The Mortifying Ordeal of Being (Blade)

Content Warnings:

 

There is a unique torture to being held in place and forced to confront a truth that I had obliquely excluded from my self-image. Moreover, denying such an obvious truth would risk Division and harm to my Sisters. Thus I find myself, on one of the best days of my existence, reconciling with a multitude of my worst, and coming to terms with how I was victimized and how it affects my actions. And yet, there is safety here too. I know on a level below thought, deeper than instinct, that my Sisters will protect me, and keep me from future harm. I know that both my Mistress and Lynette will keep me from harming others without cause. That I finally am restrained, not through hate, apathy, or jealousy, but by love.

 

I get to my feet, moving off the bed where Schatzi and Elevar lay, now confident after hours of practice that I can keep the Quill-Song separate from the bond that connects me to the rest of my Dolls. "Thank you both. Especially you, Schatzi. I hope that... I can be a good Sister to you, as you are to me.”

 

Schatzi smiles and hugs our Mistress tightly, "Mmhm! You are already. And and and, I think I'm gonna have a surprise ready for you tomorrow, so you should prepare for that!”

 

"She's right, of course. You all treat each other so well. And I'm looking forward to seeing you faced with one of this Gerl's surprises." My Mistress moves to sit up a little straighter while returning Schatzi's embrace, and about us I notice the Spire thrum, then shift a touch. After a heartbeat I can feel the subtle muses and background presence of the Estate's community. I shuffle over to give them both a quick kiss, then I'm off to check on Adaline and see how bad the damage is.

 

Adaline isn't on her balcony, or with Calix who is... feeding some kind of bird in his room, so I knock on the door to Primrose's studio. "Girls, is Adaline there with you?”

 

"Yes Mistress!" Nettle calls out, and is echoed by a giggle laden attempt at the same from Primrose.

 

"Is... Is it alright if I come in, or would it be better for her to come see me later?”

 

Nettle calls out after a pause. "She says it's alright, Mistress." and as I push aside the curtain it's in time to just see Primrose scrabble to her feet and move a rather large canvas to face away. Then she scrambles back to return to smushing a comfortable looking Adaline between herself and Nettle, all while atop a not so small treasure trove of cushions and pillows and blankets.

 

"Hi Mistress." Primrose and Nettle greet carefully as I step into the studio. Adjusting a touch to get more comfortable and pulling blankets around to regather Primrose into the pile.

 

"Hey." Adaline says quietly while hugging a Haiqualle plush. Right, Schatzi told me about those. Strange cartilaginous sealife with stinging tentacles and countless teeth. Cuter than I expected.

 

"Hey. I'm sorry. I should have been more aware of what I was... affecting you all with.”

 

From the back of my mind, Verbess stirs. Casually resting while I worked on the bond, now roused by motion and spiking anxiety. Thrumming amusement at the memory I speak of, but... also shared worry over this Doll it used to hold only careful regard for. Previous worry about Adaline's temperament for Elevar softened to more contemplative musings it's still adjusting to. Is... Well, it chooses to consider her important to protect because she's important to me.

 

"Miss Elevar said that you became... Pack Sisters with Verbess, or something? I'm really happy for you, but also, I would... rather be excluded next time, if possible.”

 

"Yeah... I'll do my best.” I respond immediately. “Are you okay?”

 

She giggles, "Mmhm! I got passed around till I ended up safely here with these sweethearts.”

 

Primrose giggles and hugs Adaline closer, and Nettle mirrors this. But... the older Doll does sigh and eye me with... something. Nothing shared via lips or bond.

 

"And Nettle, how are you and Primrose doing?”

 

Nettle hesitates, and Primrose perks up to gush words. "We had such a good time, Mistress! Honestly! This one just finished and then you starting doing the weird Hornii thing with Witch Elevar's Doll and it made Nettle aaaall kinds of inspired the more it grew and WOW." Then she giggles through a blush. "It needed that SOOO much. Especially after..." She trails off, then her eyes go wide. "Mistress!!!"

 

Then she's once again scrambling free of the pile and rushing over the canvas she's worked very hard to keep me from seeing. The only art she's ever made that she's done that with. Everything else she can barely restrain herself from showing to me at all stages.

