This is possibly the only entry since I arrived at Deshla that I do not have to describe myself doing sexual activities. A slower and peaceful day, after Gredak most of the town went back to a state of hibernation you could say. Things went as normal, with 15Qo I got from Silvia. I treat myself to breakfast at Henry's and got some butter with a tomato, constructing the sandwich was the most fun I've had for a while, and eating it was the best food I've had for the last week or so (I didn't eat anything at last night at the feast because I didn't feel like it).

My possessions now include: A notebook, quill, ink, kitchen knife, a chisel, a pouch, two pair of clothes, a cup of butter, half of a locally grown tomato (weird shape) and 37Qo.

I can enjoy living with this much money for the rest of my life, as long as I drop dead by next week. 

I want to take a bath today, I've noticed that a lot of houses in the town have their own tub, more like a barrel to bathe themselves, the rest; most of them actually, get some water on their hands and rub the dirty bits off of their skins. I, for one, am not about that. So I made it my mission to walk to the pond in the woods North of Deshla every day to clean myself, it is a long walk, but on the way I can view the picturesque world in its fullest. I never felt so much happiness just being in the vast empty road like that, and today was just the same. I woke up, ate breakfast and sat on the grass staring aimlessly at the clouds and trees.  

I have decided, that it soon will be time for me to embark on a new adventure, out of Deshla. I love the place, I've enjoyed the nice folks, the kind hearts and welcoming arms, but the worst kind of life to live is the kind where you don't do stupid things. I regretted the days where I was the stupid black sheep...

[The next page of this entry has been crosses out violentlyly with ink, to the point of illegible, with some wet spots here and there]

... I'm rambling too much, I think I do not want to read any of that again, and I am the only one who can read English in this world... So I might as well crosses everything out. I'm sorry for ruining these pages that you gifted me, Hewi.

I sat on the table, facing the window, knowing that the wind will not bring the black clouds that carries me away into the foreverness. But something pulled me back to myself, to reality someone called me.

"Tanya, you brought me a surprise again."

Botol knocked on my door, spacing myself inwards.

"Yes, miss Edinburgh? Someone asked for me?"

"Not just someone. The Gaylords."

'Fuck' My initial thought was, have Silvia been caught and snitched on me? Or she was now an open lesbian with desired to tell that to the whole town that I snuck out of Gredak to eat her out? The horror only amplifies when I head downstairs with Botol to greet my guest; not Silvia, but two people, a man in his 30s at most and a younger man, about Trek's age which is just barely 20. Both of them are just like Silvia, blonde, pale skin, no irises and emotionless, Half-Elves they are.

"Hello?"

"Greetings." The older one spoke, "I am Doid Gaylord, the father of Tescion and Silvia. You must be the Tanya that helped my daughter find her missing boots last evening, I've been told?"

"That is correct... Yes I am, sir."

A father? But the man barely looks older than Hewi. Is it something about elves and their inability to age with time? Silvia made up a story that I helped her find her missing boots, but what for? 

"I will keep this straight with you, Tanya. I have no respect for the likes of you, but I trust my daughter to trust the right person. So I will ask you to take my son's virginity."

...

What the fuck? I thought.

"I don't understand sir."

I looked over to the younger guy; whose name is Tescion as introduced, he was rather a timid one, fidgeting with his own fingers and eyes gazed somewhere else that is not me or Botol who was standing closeby, or even his own father.

"My son, Tescion Gaylord, dare to tell me that he has no intention in continuing the bloodline because women doesn't interests him."

"Father..."

"So I, kindly. Would like to order you to make him into his right mind again, you can take his virginity for all I care, money's not an issue."

"I can not agree to this, sir."

This, by all means, is against every moral standards that I would believe in. And I do not endorse in this situation, my initial reaction would be to just decline, but upon seeing the judgemental eyes of the father, the confusion mixed furiousness of the innkeeper and the scarity cat eyes of the son got to me.

"How dare you? What is this, Edinburgh? Your girls are not for sale all of a sudden?" Doid spoke up.

"Tanya... Are you trying to kill me? This is Mr. Gaylord." Miss Botol Edinburgh said, before coming in and whispered. "He will put me out of business and you in jail, are you even sober right now?"

I was... rather a pushover, easily pressured in this type of situation. Though my face muscle didn't move an inch, but my decision was already twisted, and I made another decision

"I'm sorry, I was saying gibberish. Would you like me to guide sir Tescion Gaylord here upstairs?"

This is a simple situation, I thought. Just leave him in my room and do absolutely nothing, I'll get paid, the guy won't get touched if he doesn't wish to and everyone's happy.

"Father... Do I really have to?" The young Half-Elf looked at us.

In response was a cold stare that sent shivers to my spine, even if his eyes weren't even anywhere near mine and I was far from his arms reach. It was a straightforward answer than anything. 

Tescion was not like, a young, Shota or anything. He was an adult, whose got a more enclosed personality, low posture, head always downward, sadness and unsure covered his eyes. If he stand tall and proud like most would, I'd argue he'd look more attractive than most of the men I've met even with that skin tone and eyes... Perhaps it's a race trait.

