It wasn’t too much later that mom and Beth left again. The rest of the visit went quietly, well, as quietly as it could with Beth asking to ride on mine and Matt’s shoulders. Mom didn’t let us throw her back and forth, though. Real shame, she woulda loved it.

But, after some time, the flat door fell shut, and they were out.

There was a brief silence, as both Matt and I took a second to breathe. I had the urge to open a window, but quickly stopped it, and just dialled up the air filtration some more. Screw my power bill, or something.

Then, my friend grinned at me.

“What?” I asked.

He remained silent.

“What is it?” I smiled, myself.

Silence, again.

“Goddamn it, Rabbit man, wipe that smirk off your face before I whack it off ya!” I threatened, slowly moving towards the wall. Within a moment, I’d snatched the spear, already bringing the back end down towards Matt’s head.

The grin on his face did, in fact, vanish at that, soon replaced with a glint in his eyes. He spun to the side, but I adjusted, smacking him in the stomach instead, before he darted to the wall, too, and grabbed the training sword.

“Let’s see how good you are here, Rat.”

“Still more than your match, I bet,” he teased, then ran at me.

After only five minutes we stopped. With a couple bruises, we decided that would be enough, since we really, really didn’t heal as fast here.

Granted, Matt did get the final strike in, smacking the bamboo into my ribs, but we both laughed it off. He had no idea what was coming for him when his back was turned.

… Another time, though.

Only a couple hours left until we went to meet the others, after all. So, instead of smacking each other with makeshift weapons - and leaving a rather big scratch on my floor with the distinctly sharp blade of the spear, oops - we decided to get ready.

Well, I got ready, Matt spent the time browsing through his phone and chatting. He sent quite a few memes into the group chat while I showered, as well as some cute rabbit pictures. I truly had struck gold with that nickname.

After washing my hair, I put on reasonably comfortable clothes. I could swap to something more pretty when it was time to leave, for now, this was enough. Especially since my hair still needed to dry, which would take a bit, and I didn’t exactly wanna go there with a wet shirt.

So, I scrolled through all the messages in the group, catching up. Emilia was in her hotel room by now, Liam sent a photo of himself, lying upside down on a couch, his legs draped over the pillows you were supposed to lean against, his head almost touching the floor.

He still wore a mask, even here, when he was clearly inside a room. I couldn’t help but smile at that. The one he wore in the picture had A winking chibi cat-face on his left cheek.

Even the twins informed us that they’d safely made it to the city. They’d gotten caught in a storm and the train was delayed a bit, but they’d accounted for enough of a delay to still make it without any trouble.

Ann was… stuck. My face fell. Of fucking course she was. Expected delays of multiple hours, when the trip should have taken under a day. Gods damn it all.

The train had gotten into trouble while she slept. She was too giddy, so she only fell asleep fairly late, and now woke up to see the train only a single station past where she’d fallen asleep. She probably wouldn’t make it. Fuck.

I squeezed my phone hard enough for my knuckles to go white. I wanted to break something so bad. Why. Why the fuck did this have to happen now?!

Matt placed a hand on my shoulder and I spun around, damn near ready to punch him. The anger faded when I saw his face. Why did his eyes have to be so fucking sad, now?

“Breathe, Fio.”

I’d been holding my breath. I breathed out, hard, then in again. “There, happy?” I snapped. Matt didn’t deserve this, but I did it anyways.

The smile he gave me was crooked. “Kinda. If you need to punch something, I’ve been told my face is quite punchable.”

His voice was so calm. I was unsure if it pissed me off more or was like someone tossing a water bucket over my head. I hardly remember. For a brief moment, I considered the idea, then shook my head. “Fuck off with that, Matt.”

He squeezed my shoulder a bit. “Fio. This means a lot to you, I know. Me as well. It sucks.”

I felt my vision go blurry, tears collecting in my eyes. “You know nothing, Matt!” I yelled, jumping up and knocking his hand away. “Nothing! Fuck! This was what this was all about, Matt, about Ann, about making it all feel real, and now she won’t be there!!”

