‘Sorry, I’m busy. Another time.’

I sighed at Nicole’s succinct text, slamming the car door and locking it with a click of the fob. Watching my step in the icy parking lot, I headed over to the squat, brown building that composed the batting cage center. The metal cages poked out from behind it, the sound of pitches connecting with bats ringing out from even here. Bits of gravel from the apparent shoddy work of the summer crew crunched under my shoes until I entered in through the glass door. It closed with a thump that alerted both the owner and Aubrey to my presence. He moved to man the register off to the right side while Aubrey stood up from one of the many plastic chairs they had lying around. 

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

At the counter, I gave him the vouchers and he motioned us to go through the back after handing us a pair of helmets and a cup of tokens. We plodded over the white tile floor until once again we were outside. The wind whipped at us in greeting before just as quickly settling back down. It would be interesting to see how that affected the pitches the machines would be throwing out.

The batting cages themselves weren’t much different from how I had remembered a few summers ago. Those perforated metal gates were speckled with rust, casting them as more of a bronze than their original silver color. The floor was paved green to contrast the orange banner they wrapped the pitching machine in. Out of the eight batting cages, two were already in use by what looked to be a father-son duo. They stood with the bat ready behind the home base plate, balls whizzing at them to meet either the end of the bat or rattle the cage.

Settling at the other end of where they had chosen to be, we entered through and began picking through the bat holder. They varied between metal and wood, weight and length. I gave a few of them practice swings, deciding to settle on a light aluminum one. Aubrey had chosen similar and was already donning her helmet. It was a size too large but wouldn’t fall off unless she decided to start head-banging in the middle of a swing. She was cute with how it sat slightly tilted, allowing her long bangs to frame her face as she looked around quizzically at everything. Best not to head down that road right now, though.

“Is Nicole coming?”

I shook my head. “She’s busy.”

“That sucks.”

I was starting to feel disheartened with how easily our conversations died. It was going to be difficult enough to bring up Saturday without how awkward we were already being. And without Nicole here was there any point? Plopping my helmet on, I wandered over to the home plate, which inadvertently brought me closer to Aubrey. She steadfastly refused to glance toward me, continuing to take in the place as a whole. Really, there was only so much rusted facility to examine before realizing the place had seen better days. 

That still left me without much idea of how to broach the subject with her. Somehow blurting out ‘I like you’ seemed like it would be the wrong approach. I could already picture the group of Serena, Miss Halsey, and my dad slapping their foreheads with a collective groan. My best bet was to follow my dad’s advice and slowly ease into the topic while highlighting how much I cared about her. 

I placed the tip of the bat on the ground, pressing my palms hard against the cold. Pressing until they turned red, I released a rush of breath that the breeze blew back the coil of vapor in my face. It was now or never. Take the plunge and tell her how I felt. Because I didn’t want a friendship based on lies with her. Because she was who I made a promise to share our secrets.

I just hoped this wouldn’t be the one that was too much to handle.

“Aubrey,” I started, glad to have finally caught her attention, “about the con… I had some time to think and–”

She slammed down her bat just off to the side of the plate. “So do we put the tokens into this meter to get started?”

I felt the breath hitch in my throat, the surge of courage bolting away. Had she purposefully interrupted me? It was obvious she had, yet I wasn’t able to grapple with the reason why. Was she trying to tell me she wasn’t interested? There was a chance I was being an inconsiderate, dense moron by pushing her on this. Then again, when had that stopped me before?

“Listen, Aubrey–”

“No!” Her hoarse voice ripped out across the batting cage, sending tingles down my spine. She flailed her head back and forth wildly; the drop of her hat on the concrete was like the roar of thunder in the silence. “Don’t get my hopes up. Don’t get my hopes up just to dash them.” Red-rimmed eyes stared back at me where she had wiped them on her sleeve. “I-I never wanted this. Never wanted to fall for you. Not when I knew from the start how she felt. So please, if you really do care about me at all, go out with Nicole.”

“I like you. I just…”

“You like her too?”

I nodded dumbly. 

A watery smile drew me away from her bright blue eyes. “You have to choose her. Nothing will have to change then. We can stay like we are now.”

Biting my bottom lip, I took a step closer. I tried not to flinch when she immediately took one in the other direction. “We can’t. Not if you’re like this. That wouldn’t make any of us happy.”

“Then what should we do?”

“We can figure it out. Give me a little more time.”

Her muted laugh broke me. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Tell your dad that I apologize for wasting the voucher. I’m not feeling so hot.”

She pushed through the gate and vanished into the building. The wind howled in mockery, eager to ruffle my clothes and push my already volatile mood. With a snarl, I jammed tokens into the machine, mashing the button jutting out from the top of the meter the entire while. The pitching machine whirled to life, gears grinding together. I stumbled over to the pitch, missing the first pitch with a half-cocked swing that was ill-prepared.

Stupid fuck. Why couldn’t you say something useful?

The arm of the pitching machine rotated three hundred-sixty degrees and lobbed another pitch down the middle. Connecting, the vibrations of the bat transferred to my arm and shook my shoulders. 

Anything?

You didn’t explain a single thing to her. Not a damn thing.

I swung again and again, sending some balls soaring into the various goals littering the net suspended high in the backfield. Others rolled along the ground, but it didn’t matter much. I carried on using the coins meant for two people. My shoulders ached and my arms tingled in protest, yet I carried on. It served as a ridiculous therapy of sorts, allowing me to put my anger, confusion, and resignation out into the world. And then, with a click, the pitching machine fell silent, its arm dangling uselessly behind it. 

I dropped my bat into the holder, the clang of it resonating around with the others. Staggering out, I made my way toward the building. The door creaked as it opened and a blast of hot air warmed the chill on my nose. It was a welcome relief from the wind that had begun to bite at my fingertips. If the owner cared about how I had returned alone, he didn't let it show. In fact, he didn't bother to address me at all, keeping his attention focused on the customer asking him about possible deals.

I made it to the parking lot out front. The sun had sunk lower than when we had arrived, leaving me to fumble with my phone for the time. 4:23. And another text from Nicole that had been sent to myself and Aubrey.

‘Let’s meet up in the club room tomorrow during lunch.’