I led him to my room, with Botol and Doid Gaylord followed right behind.

"Stop." Doid crossed his arms in front, looked at us up and down as I opened the door to my room.

"Both of you, leave your clothes outside so I know you're actually doing it in there."

As far as I understand his logic; a man and a woman, naked and alone in the same room can't stop the urge to fuck each other and lie to him. I might be wrong, or the one who's stupid is in fact him, not understanding that two naked person can in fact, coexist without sex.

"Sure thing, Mr. Gaylord." I answered, simply taking off my clothes; the pair that Trek gave me and neatly folded it to put right outside my door; here's hoping no one would steal it.

The man didn't bat an eye to me after that, but staring at his son who was frozen in place.

"You can take those off, Tescion, or someone will."

The two were wearing quite matching clothes; properly signature in the Gaylord family since I've seen Silvia wore the same. A rather complex outfit with a reverse triangle collar that extends to the shoulders down to their chest? Dark green threads with long sleeves and buttons in the middle. 

Tescion was hugging his own arm and is on the verge of tears, I can see that; Botol can see that when I made eye contact with her. This is absolutely humiliating for him, was it a punishment from his father or just something to prove that the Gaylords just doesn't care about their image.

"I believe he would need a little bit more privacy, may I help him strip inside and bring the clothing out for you?"

Doid looked at me, frowning in dismay, but unwillingly nodded.

"Don't lie to me."

I closed the door and observe the situation. I'm naked from top to bottom, in a room with a Half-Elf young man who's starting to shed tears with his mouth cup in his hands to muffle the sobbing noise, not saying a single word. I help him sit down on my bed, I know that I should just let things get quiet, but time is not a friend at this exact moment.

"I won't do anything to you, Tescion... Right? I know your sister, she told me to help you get out of this situation."

A lie I made up on the spot calmed Tescion down, as he looked up at me for the first time and then panned his eyes downwards again, the Half-Elf mumbled under his breath, almost incoherent he said.

"Th...thank you... Tanya?"

"Now, would you mind it if I assist you in taking off your clothes?"

Tescion nodded, sitting still right beside me as he clenched his fist and closed his eyes tight... It's hard, but I will managed something, I started unbuttoning the young man, he seems uncomfortable and flustered, and I know I would, too.

"What's taking so long!" A voice from outside called for us, Doid it was.

"Almost done, sir!" I answered.

Unbuttoning the shirt, Tescion stretched his arms behind his back so I can take it off completely; I moved onto the pants, but find trouble starting, so I ask of the young Half-Elf.

"Can you stand up, please?"

Hesitated, but he did stood up without a single word for ease of me taking off his pants, but what was unveiled shock me to my core... His member was huge, in a way, not as terrifying as David, the adventurer who basically raped me, but girthy, firm and clean. Maybe because both Tescion and David are not humans? If that is the case; humans in this world are missing out on all the chicks, but Desmond is also not entirely human and his was just a fair size, maybe above.

I try not to focus on it as I strip the young man full naked and take a look at him; a lean and fit individual with no significant attribute to his body except for a huge dick, a man but his body language suggested that of a boy. To be completely honest, for a moment there my morals were questioned, and I thought of actually taking advantage of the situation, he can't refuse me and I'd get paid to violate a man who doesn't want it and would listen to everything I say in fear of his father. That was... An interesting proposition given from a sinful intent, but I hold myself back to the light, yes I would love to sin, but I would also; love to keep my moral at a threshold where I won't regret dying. So I stood up and bring the clothes outside.

"Here is the young sir's clothes, I will be done with him shortly." 

Doid Gaylord took a peek inside of my room and saw that Tescion was sitting on my bed naked with an erection, he nodded and turned away.

"I will be downstairs with the Edinburgh, make sure you treat him well, I'll be hearing from him."

"My pleasure, sir."

The door closed as I locked it, just to make sure, and turned to see the window showing the early noon skies... For privacy, I reach outside to closed the wooden trapdoors of my window, shutting it in completely with only small pocket of lights shining in. I was... Naked in the process, so when I reach out to pull the two back in, I noticed that a man was looking upwards to the inn and caught a glimpse of me nude. A demi-human with green hair, so that marked the first time I've flashed someone in public without their consent, huh?

Getting rid of that burning thought, I sat right next to Tescion as my brain malfunctioned for a split second, before turning off thoughts and work on instincts, I patted his head, a young man who's afraid and crying, here against his will and is of a higher status than me, and I'm patting his head, probably forgivable right?

"You can cover yourself with this." I gave him my blanket.

"Thank... you, Tanya."

That can mark the end of our conversation, because I got nothing else to say and he seems reluctant to chat. Tescion covered himself with my blanket as I lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

We did not exchange much after that, I was going to tell him to fake moaning and yelling, or create weird slopping sounds to sell the effect that we're actually having intercourse, but the young man didn't seems to be in his right mind. He was either a child trapped in a man's body, or just a pussy. Eitherway, sitting next to a naked man who was shivering wasn't fun, it was very unnerving.

