"WHERE ARE OUR EYES!?!" Rosegold screams,  clawing at her face like a feral cat. Writhing and squirming on the ground in agony. My heart shatters just hearing her. 

 

"Shut your banshee mouth!" Joshua yells back, slamming his heel somewhere across my body once again. I feel more parts of me crumble into cracked shards.  I have no idea how much of my body is left intact by now. "Screaming like that. It sounds like knives on a plate.  Awful screeching. That's all I hear."

 

Rosegold quickly forces herself to go quiet,  not wanting to risk further injury. "R-rosegold… please…" I try to call to her.  Putting my arms out somewhere in front of me.  But I have no idea in which direction they could be moving. The concept is completely lost to me.

 

"U-userrr…." My doll whines,  slowly trying to crawl across the dirt towards me, one clawing arm pull at a time. "I can't sit up… my back is broken." She says. 

 

And she's right.  I can hardly move. The parts of me that I need to be able to move very well are just gone.  I can no longer feel from my mid stomach down.  Anywhere.

 

"It's… it's okay,  Rosegold. We'll think of something, we have to. We'll escape…" I whisper to her,  feeling her reach me and grab hold somewhere across my body. 

 

"User,  I feel hopeless. It all feels like too much…. The world is closing in, and fast." She says right back,  crawling into a puddle of something wet and viscous. 

 

…

 

"Aaaalright. Finally.  I got what I'm after.  Now to rightfully test whether or not you're worthy of living any further." Joshua says, probably still holding my eyes.  "That's all I wanted to do,  really.  Just to test, anyway." 

 

"Fuck you…" I weakly call out to him. "Give me my eyes back."

 

I hear him laugh a moment before crouching down over me. The heel of his boot is placed right against my head.  As if it's a warning to show that he can crush my skull at any moment. 

 

Well it works,  and I shut up. 

 

"People are always so scared of my ability.  To lose your vision like that. They say it's a fundamental part of you. Something that cannot be rightfully taken away." He grinds his heel a little further into my cheek.  I burn with rage. "But I don't know.  I think it's righteous to lose a part of yourself for your cause.  It shows conviction, it's a sacrifice no one else can make but you." I can hear him smirk.  "Have some spine, boy, and deal with it."

 

Then finally he takes his boot off my face and stands up. "Now,  where was I? Oh,  right." 

 

He takes the little silver eyes he stole from me and goes to replace one of his with mine. The moment he touches the eye to his face,  it exchanges out with one of his pearly eyeballs,  and he takes a good clean look into everything in my past.

And then he vanishes.

Fwoop.

Just like that. Gone from this world and into a place of memory. My memory. 

 

I start to hyperventilate. I feel scared, so scared.  I'm blind and broken.  It's a kind of all consuming hopelessness that starts to eat me alive. It's terrifying, and I feel completely isolated.  Alone in a forest, laying on the ground with my body in pieces.  

 

It's another world of terror in anticipation. The man is gone right now.  I have no idea when he will be returning, and when he does.  I'm fucked,  game over.  

 

The dread starts to get to me, I can feel myself crumbling apart even further beneath my own weight. I'm gonna die like this.  Today.  Right now! Alone! Never having made any friends,  never having anyone but my own fucking thoughts to occupy me! It's terrifying. I wish I had someone here.

But you do. “I’m here.” My doll whispers, pulling herself against me and placing her hand on my cheek. “I’m here, I’m here. Don’t worry.”

“I'm so scared.  I don’t know what to do….” My voice whispers back, terrified, tearful. “I can’t see anything…. I don’t want this to be how I go… I wish I could see you one last time.”

“I know, I know, I'm so sorry…” She hugs me as tight as she can, our broken pieces mingling in ghostly permeability. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't strong enough."

 

"No,  no,  you were. You were! It was me who wasn't strong enough.  I'm supposed to be your user after all.  And now I've gotten us killed,  I can't- I can't- I…" I can feel my sorrow start to build and build and build.  All consuming once again.  The kind of feeling that wells up and makes you sob for hours on end.  But I can't cry.  So no release comes.  Just more pressure and more pressure. The anxiety is too high a stimulant. "I'm- I'm gonna fucking die! He's gonna kill me just like that little girl! I can't,  I can't, can't do anything about it!!! I can't even move!!!" I scream,  my voice breaks beneath my shattered lungs. 

 

"Shhh shhhh." My doll shushes me. "You're panicking."

 

"Of course I'm fucking panicking! There's nothing I can do!!!" 

 

"Yes,  there is,  User. But you have to focus.  Focus." She chastises me.  "What can you feel?"

 

"I can't feel anything! My body is broken,  I can't feel anything at all. It's rock solid in pieces" My voice, the sound of someone sad enough to cry.  No tears. 

