The rhythmic clip-clop of horse hooves echoed beneath the carriage as Helena and Clarice set off on their journey to the DeMontfort manor, setting a steady backdrop to their conversation. Helena, leaning slightly forward against the gentle sways, asked her niece, Clarice, "Did you pack your things?" The occasional creaks and rattles of the carriage accompanied their dialogue.
Clarice, adjusting herself in response to the carriage's movement, answered, "I've packed for a trip, Aunt Helena, but not for a long stay."
Helena, momentarily glancing at the landscape rolling by, brought her attention back to Clarice. "No worries. I'll arrange for Edmund and Eleanor Octavia to secretly send your things directly to Abyssal Borderlands."
The carriage ambled along the uneven road, and Helena continued, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the carriage's modest clamour, "Now, remember, I want you to protect him, but I don't want you risking your life. If the situation seems dangerous, get him out of there."
"Of course, Aunt Helena," Clarice replied, her voice navigating through the carriage's subtle noises. "You know me. I don't face battles head-on when at a disadvantage. I earned awards for military tactics for a reason." The carriage's occasional jolts added a sense of urgency to her words.
Leaning back into the plush seat, Helena expressed her concern, "That's exactly what I'm cautioning you about. Don't engage in battles unless you're confident you can win and if it’s a frontal assault don’t even try to engage as it usually results in many casualties." The carriage's occasional jolts added a sense of urgency to her words.
Clarice, unperturbed, responded with confidence, "It was just a small group of reinforcements, untrained in martial arts using cores. We had zero casualties and made them surrender quickly."
Helena, persisted, "Okay, I understand. But be careful. Overconfidence after a victory can lead to defeat. Always consider the stakes and make the right decision."
Resting on her words, Clarice, adjusting to the subtle shifts, replied, "Geez, now you sound like the commander. I'm not going to war. I'm just going in disguise to protect Luke. Rest assured, the most they can do is send a couple of assassins. Assassins who won’t stand a chance against me." It was around this time when the carriage arrived at the gates of the manor.
Continuing their journey within the manor, the carriage's rhythmic movements accompanied Helena's resigned sigh, "Fine. There's no winning against you, is there?" Clarice's light-hearted giggle resonated in response. The carriage rolled towards the manor entrance, signalling the end of their conversation.
Just as they approached the entrance, Helena's sharp eyes caught sight of a departing carriage, undoubtedly Hestia's. The knowledge that Hestia had delivered critical information directly to Cedric hinted at potential changes to their carefully laid plans. With a sense of urgency, Helena recognized the need to adapt to the evolving circumstances.
Aware that Luke might have returned by now, Helena decided on a strategic divide. She directed Clarice to head to Luke's room for a personal conversation, trusting Clarice's abilities to support him in the current situation. Meanwhile, Helena herself opted to proceed directly to Cedric's office, where she anticipated crucial discussions and decisions in light of the latest developments. The distinct sounds of hooves and carriage wheels gradually faded as the two women, each on their designated path, embarked on their respective missions.
Continuing her journey through the manor, Helena ascended the stairs to reach Cedric's office. To her surprise, Adrian was already present. Recognizing the importance of Adrian's role in the unfolding plan, Helena deemed it crucial to keep him abreast of the latest developments. Inquiring about the information Helena had brought, she gained insights into the contents of the letter, Adrian's clandestine engagement with Hailey Sterling, and the subsequent events triggered by Luke's arrival.
Helena felt content knowing that Hailey would be the one getting engaged, given the efforts they had invested in rehabilitating her from the pressure and mental abuse inflicted by Bartholomew Sterling over the past decade. Above all, she took joy in the prospect of the young lady leading a happier life alongside Adrian. But suddenly, a sense of urgency gripped her. Realization struck that she might have erred by dispatching Clarice to Luke's room during a moment of emotional vulnerability. Fearing potential damage to their delicate relationship, Helena hurriedly left Cedric's office, determined to locate Luke and Clarice.
As she made inquiries among the maids, Helena discovered that Clarice and Luke had ventured to the training grounds. Alongside her concern for Luke's emotional state, a swell of pride and joy enveloped her as she reminisced about the efforts to shield Hailey from Bartholomew Sterling's oppression. This momentous shift in Hailey's fate, coupled with the budding romance between Adrian and Hailey, brought warmth to Helena's heart amidst the complex web of political intrigue. With these emotions fuelling her steps, she hastened through the manor's corridors.
Luke sat in his room, wrestling with a myriad of emotions. He reluctantly admitted that Hestia was right – despite despising his parents' interference in preventing his participation in the duel, he acknowledged that he would likely have done the same if he had his children doing something similar. The complexity of his emotions overwhelmed him, and he chose to share only a portion of his troubles with Hestia. The remaining turmoil, a profound and undisclosed aspect, he decided to bear alone, convinced that no one else could truly comprehend.