"You don't like women?"

The air was still filled with silence after that, so I sighed and elected to take a nap. But he finally spoke up.

"No... No, it's not that, but... I only want to be friends with them. But father is... pushing me to be married and continue the bloodline."

"When I told him... I don't want to be romantic with any girl... He was offended, thank you, Tanya, for not trying to push yourself on me. My father, uh... He tried to get a servant to make a move on me, I woke up this morning and she was on top of me, it was terrifying. My older sister helped me got out of that situation... And suggested you."

It seems as though the man, Doid was not a reasonable man. And Silvia took that trait, I can hear that in their speech pattern, and Tescion was a black sheep.

"It can be hard to explain that to your father, I see."

Tescion nodded, laying down next to me, still covering himself neck to toe... From this view, when he lowered his guard and stopped acting like a crybaby, he seems more like a man of Hewi's age now.

"Only Silvia can understand my feelings... Because she said she suffered the same, but her advice to me was to just... Hide it."

"... My apologies, but I do not understand what you meant by... Suffer."

"..." 

Tescion looked at me and we made eye contact, his eyes was 'moving', that was the best I can describe it, it was like when someone is crying, the water in their eyes make it glow and seems like the iris is moving. But in this case, the young Half-Elf didn't have irises and definitely was not crying, but I feel like behind that empty white eyes was moving waves of emotions. In words I could not describe the emotions of a man that was not before discovered, and I am not able to draw what I saw on this diary, but his eyes were something I could remember forever.

"Silvia told me you knew about what we were suffering..."

"I can not recall... Sorry."

"..." Tescion took a deep breath, and continued "I do like someone... Romantically, someone who worked for us, the Gaylords."

"... You couldn't tell your father about her, I'd assume."

"No... I can't, because... His name is Trek, an orphan who sleeps in our barn."

My heart dropped.

My eyes widened and my jaws detatched.

The "suffering" that they talked about was that they are full-blown homosexual. Silvia is a lesbian and Tescion is gay, both are closeted without the knowledge of their father.

I stopped myself from making a joke about their last name, because as far as I know... The old meaning of Gay was to be happy or of that nature. And it seems as those these people are not living up to that name.

"Do you think it is a sickness?" I asked of him, sincerely.

"I've heard stories about people who had the same feelings as me and Silvia... And it's a disease, yes... Maybe I caught it and infected Silvia... I feel like a failure."

The morally correct thing to do was to lecture him about happiness and striving for what you felt and who you loved. But in these times, perhaps he'll be banished from his family, maybe also Silvia... And worse, entrapped and executed. I want to tear up so bad, knowledge is what made us miserable and helpless...

"I believe... Ahem" 

I fumbled in my own speech and tried to say again.

"I believe you should have a plan in the future... One day your father might tell you to marry someone you don't like. One day you might have the biggest urge to confess to Trek before you two depart, one day... One day you will not be able to keep the secrets anymore, and will have to find a way to find happiness, either with or without your family."

"..." Tescion looked at me, mesmerized in a way.

"..." I smiled, looking back at him and reached to touch his sharp pointy ears... I don't know what I was thinking.

"My father told me to not take advices from anyone below us... But, I think he might be wrong for one..."

"Adults are once teens who had grown up, they're humans after all."

"We're not... Human, Half-Elf, you meant.."

"Oh... I meant... In a general term, like for adult all over the world, let rephrase them. They're just... Intelligent beings, after all."

With that said, believe the word "humanity" or "mankind" does not exist here, because the dominant and only superior race is not human, like my world is.

"Thank you, Tanya... You are a great friend, and I think my sister agrees."

"I'm glad to be of help, Tescion..."

It's been a while since we entered the room, a man should have nut by now so I should make up a play.

I told Tescion all about sexual intercourse between a man and a woman... As far as my knowledge goes. And I stepped out the door to loudly yelled, to the point of the whole inn can listen to: "I'm coming! Ah~" to sell the illusion that we actually had sex, among other things we've prepared like our body posture, interactions and what to say. Before we clothed, held each other arms and went downstairs to greet Botol Edinburgh and Doid Gaylord.

I was a clinging whore in this play, hugging the rich young man's arm with a satisfied smile and praises everything about him with a fake voice. While Tescion just smile through while occasionally blink at me... It was a funny scene for both of us, but I think the two old people believed us.

I stand by the door and watched as Tescion tried to keep his head up in a brave manner and walked beside his father, they looked like the same age and pals rather than father and son... The gifts of elves I see.

Walk tall and straight, Tescion. A life can be cruel but your heart can shine with love, walk with a purpose and smile with hope, because there are at least two people in this world who believed in you, who are waiting for you to shine at the top of victory. I hope you will find your happiness, just like how I am.

Sincerely, Tanya, the woman from another world.