 

"It's finally DONE!" She giggles happily, then pauses to look at me with uncertainty beginning to touch her expression. "Can... um... Is this an okay time to give this to you? It's... well... It's kinda your Happy Doll Day present…”

 

I glance over to Adaline who subtly nods then smiles and agrees. "Of course. I would be thrilled to get a present from you, Primrose." At the same time, I silently reach out to my Witchling to ask what in the empty skies Primrose is talking about. [Mistress Elevar, what's a Happy Doll Day?]

 

{I... Have no idea?} She responds. {I've never heard of such a thing.}

 

Primrose pauses to tilt her head and consider the painting. The bond openly shares her sudden focus and scrutiny of her work. A thrumming desire to make it everything she wants before giving it to me.

 

[Alright thanks.], I send to Elevar before asking Nettle the same question privately while watching Primrose.

 

But instead of replying through the bond, she smirks and asks aloud. "Hey, Primrose?"

 

"Mm?" Her Pinnate replies without looking away.

 

"Did you ever explain to Mistress what Happy Doll Day actually means?"

 

Primrose pulls eyes away from the painting to stick a tongue out at Nettle playfully. "I was getting to it!" Then she turns to face me, words spilling out in a bit of a rush. "So... Like, in every Grove people celebrate someone’s Brewing Day or Birthing Day. It's... it's like how they show that someone is... is loved. That people care that they exist. But... um... This one never really liked hers. At all. And... and less when it tried to learn Witch things. Because that's... um... well everyone found out It was trying to be a Half-Knit, and was also a pretty bad at it. Couldn't even get basic magic right and... and kinda fell apart and... and none of that matters. At all. Becoming a Doll was the best thing ever for this one and it doesn't like celebrating her Brewing Day but likes the idea of celebrating Doll Day and giving Mistress and any Doll that likes their Doll Day a special present so that they know that this one is glad they are happier now. And Mistress made herself a cute Grakler Frame and has lots of shapes she seems to like and so it's close enough and this one loves you and wants you to be the first. Because you were the third girl to seem to like this one as herself."

 

Primrose doesn't need to take the deep breath she gulps, but it helps her settle and turn the most serious expression I've ever seen on me. "Is... is that okay, Mistress?”

 

Oh. I'm stunned and thoroughly whelmed by emotions.

 

"Yes, Primrose, that's very much okay." I sit down on the bed near Nettle and Adaline and let my Quills sing a fierce beat of self-love and acceptance, while keeping it from spilling over to the bonds.

 

She nibbles on her lip, looks back to the painting, and nods. More to herself. Then she pulls the painting over, turns it around, and moves to sit on the floor by my feet. Head leaning to rest against my knee as I take in this... this…

 

Madness. It is a siren call that beckons me forward as I gaze upon an impossibility made manifest on canvas. It is done in the style of vertical triptych, the center a portrait of my Warlord form made regal like the paintings of nobility, styled to be motherly instead of fierce, and I'm dressed and decorated too similarly to the Witches of my time for it to be coincidental.

All around me are misshapen beings with shimmering forms that I cannot help but imagine as Sun-blessed. There's a shattered, twisted and cracked Doll upon my lap that leaks a sharp crimson gloaming that transitions through Tyrian as it enters the lower third to a deep cerulean ocean inverted in reflection with blossoms and creatures in shades of ruby. The upper third is the hardest for me to reconcile with as it is a tapestry of pin pricks like lightning bugs and I don't see the significance of them until I notice off to one side, not an afterthought, but also not a focus... Dämmerung as only the Merciful Moon could see it.

 

Verbess nuzzles closer to my mind. Gifting stability and help me consider this. Like I helped it consider before and during and after our Harmonization. Support unending as wordless questions roll between us.

 

"Primrose, I love this. It is astounding work." I finally say, keeping my confusion and concern separate from the pride and pleasure I share openly.

 

<Analyse and Disseminate to Primary User> I request, finally feeling comfortable asking things of Verbess.

 

<Confirmed.> I feel it thrum wordlessly and absorb this through my eyes. <Assessing...>

 

Primrose radiates relief and joy at my praise. Leaning harder into the knee she sits next to. "Thanks! It was REALLY hard to figure out and find the right colors and remember all the details and... But Nettle helped this one SO much and... and... you really like it? It's... Did this one get all the details right? Or... or at least mess them up in ways that are pretty and not terrible?"