Hidden from everyone was the fact that he retained memories from before his reincarnation, a feeling akin to being isekaied into this world. He yearned for his home, family, hobbies, and closest friends, fully aware that he would never have the chance to reunite with them. This profound sense of loss cast a heavy burden upon him. Unfortunately, he couldn't divulge this revelation to anyone else; it would likely be dismissed as a dream or a subconscious attempt to escape the anguish of losing Vivienne. Regardless, there was no one he could confide in, as the depth of his emotions would be beyond their understanding. All he could do was focus on recovering and gradually moving forward. In the midst of his contemplation, a knock resounded through the room, prompting him to open the door to reveal a young lady with striking red hair and piercing topaz eyes – none other than his cousin, Clarice Whitewood.
He welcomed her into his room, pondering the reason for her visit. She inquired about his well-being, after which she stated, "I'm not going to sit here and let you feel sorry for yourself. Setting aside all political shenanigans, the reason you lost the duel was that you lost concentration. I am not going to console you on what you should or shouldn't have done. However, I want you to practice and make sure that you will never let your emotions get the better of you, especially in a battle where one mistake can cost your life. Get your spare armour with cores charged and ready; we will try to replicate the match and see where you went wrong and try to fix it."
Understanding that Clarice was doing her best to help, Luke agreed, stating, "Okay. Let's do it. But we didn't use cores in our fight."
Clarice was surprised as she continued, "Didn't use cores? I thought your sword and armour got replaced."
"Yes, they changed our sword and armour at the last minute, stating it's against academy policies," replied Luke. But something felt off. Nobody knew about the armour change except for himself and Serge. Trying to figure out what happened, he asked Clarice, "By the way, this was not discussed openly, and we were made to change our armour and sword at the last minute. How did you know about the armour change but not the fact that we didn't use cores?"
"It was Uncle Cedric who had gotten the Lux Hesperus Consortium to change the armour and sword as someone had tampered with it," replied Clarice which invited another shock from Luke. Realizing she had said too much, she tried to compensate with, "Anyways, let's not focus on that now. If there were no cores used in the battle, then let's just focus on the battle itself. Grab two wooden swords and let's head over to the training area."
Feeling that it would be better to use this as an opportunity to express his feelings with his sword and also a learning opportunity to control his emotions, Luke agreed, "Yes, let's go," as they headed to the training ground.
So I binge read it and I will say
It's really good
The initial chapters had very hard language but now I am getting used to it ( or maybe u have eased the language)
Otherwise I really like the story, every character has a story behind them and are not 2D
Try to write the fight sequence a little engaging, I liked the one between Serge and Mc but u can surely improve and make sure not to make Mc too OP or else the fights will become less interesting. Make sure he improve but slowly. I really liked how MC previous life acquittance and family are actually important to him and so he is depressed about them.
( I liked the little brother, give him some more screen time)
I m Curious how u will handle the fiance
Hoping for a harem ending bro
And please update weekly and DONT YOU DARE DROP THIS WORK OR MY SOUL SHALL HAUNT U!!!!
I feel like it's still missing a hook. An attention grabber that can retain readers attention.
I know that authors really cherish their stories and the sanctity of their plot, but if you have a goal for this novel then you really have to step up a little and give us something that can just instantly hook us.
Of course if this novel is something you truly want to write regardless of engagement then just continue on because I sure as heck will still continue to follow it.
I don't exactly understand what you're talking about when you say hook. Perhaps you can elaborate? Also, feel free to join our discord server for this work : https://discord.gg/FRFNBRZHcW
@lxng10 maybe he is talking about some moments which will make the reader's exclaim " Oh dam"
Like the MC almost winning by the skin of tooth but then for some reason he loses
Or some badass side character like Zoro in OP or Yami in BC
@lxng10 Kind of like a showcase. Either of the plot or of the mc. Plotwise you've shown a lot, but not enough impact that can make it memorable.
Character wise kind of like a first impression. The depiction of the mc so far is decent but he hasn't showcased any trait that we readers may look forward to seeing more, wheter that be his cautiosness, cunning, shamelessness or ruthlessness or even their flaws like being weak to conversations. Perhaps even a physical trait like a disability or a unique body trait like hair color. It's been 18 chapters and the mc is still very much a blank slate still. He's been properly fleshed out don't be mistaken but it still lacks a defining trait to be remembered by.
@SumOfAnnoyances I was planning on developing the MC and his character after the prologue but I will keep it in mind.
@Itadori Perhaps I should have introduced Clarice in a better way. Thanks for the heads up. I have already said it in the previous chapters, but Clarice will be a badass regarding action and fights.