Chapter 3

One might ask this obvious question how can one still be a virgin while living near the wildest forms of sexual suspense and exposure?

The answer to this question is quite a few with the first being I am kind of scared of girls. My second answer would be I am a focused and goal-driven individual who has no time for hoes and heartbreaks. Now with that out of the way let us now continue from where we left off.

I felt a little light-headed when I was moving back to my apartment. It was not much but I was happy with it. Going to my room I struggled a bit due to the drunk guys and waitress who were moving around.

I just could not believe how one could be drunk at 7 pm and still say he was going to go all night with it.

When I managed to get into my apartment, I tossed my suitcase away. I used my foot to remove my shoes, finally threw the shirt onto the couch, and walked briskly to bed. After a bit of struggle, I was finally able to lie on my bed.

“I am really not good with alcohol.” I laughed at myself for not thinking about this when I was downing those shots.

Looking at the ceiling for a while I decided to play some tunes to help calm my mind. Listen to Celine Dion I Am Alive really helped me push away all those suicidal thoughts away. And made me feel less depressed. Meaning it was now time for me to ask myself the million-dollar question.

“What am I not doing right?” was now on my mind.

After elaborating on the question for a while, I think I found one answer to the question. And this was kind of my fault, to begin with.

I had no person or a friend to rely on when I was in a pinch. Never thought having those things where necessary until now. I decided to go through my phone to see if I could get any number to call and send my greetings.

But sadly, all I saw on my phone were two contact details, and those were not even human beings to begin with. The first number was my bank account number with the password, and the second number was 911.

Looking at these numbers really made me realize how lonely I was at the top.

Despite the fact I do not remember my classmates’ names I still know one thing for certain and that is some of them are fucking rich. Like I am talking about money blowing in the wind kind of rich.

So maybe had I made some friends when I went to school could I have changed how my life is?

“Arhhhh I really hate myself now. I did not know that I was the problem all along.” I screamed and rolled all over the bed to show my frustration.

Wow, I never realized how lonely I was until now. I do not even have Uncle Ken’s number.

And besides, I learned nothing practical from the course I did in university. How was I even going to build relations with customers with such behavior? Ah, I am such a failure. That was the main reason I was not picked for the job after several interviews.

I am just not cut out for this shit right here. Sadly, I passed through the school and not the other way around.

I think I am the main reason why I am not progressing in this life.

After scolding myself for some time I decided to ask myself the question again to see if I could find more solutions to my problem.

“What am I not doing right?”

And after a while, I got another answer and that was, I am not fond of taking risks.

I am afraid of taking risks and getting out of my comfort zone. I think I really have a big problem and the only way I can change my life is by taking some risks like now and using some crude means to make money.

Let’s start with the national lottery.

I took my phone and quickly dialed in the required pin and decided to choose 25 11 20 23 as my lucky four number for the lottery I was going to stake. I chose these numbers because this was the day I would change for the better.

I know I had wasted that money but deep down I felt happy because I had taken the first big step and who knows what the future has installed for me.