A lot of girls grew up loving horses. “I want a pony!” and riding lessons and all that shit. I’d never seen the appeal of an animal that could kick me to death in seconds. Never ridden a horse, never wanted to. I prefer cars. Vroom.

So I wasn’t screaming while the mimic held me in place and galloped at full speed, it was more like a high-pitched whine of terror.

The desert around me flashed by. I had no idea how fast— it wasn’t like I had a speedometer. But it was enough that I was glad I was being held on the mimic’s bull back, just behind its wings.

It clattered to a stop and I jerked in place. If I hadn’t had its arms securing me on I’d have been thrown right into its horns. As it was, I lurched forward alarmingly.

The mimic transformed under me, still holding on. It dumped me on the ground next to it and thunked over to a patch of ground that looked recently watered. I looked around and— yep, there was my stave, tucked right under a nearby half-dead bush.

The air to the side of me shimmered gold. A doorway grew, blossoming into existence in a shower of sparks. Beyond it, a stone block wall sparkled in the morning light.

I sat there a minute, heart still pounding, taking in the harsh beauty of the desert landscape and the mountains as a backdrop. The doorway into the dungeon poured golden flecks in falling waves. I’d never seen one look so… magical.

The chest stepped through without looking back.

The damn thing was already eating a giant scorpion when I walked inside, stave in hand. I stayed back and watched as it slurped the curved tail, a stinger as long as my arm still twitching and thrashing wildly as it disappeared.

“I see you’re making up for lost time.” I said, trying to ignore jitters from how huge that monster had been. Also trying to ignore that whole forcibly-carrying-me-to-the-dungeon thing, because I just didn’t want to process that right now.

Instead, I hefted my stave and looked at it critically. With both hands holding it a flame sputtered out of the top, weakly flickering. A long crack ran along the length.

It had maybe… ten good blasts in it? Or twenty seconds of sustained fire, if that was what a fight called for.

“Fuck.” I said. “I really need that arcane wand.”

The mimic ignored me, because of course it did. It continued chewing noisily, unconcerned.

I looked around; this dungeon was the nicest one I’d ever seen. The walls were huge solid blocks of stone that sparkled and shimmered in the torchlight. The torches themselves were smokeless, brighter than they should be for their size.

The room we were in had multiple archways leading off of it, all branching to halls that went in different directions. The ceilings were high, maybe twenty feet tall. Before I could make a decision on where to go, the chest picked a hallway and stomped off down it.

—

Following the mimic had been… educational.

It knew where the enemies were; its steps were too sure, its path was too direct. We weren’t wandering blindly the way I cleared dungeons. This thing was methodical and targeted about how it hunted. It could sense its prey.

That… I didn’t want to think too hard about that. It made my stomach swoop with stress when I did.

It stomped along in front of me on its chonky legs, leading. I followed behind, cracked stave in-hand. It wasn’t like I was going to be doing much casting with the mimic out in front, but it never hurt to be prepared.

The chest turned a corner in front of me and let out a roar in challenge.

A scream answered, grating and strange. It hurt my ears.

I came around the corner, listening to the sounds of fighting. I stopped at the sight; there was a giant wolf spider trying to impale the chest on its fangs.

Or, I mean, it could’ve been a trapdoor spider? Or maybe some other hunting spider, I dunno. It was big, larger than a minivan. There was a white blob high on its back, behind its head.

Its two biggest eyes focused in on me. It swept one of its legs forward and smacked the mimic so hard it went spinning past me a good thirty feet.

The spider rushed me, legs blurring with its speed. I hefted my stave and let out a torrent of fire right at its fangs.

I felt pretty damn badass. Here I was trying not to piss myself in fear while I fought an arachnid larger than a F-350 with truck nuts. Go me.

I felt less badass when the fire cleared and the spider bared its fangs, showing no damage whatsoever from my attack.

It screamed again. My head throbbed from the sound, my ears aching and ringing. It shot forward and down towards me, trying to impale my stomach.

I ducked, hoping to God I was low enough to the ground to roll under it. Then the spider screamed again, this time in pain.

The mimic had its lid open, half of the spider’s face in its mouth. I watched from underneath the spider’s belly— (thorax? Was that the word?)— as it snapped off the spider’s head and swallowed.

The monster fell, body sloping to the side. My eyes widened as it came down partially on top of me. I scrambled away just as it crashed to the ground, yanking my boot out of the way of its corpse.

Yeah! Mimic saving my ass again! Still, it was pretty cool to see a giant spider d—

The sac on its back split open. Thousands of spiders the size of labradors spilled out, shivering as they uncurled their legs from their bodies. I was swarmed immediately.

I blasted a gout of fire straight up from my stave, screaming like a little kid having a nightmare. The first ten or so spiders to reach me roasted into charcoal. Unfortunately there were way more than ten ravenous baby spiders around.

Pincers came down on my arm. I reacted on instinct before they could close, punching up and splattering an eyeball. The baby screeched as its siblings changed targets and ripped chunks out of it, eating it alive.

Gross. Also, Hardcore.

I turned my stave and shot fire again, roasting the ball of limbs and fangs as they cannibalized their fellow spiderling. The wood shuddered under my hands and cracked apart, flame guttering out.

Fuck.

Something hit me in the back and fell to the ground.

I crouched down and felt blindly behind me, unwilling to take my eyes off the mass of spiders. Now that I had attacked them twice, many chose to eat their dead mother or munch on the crunchy blackened remains of their littermates. I wasn’t willing to bet that was going to last, though. I was squishy meat without a weapon; just too tempting a target.

My hand hit a familiar handle on the floor. I grabbed it and stood back up, backing towards the dungeon wall. I pulled it in front of me, full of hope.

I flicked my eyes down and— yeah. The wand. I was holding the same arcane wand the mimic had given me before. I recognized the pattern on its handle.

I flung it forward towards the densest patch of spiders. Time to melt these little fuckers!