Kazumi’s hand very gently touched the back of mine, and her soft fingers intertwined with mine, and it slowly became clearer to me. I could feel Sabine in the stone, a thin barrier between her and eternity where she existed in a state of non-existence, a limbo of emotions but no conscience of what was going on. Ever so slowly, I let myself, my energy, flow into my hand, and Kazumi gasped. I looked up at her but she shook her head with a smile. Perhaps she could simply feel it too, as I ran the magic into the Sapphire.
Ever so slightly, I felt the barrier begin to crack. It was subtle at first, hairline fractures that were felt more than heard or seen, but slowly but surely I felt a latticework of lines spread across the Sapphire. In my other hand, I began to gather strength, power, energy, whatever she’d need to construct herself a body out of the aether. I’d be here to catch her when her soul went looking for her body.
Then the Soul Stone shattered, and Sabine unleashed on us the full breadth of her emotions. Who she was, who she had been, every emotion and sensation, swept through Kazumi and me.
It was harrowing. It was amazing. It was awful, and perfect. I had always felt like I was never good enough, could never be good enough, for two women like Kazumi and myself, but now I felt, as if these were my own sensations, what it was like to love me, and if I had been any weaker I feared it might have killed me. She had loved me so utterly and completely and in the blink of an eye I experienced and remembered every second we had ever spent loving one another. I saw myself the way she saw me and it was the most beautiful, the most painful thing I had ever seen. I had never felt so loved as I did in that moment when I felt what she had, that every single doubt I’d ever had had been unfounded. She had loved me totally, completely, and without a second of doubt or remorse.
Another wave came, as her love for Kazumi swept through me, and it was the most exquisite experience. I got to love her, now, in two ways instead of one, love her like Sabine had, powerful and different. She was so much more beautiful now that I could see her the way Sabine had, not because I’d never loved or appreciated Kazumi, but because Sabine had noticed little things I’d never seen and loved her for them. The two emotions entwined until Sabine was as much a part of me as I myself had been and I could no longer see Kazumi only as I’d seen her, and as our eyes met I realized she now saw me the way Sabine had, and we cried.
Tears streaked and burned down our face as Sabine’s very essence ran through us and we felt, over and over again, how important we were, how much we’d mattered to someone we had loved so purely and so deeply, impossible to ignore. We cried as we felt her and she was nothing less than amazing. She had loved us so much, so joyfully and without restriction, that it seemed there was no end to it, and there was no end to our tears for her.
I readied my hand, powered myself up, and tried to mentally coax the wisp-like soul to find it, to hold on and create herself a new body. I felt her run through me and more sobs wracked my body as I felt every emotion she’d felt in a split second, and I felt her touch the magic for a moment.
And then she was gone.
The feeling of her, like a torrent, like an ocean in a storm, as it had thundered through us, was suddenly gone. She’d left behind her feelings, of course, I would never be able to forget what it felt like to love myself as someone else had, truly see myself that way, nor would I ever want to. It was the greatest gift she’d left behind. The power in my hand hummed and sizzled, waiting to be used, but there was nobody here to use it.
Kazumi held me and I held her, and we both loved each other more than we’d ever had, thanking Sabine over and over again as we cried in each other’s arms.
---
Two months passed, and Lisa had barely sat down with her cup of coffee.
“Miss Drake, there’s a visitor for you.”
Lisa pressed the button on the little intercom. She still wasn’t used to the fact that she had her own office now, but apparently it was something LIT entertainment reserved for all their writing staff. There needed to be a sanctum where ideas could float around and be found in silence.
“If it’s Daniel, you can just let him in, Cee,” she said. Daniel came to visit her here often and she relished her little visits. He’d toned down some of his activism recently as she’d had to bail him out twice in the past month. He had never looked sorry for even a second, and his shit-eating grin had been one of best things she’d ever seen. If she understood him, and she liked to think that she did, he was so very glad to finally be fighting for something worthwhile again. And this world had plenty of worthy causes. And sure, he was the first to wave a banner, but he’d also volunteer in soup kitchens. Now that she was a full-time paid author, they’d agreed that he’d focus on what mattered to him while she would provide for him. The savings account was still there, but their combined pride led to them barely touching it. And they didn’t need to. Lisa was “Miss Drake” now, although -- and she wouldn’t admit this even under threat of death -- she was looking forward to becoming Mrs. Drake some time soon. Daniel wasn’t as subtle as he thought he was.