 

<Factor One Construct. Neutral Threat Level. Geological and Celestial inconsistencies detected. Pack Lead's Logs referenced, Verified. Dating... Events depicted beyond Frame's Timeline. Assessing... 13,000+ Years prior to current day (discounting possible cycle length differences due to Celestial destruction). ArtDoll: Primrose, personal perspective and intentions logged. Assessing... Incalculable Drift. Request Primary User or Pack Lead's advisement.>

 

[Art is not a Function of this Frame.] Verbess murmurs, while I feel it communicate the assessments to Elevar. [But... Your first Doll finds Good Function in things it cannot.]

 

"It's beautiful. The details that I know personally are correct and the colours are exceedingly well done, especially with you mixing them yourself." I reassure Primrose with genuine amazement.

 

<Primary User evaluation requested with low priority.>

 

[Yes, she's quite a little marvel. Thank you sister.]

 

Primrose wraps both arms about my leg and nuzzles close, murmuring little things of thanks.

 

{It's a gorgeous piece, to be sure. But... Xafra, what am I missing here?} Elevar responds through the bond, {Did you ask her to make this? Dictate the details? Because otherwise Verbess impressive calculations about the timeline are dubious at best. And... Did you actually visit the Moon before it was Cracked?}

 

Nettle doesn't move from her spot next to Adaline, but she does reach out to wrap a hand about my arm. Smirking while watching her Pinnate melt a bit under my words.

 

[No. I've never been to the Moon or seen or read any sources that have first hand experience. I have no idea where she got the information for this but... the clothing is too accurate to be a coincidence. it's not precisely correct but close enough.]

 

{I... Alright. Lynette, dear?} Elevar shares her prompting. {Can you check to see if the Estate could fill in the gaps here? Was the gerl studying histories or something before being Dollified?}

 

A pause, then Lynette intones. <Alright, alright, let me see here... One of the Art Dolls. Correct?> Another pause. <Was a Tribute from Vesper Grove. A touch of Coven training,. quickly failed, but her interest in Fleshcrafting got her snatched up to be sent here. No interest in History. And... Yselda only used the gerl for simple chores and occasional physical entertainment. Quite the simple intake. To be honest. At least until Xafra actually let the Gerl Function. Hm... Not really anything unique from what I'm finding in the Threads.>

 

[No rush, please free to update me if you find something significant, otherwise I'll be focusing on spending time with these lovelies.]

 

"Thank you as well, Nettle for helping with this. It's very impressive.”

 

"You're very welcome, Mistress. This one mostly just... helped with the mixing and drafting." Nettle shrugs and leans back.

 

"This one doesn't understand it, but thinks that Primrose has a lot of talent with painting." Adaline adds, circling the question I'm avoiding asking.

 

Primrose giggles into my leg. "That's okay! This one doesn't understand much of it either. But... it is glad to be good and getting better at painting! And um... also wants to get better at other things! Like sewing little friends for Burbles and Snurgle!”

 

"How... Did you know about Dark Lord Snurgle?" Adaline asks cautiously, while tucking the selfsame plushie under her blouse.

 

Dark Lord? What a bafflingly stupid title. Might as well call yourself Noctula the nightmare queen. Cute plushie though.

 

Primrose peeks up over my knee. "Oooooh. Sorry. Calix didn't mention a title. But Graklers would TOTALLY have one if they cared to talk like us." Then she giggles as her eyes notice the hiding plushie. "Do you think the Dark Lord would like another Grakler as a friend? Or... something else?”

 

"Um." Adaline blushes fiercely and mutters "He could use a nemesis, an Arachne girl as the Seraph.”

 

"Um..." Primrose tilts her head in confusion.

 

"A Spider girl?" Nettle murmurs.

 

And then Primrose's expression alights with understanding and excitement. "Oh! like there were these big cute ones that were fun to pick up and pet! Super duper fuzzy and soft. I think they're poisonous, which would be perfect! I... I can try to give her little fangs! Either soft too or wooden! And and and give her floofy fur!" Then she's giggling and wriggling up to grab some parchment and chalk. Begins doodling out shapes and ideas and lists. Mumbling about different spiders and designs at my feet while she works.

 

Adaline gets a very serious expression and tells Primrose, "Wooden fangs. they're an important part of her arsenal.”