 

"Focus.  Focus harder.  For me, okay?" She pleads, tracing her invisible fingers across my cheek. "Please?"

 

"Okay,  okay… fine." I take a steadying deep breath,  and try to focus.  Breathing feels weird when your bones are in pieces. "I feel… the air.  The wind is blowing, but I can't tell what direction it's in.  I feel… the ground, but it's almost like the floor is above me.  I feel… I feel you,  of course."

 

"No,  no. Not the sensations. Focus on your feelings." She puts her hand against my chest suddenly,  and it almost makes me jump. "What do you feel?" 

 

"I- I don't wanna do that! There's nothing good in here!" I cry out.  "I don't want to feel that!"

 

"Try, just try for me.  Try to feel what I feel. What exactly are we laying in?" She asks me. 

 

I'm dumbfounded. "Something wet?"

 

What is it?

 

"I don't know,  it's his vomit.  It's a puddle. It's mud It's-" … … 

 

Red,  a color,  the only one that I can see.  Drop,  a droplet that hits the floor from a broken nose.  Gush, a gushing from a wound caused by my stand.  Hard,  the teeth knocked out of a mouth that spits hatred. 

 

Gold,  the feeling on my skin.  The euphoria of a life bleeding into mine. 

 

"It's blood. I can feel it. It's, it's there! It's not quite sight, but it's almost clear to me.   I can almost reach it,  I just need to-"

 

!!!

 

"-LES EVERYWHERE! FUCKING FULL OF HOLES!!! EVERY TIME I LOOK THERE'S MORE-" Joshua comes slamming back into reality,  blipped into place somewhere in front of me,  screaming and running. He takes five, six, or ten steps in a direction I can't possibly discern. Then vanishes into the air right when I'd expect him to run into a tree.  

 

"What the fuck was that!?" I was startled. But Rosegold stays back,  completely resolute. She's stronger than I am. 

 

"Ignore him,  he's not important right now,  you were so close! The world isn't important right now! Focus on me or we'll die!" She shouts,  falling into my broken body. I've noticed that the shattered parts of me have started to bleed. The hard surface of blood vessels and veins that are effectively painted on.  Colors on the outside of a rock.  But they're going soft again,  and now those vessels are deeply exposed. "We're losing solidarity quickly! I can't keep your body together for long,  we're gonna rip apart at the seams!" 

 

I won't let that happen.  Not to me,  not to my doll.  Focus on it,  even if it hurts. It's not reality, it's a second layer, just behind me.  It feels,  it feels so!

 

…

 

…   :D

 

Goooooooooolden~

 

Euphoria burns through my body,  threatening to make my eyes roll back into my head.  It's pure bliss, it's the highest emotional high.  It's fireworks of wonder and glory.  It's vampirism.

 

Warmth covers me, I would expect the world to burn bright,  but nothing is there. Just it,  just the feeling. It feels like there's something finally truly worth taking.  And that it couldn't possibly get better than this!

 

The little pieces of me start to meld all back together.  Laying in a little puddle of our damage,  sinking the life straight out of it. It's delicious. Patching up the puzzled mess of my body, all glued up together once again. This feeling fixes everything.

 

And after a moment of getting my bearings in a world with no space,  I sit up.

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

"I did it! I did it, I did it!" I exclaim happily, excited! "I'm all better now! I can glue myself back together!" I shout,  but no voice returns my call.  The sound of it bounces unshapely off of the trees in the area. Wet,  but I have no idea where. 

 

Immediate frown. "Ros-"

 

BURST, FEET ON THE GROUND, RUNNING ACROSS THE CEILING! "Everywhere,  little gray spots! No color,  nothing! It's like your senses are gone!!" Then silence again,  but he's back only after a second longer. "What is this? How are you hiding this from me!?" Joshua shouts,  coming to a stop nearby.  He sounds incredibly far away.  "How are you doing this? Resisting my ability? Or- " gone again,  silencing once again.  

 

I try to stand upright, but a feeling of paradoxical vertigo fills the inside of my ears.  Guuweehhhh…  And I fall flat back onto the ground. 

 

 What is he even yelling about? It's a little hard to focus on the real physical world again.  Sensation, touch and sound are so much harder to remember to listen to when I just did everything I could to do the opposite. 

 

"This whole place is lifeless,  coated in nothing but gray! Spotty and barely readable! Like there's a poor connection!" A voice shouts from just above me,  and I'm suddenly glad I fell to the floor again.  I don't think he noticed I'm fixed since I'm still down here.  Good!

 

"And then the feed just cuts out after a certain point, like everything I just saw was taped over something else.  It's all here,  in total a black and white blur, What the hell is this? What's wrong with you?" He questions and I start to shake in fear.  My emotions feel so strong right now! I sure hope he doesn't find out he's being tricked! "Where's your color? How are you leaving it all behind?"