And she was a published author now, and her work on more DLC for the game had quickly earned her a name in the gaming community. The story of a fan author who had written what was quickly becoming the best selling expansion to not just this game, but any, was one that made for good headlines. She was proud of her work, and deservedly so. It had, however, made her the target of headhunters and journalists alike, and while she’d initially liked giving interviews, they had become tiring after a while. Which is why she wasn’t eager to respond when Cee, the wonderful woman at the front desk who owed her two (2) frappuccinos now, answered her.
“It isn’t, Miss Drake. She says she knows you.”
“Oh?” Lisa said, a little confused. Other than Daniel and, to an extent, Sally’s family, most of the people she had gotten to know had been through this job. They were a wonderfully diverse group, and she got along with many of them, but none of them called in from the front desk. “I -- send her in, I suppose.”
The girl who knocked on her door seemed more than a little insecure. She was young, maybe nineteen years old, wearing an overly large sweater and an overly large shirt. She looked unkempt, if clean. Her hair was a mess of brown curls and her blue eyes flitted around like she was trying to take in everything. She’d seen the type before. Because of Lisa’s success in the online writing community, a lot of young, promising writers contacted her in the hope that she’d read their work and put in a good word in the industry. Sadly, her push and pull therein was less than she would like. Still, the ones that came to her office she heard out. It was the least she could do if they’d come all this way.
The girl sat down and Lisa sat down opposite her. With a soft voice, the girl started talking, and Lisa listened, her fingers steepled on her desk. With every word, Lisa listened more and more intently, her eyes narrowing. Occasionally she interjected with a question or a soft exclamation, but she let the young girl speak. When she was finally done, Lisa took a deep breath, and pressed a button.
“Mark, I’m going to be out for the rest of the day.” She paused. “Actually, it might be the rest of the week. Yeah, it is. Thank you. I’ll make it up to-- Oh, shut up.” She smiled as she put the phone back down and looked at the girl.
“Well,” she said, and crossed her arms. She was considering a lot of things. She was, to a certain extent, one of the few people as used to having her world overturned as she was. It was the only reason she was still as calm as she was. She could tell that the girl was nervous, bewildered, even. Lisa smiled at her, trying to comfort her as best she could. She knew it would take more than that, of course; her story was, well… Lisa could empathize.
“I promise you,” Lisa Drake said, “we are going to do everything we can to get you home, Sabine.”
A shame we couldn't see Sabine return home, but that does leave the ending open enough for a sequel. Which is an awesome concept.
Thank you for sharing the amazing journey with us Ela. I like all of your stories, and I gotta say, this one is my favorite.
I knew it! Sabine was gonna crossover to our world.
Thanks for the story! I'm definitely happy for the possibility of a sequel.
Oof. A part of me was kinda holding out hope for a better outcome there, but I get it. On another note, not much stopping Lisa or Daniel from telling Liz about Sabine should she ever contact them again, which was stated to be possible. That makes things a bit more optimistic to me, at least. This has been one of my favorite stories on the site regardless, so thanks for the ride!
Thanks for the memories. And the gutpuches. Because *emotionally?* Ow. Somehow you managed to address at least half of my problems with isekai, with a style of a style. I loved the characters. I don't remember the last time a story made me feel this seen, let alone at the median of a wide target audience. This work feels like something meaningful rather than only for survival and marketing. It was wonderful to be along for the ride.
Hopefully you've felt this same sort of jarring and uncomfortable strain as a work repeatedly makes you think interjections like "Yes! That's exactly it!" until your brain starts sparking. Because uwa~ was reading this a trip. Perhaps that emotion should be articulated as aaaaa. This deja reve is mostly from the necessary implications of addressing "why don't more of these people have or escape gender dysphoria?" and "in either world, nearly all of these supposed arch-heroes ignore classism and capital (the bastards)" and "they could do rehabilitation here but apparently therapy is less interesting than an antihero heel-face button or retribution". Not everyone is that kind of hero but if some were as modern and compassionate as their work claims, they should more often at least have an inkling of these issues. Even uncontroversial anti-slavery plots tend to be less systemic than yours, despite getting given far more focus and grit. Rehabilitating broken people is great. The relationships in Demon Queen may have not been the most dramatic but they felt more real and familiar than nearly all isekai.
