I've always wondered how I would die.

Considering how weird my life is, and my penchant for tripping, I always thought it would be due to slipping on a banana peel- something I have had happen on several occasions.

However, that was not how it would all end.

No, it turns out fate decided to play a prank on me today- as if it hasn't already made enough jokes at my expense- and dropped a cast iron basin on my head, snapping my neck and killing me instantly. I was under a clear blue sky. Where this basin came from will likely remain a mystery until the end of time. I really should have listened to my instincts telling me not to take a walk in the park.

I am now floating in what appears to be an endless black void.

I think I might be here for a while, so maybe I should just recount my experiences. Sounds like something Shimizu would do, and everything she does seems to work out well, regardless of how absurd it is.

So. My name is Shouji Kokoro. I'm a cardiologist.

Yeah, laugh it up. I was not influenced by my surname when considering my career.

Anyways, my life has always been strange. Everything about it seems almost as if it came from a gag manga- something I only realized after the person who I would later marry forced me to read one.

It's irritating trying to explain to my colleagues that I have seen steam come out of a person's ears when they're thinking too hard, and them not believing me because we are taught that such a scenario is impossible.

And the number of nosebleeds I've seen during high school that released enough blood to kill a person are innumerable. Yet not a single person bled out from any of them, as if it was completely normal.

Every time someone sees one of these situations, no one bats an eye. But the moment I actually point it out to them, I'm the crazy one?

Speaking of crazy, my wife is the craziest person I've ever met, hands down.

Whenever someone is trying to convince me that all people are made equally, I just point to Shimizu and they back off. Whatever higher being is overlooking our world has a favorite, and it's not us.

And my son, Arika? He's the worst of both worlds. Reality can't decide whether it wants him to be lucky or unlucky and has instead opted to just switch back and forth every two minutes. How do I know this for certain? Just get him to roll a D6 every two minutes. It will only ever land on a 1 or a 6.

...I think that's enough looking back for now though. I might start getting depressed if I think too much.

Now then. How am I supposed to get out of here? As much as I would love to work towards achieving nirvana, I am still very much saddled with worldly desires, and fulfilling those is kind of hard when I'm not entirely sure the world exists anymore.

"Umm... excuse me?"

This fellow... his hair looks like I could use it to open a bottle.

"That's a new one."

"Oh, sorry about that. I didn't even register that you were talking to me. Got a bit absorbed in observing everything."

"It's all good, so far you're quite a bit more... normal, than everyone else."

"In a good way or a bad way?"

"A good way of course. Not that the rest of them were bad people, just a bit... overwhelming, I guess?"

"...would I happen to have any relation to these people?"

"Wow, I didn't expect you to realize it before I got to tell you!"

Haaa...

"So. What did the two of them do?"

"Uh, well, your son got impaled and is now a girl, while your wife fell down a manhole and is currently beating the crap out of a giant wolf with a hammer that's twice the size of her body."

"Sounds about right. However, I don't think it's the greatest idea to tell someone that the people that they dedicated their lives to have died without preparing them for the news. You should probably consult someone about how to do that."

"...alright."

"By the way, who are you?"

"Oh, NOW your asking?"

"I believe you meant to say 'you're' instead of 'your'."

"How can you tell just by hearing it!?"

*pushes up glasses* "After a long life of seeing people use languages incorrectly, you learn to sense how a person would write out what they are saying."

*sigh* "I think we need to get back on track."

"I concur."

"Anyways, I'm Ephiro. The god of things."

"Ah, a god. Interesting. Well then. I am Shouji Kokoro. A pleasure to meet you."

"...you're not going to make fun of my title?"

"No? I feel like that would be quite rude. Besides, I've seen much weirde- Wait, why are you crying?"

Did I say something wrong?

"I- I'm just so happy! Someone's finally taking me seriously!"

"Can you please stop crying?"

I've never been able to deal with crying.

"A- alright! I'll just do the same thing with you that I did with the other two!"

"So this is one of those plots, huh?"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

Well, I guess I'll see my family again sooner than I thought.

******

{Ephiro POV}

A bit of this here, a bit of that there, and... done!

I'm getting a lot better at this reincarnation thing!

...wait. I feel like I might've screwed something up again.

Eh, it's probably fine!

******

Status

Name: Shouji Kokoro

Age: 20 (42)

Gender: Female

Race: Spiritfolk

Titles: [Eye of the Storm]

Skills: [Analysis] Lv. MAX, [Meditation] Lv. 5, [Solar Flare] Lv. SP

******

{Shouji POV}

And now I'm falling from the sky.

Maybe this is how the basin appeared above me.

...It seems I might be here for a while.

******

{Shimizu POV}

So that's where he landed!

"Hey! Shou! Wake up!"

*gets up* "Hmm? That was sooner than I expected. What is it?"

"Is there a reason why you have tits that are bigger than mine now?"

"...Shimi."

"Yes?"

"I think I have a goal now."

"Y-yes?"

"God WILL die, and I WILL be the one to kill him."¹Yet another (mostly) empty threat.

"Shou, your hair's on fire! Can you cool down a bit!?"