 

I mumble something under my breath, doing the best to recreate the sound of a broken heart.  He can't find out I'm working again. I need him to lean just a little closer into range so I can be sure to hit him in the dark. And he won't get near me if he knows.

 

"I've seen this once before.  Not quite the same,  but very similar. You're hiding something, and I want to know what. But you're not hiding it from me,  you're hiding it from you." There's a cold, writhing spike of dread that lashes suddenly from somewhere deep in my chest.  I don't like him saying that. 

 

But I'm adept enough at forcing my emotions to stay out of my voice when I need them to,  able to choke down the anger and keep myself mumbling quietly.  He can't seem to properly hear me,  leaning closer than he should on automatic reflex. "What was that? Too roughed up to respond like a man?" Just a little closer.  "Tell me,  what exactly happened to you when you were younger?"

 

He leans just into range,  just close enough. And I can sense the blood on his shirt.  I am going to hit him as hard as I fucking can. 

 

Stitches start to cross up and down my arms. In out in out in. A ghostly extra layer starts to cover over my hands,  exchanging my weak fleshy hands for one's made of harder porcelain.  An extra layer of armor between me and him. Exactly the push I needed to seal my resolve. 

 

But they only stay like that for a flash,  just long enough to punch. 

 

A hit, a solid hit packed with every single ounce of my rage at once sends him crashing over backwards in a single shot. Immediately rewarded for my efforts with another lovely spray of liquid joy.  The world almost looks like it has color again,  but that I can only see in red. 

 

Joshua goes ragdolling, slung across the clearing and crashing into a nearby tree with immense force. It's clean, the force of the impact making him spit out a mouthful more of blood. "Kkkghhhh!" He slides to the ground,  breathless. "Hhhhow?" His throat almost closes in. 

 

The ghostly cover fades away as I try once more to push myself to my feet, using the sensations of blood as my anchoring guides on the right way up.  It's a kind of single minded bloodlust that takes over my brain,  and I let it do so completely. 

 

Joshua the veteran attempts to shield himself with Fortunate Son once again, establishing his stand in the air between us, but not for very long. The coherence of its form flickering in and out of existence as his brain swells in his skull from a serious concussion. I bet if it wasn't already gone,  it would make his vision go dark.

 

The leaves crunch above my feet,  crispy wet oak leaves that give in easily from my weight. There's a flutter of air through my shoulder as his stand tries to reflexively punch. A desperate single minded attempt to save its owner before its too late. 

 

I drop to my knees and punch Joshua in the face as hard as I can. 

 

It knocks him the rest of the way down,  and I proceed to knock my knuckles bloody against his cheeks.  Like a caveman striking a stone,  I'll pick up my arm, ball my fist,  and slam it down against him as many times as it takes.  He grunts in pain at each hit,  progressively sounding worse and worse. 

 

"Hhhgggkkjhh ghhhghhoowww???" He tries to ask me through broken teeth. It feels good hearing him sound helpless like this.  

 

"You were right.  I should have killed you when I had the chance." My rage boils under my blood so intensely. "Spinelessness will not stop me a second time." 

 

"You'll-" smack, groan! "Never-" smack,  grunt, getting weaker. "Escape your past!" He shouts, trying once again to summon his stand next to me to fight.  But he doesn't have the energy left,  and it fades from existence as I wrap my fingers around his neck and squeeze.

 

His hands weakly paw at mine, losing their strength as I choke the life straight out of him. The sound of blood pouring down his throat and into his lungs is music to my ears. Little dry fingers pick and pry at mine,  desperately trying to save himself.  But I do not let him.

 

His legs thrash beneath me,  convulsion as the lack of oxygen kicks in his flight responses. But I do not let him. 

 

His hands drop from mine,  one falling flat next to his head,  the other trying still to whack against my cheek. He wants out or he's going to die.  But I do not let him.

 

His abilities start to completely fade,  a silver eyeball falling from his eye like a teardrop. It bumps against my hand and vanishes.  Melting like an ice cube and dripping down my hands in evaporation. Sight clicks back on, and I almost instantly lose my composure.

 

Here I am,  sitting atop a man with my hands around his neck,  squeezing with all my fury.  But the look.  The distant fucking look in his eyes,  as dead and gone as his stand. Something about the sight just shakes me to my bones. Something about it echoes a sick sound from long before.  His face is turning deep purple, and his thrashing has started to stop. 

 

I don't know if I can do this. Am I really gonna be able to take someone's life?

 

…

 

Yes,  because he deserves it. 

 

…

 

Two ghostly gray hands piece themselves together just inches away from mine.  They float silently against my hands and interlace her fingers through mine. My hands were already on his neck,  but fading in their strength. Wrapped tightly around the flesh, but unable to bend the solid spine at the very back. But her hands renew my effort, giving me just the last little bit of strength needed to-

 

Crunch.

