"That's it?" She giggled. “I didn’t expect it to be so simple! I figured you’d ask a lot of questions, weigh the pros and cons and debate whether or not it was a good choice.”

Ugh. She thought that about me? I must have been a really bad friend.

I took a deep breath. “I have already looked into it, I know the subject. It has been shown that the transgendered are less at risk if they are accepted by those around them. Supporting you is the most rational course of action.” That was true, but I felt like I couldn't really say what I wanted to say.

“You really have a weird way of showing you care.” She laughed. “You’re a good guy, thank you.” 

Good guy, me? I don't know why but this idea didn't make me feel comfortable. No, I couldn't be a good guy.

I let out a little laugh. “Y-you're welcome... I guess.”

I turned towards... who actually? “Have you chosen a new name yet?”

“Gwen is already gender-neutral. Fun fact, my parents chose this name in case I was trans. They were bang on.” She had a wide smile. “But I think I might add a second N, to mark the occasion!” Her voice was different, much more melodious, lighter.

“Nice to meet you, my dear Gwenn.” I offered her a handshake.

"Thanks dude. It’s a pleasure." I winced but Gwenn took my hand and welcomed me in a little hug. 

I was really happy for her.

"So!" Gwenn pulled back and then looked at me with fire in her eyes, pointing a finger at my chest. “It doesn’t change anything in our discussions, does it? I hope I can continue to debate with you about anything and everything! And... And I know you." She smirked. "I know that you’ll want to talk gender with me and explore these questions to understand better. So I'm giving you a pass to ask me all the questions you want. But try to do a bit of research before saying anything stupid!”

I let out a little sigh. “Yeah… You know me, I’m… curious. I want to understand this subject better and I promise I will do my research! I feel like I've covered the topic, but there's nothing stopping me from deepening my knowledge.”

“Yes… I think you still have room for improvement.” She teased me.

Oh? "Like what?"

“Earlier you said ‘the transgendered’, it’s a wording that I often hear from people who... want to paint a very particular picture, let's just say. I’ve heard people say ‘transgender people’, or just ‘trans people’. You know, so as not to dehumanize and all?”

Ouch, right on. Maybe I was a little too confident. "Oh..."

“Don’t worry, I know you’re all theory, not much practice, I don’t hold it against you.” She smiled. “Well on another note, you have to build me a potion factory, I have to go fight the dragon and I can't do that without regen! Come on. Let's do that! Get to work, tech-guy!”

“Y-yes, at once, princess!” I retorted to her. I took out my laptop while she sat down at her desk to turn on her PC.

Gwenn turned to me as Windows was loading. "You know what? Good idea that!”

"What?"

“Wait, you’ll see, I’m doing something then I’ll open the LAN. Go to spawn.” She had already turned back to her screen. When Gwen is focused, she has a tendency to bite her tongue lightly in the corner of her mouth. Very cute. “Here, try it now?”

I came back to my senses. “Yes. I’m connected, I’m coming.”

Gwenn was there, she had changed her Minecraft skin. She always had skins full of details, with lots of pastel colors and pretty soft eyes. But they were all still quite androgynous. But that day, she decided to put on a princess skin. I bunny hopped towards her. “Oh I see. It suits you really well. Good pick!"

“Thank you tech-guy! You should change your skin too one of these days. It’s a lot more fun than you think.”

I suspected it was indeed more fun than I previously thought. But I was fine with the default skin, no frills, no choices to make. Although I still played Alex, because I have similar hair and... And the hitbox is smaller… I think? I should check that. “Maybe one day... But now you need a potion factory and I have the design you need!”

We played for a few more hours, and I had dinner at Gwenn's. Her parents are really nice, it’s always a pleasure to eat there. They accepted Gwenn without any problem. Not so surprising given that they had laid the foundations with the name thing. I would have liked my parents to do the same, it’s just so convenient and clever. I wondered what name they would have chosen if I had been born a girl?

And with that weird thought, I left Gwenn's house after giving her one last hug. I had to feed my cat, my mums were not at home that evening, they had gone to the cinema to see a movie with an odd name about bombs or dolls or maybe both.

What a day! I had never felt so many emotions in such a short amount of time. It's unusual. I had already supported a few acquaintances through all kinds of coming out. But this one was...  much more intense for me… I was not sure why.

Probably because Gwenn was a very good friend!

I really hope I didn't say anything stupid. I’d better take Gwenn's advice and do some more research, I thought. I sat down on my bed. I took out my laptop and opened a browser.

‘What are trans people?’

So far, I knew all that. My parents told me about the general gist. People who do not identify with their gender assigned at birth and as a result, decide to change things in their presentation, their bodies, to get rid of their discomfort. It’s very neat, I really like the idea of being able to customize your body.

‘Why are trans people trans?’

That was something I didn't know. I had some preconceptions, but those were probably surely biased!

I roamed trough videos and forum posts. It was really a mine field, there was so much contradicting theories.

There were no satisfactory answers. Then I found a bunch of sites with lots of transphobic people swimming in pseudoscience and fallacious reasoning. Not to say that science had an elegant answer either. The Wikipedia page offered biological and genetic explanations but nothing conclusive. And given the discussion page, it seemed that there was no scientific consensus.

So I thought again about taking a little step back. This page is filled with biological hypotheses but there's not a lot about the social aspect of things, this is a gross oversight! I can't make an opinion if the science is incomplete!

I couldn't stop there. I hate not having an answer. Even if it was a fully social phenomenon or a mix between nature and nurture, I needed to understand the mechanism! Else what? Could anyone be trans?

That was... A shiver went down my spine.

I pushed that idea out of my head. It was already 2 a.m., that was unreasonable and way out of my usual schedule. I laid down and tried to sleep.