One the one hand I wish I'd read this a year ago, on the other I'm grateful to read it now. Despite sharing aid and small victories, many of us have moments we feel that the good trouble of dissent or the trouble-trouble of transition are unwinnable wars. They're not unwinnable but we've both seen and/or felt the hurt when we're intrinsically unable to quit, pulling slowly, toward the unclear outline of some imperfect "brighter future". Thanks for a bit of timely hope, and any unintended off-target effects I got from your good medicine. Thanks for the feels, I'll support you going forward. And unrelated: Thanks! Good job! Fun stuff.
I debated whether to end it with thanks or editorial. I settled on positivity. I just want you / anyone ever reading this comment to have a sense of how much I appreciate your work. Maybe I'm temporarily inspired, maybe I'm still in validation afterglow despite intentionally stepping away from your work for a day to chill out before writing this. This hit hard; right in the feels with the right tropes at the right time. I don't know whether this will age in my memory more as 'another great thing I binge-read' or closer to 'for some strange reason this The Matrix film felt validating'. I didn't ask to be the Demon Queen will stick with me as one of my favorite other-world stories. Keep improving.
You weren't so Pratchettesque as to use hard (or soft-boiled) events, but you have started drifting in that direction recently. When you spread that charm beyond narration and quips, your stories click into place. I'd like you to be clear about the implications of societies you write, maybe more to the soft and Hello Future Me side of things than the hard Brandon Sanderson side. The society-scale worldbuilding could benefit from your writing style. Your prose dances. It's a dorky boogie but it's a fun dance. Worldbuilding pays off and your prose is increasingly versatile.
I set aside the long critique I wrote for myself about the style, as you're practicing aplenty. In general I am glad you are not writing a sequel with this story as canon. Face conflicts in ways appropriate to the story's context: this work's longstanding villains are either abstract or literally one minor villain in two scenes. Treat relevant social groups as if they are named characters. 'Which parts of casting are coincidences and which have ramifications?' And so on. As much as I adored this work, I hope you let it sit for a long while until it is embarrassingly nostalgic yet distantly remembered.
Looking forward to your future! - S (if anyone even reads these late comments~~)
Clearest conflict setups: Sally's struggle and sisters, Sabine's life and fate and love, newly freemen, what happens when an eldritch abomination is two-faced, time to break the logic of the world / do not ignite. I wasn't clear how much I'm hooked for a sequel, it's just that last conflict that makes current canon difficult.
Another story down and so many emotions that come from reading something to the end :) Again thanks and great work!
PHHHHEEEEW!! Sabine is alive!!! Was a lil worried there :P But knew as soon she got the call from the front desk :) Seeing as Liz should hopefully be trying help Sally contact and/or visit Earth, I doubt she miss the sudden new 19 year old girl turning up in the apartment. Side note, I'd like to think from the passing comment that Daniel, Lisa and Sallys family have been in contact etc more than a few times since last time, especially how important she (Sally) was to her family plus sisters, and she herself feels about them. Almost thought it WAS Sally for splut second as it seems she was just out of Highschool, but till her backstory was revealed we had no idea how old she was exactly (at family Home with sisters and all)
Ditto what posted last chap- see Liz, what happened after the trial should have been BEFORE the sudden chaotic announcement you made during it!! Its bit like Otto all over again, though here Eliza choose not to dump the ill advised and thought speech on people and instead go straight to them now sitting down (summarising similar to as presented) and working thing out. Less chaos and Anna being publically 'slapped' around before her JUST reunified, JUST stopped war and almost massacre of people she too wanted to help (but with now sudden slavery drop making her seem to have been totally idiotically blind to before).
As someone else suggested, I totally see this as should been intro of parlimentary system to the Monarchy that plans with time to reduce the powere of the Queen etc as systems and new powers are set in place over years, problems worked out, and accepted and running smoothly, with even dismissing nobels along to eventually the Queen at the end over the process. Considering who Liz says she is and wants with peace, and earlier before journey capital herself saying you cant jump straight into democracy and expect it work, it feels far more in style.
THANK GOD for Erza!
