Hikaru laughed as they walked to the bus stop. Ryuske smiled at her. Hikaru took a deep breath and asked suddenly, "Do you love me?"

"Yes," he answered without looking at her.

"I mean love, love?" Hikaru asked, watching him.

"Yes," he said again. But he looked away from her.

"I'm sorry," Hikaru said unhappily.

"Don't be," he said and took her hand.

"But," she started to say.

"Hikaru," he interrupted, "I love you, but I love Aisha more. That's why I never said anything."

"He's dead," Hikaru replied. Ryuske swallowed and she apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"I know," Ryuske told her and squeezed her hand.

"I don't love you like I love Kiri," Hikaru said.

"I know," he replied again. "And this will sound really stupid and cliché, but if you're happy, I'm happy," he told her while looking into her eyes.

"Really?" she asked uncertainly.

"Yes," he answered calmly, and raised a hand to touch her cheek.

"I'm really happy with Kiri," she told him.

He smiled at her and said, "Then you can have him. I'm sorry I got so upset. I was just afraid he'd been using you. Or that I'd lose you."

"He wouldn't do that! And I love you, just not like that, you won't lose me." Hikaru protested.

Ryuske nodded and said, "That's enough for me."

Hikaru sighed and he squeezed her hand again and told her firmly, "I mean it."

"I don't want you to be lonely, you never date like Rin," Hikaru complained.

"I've tried dating," he said uncomfortably. "I didn't really like it. Maybe I'm a little broken. Both of my loves have been unrequited," he pointed out with a wry smile.

Hikaru looked at him unhappily and said, "Sorry."

Ryuske sighed and told her, "Don't be, I'm not unhappy this way. I don't have that need for it that everyone else seems to. I need music like that. Even when I said I wasn't going to play again, I was learning and teaching music."

Hikaru clung to his hand and said, "Rin told me everyone needs something different from love."

Ryuske looked at her in surprise and nodded. "Yes."

"OK," she said.

Ryuske smiled at her and she smiled back.

They rode the bus downtown and Ryuske hugged her before walking off. "Thank you," he told her.

"Why?" Hikaru asked.

"Do you remember how we met?" he asked.

"Yes of course?" she replied.

He grinned and asked, "And the first line of the song you played for me?"

"I'm just a bachelor, looking for a partner," she sang lightly.

He nodded. "That's when I knew," he said quietly. "Thanks for being my partner. Making music together is all I need."

"OK," she replied.

"See you," he said with a grin.

"See you," she returned, and he walked off. She waited for the bus home and wondered if she should tell Kiri.

--

When she got home, the house felt empty. Tokiko was gone, but she'd left instructions on how to finish the dinner she'd prepared. Hikaru smiled in amusement at the thought that Kiri got not only his pretty looks but his enjoyment in feeding her from his mother. 

She sighed. She missed him like crazy, but if he liked to travel, she didn't want him to quit doing it for her. But she really wished she could hug him and sleep beside him.

'Are you busy?' she messaged.

'Yeah, but if you're free, I'll call in awhile," he replied almost instantly.

'Just homework left tonight. Please call, I miss you,' she sent back.

'I will, love you,' he sent.

'Love you too,' she finished.

She stored the food for tomorrow and worked on her homework. When Kiri called it was a video call. Hikaru almost dropped the phone in surprise.

Kiri laughed, and said with a grin, "So cute."

Hikaru blushed and replied, "I wasn't expecting a video call."

Kiri grinned and suggested teasingly, "Too bad I caught you with all your clothes on?"

Hikaru stared at him in shock.

"Joking?" he suggested lightly.

"I guess I could take off clothes if you really wanted," she said, looking away from her phone.

"I love you, and someday when you think that would be fun, hell yes, but right now, no Hikaru," he told her firmly.

She looked back and he smiled at her. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. "How is everything going?"

"Ryuske loves me," she blurted out.

Kiri's smile vanished and he replied, "I know."

Hikaru gaped at him and asked, "How did you know? I didn't know until today."

Kiri raised an eyebrow at her and told her, "It seemed kind of obvious, especially with the new song."

"Oh," she replied.

"And?" he enquired.

"And?" she repeated blankly.

"Do you love him?" Kiri asked neutrally.

"Of course I do," she replied and Kiri froze. She rushed on, "But not like that, not like I love you!"

Kiri opened his mouth and then shut it again.

Hikaru asked anxiously, "Should I have not told you? I didn't know if I should tell you, but I thought it might be worse not to tell you."

"I don't know," he said after a minute. "It doesn't make me happy, but I already guessed it. How did it come up?" he asked a little plaintively.

Hikaru blushed and said with embarrassment, "I asked. All of a sudden, when I went to talk to mom about the contract and he was sitting at the table where they'd been arguing, he smiled at me and I realized 'Don't Go' was to me. So after we left, I asked."

Kiri smiled tremulously at her.

Hikaru told him anxiously, "He said it's fine like this, that music is enough." Kiri didn't say anything and she said unhappily, "I don't know how to reassure you. I love you, I wish I could hold you. I guess I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's OK," Kiri said.

"You don't look like it's OK," she worried.

He smiled a little and replied, "I have only been gone a couple days, and so much is happening to you, and I can't even touch you. It makes me feel anxious."

Hikaru told him, "When you get home we'll touch a lot."

"Yes," he agreed.

"Kiri?" she asked.

"What?" he asked in return.

"Will you please tell me whenever I'm making you feel anxious, and if there's anything I can do to make you feel reassured?" Hikaru begged.

He looked at her a little ruefully. "Sorry,"he said quietly, "I feel a little anxious, but I don't know what you can do about it, and I didn't mean to make you worry more."

"I really love you Kiri," she told him seriously.

He smiled and replied, "I love you too."

"Mom said that musicians make people wonder if they're coming second if they're not careful," Hikaru said anxiously.

Kiri grinned at her and said lightly, "I know very well that music comes first, it's why I had a rule against dating musicians."

Hikaru stared at him. "You don't come second," she protested.

Wryly he asked, "Would you give up music for me?"

Hikaru gazed at him unhappily, then she looked at her guitar. She swallowed.

"You don't have to answer that," he told her gently.

"I could give up being in the band, if you really needed me to," she said miserably, "but I don't think I could give up playing entirely."

Kiri stared at her with shock written all over his face. After a moment he closed his open mouth and swallowed. "Hikaru," he said uncertainly.

She looked at him and told him, "I hope you won't ask me to. I think I'd feel miserable. But I don't want to give you up either."

"I won't ask you to, I'm, god, I love you so freaking much Hikaru," he replied with a crack in his voice.

"Me too," she told him quickly.

"I know that music is like air to you," Kiri said anxiously, "you might stop breathing if I asked, but it would kill you and I'd be miserable for the rest of my life! I'll never ask you to give it up."

Hikaru smiled shakily and asked, "Why did you ask then?"

Kiri blushed and looked away. "I really didn't think you loved me enough that you'd even consider it," he said almost too quietly for her to hear.

"I do," she replied.

He looked back and said a little breathlessly, "Yeah. Me too."

Then they talked about anything, nothing, and everything, both reluctant to end the call. Eventually they said goodnight.