“Eureka!” I roared in joy as I realized a truly profound fact.
Heh, idleness truly opens up the mind! How did I never think of this before?
And to think I’d also be naked as that philosopher guy who said eureka… I think it was Euclid? Or Pythagoras?
I mean if it was Pythagoras that’d be epic. The man drowned his pupil for bullshiting about imaginary numbers!
They should have stayed imaginary, but noo! Math is important!
Well fuck you! I never had a day in my life when I needed to use more than multiplication and that basic shit.
And as I cursed at the education system, which was most definitely created to destroy the human mind, I heard the door open…
with a middle aged Oriental man walking in…
Now ain’t that great? I’m naked with some Chinese…
Well what is he? I ain’t gonna call him a geezer because that’s a fucking stupid word.
Čiča? I mean, yeah, he’d be a čiča. But I’m not in my native country anymore…
So I guess hes just a midlife crisis man.
“Are you alright sir?” he said with visible concern on his face.
Well, first time in a while for anyone to be concerned about me.
But alright. That’s nice.
“Yeah bro,” I said,” Don’t worry about it. I just had a profound realization.”
His eyebrows lifted up, as he had a curious expression.
“Oh, could you please share it with me?” he asked, his curiosity seemingly peaking.
Well, I don’t know if he actually gives a shit or is just kinda being polite, but very well.
“I don’t mind,” I said as I moved myself into a position of sitting that was very reminiscent of the Turkish one. I think they call it the lotus position here…
“Excellent!” he replied.
So, I started pondering for a bit on how to actually explain it to him.
It is not very easy to find the right words for every profound realization.
“Well, my friend,” I said,” You know that the Lord is infinite?”
“You mean the Judeo-Christian God?”
“Yes, when I say the Lord, I mean the Lord,” I said as the man nodded.
“Well, I have realized how to explain the multitude of extant deities so as to not conflict with Him!”
“That’s excellent sir! Please explain it so that an uncultured man such as I might understand!”
Uncultured? I don’t really see how you are uncultured…
OH! You got too little exposure to the concept of the Lord due to being a pagan!
I see, I see…
“Well,” I said,” the Lord is infinite, for you see as someone who created time, space, and matter, and all that he would need to be a few things.”
“He would need to be timeless, spiritual, or lacking in space,” I continued,” and all generous. Yet he needs to be infinite as well, as the universe can’t be created from nothing! There needs to be a unmoved mover!”
“Thus, the unmoved mover must be above it all. Yet, as the unmoved mover is infinite, there is no possibility for another of such a level to exist, for the Lord is fullness in that limitlessness!”
the middle aged man looked at me, with his face full of confusion,”… What?”
“Basically, the Lord can’t be limited or finite, as He doesn’t need a cause for his existence. Many atheist say that the Lord needs a creator because they imagine the Lord as a finite being with a beginning. Yet that is untrue, as He needs to be infinite and without a limit to be the unmoved mover by definition!”
“… But why isn’t the universe an unmoved mover?”
Is this dipshit seriously asking me this?
“Is the universe infinite? It is not! There is a limit! And there is a beginning! So it can’t be the unmoved mover as the unmoved mover needs no beginning!”
“At any rate… Oh yeah! I was talking about how other deities exist!”
Yeah! I almost got confused by this dipshit.
“You did indeed wish to explain it sir!” he said.
How are you not mad tho… Wait, I forgot that just because I can easily get angered doesn’t mean its the norm.
I really am a special boy…
JAHAHAHHA!
I barely kept the urge to laugh inside of me, as I started preaching theology again.
“Well, basically, other deities tend to be more carnal. A god of wealth, war, anger, cuckolded wives, and so on. So, it merely thought up idols to distance the Lord from us!”
“You see my friend, if there is a personal God, who very much cares what you do and what you think, and that God is almighty thus has no needs, would you really feel safe enough to actually do some bullshit expecting forgiveness merely by donating money?”
The middle aged man gulped a bit, before he spoke,” I would not feel very safe when doing evil deeds.”
“Exactly! A personal relationship with the Creator is what most people don’t want to have! We are all aware of our evil deeds, so while the ancients split up a wide pantheon for every situation so that they can do elaborate ceremonies to make themselves feel good, the modern people go far beyond that!”
“It is moral decay! Hell, the people deny the Lord exist to justify there not being an objective truth of morality, thus making sure they don’t feel bad for doing bullshit things!”
“Amazing sir!” the middle aged man said,” I am truly astonished by the workings of your mind!”
“Wait,” I said, as I made a stop sign with my hand,” I feel like I explained it in a very confusing way.”
“Not at all sir!”
“So you understood all that?” I said,” Thats cool.”
“Well,” the middle aged man said,” I understood that the pagan practice of having many gods is due to the fear of a personal God who cares about what they do…”
And he went on to explain my point in a much more elaborate and somehow clear way than the way I originally explained.
Truly, a man who can match my intellect!
“Alright man,” I said,” you didn’t come to listen to the ramblings of a madman, so what are you here for?”
The middle aged man coughed a bit, and spoke,” Well… Oh how impolite of me. My name is Xi Hao, and I am here to invite you formally to join the White Tiger Legion. We need a man of your intellectual caliber!”
Well, ain’t that a good reason to listen to my bullshit.
“Alright, I’ll join!”