Its not like liz and ANNA couldn't have later worked out and set up this national speech to talk to the people later as PARTNERS they should have been, and after helping the people settle down first, then explaining in process some of the ideas and goals they'd be aiming to achieve to the people.
Good thing Liz helped her public image at home bit more before the journey, or this speech might have seen her return to her shredded clothes on the front lawn (if she was lucky)
Again Wyndonian showing a very strange reaction to said slave/races that doesn't fit with late game intro of slavery. Some how they 'seem' more than fine setting up homes and schools and more for people that we initially were told were kicked out and recontextualised as monsters generations ago. Instead Wyndonians clearly continued living with their previous "neighbors" and didnt seem anywhere near as disassociated with the idea that they are people. If this wasn't the case then no way things be going this smoothly.
ALL THE BEST!!! Your an amazing writer, there was so much I enjoyed about this story, and look forward to reading your other works :D !!!
Thank you for all of your reactions. A lot of your problems with the story is stuff I agree with, and it's stuff I would rework and rewrite if I want to publish this. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you had a good time ?
@Elamimax I'm glad and hope it didnt come across too negative or me hating (def not meant too). Know you dont have much time in your busy life, but if you want see wider thoughts; I posted some comments earlier chapters recently-
though thats not full and everything I thought. plus closer to end 1/3 etc; what with it being immediate reations at time reading- really should write review if I also get some free time myself time - This story is a true gold mine just waiting to be explored further :)
AGAIn great story, and definitely check out extended/publsished version if ever done :) Thank you for the great story you wrote & All THE BEST :) !!!
This story has been one of the best I've read in a long time. It's been funny, heartwarming, sad and Gay! and I've loved it from start to finish.
Thank you so much for sharing it with us. :3 Also this was a lovely, heartwarming and delightful ending. :3
what an incredible story. Oh how i hope sabine gets home i will sob if she doesnt. thank you so much for the story, author. wish you all the best.
I found a link to this story on twitter months ago and finally got around to reading it this week. This story is excellent and I'm so happy I read it, this last chapter def made me cry, but I'm glad it did.
Happy to have you! I'm very curious where this story was linked but thank you for the kind comments!
@Elamimax It was a post from like October where someone mentioned how mmuch they loved "Isekaied as the villainess of an otome game" stories, and someone replied with a link to this story, which doesn't quite fit that description but is def in the same ballpark
@SyntaxSpeedway oh yeah this was hard based on Hamefura
An open ending is like a cliffhanger, it's bittersweet.
Still it's a lovely story and I'm happy I've read it
Well. This has been quite a ride. First, I guess, regarding this chapter--thank whatever gods exist in this setting that aren't responsible for killing her to begin with, you didn't kill off Sabine. I was *so* genuinely sure for a minute there that you were going Bury Your Gays, which just seemed so weird and out-of-character with reference to your style. I am sad that it ends on a cliffhanger, and I will miss lich Sabine, but at least the pain is over. Until next readthrough, anyway, I guess.
Overall, though: genuine thanks for what's been a fantastic book, probably among my favorites, and certainly among the best I've read this year. Trans protags are far too rare, and this was a very well-written one. Poly romance is also incredibly hard to find, and this was a great one, massive amounts of pain later on aside. And really, I just love genuinely heroic villain protagonists, so this was a real treat. Plus, it had harem elements, which is a genre that is not *nearly* gay enough. Honestly, the application of the Useless Lesbian trope to a harem plotline is sheer brilliance.
I'm very excited by any further work you've got planned, especially a sequel (and any accompanying revision, which would be a great excuse to reread the original), but also anything new you've got up your sleeve. You are definitely an author to keep an eye on. I'm a little wary of committing to a Patreon due to my current financial situation, but you're at or near the top of my list of Patreons to consider as soon as I feel that I can. In the meantime, I hope to Paypal you a little the next time I'm able (hopefully within the month); this has been a better read than many things I could get from a bookstore, so I feel like you more than deserve the money I would have paid for it if it were published.
(Honestly, I feel a little bad being so blunt here about my prior concerns. I know you are better than that. Sorry if that came across as rude.)
Thank you so much. i'm very glad you enjoyed it the way you have, and I hope you enjoy whatever I work on next ^_^
Don't worry about paying if you can't afford to right now. I release these online for free for a reason :)