 

Snap his neck,  killing him instantly. 

 

…

 

A cold bucket of water is dumped on my head,  and everything comes crashing to a halt. There's a little gasp of surprise that comes from my mouth,  but it isn't my voice that's speaking.  "I- I didn't think we would actually…" The voice fades away along with the second pair of hands, retracting from the scene as quickly as possible and leaving me here alone to deal with the consequences. A shimmer of light until there is nothing.  And everything starts to crash and burn all at once. 

 

It's an immediate polarity reversal. 

 

Dial tone and emotional static fill my head with fuzzy cotton. And I realize exactly what just happened. Oh. Fuck. What am I gonna do?

 

My sore fingers slowly unwrap from around his crushed throat.  There are white imprints on his neck for each finger of my hands,  two palms to show exactly what I had just done. Only the marks of my hands remain.

 

My… my god…

 

I start to lean back in horror.  Wh- what? I just killed someone.  The look on his face terrifies me.  Dead,  neck broken at an awkward angle and shirt covered in blood from a beating so hard his face malformed.

 

My hands… my hands…. There is blood on them. This is something I won’t ever be able to take back.

 

There's a static,  sheer fuzzy numbness that blossoms from inside my chest.  Opening up like a black hole just behind me and sucking away every last ounce of conviction I ever had. I can't believe I've just done this. 

 

My body falls back and starts scrambling away from him at haste. As though this feeling of total emptiness is going to sweep me off the floor and eat me up. Something about the look on his crooked awkward face just shakes me to my core. Black starts to circle in around my vision until I find myself lying flat in the puddle of blood from earlier. All my steam is chased out by the void swallowing up my negative emotions.  It's all too much at once,  so I push it all out. Anywhere anywhere else, but not here.

 

Immediately, everything is replaced with nothing but radio static and an empty void.

 

The void gets bigger and bigger until it reaches my eyes,  making everything at all go completely numb and losing their focus. A blurry world,  where my emotions no longer hurt me. Glazed and distant. 

 

I sit back, staring at his corpse, a small frown on my lips as I feel 

 

Absolutely.

 

Fucking.

 

Nothing. 

 

Going from an emotional high so strong and so sharp to the sheer utter opposite in just moments. All that terror, all that regret,  any shred of remorse, all gone in an instant. Flushed straight out of my system, a switch in my head or my heart that goes from on to off. And now all that's left after my emotional reasoning is dead and gone, is my logical ability to interpret this total lack of feeling.

..

 

He deserved it,  right? And I was so angry,  so convicted, so ready for this.  It should be some kind of catharsis,  he was going to kill me if I didn't do it first. I should get something emotionally from this, if not positive, then negative at least.

 

And yet,  now there's just nothing.  Nothing at all in here. A total emptiness, and I just can't be bothered to feel one way or the other about it anymore. Shouldn't I feel something,  anything? At least feel bad about what I had done? But I can't even manage that. Not a scrape of feeling in either direction. 

 

I just killed a man and all I can really be bothered to think is 'oh well,  I guess it's over now then.' And a bottomless pit of nothing else. 

 

I just sit back and stare at my hands. The blood on them slowly dries, and I can feel my connection to the red slowly fade away in tandem. Maybe… maybe this is a good thing after all. It doesn't hurt me at all. 

 

I don't feel an ounce of guilt. 

 

I could probably do this again and it wouldn't even be half as hard. Logically he deserved it,  at the very least.  And because of that… I think I'd be able to kill anyone else who ticks that "deserves" box in my head.  It's one or the other,  does or doesn't. And because he does,  I don't need to feel a single consequence. And as long as no one sees me,  I think I could probably get away with it as many times as I wanted.

 

Letting go and floating off isn't just a side effect,  it's a tool. So far, so let go from myself that I don't even remotely notice the world around me changing. 

 

The blood is dry,  and the northwestern rain is just starting to pick up. It's a blustery day, and every single color in the world starts to turn a matte gray.  Wisps of foggy smoke start to infiltrate the edges of my glazed vision. 

 

*Click*

 

There's a noise from behind me,  somewhere off in the grass,  but I don't even notice it until.  

 

Bump,  it's the barrel of a revolver placed against the back of my head. 

 

"Hey,  you.  Anybody home?" I startle, shocked out of my revere. The world shifts back into general focus,  but the transition is slow and hard to maintain. 

 

 It's the voice of a woman,  caramelized and deep.  But beautiful nonetheless.  "Now, don't try anything funny. This is loaded." She says, tapping the barrel further against me. 

 

"What do you want from me." I ask,  not moving a muscle,  barely putting an ounce of inflection into my words. It's hard to even feel scared like this. 

 

"You just killed my last lead." She says back,  unphased. "And now you're gonna help me find a new one."

 

(End Of Chapter Six)

←To Be Continued.