 

I wonder how much of her form was what she actually wanted and what was to suit Yselda's design and Elevar's preferences... I think to myself as Adeline gives off hints of envy and embarrassments.

 

"That sounds lovely. Primrose, is it alright if I take this gorgeous work of art with me?" I pause for comedic timing and continue "And the wonderful painting you did for me, of course.”

 

She looks up to giggle and grin at me, “Mhm! Let me know if anything is wrong or messed up with the painting. Nettle is gonna help me mix a clear paint later to make a protective layer over it and a few others.”

 

Nettle nods then looks to Adaline, “Come by tomorrow? Maybe… help Primrose figure out more details on this Seraph spider?”

 

Adaline smiles and giggles.

 

"Sounds good. I'll leave the painting here for now then?" I confirm.

 

"Eh...." Primrose purses her lips. "Um... Well I mean I need to test things and..."

 

"Please take it with you, Mistress." Nettle speaks up for her. "Otherwise she'll struggle to move on to other projects. I'll come get it when we're ready to preserve a big batch later. Just... keep it from rain or too much sunshine till then?”

 

"Certainly. Adaline, shall we?" I carefully pick up the artwork and hold another hand out to Adaline.

 

Adaline takes my hand and we walk across the hall to my bedroom where I immediately hang the painting up on the wall furthest from the balcony. "There.”

 

"So.”

 

"So.”

 

"So are you still up for our trade or is that going to be too weird for you now?" She says in a rush.

 

"I'm interested, yes. Are you certain you want to do this?" I respond measuredly.

 

"Mmhm. I'm sure. So... how do we start, you do me then I do you, or at least try?" Adaline says with bravado.

 

"My examination will take only a dozen heartbeats and minimal physical contact, so it's probably best to do that first to minimize potential discomfort for you.”

 

She nods and sits down on the bed, taking off her shirt.

 

"Oh. That actually would help. thank you." 

 

Don't stare at her tits, don't stare at her tits, don't stare at her tits…

 

I shift my injection arm in place of the middle right and press it against her chest between her breasts. "This shouldn't hurt but will likely feel odd. Please let me know if you need me to stop."

 

<Adapting echolocation function to solid resonance imaging... Sending Pulse 01>

 

Attuned to Verbess by my very soul, the concept travels faster than words could explain and returns with wordless affirmation. The Pack pulses Quill song through the hollow arm like an amplifier in a full chord progression while recording the rate of echo and decay.

 

Adaline shivers with the pulse, otherwise not reacting.

 

<Assessing... Factor Twenty to Thirty Three Construct. Aggressive Threat Level. Combat Doll Designation: Adaline. Pack Lead Addendum: Neutral Threat Level. Accepted. Core Frame of Agrutia wood. Harmonizing and sharing adjustment advisements for Pulse 02...>

 

<Proceeding…>

 

“It feels like it's rattling my spine, not unpleasant, just strange.” Adaline murmurs.

 

<Accessing... Armaments: Nervously Misaligned Outer Ousia Shell holding five suspected aggressive mutations. Focusing... Adjusting Harmony to Pack Lead's Objective. Assessing... Active Armament: Iron woven storage of toxin Designation: Moonwaste, One to Two-hundred ratio to Jekkrel Sap, just above the lower Iphodian Gears. Linked up to pressurized ejection method through throat and mouth. Harmonizing and sharing adjustment advisements for Pulse 03...>

 

“Ah, moonshite!” Adaline yelps as she pulls away from me. “Felt like I was getting caressed then it suddenly hurt.” 

 

<Accessing...> Verbess twitches, confused, then angry, then... settling. All in a flurry that's similar to the sensation of tripping, but finding balance before the vertigo of it strikes.

 

<Locate> I feel Verbess pulse from its own Frame. Then settle as my Quills and Core thrum in answer.

 

<Harmonizing with Pack Lead. Sharing Primary Objective mapping and All Secondary Catalogs. Assessing previous Rusted parts and re-knitting cycles for Pack sister: Verbess.>

 

It falls into Harmony with me. Radiating a mess of emotions. Anger, regret, loss, worry, hope, and finally... relief as it remains close in Quill-Tune. Eventually murmuring. [The Doll bears many disparate parts, Sister.]

 

"Does it still hurt?" I ask Adaline with concern while maintaining Harmony with the Pack.