The fucker had the audacity to look at me with that same expression in his eyes, that same sad smile on his face. Was he hurting? Maybe. Probably, even. I didn’t care. “Yeah. It fucking sucks, I know.” He cared.

How the fuck did he still have the energy to care?!

I shook my head. “Shut up, Matt! Just be quiet. It’s ruined, don’t you get it?! Ruined!” My voice broke in the middle of that. I felt the tears, hot against my cheek.

Matt took a step towards me. “Fio.”

“WHAT?!”

He stopped. “Breathe, for a sec, please.”

I was so angry, I wanted to say no, to tell him to fuck off, but all that left my mouth was sobs, then replaced by desperate gasps for air.

“If you’d like to, you can sit on the couch. I’ll make some tea, yeah?” He asked. His smile was so fucking bright, I knew he was putting on a brave face for me.

I just nodded. I suddenly didn’t have the energy to yell anymore. I was just… upset. Everything was just a blurry mess of misery, then Matt came back with a cup of tea.

He picked my favourite cup, the one with a bunch of sheep on it. For himself, he’d picked out a cup with… a rabbit on it. I looked at him, then he looked at me, then at his cup, and he had the audacity to blush, too. “Look,” he said, giving me an even more crooked smile, “I, uh… well, it’s-”

“Shut up, Rabbit-guy,” I said. He smiled, awkwardly, then nodded.

I took the cup in both hands, feeling the hot ceramic against my hands, then took a big gulp. It burned the back of my mouth, and I loved it for that. Then the sweetness hit. Wow that was a lot of sugar.

Matt watched me place the cup down, a stunned expression on my face. He grinned. “I do make good tea, don’t I?”

I stared at him. Swallowed again. The sweetness still lingered on my tongue. “How much sugar is that?” I croaked.

“Like seven teaspoons or something?”

I blinked at him a few times, then shook my head. “Fucking weirdo.”

“The best weirdo,” he said, grinning.

Once more, I shook my head at him, then took another sip of the tea. It felt even sweeter now. “Thanks.”

He took a sip himself. “Welcome,” he said, staring at the wall straight ahead.

Then I sat, quietly, for a long time, and the tears started flowing again. Then they stopped, then started, then finally stopped again.

“Why’s it have to hurt so bad…” I murmured, at no one in particular.

Matt shrugged. “Dunno. Never been in love. What I am, though, is here for you.”

I paused, looked at him, blinked, then shook my head with a smile. “Thanks Matt.”

“Course,” he said with a smile. “Tissues?”

“In my bedside table,” I waved my hand. He grabbed them for me. I wiped down my face and blew my nose. Then I took another deep breath. “And, uh, sorry for swearing at you.”

He laughed, genuinely, at the ceiling. “All good,” he said with a smile. “I’ve, uh, heard a lot worse. You just seemed angry, not really at me, you know? Didn’t feel as… personal as some other people in my life.”

“... Am I supposed to laugh or frown here?”

“Bit of both maybe?” he said, making a little balancing motion with his palms, then shrugged, taking another, final sip of tea. “Dunno. Your call.”

I sighed. “Sorry. For snapping.”

“It’s alright.”

“No, I really am. I shouldn’t have, and you deserved better.”

“Fio, it’s okay-”

I grabbed his shoulders again. “Listen, rabbit-boy. I am sorry. Because I understand I did something wrong. It’s okay for you to forgive me, or accept the apology, or get mad. Don’t just tell me it’s fine, when I know I did something bad.”

He looked me in the eyes, first shocked, then surprised, then amused. I let him go and he chuckled. “Alright, alright, Sheepio. Your apology has been taken into future consideration. Processing. Accepted.”

“Your robot voice sucks.”

“I knoooooow,” he sighed.

There was a lull in the conversation.

“So, uh, you still gotta get ready?” he eventually asked.

“Crap.”