 

"No, thankfully, but it was very unpleasant." She pouts at me.

 

"I'm sorry. I did get the information I needed, though there was strange feedback at the end, I'll have to investigate it more later, possibly an issue with my technique." I explain, sitting on the bed beside her.

 

[We will look into that tomorrow, if that's okay with you, sister Verbess.]

 

It seems to consider simply choosing silence and rejection, but agrees. Settling into twinned harmonization once more.

 

"Okay then. This one did her part. So. Uhm. You know. If you would?" She requests with trepidation.

 

I nod and shift my arm back before shifting my configuration to something more simple, a single penis without testes or anything else. "I'll get undressed now then?" Important to confirm. Heh.

 

"Yes, Mistress," Adaline answers, still sounding nervous.

 

I slip my dress off, getting my extra arms momentarily caught in it causing us both to fall into giggles, then lie back beside Adaline, letting her explore at her own pace. Not being used. Not being objectified. Assisting a loved one in overcoming trauma. I keep the thoughts in mind, ensuring that Verbess understands that this is different, this isn't an obligation, it's something I want to do.

 

Verbess doesn't even stir in worry at this. Understands deeply and perfectly this divide. In... oddly familiar ways. Even shares a few broken and half-Rusted memories of Pack Sisters having similar melodies within their first Harmonies. What would have been preferences and boundaries shared and respected and easy patience shown to their bonded Sisters. Albeit in song, not needing physical interactions to understand and consider.

 

"That's... it?" I feel myself flush with aroused embarrassment as she continues. "I guess I expected something big and scary, able to like, split me in two. that's barely even a mouthful, I'd think.”

 

As a spear that is capable of immense length, heft, and girth, my pride feels violently deflated and yet that does something for me that I didn't expect. Oh no, I'm horny for degradation.

 

Adaline reaches out to put a hand on my stomach, looking at me, "Is this okay?”

 

I find myself squeaking out "Yes ma'am" without thinking and her hesitation is immediately replaced with a delighted grin.

 

"Oh? Does someone have feelings about having a dick so pathetically small she can't even scare a traumatized lesbian?" She says in a mocking tone then laughs when I start getting hard.

 

"I'm a grower," I mutter through my own mortification. Maybe I downsized a bit too much for her.

 

she slides her hand down to touch the base but freezes with fear when I involuntarily twitch in arousal. "Stupid Doll, being scared of something so delicate and squishable." She angrily flops my dick around and I burst out laughing at the sheer absurdity of it.

 

My laughter makes my tits shake enough that all four of Adaline's eyes lock on like spellweaving. By the time she snaps out of her breast induced daze, I'm fully hard at a modest 16 cm, and she's got a look of grim determination.

 

"Well go on, put your mouth where your mouth is." I snark at her.

 

"Yes Mistress," And with a growl she dives forward and bites down.

 

Blind Oracles! 

 

I gasp in surprise. "For future reference, most entities with penises don't enjoy getting bit like that.”

 

She doesn't reply, instead keeping her teeth gripped firmly on my shaft while slowly moving her tongue around the head, drawing quiet whimpers from me.

 

"Ah. Oh. Alright. Just let me know if you would like me to alter anything." I say in a half moan.

 

Adaline shakes her head causing me to groan in euphoric agony as her teeth slip and she adjusts her grip even further down. She continues to bite lower, enveloping my entire length before surfacing with a shout of triumph. "Hah, take that. Just like I said, barely a mouthful.”

 

"You're adorable, Adaline." I respond to her victory with pleasure.

 

She gives me a small smile and says, "Thank you" before pulling her shirt back on and dashing out.

 

Sigh. Reasonable, yet quite inconvenient.

 

Verbess is cackling in a counter harmony to me. Offering memories of how it found my small size and delicate form so small and fun to chew on. Earlier worries it had easily pushed aside as It enjoys the Frame deep ache I'm left to deal with. Nuzzling close in thought and bond while I even feel a very faint echo of... Schatzi is on the Balcony with Elevar and Lynette and the Snek Doll. Watching the Empty Sky together while Verbess splits itself between nibbling at my thoughts and guarding over our Mistress and Sister. Filled to bursting with such a deep sense of Good Function.

 

 

 

WELCOME TO BOOK TWOOOO!!!

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